The Gender Communication Handbook: Conquering Conversational Collisions between Men and Women

Table of Contents

Exercises and Tables xi

Preface xv

Acknowledgments xix

The Authors xxi

Introduction 1

CHAPTER 1 Getting Started: Are Men and Women Just Born Different or Do They Learn to Be Different? 7

Learning Objectives 7

Introduction 8

Section 1: Introduction to Gender: It’s Complicated 10

Section 2: What Do Women and Men Really Think of Each Other? 19

Section 3: Transcending Gender: The Androgynous Answer 23

CHAPTER 2 He Speaks, She Speaks: What Different Things They Say 35

Learning Objectives 35

Introduction 36

Section 1: Talk the Talk: Facts and Fiction About Sex Differences in Speech Communication 37

Section 2: Different Speech Styles, Outcomes, and Missed Connections 48

Action Steps for Men 62

Action Steps for Women 63

CHAPTER 3 Gender Conversation Technicalities: Interruptions, Overlapping, and Other Turn-Taking Dilemmas 65

Learning Objectives 65

Introduction 66

Section 1: How He and She Interrupt and Overlap Their Talk 67

Section 2: Women’s and Men’s Perspectives: Other and Self 77

Action Steps for Men 85

Action Steps for Women 86

CHAPTER 4 Women, Men, and Unspoken Messages 87

Learning Objectives 87

Introduction 88

Section 1: Unspoken Gender Messages 88

Section 2: Gender Touch and Power at Work 101

Section 3: Space: The Final Gender Frontier 115

Section 4: Something in the Way She and He Move: Women’s and Men’s Gestures and Movements 123

The Voice’s Message 130

Action Steps for Men 132

Action Steps for Women 133

CHAPTER 5 How She and He Listen 135

Learning Objectives 135

Introduction 136

Section 1: Listening Between Him and Her 137

Section 2: Women and Men Do Listen Differently 149

Section 3: Improved Listening Skills for Women and Men 160

Action Steps for Men 169

Action Steps for Women 170

CHAPTER 6 Men, Women, and Conflict: Take It Like a Man Versus Nice Girls Don’t Do Conflict 171

Learning Objectives 171

Introduction 172

Section 1: The Playground as Battleground 173

Section 2: Nice Girls Don’t Do Confl ict 188

Section 3: Play Fighting 190

Section 4: The Anger Advantage 194

Rule Makers and Rule Breakers: Is There a Double Standard in Expressing Anger? 202

Section 5: Crying as a Female Trademark 205

Action Steps for Men 215

Action Steps for Women 216

CHAPTER 7 He and She Wired 217

Learning Objectives 217

Introduction 218

Section 1: He and She: The Smiley Face Dilemma 219

How and Why He and She Use Emoticons 223

Section 2: E-Mail Showdown: One Sentence Versus One Paragraph 228

Section 3: Why Can’t He Be Nice? 232

Section 4: Can E-Mail Level the Playing Field for Women? 236

Action Steps for Men 239

Action Steps for Women 240

CHAPTER 8 Final Thoughts on Reaching

Across the Gender Divide 241

Learning Objectives 241

Introduction 242

Options for Closing the Training Program 242

Action Plan and Next Steps 256

CHAPTER 9 Example One-Hour Program 263

Learning Objectives 263

Introduction 264

Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 264

Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication Between Men and Women 267

CHAPTER 10 A Half-Day Program 271

Learning Objectives 271

Introduction 272

Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 272

Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication Between Men and Women 276

CHAPTER 11 A Full-Day Program 281

Learning Objectives 281

Introduction 282

Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 283

Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication

Between Men and Women 289

Additional Instruments and Training Tools 297

Recommended Resources 305

References 307

Index 313