The Engaged Groom: You're Getting Married. Read This Book

Overview

Today's groom expects and is expected to take on a large and often times equal role in the planning of the big event. The days of the husband–to–be just showing up with a nice suit on and having no idea of what went into the planning are long gone. This is not to say that the groom's interests need to be the same as the bride's. This book will help the groom to choose what interests them and works well with their talents. If it is not picking out the table cloths to match the flowers, than it could be working on ...

See more details below
Paperback
$12.30
BN.com price
(Save 23%)$15.99 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (67) from $1.99   
  • New (7) from $2.93   
  • Used (60) from $1.99   
Sending request ...

Overview

Today's groom expects and is expected to take on a large and often times equal role in the planning of the big event. The days of the husband–to–be just showing up with a nice suit on and having no idea of what went into the planning are long gone. This is not to say that the groom's interests need to be the same as the bride's. This book will help the groom to choose what interests them and works well with their talents. If it is not picking out the table cloths to match the flowers, than it could be working on the menu or the invitations or even designing the wedding website. For the groom who wishes to be actively involved and not be limited by traditional wedding elements, the book will suggest ways to create a modern wedding. For example turning the focus to the enjoyment of the guests and thinking of the day as a big party, while still respecting the wishes of the families.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Until recently, most wedding planning guides were strictly the province of the bride. Now, along with the current trend of couples seeking to customize their weddings to their own tastes, comes a new category of wedding planners-grooms' guides. New York City-based writer and producer Gordon offers a book that covers much of the same territory as many others in this genre: understanding the basic elements of wedding attire, choosing a best man, registering for gifts, and hiring photographers, videographers, and DJs. The difference is that Gordon does it with humor and intelligence and in a tone that is guy-friendly yet not patronizing (no mention of "clueless grooms" here). He suggests the groom get involved by choosing tasks that interest him and roles that are compatible with his existing skill sets, e.g., the "producer" who makes lists and creates budgets; the "IT consultant" who builds a wedding web site or creates spreadsheets to track addresses, RSVPs, and thank you notes; the "delivery guy" who drops off and picks up stuff. Gordon's down-to-earth, practical advice-based on his experiences during his own engagement and recent marriage to Rabbi Leora Kaye-rings true. One of the best of its kind, this guide is highly recommended for all libraries holding wedding planning collections.-Deborah Ebster, Univ. of Central Florida Libs., Orlando Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780060855826
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 12/27/2005
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 575,946
  • Product dimensions: 5.40 (w) x 10.88 (h) x 0.73 (d)

Meet the Author

Doug Gordon is the creator of the popular blog PlanetGordon.com. He is also a television producer and writer whose work includes "Modern Marvels" for The History Channel and "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" for ABC. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, with his wife, Leora Kaye.

Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

The Engaged Groom

You're Getting Married. Read this Book.
By Doug Gordon

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2005 Doug Gordon
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0060855827

Chapter One

Why Doing Nothing Is as Important
as Anything . . . for Now

It may seem counterintuitive, but the best thing you can do right now is nothing. I know what you're thinking: "Aren't there a million things to do?" Yes, and that's precisely the reason why you, your fiancée, and your families should agree to do absolutely nothing, at least for now.

When Leora and I got engaged, we, along with our families and friends, were riding high on a wave of excitement. Recognizing that we would quickly become mired in the minutiae of event planning, I declared a one-week moratorium on wedding details. For seven days we would make no definitive plans and would hold no meetings with facility managers, bandleaders, or stationers. We would simply sit back and enjoy ourselves for at least a little while and not let a narrow focus on details take the place of our joy at getting engaged.

Your wedding moratorium need not last a week. It could be a day, a month, or any time in between. Your personality, your bride's patience, family pressure, and your specific circumstances will dictate your timeline. If you're planning a long engagement, will your plans really change if you start making them seventy-four weeks before your wedding rather than seventy-five? With all the details that are likely to dominate your conversations, taking a deep breath before you and your fiancée dive in is a great way to get started on the right foot. (But then again, if it's February and you're hoping for a spring wedding, I wouldn't recommend waiting too long lest you find that every church, temple, and even the event room at your local Motel 6 is booked solid for the next six months.)

As for my own wedding-planning moratorium, it was a good idea at least in theory. Although I had called for a time-out of one week, too many people were too excited and had too many questions for us to hold out for the entire seven days. The moratorium turned out to be no more than the proverbial finger in the dike, stemming a flood of planning and details that couldn't be ignored.

