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The Five Money Personalities Guidebook

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Overview

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the other approaches money.

Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple—from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both ...

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The 5 Money Personalities Guidebook

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Overview

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the other approaches money.

Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple—from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons feeling hurt and angry. It’s why money has become the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. Obviously, something needs to change. The reason this crisis has not been addressed is because it has never been identified, defined, or given a name. Scott and Bethany Palmer, aka “The Money Couple,” have identified and defined this problem and offer concrete solutions to fix it.

With The 5 Money PersonalitiesDVD-Based Study, you can get to the root of money arguments and start really working together. You’ll discover what has an impact on your loved one’s money decisions, and you’ll learn how to talk about money in a way that’s actually fun! You’ll figure out how to put an end to money secrets and lies once and for all.

Features include:

  • 12 sessions of interactive reflection and study
  • Valuable discussion questions for couples and small groups

Intended for use with The 5 Money Personalities DVD-Based Study (9781401678166).

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781401678333
  • Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
  • Publication date: 1/1/2013
  • Pages: 64
  • Sales rank: 1,030,398
  • Product dimensions: 5.40 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 0.30 (d)

Meet the Author

Scott and Bethany Palmer, The Money Couple, have dedicated their lives to helping others strengthen their relationships with the 5 Money Personalities. With forty-three years of combined financial planning experience, they launched “The Money Couple” and are regulars on national TV and radio and speak internationally about love and money. Scott and Bethany enjoy an active lifestyle with their two young sons, Cole and Cade.
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Read an Excerpt

The 5 Money Personalities Guidebook


By Scott Palmer Bethany Palmer

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2013 Scott and Bethany Palmer
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4016-7833-3


Chapter One

Session 1 Your Money Relationship

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. —1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

It all starts with the vows: For richer or poorer. We stand up at our weddings and recite those vows fully expecting that we will happily stand by each other, no matter what. We have big dreams about the life we're starting with this person we love so much.

And then life happens. It doesn't matter if things go along just as you planned or if your plans get derailed early on. The bottom line is that life, no matter how great it is, pushes a lot of your hopes and dreams to the side. You have jobs. You have kids. You buy a house. You lose a house. Your parents get older. You find yourselves stressed out by the present and worried about the future. And over time, through no fault of your own, those dreams you had for your life together get put on the back burner and one by one, they start to dry up and disappear.

If you think about the dreams you had when you got married, most of them have some kind of money component—buying a house, having children, getting a job, moving to a new city, traveling, spending time with friends. Money doesn't equal happiness, but money does play a part in whether our dreams turn into reality.

There's a reason we take vows to stick together in richer or poorer. Money ripples into every part of our lives as couples. That's why, whether you have it or you don't, money can test a relationship.

Because money trickles out of and into just about every decision we make during the day, it's not surprising that couples clash over money. It's like a constant pop quiz, one you're bound to fail unless you and your spouse have a strong Money Relationship.

Your Money Relationship is not the same thing as your financial arrangement. Your financial plans, your debt, your investments, your taxes, your budget—those make up one aspect of your life together. And that's not what this book is about. We want to focus on the relationship behind that part of your life, your Money Relationship. That's the part of your marriage that involves all of those little, day-to-day decisions about money.

You and your spouse started your lives together with big dreams. So now it's time to do what it takes to reclaim those dreams, to quit arguing about money and heal your Money Relationship.

1. What percentage of relationships end over money? _______

2. A Money Relationship is the decisions couples make where _________________ is involved.

3. A Money Relationship is NOT:

• _____________________________________________________

• _____________________________________________________

• _____________________________________________________

4. A Money Relationship IS:

• _____________________________________________________

• _____________________________________________________

• _____________________________________________________

5. You are learning how to bring ______________________ and _________________________ together.

Notes:

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

INTERACTIVE DISCUSSION POINTS

1. What are your expectations for the next 90 days? _______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

2. List one or two decisions you have made recently that involve money.

___________________________ __________________________

3. List ten decisions you made in the last week that involved money.

___________________________ __________________________

___________________________ __________________________

___________________________ __________________________

4. Now list one or two decisions that you didn't think of as money decisions at the time, but that you now realize had a money component.

___________________________ __________________________

5. First Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to encourage and build each other up. Take a moment to tell your partner how you would like to encourage him or her over the next twelve weeks.

WEEKLY ACTIVITY

For the next few days, write down one decision each day that involved money.

Day 1: ____________________________________________________

Day 2: ____________________________________________________

Day 3: ____________________________________________________

Day 4: ____________________________________________________

Day 5: Come together: Share your lists. Are you surprised by how often you make money decisions?

