The Five Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language

( 13 )

Overview

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the otherapproachesmoney.

Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple—from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons...

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Overview

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the otherapproachesmoney.

Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple—from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons feeling hurt and angry. It’s why money has become the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. Obviously, something needs to change. The reason this crisis has not been addressed is because it has never been identified, defined, or given a name. Scott and Bethany Palmer, aka “The Money Couple,” have identified and defined this problem and offer concrete solutions to fix it.

Once you know your Money Personality, you can get to the root of money arguments and start really working together. You’ll discover what has an impact on your loved one’s money decisions, and you’ll learn how to talk about money in a way that’s actually fun! You’ll figure out how to put an end to money secrets and lies once and for all.

It’s not just about money management, and it’s definitely not just about overcoming debt. It is a whole new way of living that will change everything in your relationship. Tens of thousands have already been transformed. Are you ready?

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780849964787
  • Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
  • Publication date: 1/1/2013
  • Pages: 208
  • Sales rank: 196,458
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.30 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author

Scott and Bethany Palmer, The Money Couple, have dedicated their lives to helping others strengthen their relationships with the 5 Money Personalities. With forty-three years of combined financial planning experience, they launched “The Money Couple” and are regulars on national TV and radio and speak internationally about love and money. Scott and Bethany enjoy an active lifestyle with their two young sons, Cole and Cade.
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Read an Excerpt

The 5 Money Personalities

Speaking the Same Love and Money Language
By Scott Palmer Bethany Palmer

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2013 Scott and Bethany Palmer
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-8499-6478-7


Chapter One

When Love and Money Collide

It all starts with the vows: for richer or poorer. We stand up at our weddings and recite those vows fully expecting that we will happily stand by each other, no matter what. We have big dreams about the life we're starting with this person we love so much.

Every marriage starts with big hopes and dreams. You walk down that aisle celebrating all the beautiful ways you connect as a couple, all those little moments of excitement and joy and intimacy and fun and love and goodness that have been the building blocks of your relationship. And for a while, those hopes and dreams and joys are enough to carry you through the adjustments of marriage.

And then life happens. It doesn't matter if things go along just as you planned or if your plans get derailed early on. The bottom line is that life, no matter how great it is, pushes a lot of our hopes and dreams to the side. You have jobs. You have kids. You buy a house. You lose a house. Your parents get older. You find yourselves stressed out by the present and worried about the future. And over time, through no fault of your own, those dreams you had for your life together get put on the back burner and, one by one, they start to dry up and disappear.

The dream to buy a house? Can't afford it. The dream of going back to school? Not with a baby on the way. The dream of backpacking through Europe? Can't get time off. The dream of retiring at the beach? Not after the market tanked. Whether your dreams are big or small, they tend to fade as the years go by.

Ellen and Jack are a perfect example. When they got married, Ellen was working her way toward a partnership at a small law firm. Jack was a graphic designer and had dreams of starting his own design business. Right away, they started saving so Jack would have some start-up capital when the time came to set out on his own. They had a five-year plan and a common goal. But after they'd been married for two years, Ellen was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Her doctor recommended she cut back her hours at work and try to reduce the stressors in her life. While they had good health insurance through Ellen's job, they still had new expenses to deal with that put a dent in their savings. And that meant Jack's dream would have to wait a bit longer.

As Ellen's illness became more manageable, the job market became less stable. It no longer seemed like a good idea for Jack to venture out on his own, especially when he knew plenty of designers who would do anything for a regular job like the one he wanted to leave. So they waited a little longer.

You can see how this will play out, right? Pretty soon five years have passed. And then they have kids, and then ten years have gone by and the kids need braces or they want to buy a bigger house or Jack's mom dies and his dad moves in with them. After a while, the dreams of those early days just die off.

Now Jack and Ellen would be the first to tell you that they have a great life, that they've made choices they feel good about, and that they are blessed beyond measure. But they also admit that they miss dreaming about the future together. Ellen says, "When we got married, I remember talking about how fantastic it would be for Jack to have his own company and really make his mark in the design world. His eyes would light up when we talked about it. Now most of our conversations are like business meetings—who's doing what and when. I know he wouldn't trade our life now for anything, but I'd sure like to see that look in his eyes again."

There's something life-giving about dreaming together as a couple. It's a reminder that you are stronger together than you are apart. It's a way of saying to your spouse, "I look forward to the future with you."

If you've lost track of the dreams you used to have, we believe you can get them back. We believe you can reclaim the life you envisioned, one dream at a time.

