The Feminist and the Cowboy: An Unlikely Love Story

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Overview

The bestselling author of The Dirty Girls Social Club returns with an engrossing memoir about how falling in love with a sexy cowboy turned her feminist beliefs upside down.

Feminism was a religion in Alisa Valdes’s childhood home. Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem took the place of Barbies and left Valdes impressed with a feminist ideology that guided a prolific writing career—at twenty-two Valdes was named one of the top feminist writers ...

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The Feminist and the Cowboy: An Unlikely Love Story

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Overview

The bestselling author of The Dirty Girls Social Club returns with an engrossing memoir about how falling in love with a sexy cowboy turned her feminist beliefs upside down.

Feminism was a religion in Alisa Valdes’s childhood home. Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem took the place of Barbies and left Valdes impressed with a feminist ideology that guided a prolific writing career—at twenty-two Valdes was named one of the top feminist writers under thirty by the editor of Ms Magazine.

Yet despite her professional success, Valdes hit forty-two a single mom and a serial dater of inadequate men in tweed jackets—until she met the Cowboy. A conservative rancher, the Cowboy held the traditional views on gender roles that Valdes was raised to reject. Yet as she falls head-over-spurs for him and their relationship finds harmony, she finds the strength, peace, and happiness that comes from embracing her femininity.

From their first date the Cowboy makes her pulse race, and she discovers that “when men… act like men rather than like emasculated boys, you as a woman will find not only great pleasure in submitting to them but also great growth as a person.”  Told with plenty of humor and candor, The Feminist and the Cowboy will delight the many readers who made The Pioneer Woman a bestseller—not to mention every woman who dreams of being swept away by a rugged cowboy.

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Editorial Reviews

Kirkus Reviews
A big-city girl finds loves where she least expects it and re-examines her life in the process. Valdes (Puta, 2012, etc.) details her unexpected relationship with a conservative New Mexico cowboy. The author was recovering from a failed marriage and a stalled career when she reluctantly agreed to go on a first date with "The Cowboy." What follows are the dramatic ups and downs of their passionate relationship. This memoir will appeal to Valdes' fans, who will appreciate its self-deprecating, conversational tone and the tension between the two lovers. The Cowboy resembles a romance-novel stereotype: strong and handsome, self-sufficient and controlling. That Valdes fell passionately in love with this manly man won't surprise many readers, but it worried the author, especially since the Cowboy insisted that she submit to him in various activities, like driving, ranching and sex. These worries led Valdes into therapy and a re-examination of the events of her childhood and the political beliefs of her family. Rather than just chalking it up to the irrational power of love, Valdes felt the need to justify this new relationship and her submissiveness with pop gender studies. She arrived at a dismissal of the early feminist theories that she was (sort of) raised with. Unfortunately, these sections divert readers from the more titillating story of the city girl/country boy romance. Much of Valdes' research is undocumented, and the lack of a bibliography is troubling. It will no doubt, however, work to attract attention to and controversy for what would otherwise be a sweet but forgettable memoir. A memoir for chick-lit fans who can stomach a bit of politics along with their romance.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781592407903
  • Publisher: Gotham
  • Publication date: 1/3/2013
  • Pages: 336
  • Sales rank: 968,571
  • Product dimensions: 6.20 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 1.30 (d)

Meet the Author

Alisa Valdes lives in New Mexico and divides her time between a house in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and a ranch in southern New Mexico.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 2.5
( 6 )
Rating Distribution

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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2013

    The author has admitted that the Cowboy, whom she is no longer w

    The author has admitted that the Cowboy, whom she is no longer with, physically and emotionally abused her, including raping her and causing her to fear for her life. She is now being shunned by her publisher (and has been forced to delete her detailed blog post on the subject) but it's been reproduced and written about at length. It's extremely unfortunate that this book is now floating around out there to encourage women to seek out and stay with abusive partners.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 7, 2013

    This book was a fast read, because I was searching for the love

    This book was a fast read, because I was searching for the love story.  There was no love story, there was nothing warm and fuzzy about it.  The cowboy comes across as the villain not the romantic, noble, caring love interest. I did not enjoy the over-generalizations of liberal men of being inadequate suitors.  The creepy men Alisa dates are just creepy not creepy because they are liberals. I hope there is no sequel to this un-love story 

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 4, 2013

    more from this reviewer

    The Feminist in this novel is a hyper-liberal woman who reflects

    The Feminist in this novel is a hyper-liberal woman who reflects the epitome of the feminist from the 20th Century who ultimately made the opposite sex the enemy. It’s an extremist attitude that unfortunately evolved as a reaction to years of woman experiencing poor to shoddy treatment at the hands of men. This is confirmed in the story of the feminist’s own mother who abandoned her child and launched into a new life that would be free.
    When the protagonist meets the Cowboy, an antagonist in the true sense of the word, he’s something she’s never met, a man who is ultra-macho (actually he’s downright nasty and rude at times, something that the Feminist seems to miss in her bedazzled state) and yet very traditional in the way he courts a lady. At times the Feminist assumes a great deal and those assumptions make her the target of his wrath and also expose her unruly tirades of rage as well, to the point where she knows she is in serious need of anger management counseling and/or help.
    While the author attempts to make the Cowboy come out as a totally balanced male, it just doesn’t work. He tries to be neutral and yet is as domineering in his own “tough love” fashion. This reader is unimpressed by him and definitely not “wowed” by his tactics that are missing the sense of compassion and caring that is okay for men to demonstrate to women. To generalize that the feminist movement made women out of all men is a large stretch for sure, albeit it may be true for some.
    The Feminist and the Cowboy is an okay read, very fine in the way the main female character grows and changes, but one hopes she can evolve even more to see that the Cowboy she has grown to care for needs some evolution himself.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 15, 2013

    Great Read

    I loved this book! It's written like a friend that is telling you a story and it will really make you think about the way that you approach a relationship and what you are looking for.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 21, 2013

    Should this book be in the fiction section? Regretably there se

    Should this book be in the fiction section? Regretably there seems to be alot of truth in the Anonymous post on 14 Jan.
    Several articles on the web dispell the romance of the book. A "truthful" book would probably done just as well in sales. With the right marketing spin the book could have been hyped for/against conservatives, cowboys, liberals, feminists, current medicated childhood ailments. I did not get it while I read the book, but there seemed to be a lot between the lines that Valdes was not telling about when she was with the cowboy. Valdes might have written a better book telling the truth, and done just as well or better in sales. Is there any truth in the book? Valdes writes that liberals think, from the liberal point of view, its a culture war of liberals vs. conservatives. This book seems to illustrate the difficulty liberals seem to have telling the truth. Did her son really do better after someone expected him to do better?

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

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