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The Flirty Text Message Helper: A Collection Of Witty Texts For Clever People [NOOK Book]

The Flirty Text Message Helper: A Collection Of Witty Texts For Clever People

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From Mike Alvear, The Co-Host Of HBO'S International Hit TV Series, The Sex Inspectors…

A Collection Of Witty, Flirty Pre-Written Texts You Can Send Your Crush!

Can't think of anything creative to text that cutie you just met? Try one of the witty texts hand-picked by Mike's team of writers and researchers.

Classified by 19 dating circumstances, there are no cliches, lame poems or cheesy pickup lines. These are real texts we've tested on guys and girls.

For example:

You: STOP.
Likely reply: Stop what?

You: Stop thinking about me. See, you’re doing it…right now.

Use our texts for other situations, too. Let's say you want to make the other person jealous. Try this:

You: You would NOT believe what happened to me last night!
Likely reply:What?
You: Oh, crap! Wrong person!

What if you just want to make somebody smile with a clever text? Try this:

"I renamed my iPod ‘The Titanic’ so when I plug it in it to my computer it says, “The Titanic is Syncing.”

Or if you want to pay them a teasing compliment? Try this:

You: “This cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat cutie cat busy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat!
Likely reply:???

With The Flirty Text Message Helper you'll never write another boring text again!
And because our texts are categorized by 19 common dating situations you'll find the perfect texts for your particular situation:

1. You Don’t Know How Interested They Are So You Want To Start Slow
2. You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Flirty
3. You want to make them laugh.
4. Cute Ways Of Saying Hello After You’ve Texted a Couple of Times
5. Cute Ways of Saying Goodbye
6. Clever Questions That Make You More Interesting For Asking.
7. You Want To Play Hard To Get (Cocky Funny)
8. “Unclogger” Texts: Getting Him Or Her To Text You Back
9. Clever Questions To Ask When You Don’t Know How To Start A New Thread
10. You Want To Be Seen As Fun & Wacky
11. You Want To Be Seen As A Partier
12. Teasing: Taking The Hot Girl Or Guy Down A Peg Or Two
13. Insults: Mowing Down The Hot Girl Or Guy
14. You Want To Step It Up To A Phone Call
15. Dirty Flirty: You’ve had sex
16. Filthy Dirty: Texts That Would Scare Your Mom
17. You’re falling in love
18. You screwed up
19. Fun Phrases

The Flirty Text Message Helper Helps You Impress The People Who Impressed You!
Download It Today. Use It Tonight!
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Product Details

  • BN ID: 2940014064194
  • Publisher: Woodpecker Media
  • Publication date: 1/27/2012
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 362,871
  • File size: 446 KB

Meet the Author

Mike Alvear co-hosted the first sex makeover series on TV, The Sex Inspectors, which aired in 12 countries (HBO in the U.S., Channel 4 in England). He's the author of two other sex books: Men Are Pigs But You Love Bacon (Kensington) and Sex Inspectors Master Class: How To Have An Amazing Sex Life (Penguin, based on the TV series).
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 5 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Posted December 15, 2011

    A Reference Guide For Funny, Flirty Texts

    I consider myself a pretty clever guy but when I meet somebody who renders me speechless my thumbs start to stutter on the keyboard. So, I use this collection of texts A LOT but oddly, not in the way the author intended. I belong to like, 4 different dating sites, and if you really want to stand out you can't just say "Hi." So I just flip to the right section of this collection and pull out something clever. One of my favorites as an opening line: "Which Starbucks do you prefer?" I get lots of laughs and good responses from that.

    This book is like a reference guide--I keep referring back to it, depending on what situation I'm in. I literally have it open when I go online (!!). The only reason I don't give it 5 stars is that there are only like 350 texts. Seems to be there should be a lot more. Still, some of the texts are truly hysterical.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 9, 2013



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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 13, 2013

    ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

    It is a book dnot get this book 0,09

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 26, 2012


    It actually works!!!! Read It NOW !!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted December 15, 2011

    Funny Texts That Maximize Responses

    I haven't tried this on anybody I've been romantically interested (I'm a loser--I'm on dry streak so bad my fantasies just want to be friends). But I have tried them on friends, acquaintances and some family (A lot of the texts aren't necessarily romantic. For example: "Jambo Jambo" in the Greetings Section is "Hello" in Swahili). Anyway, they're very engaging and it's amazing how it opens up communication. Can't wait for the second edition.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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