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The Family Freeloader
     

The Family Freeloader

1.2 21
by Sister Renee Pittelli
 
We're all familiar with the stereotypical freeloading relative. He's usually depicted in the movies as an able-bodied but unkempt bum, who lives with mom or a more responsible sibling, refuses to get a job, and spends his days lying on the sofa, drinking beer, getting potato chips all over the carpet, and watching cartoon marathons. But in real life, few family

Overview

We're all familiar with the stereotypical freeloading relative. He's usually depicted in the movies as an able-bodied but unkempt bum, who lives with mom or a more responsible sibling, refuses to get a job, and spends his days lying on the sofa, drinking beer, getting potato chips all over the carpet, and watching cartoon marathons. But in real life, few family freeloaders are so obvious.

OUR freeloaders are professionals. They're subtle. They're versatile. They run complicated scams and convoluted cons on us. They always have their antennae up for any little clue they might find useful. Like the predators they are, they're constantly sizing us up to see what they can get out of us. They're looking for personality traits they can use against us, like gullibility, kindness, a trusting nature, or a soft heart. Even our pride is useful to them-because then they can employ flattery, or "gratitude," to get what they want.

If you're susceptible to guilt, it makes you an easy target. If you're a sympathetic person, quick to feel sorry for those who are going through tough times, or if you easily empathize with others, then you're an even better target. If you're concerned about other people's opinions and want everybody to think you're nice, that's like a flashing neon "Sucker" sign over your head. To a con man, if you have trouble saying "No," that's a sign of weakness which he can exploit. If we're efficient, or pride ourselves on being "problem-solvers," then the freeloader will give us a problem to solve for him. If we have a "rescuer" mentality, our freeloader will help us satisfy those urges. Freeloaders and con men are looking for "people pleasers."

Is it important to you to give others the impression that you're a "good Christian?" Or to prove to YOURSELF that you're a good Christian? We presume that "good" Christians give to charity, but how do you define "charity?" Do you think you have to give to every hard luck case who asks? Does your chronically unemployed cousin qualify as a legitimate charity cause in your mind? Would it make you a "bad" Christian to say "No" to the sister-in-law who constantly imposes on you? If you equate agreeing to every request anybody ever asks of you, or giving money to every person who seems to need it, with being a "good" Christian, then once a freeloader gets a hold of you, you're in for a long night........

Written with humor, wisdom, and a healthy dose of common sense, The Family Freeloader teaches us 21 Ways To Spot A Con, the various ploys that freeloaders use to scam money or favors out of us, how they observe and test us, and which personality traits make us seem like easy prey. We will systematically debunk their most common sob stories and surprisingly sneaky tactics, study what the Bible REALLY says about giving to the poor vs. supporting a bum, and learn step-by-step effective strategies for letting go of the guilt and saying "No" to our family freeloaders. This book is an invaluable lesson for all kind-hearted, generous folks who love their families, on how to avoid being taken advantage of by the unscrupulous among us.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781432741815
Publisher:
Outskirts Press, Inc.
Publication date:
06/30/2009
Pages:
160
Sales rank:
904,356
Product dimensions:
6.14(w) x 9.21(h) x 0.34(d)

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The Family Freeloader 1.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 21 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Useless. Most of the book was just common knowledge. Basic info that most people already know or can be looked up on the Internet. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Couldn't take this melodramatic book seriously. Reading this I thought, "Are you serious?!".
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Should have spent time/money reading something better.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Don't waste your time or money, and read something better instead.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Unlike the implication of this book, the basis that either others perceive you as a decent Christian, or you do, is a false dichotomy. It doesn't have to be either/or, and that's not all there is to it. God is the ultimate moral authority, and His judgment of a person matters most. Another issue is. Words are not relative or re-definable, unlike the description of the book implies (ie. the 'How do YOU define "charity?' part). The dictionary says that charity is defined as, "generous actions or donations to aid the poor, ill, or helpless". This relates to "the love of Christians for other persons, corresponding to the love of God for humankind." So it's not as if you can just re-shape a word's meaning based on what you want. This is another flawed point that I don't agree with. Just as God looks into the hearts of humans to judge their character and intentions, I believe we should try to look into the intentions of those asking for charity. We shouldn't be stingy, but we shouldn't throw pearls before swine. Look for red flags of manipulative or weaselly opportunists, and learn to discern people's intentions when they ask you for/to do something. The Bible is the go-to manual for describing character traits in people to emulate, and those to avoid. You can also search for red flags via a search engine. So for example, if a relative, let's say your aunt, is a single mom who recently divorced her husband because he lost his high-paying job due to an injury, asks you for money. She is on welfare and is receiving child support payments or else her ex gets put in jail. She treats the children as an after-thought, often bringing strange men into her home after a night of partying. Should you help her out? Her background info tells you that she has no qualms about ruining her children's life by ensuring they will not have their dad in their childhood. She doesn't care about her children's well-being and safety to bring strangers in the house, just to satisfy her fleeting lust. This means her children statistically will also have a higher chance of dropping out of school and landing in jail or prostitution. That relative also made the choice to put herself in the position she's in. All because she valued greed and status more than her own husband and children. Therefore, the answer would hopefully be "no". Giving her money would enable her to continue her destructive lifestyle, and send the message that it's okay to put family and children secondary to her sinful desires. Compare this to giving a recently-unemployed relative money, a relative who was hard-working and who lost his or her job due to circumstances out of their control, ie. their career/industry is being off-shored. In this case, the character of the person in question seems much more pleasing to God, and has a real need that was unpreventable. In sum, this book did not go in the direction I was hoping for.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Not good enough. Needed 22 Ways To Spot A Con. Jokes aside.. "Is it important to you to give others the impression that you're a "good Christian?" Or to prove to YOURSELF that you're a good Christian?"
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Don't like. Message like telling reader to be cuck.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
To become anti-fragile, just stop caring what others think (with the exception for constructive criticism).
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PeggieVA More than 1 year ago
I am not sure if I would classify this as a Religious or Psychology book. But either way it is an easy read, enlightening , and at times verry funny. I have read it a couple of times , and found different family members each time! I highly recommend this book for anyone who did not grow up in a prefect home what ever that is....