The Money Part

There's a reason we take vows to stick together for richer or poorer. Money ripples into every part of our lives as couples. That's why, whether you have it or you don't, money can test a relationship. If you think about the dreams you had when you got married, most of them have some kind of money component—buying a house, having children, getting a job, moving to a new city, traveling, spending time with friends. Money doesn't equal happiness, but money does play a part in whether our dreams turn into reality. And when money gets between us and our dreams, we get very unhappy and look for someone to blame. And guess who's sitting right there? Yep, our spouses.

We meet with all kinds of couples. And there's a look we see that shows up in couples who have lost their dreams for what their marriage could be. It doesn't matter if they're rich or poor. It doesn't matter if they've been married for forty years or four months. It doesn't matter if they argue constantly about money or if they never talk about money. They sit in our office and barely talk to each other, barely look at each other. When they do speak, their words are filled with blame and resentment and anger. And it's all because life hasn't turned out the way they'd hoped it would.

They come to us because they believe that having a better budget will help. They hope that if they invest some money in just the right ways, they can have that retirement house they dreamed of. But their budget isn't really the issue. We can hand them a budget that's airtight, but if they don't know how to communicate with each other, if they don't know how to work together as they live within that budget, then it doesn't matter how nice their plans are. Their relationship will sink.

Most couples have no idea how to talk to each other about the money component of a decision. They don't know how to compromise or listen to each other or make plans that meet both of their needs. Instead, they fight. They blame each other. They resent each other and hurt each other and hide money from each other. And then they divorce each other.

Reviving Your Dreams

It doesn't have to be that way. Here's the thing: every decision you make as a couple involves money. Every. Single. One. Money factors into everything from the kind of house you live in to where you go on vacation, from the kind of shampoo you use to the kind of bread you eat. It doesn't matter if we're talking about a $5 cup of coffee or a $50,000 car—money is part of every piece of our lives.

That's why couples who disagree about money will disagree about everything.

That combination of love and money is what makes up your Money Relationship. Just like your physical relationship is about much more than sex, and your emotional relationship is about far more than your feelings, your Money Relationship involves a whole lot more than your money. It's about how and why you connect—or don't—when you make decisions where money is involved. It's the deeper set of assumptions and beliefs you bring to your money decisions.

We created this book to help couples stop fighting about money and repair their Money Relationship, regardless of their financial situation. We want to change the way you communicate about money. We want to give you practical, efficient, easy-to-remember, easy-to-apply tools to help you build a stronger Money Relationship. But more than anything else, we want to rekindle your passion for the future—and for each other.

When you started dating, you couldn't help but dream together. You were so excited to learn about each other, to discover your sweetheart's favorite food or most embarrassing moment. You wanted nothing more than to know and understand each other. You could talk for hours, dreaming of the life you'd build together. This is the day to start dreaming again. We believe that every couple can recover the love, intimacy, and dreams they had when they first fell in love.

MAKE IT HAPPEN

Recapture that desire to discover new things about your spouse. Take turns telling each other one thing the other person might not know about you, even after years of being together.

Chapter Two

Your Money Relationship

We're going to start by really digging into this idea of a Money Relationship. It's kind of ironic that most of the couples we work with have no idea they have a Money Relationship, even though they have come to us to talk about their money and how it's affecting their relationship. It just doesn't occur to people that the way they deal with money as individuals will play into the way they deal with money as a couple.

Instead, couples tend to think that if they just get a really great financial plan in place, they'll stop arguing about money. They think that if they can stick with a budget or get enough put away for retirement or start building their savings that their money problems will be over. But they're wrong. They can fix the budget, stock up for retirement, even load up the savings account and still have a lousy Money Relationship. And what good is the budget if you can't stand each other? What good is that retirement fund or that savings account if your relationship is a mess?

What It's Not

Your Money Relationship has nothing to do with your budget. It has nothing to do with your savings. It has nothing to do with how much debt you have or how much you spend every month. That's your financial arrangement—your debt, retirement, taxes, insurance, investing, estate planning, and so on.

Your Money Relationship is about the daily decisions you make as a couple in which money is involved. (We even put it in italics to show you how important it is!)

Before we move on, we want you to really understand the difference between your finances and your Money Relationship. Your financial plans, your debt, your investments, your taxes, your budget—that's one aspect of your life together. And that's not what this book is about. We want to focus on the relationship behind that part of your life, your Money Relationship. That's the part of your marriage that involves all of those little day-to-day decisions about money.

