The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier

The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier

by Ariane de Bonvoisin

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The First 30 Days reveals the nine principles of change that will revolutionize how you face transition times. With real-life stories, practical exercises, and inspiring action points, this book teaches the skills you need to face or make any change in your life, including how to:

  • Use your Change Muscle
  • Combat fear, doubt, and all your

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The First 30 Days reveals the nine principles of change that will revolutionize how you face transition times. With real-life stories, practical exercises, and inspiring action points, this book teaches the skills you need to face or make any change in your life, including how to:

  • Use your Change Muscle
  • Combat fear, doubt, and all your change demons
  • Get in touch with your spiritual side
  • Create a plan that will get you results

Editorial Reviews

Chicago Tribune
“Good or bad, whether foisted upon us or of our own choosing, change is always tough. Author Ariane de Bonvoisin focuses on the first 30 days in her book and offers nine principles to lessen the pain and nurture the gain.”
USA Today
“De Bonvoisin urges readers to believe that change is a good thing, that it’s part of life and happens to everyone. She writes about recongizing negative influences and surrounding yourself with positive influences.”
Deepak Chopra
“Since change is the only constant in life, it helps to have an expert navigate through the ups and downs of life. The First 30 Days is an excellent guide.”
Marci Shimoff
“What could you do to start loving your life more? This book helps you answer that question and provides the tools you need to make it happen.”
Redbook Magazine
“Smart, sane advice to guide you through the first month of any life change...”
Wayne Dyer
“This beautiful book is like having a compassionate friend guiding you through the beginning stages of any major change in your life. I loved it.”
Cathie Black
“This book is full of practical information that will both inspire and inform. … a must read.”
“de Bonvoisin found common threads among those who successfully navigated shifting circumstances, whether they were thrown cruel curveballs or desperately seeking something new: They have a positive outlook, a support team and an action plan.”
David Bach
“Ariane can inspire and inform all of us going through change, whether it be big or small, professional or personal.”
Richard Parsons
“The First 30 Days can help people change their lives.”
Mike Dooley
“Ariane has a wonderful, warm, inspiring approach to life, to changes we all go through and to what’s important. This book is filled with ways to make change simpler, easier and less stressful. I highly recommend it.”
Karen Salmansohn
“The First 30 Days is ideal for anyone going through a change, wanting to make a change or helping someone through a change. There are gems of wisdom in here that will make a difference in how we all get through change and transitions in life.”
Library Journal

Life coach/trainer de Bonvoisin expands on the change theme by offering readers direction in the changes they want to make. She begins by giving a "change guarantee," which means that from every change, no matter how difficult, good will come. Drawing on real-life stories, she helps readers through the difficult stages of change, taking an in-depth look at resistance to change (the drive that wants things back the old way) and suggesting ways to surmount it. Breaking up, handling a bad health diagnosis, trying to lose weight, and starting a new job are some of the areas covered. For public libraries.
—Deborah Bigelow

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Product Details

HarperCollins Publishers
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5.32(w) x 7.98(h) x 0.57(d)

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Meet the Author

Ariane de Bonvoisin is the founder of, a website that helps people transition through dozens of changes, whether the change involves a health diagnosis, going green, moving to a new city, or getting married. She has a degree in economics and international relations from the London School of Economics and an MBA from Stanford University. Ariane worked at the Boston Consulting Group and with media giants BMG, Sony, and Time Warner before pursuing her dream to make a difference in people's lives. became her life's work in 2005. Ariane is based in New York City where her company is also headquartered.

Read an Excerpt

The First 30 Days Your Guide to Any Change (and Loving Your Life More)
By Ariane de Bonvoisin
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. Copyright © 2008 Ariane de Bonvoisin
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780061472831

Chapter One

Change Your View of Change Beliefs Can Make All the Difference

Principle 1: People who successfully navigate change have positive beliefs

Your biggest need right now is to develop new beliefs: about yourself, about this change and about life in general. Nothing will have a bigger impact on the way you move through change.

