The Five Lesbian Brothers Guide to Life

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Overview

Congratulations, fellow lesbo!You have just been invited to join the award-winning, nationally acclaimed theater troupe as they move from the stage to the page. With all their wit intact, they declare, "You can use this book to make you laugh, to make your friends cry, to upset your parents, to educate the uninformed, or as a coming-out tool." Exploring every aspect of lesbian life, they cover:
-- Early indications that the straight life is not your style -- from unusual ...
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Overview

Congratulations, fellow lesbo!You have just been invited to join the award-winning, nationally acclaimed theater troupe as they move from the stage to the page. With all their wit intact, they declare, "You can use this book to make you laugh, to make your friends cry, to upset your parents, to educate the uninformed, or as a coming-out tool." Exploring every aspect of lesbian life, they cover:
-- Early indications that the straight life is not your style -- from unusual encounters with Barbie to the proclivity to participate in every high school sport
-- Helpful do's and don'ts for coming out at family dinners, at weddings, and at board meetings
-- The language of lesbianism -- in an uninhibited "dyketionary"
-- How to achieve"lesbian style, " the ultimate standard in American lifestyles today
-- Seduction, sex. and other tips on finding and keeping the perfect partner

Definitely proving that "laughing well is the best revenge" (Los Angeles Times), here is the most refreshing, most revealing and raunchiest reference book ever to come out of the closet.

The award-winning, nationally acclaimed theater company presents the most refreshing, most revealing and raunchiest reference book ever to come out of the closet. 58 illustrations.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
Laurie Stone Village Voice
The Five Lesbian Brothers are...inventive, lusty, and irreverent.

Ms. Magazine
The Five Lesbian Brothers woo audiences with a unique blend of raunchy camp, subversive and side-splitting dialogue, and a ton of sexual innuendo.

Library Journal
The five "brothers" are Maureen Angelos, Babs Davy, Dominique Dibbell, Peg Healey, and Lisa Kron, who have performed together as a traveling theater group for the past seven years. Readers should be aware that though this is called a "reference" book, the word "fabricated" in the description is accurate. The book is funny and particularly fine for reading aloud to significant others; the surveys designed to help you decide whether you are lesbian and, if so, what style or type you are, could easily become lesbian trivial pursuit games. But while this is a delightful book, its appeal lies with a special audiencelesbians who can laugh at themselves. Purchase where demand requires.Pauline Klein, DeKalb Cty. P.L., Decatur, Ga.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780684813844
  • Publisher: Touchstone
  • Publication date: 11/3/1997
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 192
  • Product dimensions: 0.42 (w) x 5.50 (h) x 8.50 (d)

Meet the Author

The Five Lesbian Brothers—Maureen Angelos, Babs Davy, Dominique Dibbell, Peg Healey, and Lisa Kron—have written and starred in four plays and have appeared both off Broadway and on tour throughout the country.

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Read an Excerpt

From Part III, Relationships (Finding Her And Keeping Her)

Okay. You're ready to begin your new, exciting life as a lesbian. There's just one thing you're missing—a babe. Here's a list of some of the most likely spots to find that special someone.

COMMUNITY CENTERS: Community centers are ideal for you, novice lesbian, because your "gaydar" is probably not well-honed yet. You need to be in a setting where you can be 99 percent certain that the woman you are about to proposition is a lesbian. Otherwise, that cute woman in the subway with the short haircut might slap you in the face when you ask her out. At the center, you run the risk of hitting on some cute little fags at first, but they are usually nice about it.

LIBRARIES: Libraries are a lesbian's happy hunting ground. Stake out a desk near the women's lit section or the gay/lesbian section and you will be like a bear in a beehive. A request for access to the Rare Book Room will also get you access to the foxy head librarian.

BARS: It used to be that 95 percent of all lesbians met in bars. With the increased popularity of twelve-step groups, that number has decreased significantly (except in some rural areas). Look for bars with names like Shadows, Backstreets, and The Purple Iris (see "Closety Bar Names" in Part VIII). Drink little and tip big and you can get the bartender to help you sort out the "maybes" from the "you bets."

MUSIC FESTIVALS: Music festivals are a great initiation for the brand-new lesbian. The most compelling feature of these events, besides the fact they are generally women only, is that there is a great deal of nakedness, giving you ample time to lean up against a tree and speculate on how much fun the rest of your life is going to be. A downside is that after three of four days of living on beans and tofu, your tent is uninhabitable.

SPORTS LEAGUES: Sports are a great way to look for personality traits in people. You're attracted to that cute center on your basketball team and you're thinking about asking her on a date—but wait. Watch how she reacts in the fourth quarter with three seconds on the clock and it's all down to her. If she turns into a monster, take a second look at that forward or that guard. A well-adjusted personality can be very attractive.

GROUP THERAPY: Under no circumstances should you date another woman in your therapy group. Look elsewhere, lesbian!

TWELVE-STEP GROUPS: Twelve-step groups are not like group therapy. You can date someone in your twelve-step program provided—and this is important—that you are within three of four steps of each other. In other words, advanced twelve-steppers and novices do not mix. You will get into that caretaker/helpless child routine, driving you deeper into the destructive behavior you were doing so well at overcoming in the first place.

EXERCISE YARD: You're new to prison and everybody's probably paired up already. Don't fear. User your time in the exercise yard to impress the local gals with your physical prowess. Soon some little honey will abandon her tired old girlfriend for your fresh blood. Just be prepared to fight for love and don't let anyone know you're doing time for stealing a stapler from the office supply closet.

MESS TENT:You might not have known you were a lesbian when you joined the army. You just thought you liked to wear a uniform and work with your hands. But now that you're here, it's all starting to make sense. Now your only problem is how to tell the butches from the femmes when everyone is dressed the same.

Copyright © 1997 by The Five Lesbian Brothers

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