Here's what we mean: Jonell and Kai have been married for fourteen years. They make a fairly good living; he's an accountant at a hospital and she does fund-raising for a small nonprofit organization. They have owned their modest house for eight years. They have a bit of student loan debt left to pay off and one car payment. They tend to use credit cards to pay for nearly everything, but they pay off their cards almost every month. Kai has a 401(k) through work, but they haven't thought all that much about their retirement funds. Their main financial goal right now is to put aside a decent amount of money to help their two children pay for college.

We've given you a pretty good picture of Kai and Jonell's financial situation. You know they have some debt, some savings goals, some money in a retirement fund. You have the basics on their financial life. But those details tell you nothing about their Money Relationship.

When it comes to their Money Relationship, Kai and Jonell have some real challenges. Kai, the accountant, is obviously good at balancing a budget and figuring out where to save and where to spend. So he handles all of the finances in their marriage. Jonell, despite being in a finance-oriented field herself, isn't all that interested in how much they bring in each month or how much they pay out each month. She knows Kai has it taken care of and she doesn't think twice about it.

But Kai worries about their money constantly. Every evening, he looks over their online credit card account to see how much they spent that day. He lies awake, silently calculating where they can cut back to make sure they pay off the bill that month. Those rare months when they have to settle for a minimum or partial payment feel like a failure to him.

If Jonell buys a new outfit for a fund-raising event, Kai mentally cancels his plans to take her out for a nice dinner later that week and quietly resents Jonell for pushing their monthly budget to its limits. He worries that they won't have enough for their retirement, much less enough to help the kids with college. He's considered talking to Jonell about his concerns, but he knows she gets defensive when they talk about money. So he keeps his worry to himself.

While their financial picture is perfectly healthy, their Money Relationship is anything but. He's a wreck, she's clueless, and neither of them has any idea that this is a crisis in the making. It won't be long before Kai either explodes at Jonell for her spending or develops an ulcer from worrying about it. And Jonell doesn't get a free pass here. Her willingness to wash her hands of the family finances isn't a sign of trust; it's a sign of disrespect for Kai. Why should he bear the full weight of decisions that have an impact on the whole family?

Most couples have no idea that there's a difference between their finances and their Money Relationship. So when they try to solve financial problems that are really the result of a troubled Money Relationship, they end up frustrated. Unless couples get to the root of the problem—the challenges in their Money Relationship—they just can't move forward.

We worked with a couple who had been married for more than forty years and had been clients with our financial planning company for most of those years. One afternoon, they came in for an appointment and announced they were getting a divorce.

All their financial plans were in place and had been for a long time. But behind those perfect plans were resentment and hurt feelings and misunderstanding. The problem was that they never understood that they thought about money in very different ways. So every decision they made in those forty-plus years just added another straw of resentment to the proverbial camel's back. Their plans were solid but their relationship had fallen apart.

They had plenty of money and they'd managed it fairly well. The problem? She thought they needed more money in their retirement accounts and he didn't. She'd been anxious about their future for years and had nagged him about putting more away. But he thought they'd be fine and had stopped listening to her concerns a long time ago. The closer they got to retirement, the more anxious she became until she couldn't take it anymore and she bailed.

On the surface, their impending divorce was the result of poor financial planning. But it wasn't their assets that were the problem. It was their total lack of communication. We've never seen a couple break up over their 401(k) performance. We've never seen a couple get divorced because they didn't have enough life insurance or because their estate planning wasn't complete or because they didn't pay off their student loans in less than five years. What kills relationships is miscommunication and misunderstanding. That's especially true when it comes to money because, as we've said, it has an impact on every aspect of life.

We often ask couples to tell us about the last money decision they made. Most of them come up with some investment or a savings plan or a big purchase. But when we ask them to think smaller, they start to see that they are dealing with money almost from the moment they wake up.

Think about it. Do you take a long shower or a moneysaving short shower? Coffee at home or a fancy coffee from the place on your way to work? Generic cereal or the name-brand stuff? Drive to work or take public transportation? Bag lunch or out to eat? Squeeze in some overtime or go back home to the family?

If you and your spouse have fundamental disagreements about money—how much to spend, how much to save, how much risk is too much—then each of those little, seemingly innocent decisions about hot water and coffee and lunch are fraught with meaning. Take a long shower when your spouse is trying to cut back on the utilities and you've just created a problem. Grab breakfast at the fast-food joint when you've agreed to an eat-at-home budget and you've stirred the hornet's nest.