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Chapter Two

Session 2 Getting to Know ME

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. —Psalm 139:13–14

Everyone thinks about and deals with money in a unique, highly personal way. That's because each of us has something we call a Money Personality and there are five of them. Each of the five Money Personalities has its strengths and its challenges. Each of them can help you make great financial decisions and each of them has the potential to get you into financial trouble. That's why we remind people that there is no right or wrong Money Personality. They are what they are.

The goal in discovering your Money Personality isn't to point out your flaws. It's to help you understand yourself and the way you think about and deal with money because the more you know about yourself and your perspective on money, the better equipped you are to work with your spouse to build a strong Money Relationship.

Your Money Personality is the lens through which you make money decisions. It's what motivates you to wait until that sweater is on sale. It's what drives you to put 30 percent of your paycheck in your savings account. It's what makes you treat everyone to dinner when you're out with friends. And since money touches every decision you make, your Money Personality frames your perspective on life.

Your Money Personality isn't a separate piece of you—it's fully integrated into other parts of your personality and vice versa. The deeper your recognition of the ways your Money Personality influences your life and your decisions, the more prepared you are to dig into your Money Relationship and make it stronger.

1. There is no right Money Personality and no _______________ Money Personality.

2. Everyone has ________________ of the ________________ Money Personalities.

3. Everyone has a Primary and a __________________ Money Personality.

4. The five Money Personalities are:

#1 _______________________________________________

#2 _______________________________________________

#3 _______________________________________________

#4 _______________________________________________

#5 _______________________________________________

Notes:

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

INTERACTIVE DISCUSSION POINTS

1. Based on the information from the DVD session, identify your Primary and Secondary Money Personality:

Primary _______________________________________________

Secondary ____________________________________________

2. List a few reasons those Money Personalities seem to fi t you. Be sure to include both your Primary and Secondary Money Personalities.

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

3. How do you see these Money Personalities play out in other people you know?

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

WEEKLY ACTIVITY

This week you'll be digging in to your Money Personality so you have a better sense of how you think about money.

Day 1: Go to www.TheMoneyCouple.com and take the Money Personality Profile.

My Primary Money Personality is _____________________

My Secondary Money Personality is ___________________

Day 2: Today I noticed my Primary Money Personality when I:

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Day 3: Today I noticed my Secondary Money Personality when I:

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Day 4: Answer the following questions:

I like my Primary and Secondary Money Personalities because:

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

My Primary and Secondary Money Personalities can be a challenge because:

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Day 5: Come together: Describe your Money Personality to your partner. Give specific examples of how your Money Personalities drove decisions you made this week.

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Chapter Three

Session 3 The Opposite Dynamic

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. —Galatians 5:1

Once you know your Primary and Secondary Money Personality, you'll start noticing them playing out in all kinds of ways. If you're a Risk Taker, for example, you'll start to notice the little decisions you make every day that have an element of the unknown to them—checking out a new restaurant, pursuing a new business contact, trying a new recipe. If you're a Saver, you'll notice that you compare prices at the grocery store, or automatically head to the clearance rack when you're shopping.

But that's just your Primary Money Personality at work. Your Secondary Money Personality, while not as prominent as your Primary Money Personality, still impacts the way you view money. That's why there are Spenders who experience serious buyer's remorse and Flyers who retire as millionaires.

We've learned that there are certain combinations of Primary and Secondary Money Personalities that create something we call the Opposite Dynamic. The Opposite Dynamic is the internal conflict so many of us experience when our Primary and Secondary Money Personalities clash.

The Opposite Dynamic is the result of your Money Personalities having competing needs. That competition creates internal tension. And that tension can quickly creep into your Money Relationship. So we're going to take some time to break down this idea of the Opposite Dynamic so you can see how that internal tension might be seeping into your marriage.

1. Understanding who we are brings added _________ to the relationship.

2. We are going to look at what we call the "________________________ _______________________."

3. On the left side of the spectrum there are two Money Personalities:

____________________

____________________

4. On the right side of the spectrum there are three Money Personalities:

____________________

____________________

____________________

5. If your Primary and Secondary Money Personalities are on the opposite side of the spectrum you have an

"______________________ ______________________________."

Notes:

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

INTERACTIVE DISCUSSION POINTS

1. Confirm whether you have the Opposite Dynamic.

2. If you have the Opposite Dynamic, give an example. If you do NOT have the Opposite Dynamic, give an example.

_______________________________________________________

3. What challenges, if any, does the Opposite Dynamic create for you when it comes to money?

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

WEEKLY ACTIVITY

If you do have the Opposite Dynamic: For the next four days, write down examples of how this dynamic shows up in your money decisions.

If you don't have the Opposite Dynamic: For the next four days, write down examples of how not having this dynamic shows up in your money decisions.