What you believe about change—and about yourself—will be the major filter for how you get through your current transition, whether you're in day one, day thirty, or years past the start of the change. A belief is something you think is true. It can be very strongly ingrained, like a conviction; or weaker, like something you happen to think is correct. This means that if you believe that change is difficult and terrible, you will likely have a difficult and terrible time. The beliefs you have about who you are also directly affect how you feel during change. Are you strong and capable, or unsure and fearful?

There are some striking differences between people who are good at change and those who struggle. People who embrace change—the people I like to call change optimists—think: Change is good. Change is about growing, and something exciting may be waiting for me on the other side of this transition. They believethat change brings something new into their lives and that change always serves somehow. When change is thrust upon them or when they need to initiate a change on their own, these optimistic people try to make the best of the situation by looking for the positive.

The people I have met who fear change usually believe that change is hard, that it brings up all of their anxieties and insecurities, and that it takes forever. They also think that they are unlucky if tough change comes into their lives, and that they will be paralyzed, stressed, and unable to move past it.

Can you see the difference in these two ways of viewing the world?

Which one sounds familiar to you?

The quickest way to take control during change is first to become aware of what your mind is feeding you and then to make a concerted effort to choose better thoughts and beliefs. Start to notice what you most often think and say to yourself—and to others. For example, if you break up with someone, you may believe you will be single forever because you are not attractive or worthy of a committed partner. If you get sick, you may believe that the illness is permanent and that you will never feel better. If you try to lose weight, you may believe you will fail yet again. And if you lose your home in a hurricane, you may believe you will never be happy or comfortable again. These are all beliefs you have created in your own mind.

The good news is that we can identify and bust the myths and fears we have about change. We have a choice about what things mean to us. We create our distortions and our truths. They are part of the software that runs the computer inside our head. We all have the same hard drive, but each of us has unique programs that control our life. Once we have identified the most dominant programs (beliefs) running on our computer, we have the ability to drag the negative ones into the trash and replace them with programs that will serve us better. We can see this in the person who was fired and quickly moved on to a better job versus the person who wallowed for years in unemployed misery. Or the cancer survivor who used the illness to find a renewed love of life versus the survivor who is still full of fear and uncertainty. The difference between these people is the beliefs that they hold.

The Tribe: The Source of Your Current Beliefs

In a perfect world, our parents would teach us that change is the only guarantee in life and that it is therefore essential to be good at accepting change and moving through it. Wouldn't it have been great if your mom had asked you each evening, "What changed today, what is new, and what's good about that?" Acknowledging changes in this way would have helped us develop a view of change that would support us later in life, when we are faced time and time again with new situations and experiences.

Take a moment to think about why you have made the life choices that you have—whom to marry, what kind of work to pursue, where to live—and you'll see that we are often a walking imprint of the beliefs of our family and friends—what I like to call the tribe. Sometimes this loyalty to the tribe is conscious; but most often it is unconscious. This loyalty helps us feel connected to the people in our lives on a deeper level. Your tribe has probably helped shape the way you live, but it can also take away your ability to see and choose the best way to move through change. Every member of your tribe has his or her own model of the world and is all too eager to share it with you. Going against your tribe can be uncomfortable and threatening. If your family believes deeply in the institution of marriage, it takes courage to tell them that you choose to believe that divorce can be a good thing. Or maybe you dream of owning your own business, but your tribe always encouraged you to maintain a steady job. Who is in your tribe? Ask yourself who still has power and influence over your choices and the changes you want to make.

As a friend of mine, Kathy, once told me, "During change I've found that a lot of people have a tendency to hold on to other people's patterns. People need to look at themselves and ask, 'Who am I as an individual?' not 'Who am I as the daughter of my mother or father, the wife of my husband, or the mother to my kids?' "


Excerpted from The First 30 Days by Ariane de Bonvoisin Copyright © 2008 by Ariane de Bonvoisin. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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