Engaged Groom Tip

Wedding-Free Zones

Getting ready for your wedding can sometimes feel as if you are listening to a radio station called KWED, "All Wedding Planning, All the Time." Sometimes you'll just want to change the dial, if not throw the radio out the window altogether. Know your limitations. If you work late on Wednesdays, have a regular poker night with your friends on Fridays, or tend to fall asleep early on Sundays, perhaps one of those times would be good to choose as what I call a wedding-free zone.

What does it mean to be "wedding-free"? Exactly what it sounds like. During a time of your mutual choosing, you and your bride should talk about anything -- the weather, sports, the geopolitical situation in the Korean peninsula and its effect on Asian futures trading -- except your wedding. Don't talk about song lists, don't try to pick out a font for your invitation, and, for the love of everything good in this world, don't look at any color swatches. (The operative phrase in this paragraph is, of course, "a time of your mutual choosing." Remember that your fiancée might also have events she might not want to miss or nights on which she needs to just veg out in front of the TV.)

A weekly date night might be the best use of your wedding-free zone. Taking some time to check in with each other and have fun can keep you focused on why you got engaged in the first place. But just as you'd never bring work from the office on a first date, your weekly date nights should be the exclusive territory of you and your fiancée. The date night is not a time to discuss wedding plans or take cell phone calls from pushy parents. Like a carefully monitored IV drip dispensing 250 cc of perspective and relief, regularly going out for dinner, a movie, or a stroll through a park can keep both of you calm and levelheaded as your hurtle toward the big day.

Continues...


Excerpted from The Engaged Groom by Doug Gordon Copyright © 2005 by Doug Gordon. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 12 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 25, 2006

    Sane, Sensible...and Entertaining

    I bought this book for my future husband after seeing the author on TV. I had been looking for a good book to encourage my groom to help out and didn't like what was out there. Most of the books had words like 'clueless' or 'idiot' in the title or warned about 'not screwing up her big day' or 'not going insane.' Who wants to give their future husband a book that basically tells them they're stupid? I was so refreshed to find this book: straightforward, honest, practical, and funny. Lots of great advice, not condescending, and very helpful, even for a guy like mine who needed a little prodding. It's been as helpful for me as the bride as it has been for my groom. I've read a lot of wedding books and this one holds its own among the best of them.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2006

    The Most Helpful

    I was a little skeptical when my fiancee got this for me but quickly became hooked since Gordon was describing so much of what I was going through and answered a lot of the questions I was afraid to ask. Some good common sense advice on registering, for example, which was something I wanted to take care of. The book gave some good advice on which guests get invited with a date, and this was a big topic of discussion in our families! Great advice on how to deal with pain in the neck guests, too, since we will have a few of those. Don't be a skeptic like me! As it says on the cover, if you are getting married you should read this book.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted November 11, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Good info aimed at the groom

    This was very helpful and easy to look things up in. My grrom found it very useful.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 14, 2007

    A reviewer

    I read my fiance's copy and now give this as a gift to all of my friends' husbands-to-be. There are so many books and gifts for brides, but not a lot for grooms, and this one is perfect. I really loved the advice and when I give it to someone else they are always intrigued...I usually get a call a week later saying how much the guy liked it. Big recommendation!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 11, 2006

    Perfect for any guy...even me.

    My bride gave this to me. I'm not usually inclined to help out, but I knew planning our wedding would be huge. (And it's not over yet!) This book is a gigantic help...calm, cool advice, practical, funny, very funny in fact, and just a great read. Highly recommended to any groom who has even a few questions...my bride read it after me and she loved it too!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 3, 2005

    The Best Book for Grooms...and Brides!!!

    Okay, I saw an advance copy of this book and devoured it. I'm getting married in 6 months and heard about it and was able to get my hands on a preview copy. This is hands down the best book for grooms out there...for all types of guys from the guy who wants to do everything to the guy who sits back and does nothing. It's funny and well written, doesn't talk down to guys, and has a lot of advice beyond the typical wedding guide. I wanted to get this for my future husband, but as a bride, it even gave me a lot of perspective. I would recommend this as a good common sense book that's worth reading by anyone who is planning a wedding big or small. Once I did hand it over to my groom he loved it! He has a few buddies who are also getting married and this will be the first gift we buy them, even before we buy something from their registries!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 5, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 13, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 23, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 23, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 29, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 12 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)