Because money trickles down to just about every decision we make during the day, it's not surprising that couples clash over money. It's like a constant pop quiz, one you're bound to fail unless you and your spouse have a strong Money Relationship.

Breaking the Cycle

What we see over and over again is couples who are caught up in a cycle of assumptions, misunderstanding, and blame. It doesn't matter if they have a healthy bank account or are deep in debt. Because money isn't the problem. Their Money Relationship is the problem.

It took us years to see this, not only in our marriage, but in our work. We'd been in the financial planning business for a decade before we realized that something wasn't working. We'd meet with couples, put together airtight financial plans for them, and still see them fighting, stressing out, and even divorcing because of their financial issues. And we didn't get it. We thought that once we gave them a plan, their conflict would go away. But it didn't.

That's when we realized there was something else going on. It wasn't the money itself that created these issues. It was that couples had no idea how to talk about money in a way that helped them work together to build the future they'd always dreamed of. We'd been focusing on the "how" behind their money plans instead of the "why."

What we didn't realize is that it's not enough to have your financial ducks in a row. You need to know why you think about and deal with money the way you do. And that's what this book is all about.

Think about the last time you and your spouse argued about money. For most couples, those arguments are rarely about the money itself. Instead, they are about deeper relationship issues like trust and respect and connection.

Take Mitch and Karen, for example. Mitch loves his coffee. Loves it. If he can't start his morning with a twenty-ounce double shot from his favorite coffee shop, his whole day is off. But Karen doesn't understand why Mitch would pay almost six bucks a day to feed his habit when she brews a great pot of coffee at home every morning for pennies. She's tired of watching Mitch spend more than $100 a month on something she sees as totally unnecessary. One morning she lets him know he needs to cut back.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from The 5 Money Personalities by Scott Palmer Bethany Palmer Copyright © 2013 by Scott and Bethany Palmer . Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction: How Ninety Days Can Change Your Life xi

Part 1 It's All About the Money Personalities

Chapter 1 When Love and Money Collide 3

Chapter 2 Your Money Relationship 11

Chapter 3 Getting to Know Me: The Five Money Personalities 23

Chapter 4 The Opposite Dynamic 53

Chapter 5 The Big Reveal: The Five Money Personalities Together 61

Chapter 6 Opposites Attract 75

Part 2 The Heart of the Matter

Chapter 7 Your Money or Your Wife 93

Chapter 8 The Roots of Financial Infidelity 101

Chapter 9 The Money Dump 115

Chapter 10 The Money Huddle 125

Chapter 11 Begin with the E.N.D. 133

Part 3 Reclaiming Your Marriage

Chapter 12 Why We Fight 147

Chapter 13 How to Fight Fair 159

Conclusion: A Million Dreams 167

Appendix: The 5 Money Personalities Survival Guide 171

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 14 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2013

    Who doesn't like to take quizzes that reveal hidden parts of the

    Who doesn't like to take quizzes that reveal hidden parts of themselves?  I know I do, and it is even more fun when you can also have your spouse take a quiz that reveals a bit about them too.  I appreciate how the book starts with how to determine your money personality...once you know it, you are chuckling through the whole book as the authors share their personal stories.  It is also nice to know that we are not alone, to know that all couples have some form of conflict when it comes to money and the fact that it is not because one spouse is better than the other, it is because we are all different!  I appreciate how the authors desire to help people embrace their money personality, their spouses money personality and the money personalities of those around them!  It has really opened my eyes to the "tango" that many of us have with money and WHY.  I love the whys.  Thank you two for such an insightful, fun read!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 2, 2013

    What a great book and a wonderful resource for couples young and

    What a great book and a wonderful resource for couples young and old.
    Scott and Bethany have really caught on to an aspect of relationships that has been ignored too long. Both the internal opposite dynamic and the inter-couple opposite dynamic explains much about how we approach money both as an individual and as a couple.

    Setting up the book to be read by each person over the course of 90 days has multiple benefits. As noted by the authors, it really does take 90 days for a new habit to become a base part of your personality. Also, by not allowing yourself just to decide what your spouse's Money Personality is for them, each person "owns" their own personality and starts to prevent their spouse from just assuming how the other is thinking. This is continued by later "Make It Happen" homework assignments that lead each spouse to start thinking of the relationship in new ways - breaking old, destructive habits. By the time you reach the Money Dump and the Money Huddle, you are ready to take full advantage of them.