Day 1: ____________________________________________________

Day 2: ____________________________________________________

Day 3: ____________________________________________________

Day 4: ____________________________________________________

Day 5: Come together: Share your examples from the week.

____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Chapter Four

Session 4 The Big Reveal

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." —Genesis 2:18

Knowing your Money Personality gives you huge insight into why you think the way you do about money. Knowing your spouse's Money Personality gives you huge insight into your spouse. And isn't that what makes relationships hum? Knowing each other, really getting what makes the other person tick?

That's why there's more to your Money Relationship than your financial plans. Every time you make a decision, you're bringing your perspective on life to the table. And nothing feels better than making decisions with someone who understands and respects your perspective.

If you've ever traveled someplace where they didn't speak the same language as you, you know how frustrating it can be to try to bridge the language barrier. But when you finally find someone who speaks your language, it's such a relief! You feel heard and understood.

The same thing happens when you and your spouse understand each other's Money Personalities. It's like you've learned how to speak the same language. And speaking your spouse's language is a great way to demonstrate your love and respect.

For so many couples, their Money Relationship is a tangle of false assumptions, old resentments, and constant blame. At the root of all of that is a misunderstanding of who the other person is and why he or she behaves a certain way. But when these couples discover their Money Personalities and take the time to really understand each other, they begin to see past those assumptions and resentments.

1. It is crucial to _______________ and _______________ your Money Personalities.

2. I am going to get to know my spouse's Money Personalities through The Big _________________________.

3. The greatest number of Money Personalities we could have in our relationship is ___________________.

Notes:

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

INTERACTIVE DISCUSSION POINTS

1. Write down your spouse's Money Personalities:

Primary _______________________________________________

Secondary ____________________________________________

2. Map your Big Reveal:

3. I am not surprised about our Big Reveal because:

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

4. I am surprised about our Big Reveal because:

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

5. How can God use your Money Personalities to strengthen your relationship?

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

WEEKLY ACTIVITY

Day 1: List five examples of positive attributes of your spouse's Primary Money Personality:

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Day 2: List five examples of positive attributes of your spouse's Secondary Money Personality:

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Day 3: Write down one example of a challenging attribute of your spouse's Primary and Secondary Money Personalities:

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Day 4: Complete these sentences.

I appreciate my spouse's Money Personality because:

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

I would appreciate my spouse acknowledging the following attribute of my Primary Money Personality:

____________________________________________________

I would appreciate my spouse acknowledging the following attribute of my Secondary Money Personality:

____________________________________________________

Day 5: Come together:

a. Tell your spouse five attributes of his or her Money Personalities.

b. Show appreciation of your spouse's Money Personalities by giving examples of how his or her Money Personalities help you as a person and as a couple.

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

c. Say to each other, "I would feel appreciated if you acknowledged _____________________ in regard to my Money Personalities."

(Continues...)



Excerpted from The 5 Money Personalities Guidebook by Scott Palmer Bethany Palmer Copyright © 2013 by Scott and Bethany Palmer. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction and Contents....................5
Session 1 Your Money Relationship....................7
Session 2 Getting to Know ME....................13
Session 3 The Opposite Dynamic....................19
Session 4 The Big Reveal....................23
Session 5 Opposites Attract....................29
Session 6 Your Money or Your Wife....................33
Session 7 Get to the Root....................37
Session 8 The Money Dump....................41
Session 9 The Money Huddle....................47
Session 10 Begin with the E.N.D. in Mind....................51
Session 11 Why We Fight....................55
Session 12 Stop, Drop, and Roll....................59
About the Authors....................63
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  • Posted January 16, 2013

    Money in any kind of relationship is always a sensitive area to

    Money in any kind of relationship is always a sensitive area to tread on and many couples in every relationship, either you have it or not is always an object of discussion. Who says love and money can not mix , who says you have to choose? According to the writer of this book "the Money Couple" knowing your personality towards money is a great tool for your relationship.




    I like the idea the writer has about your personality towards money,it is who you are,it is what make you. knowing yourself and knowing your spouse's stance toward money will save you a lot of heartache and bitterness towards your spouse. ....Unfortunately there are no Biblical reference in this book guess it was not written from a religious perspective, it a book every couple should have especially newly wed, (this should follow after you've read on how to be a better spouse)......




    One thing i was looking forward to, that the writer did not mention was that circumstances affect's your behavior towards money, and that you can be either or......and changes as one mature and as their life unfolds. Also your spouses behavior towards money can shape yours,which is a fact!!....it also seems there is a targeted audience this book was written for.......because if you are broke you only have One Money Personality "SURVIVAL"




    I received a copy of this book for review free from the publisher,i am not required to write a positive review, the opinion i express are my own.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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