    How to Fight Fair and the "Five Money Personalities Survival Guide" are must reading for all in a committed relationship that they want to keep for the long term. A really easy to read book that should become a before marriage counseling tool, as well as a key tool for nurturing your relationship for the long term.
    GREAT JOB!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 19, 2013

    Scott and Bethany Palmer have impacted my life with thoughts and

    Scott and Bethany Palmer have impacted my life with thoughts and wisdom that I will take to my grave! I have never seen a book like this on the market, and appreciate their approach to merely educate and make the readers and their spouses more aware of themselves. I have been able to guide so many others that are struggling with ANYTHING in life just from some of their suggestions. The principles they teach, well, EVERYONE should have a chance to hear about The Money Couple! 

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 9, 2013

    f I were to describe The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Sam

    f I were to describe The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language in one word, I would have to use the word "eye-opening."

    I was a bit surprised at how much the book focuses on the clashes many couples have in regards to money. When I requested this book, I didn't really expect that but, in the introduction, the authors state that "this book is not a guide to managing your money" (p.xiv), saying that there are many other books out there to help you set a budget and manage your finances. This book was written to help couples who just can't seem to meet in the middle when it comes to finances.

    This book works off the basis of 5 money personalities, which are outlined in the book. It is designed to be worked through as a couple, each chapter having a practical "to do" segment at the end. If you just don't understand where your partner is coming from in terms of financial decisions that are made, the chapter explaining how the different personalities relate to each other would be helpful to you.

    I would highly recommend this book to any couple who is having any sort of financial trouble at all, whether that be mountains of debt or not being able to understand each others' spending (or penny-pinching) habits. It really opens your eyes to see that everyone is created differently and everyone deals with money differently. No personality is "wrong"...each has their upside and downside, and the key is learning to work together as a team, despite having differing opinions on finances.

    If you don't feel like money is a huge issue in your relationship, then you probably don't need this book. While it WAS an interesting read, if you're looking for a book to help you become more efficient in saving or to help you set (and stick to!) a budget, there are other resources out there that could be more helpful to you.

    I received this book from Thomas Nelson's Booksneeze blog reviewers program. I am under no obligation to provide a positive review.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 6, 2013

    more from this reviewer

    A lot to think about, nearly everyone can relate

    This review first appeared on my blog, Cozy Little Book Journal.

    I'm not one who reads a lot of self-help books, particularly those aimed at couples. I find the advice is usually so general (because it has to be if it's going to apply to everybody) that I could figure it out on my own, or else it's specific but certainly not specific to me (i.e. it makes assumptions about my religion, philosophy or goals). A lot of them just seem like gimmicks.

    But The 5 Money Personalities is a little different. Everyone can relate to money. Everyone sharing a household and sharing expenses has to figure out how to make money decisions together. And a lot of us feel intimidated by the prospect.

    The 5 Money Personalities is not a financial planning guide. It's not there to chastise you for the poor financial decisions you've made in the past, nor to tell you what investments to make in the future. It's a book for couples--or anyone who shares finances with someone else--to help take stock of the decisions we make and why, and to understand why our partners may make very different decisions.

    Scott and Bethany Palmer explain that there are five basic "money personalities"--the spender, the saver, the risk taker, the security seeker and the flyer--and that each of us displays one or more of these personality traits when making decisions about money. So, see? I'm not cheap. I'm a saver! My partner isn't irresponsible. He's a spender! The book encourages couples to understand and appreciate each other's differences so they can work together (rather than just calling each other "cheap" or "irresponsible," for instance).

    Scott and Bethany Palmer refer to themselves as "the Money Couple," a trade-marked term that is also the name of their website. Several times throughout the book the reader is directed to go to their website for more information on a topic. I wouldn't mind that so much except for the fact that the money personality quiz--arguably the most important part of the book--was something you could only do online. Is this really something they couldn't have included in the book itself? It seemed like kind of a jerk move to make readers go to the website in order to fully understand the book. Also, if they're so committed to the book directing readers back and forth from the website, perhaps they should consider adding QR codes so people can access it directly from their smart phones (like the new edition of Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life).

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 18, 2013

    I understand from the book description that it is a self-help bo

    I understand from the book description that it is a self-help book for couples experiencing money troubles.
    I was just expecting something more, you know, like providing budget, saving and financial advices. Well,
    the authors only explained the money personalities which I didn't really get or I was just too bored reading
    through it to understand. I'm also not impressed with the author's relationship advices, they were just regular
    advices I'd get from friends. The book didn't work for me, found myself skimming through so I could be done
    reading this. 

    If you are looking for a financial book, like how to budget, manage, save money, etc., do not pick up this book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 8, 2013

    Big issue for a lot of couples - useful ideas for how to talk ab

    Big issue for a lot of couples - useful ideas for how to talk about money together.  Developing trust in this area helps avoid many future problems.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 25, 2013

    My wife and I both enjoyed this book. And not only did we enjoy

    My wife and I both enjoyed this book. And not only did we enjoy the read ... we appreciated the learning that went along with it. Unlike most couples, we both share the same money personality primary and secondary types. Which means that we seldom, if ever, disagree about money. What a blessing. Understanding your money personality type is helpful in not only understanding how you think about money, but understanding how you think about a lot of other areas in your life as well.

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  • Posted April 23, 2013

    It was so great to read a money book that goes beyond just the n

    It was so great to read a money book that goes beyond just the numbers and making budgets. With finances being one of the biggest reasons for divorce, I really enjoyed their take on the relational aspect of money between my wife and me. We are generally on the same page when it comes to how we spend our money, but that doesn’t mean we don’t ever fight about it. This book is full of great advice and practical ways to help when those situations do arise. We are now able to understand each other’s money personalities and start off on a better foot when we don’t see eye to eye on the next money disagreement. I highly recommend this to anyone that is married or planning to get married.

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  • Posted April 14, 2013

    more from this reviewer

    I quite agree with authors' augments about the importance of und

    I quite agree with authors' augments about the importance of understanding other people behaviour in money management. Initially, I was looking for ways to improve my financial intelligent in terms of earning, investing or managing money. It turns out I was directed by myself in a wrong way because the ultimate goal to be wealthy or financial freedom is to let us to have time to do the things we like to do.

    Money never solves a problem. A problem that can be solved by money is no longer a problem. I believe it is true because many the rich still struggles in their life and relationships.


    Understanding, on the other hand, can reduce conflicts, and ultimately eliminates problems in our life. Indeed, I have many such experiences to turn problems into challenges by understanding their hidden or invisible mechanism. For example, if we understand that die is an uncontrollable nature process, then we will always be very peace of mind to face it without worry or frustration. This happens on our relationship as well. If you have a relationship problem, I encourage you (both of you) to understand your money personalities (that is, the way you use your money) first.

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  • Posted April 10, 2013

    It seems like there are 5 different personality types for every


    It seems like there are 5 different personality types for everything these days... or maybe just love and money... this book was
     all about the five different money personality types. Written by a married couple, this book talks about how we all have a different
    type of relationship with money, and we all deal with it differently. The authors help us to understand our money personality, and
    learn how to work with our spouse and their own money personality.


    I enjoyed the insight I gained from this book. It helped me to really understand not only why I might handle money the way I do, but also
     how to take control of spending. It was also helpful in understanding my husband's relationship with money.
     I grew up in a household that spent money, whereas he grew up in a household that saved money, leaving us
     on opposite ends of the spectrum. I feel like the authors of this book really hit home in helping us to bring our experiences
    together and work as a team on our finances.


    I would recommend this book to new couples, old couples, couples who are engaged, and even singles who want to
     gain more knowledge of where they might be at in dealing with money. It was full of insight, and it was also understandable
    for someone like myselfwho really has no background in accounting and is horrible at math.

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  • Posted March 14, 2013

    My wife and I read The 5 Money Personalities together and though

    My wife and I read The 5 Money Personalities together and thought the book was a refreshing approach to finances. The book is centered around the same idea as the infamous book, The 5 Love Languages except it helps a couple identify each of their own money language: Saver, Spender, Risk Taker, Security Seeker, and Flyer. After 20 years of marriage WE think this idea about helping couples discover their money language is brilliant. WE wish we would have had a book like this when we first got married.
    Since two of the most common reasons for divorce is money and communication, authors Scott and Bethany Palmer do a superb job in killing two birds with one stone by bringing fresh insight and understanding to our money relationship with our spouse. I will not promise that this book will come without tense moments, but we had a few laughs together as well because this book definitely “reads your mail.” I think this is another great tool pastors and churches can use helping people when it comes to the topic of money!
    I received this book free in exchange for my review from Booksneeze. I was drawn to it because I had been recently counseling a young couple that are continually arguing over finances. Tomorrow I’m giving the book to them!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 3, 2013

    So much is written about how to save, how to invest, how to budg

    So much is written about how to save, how to invest, how to budget, etc.. It's nice to get some guidance on the relationship aspect of money. It is guidance we can all use.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 24, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

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