The Gift of Hurt

( 4 )


The Gift of Hurt is a non-fiction modern-day story that is set in a Midwestern town. The main characters are middle class citizens, Ellie and Matt Jameson and affluent psychologists, Ann and Dr. Smith. This melodrama explodes after Ellie Jameson’s husband is kidnapped. When Matt Jameson is found safe, after being stuffed into the trunk of a car for nineteen hours, the couple mistakenly believes that all their troubles have ended. Unfortunately, the residual affects of the kidnapping hideously creep up on Matt and...

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The Gift of Hurt is a non-fiction modern-day story that is set in a Midwestern town. The main characters are middle class citizens, Ellie and Matt Jameson and affluent psychologists, Ann and Dr. Smith. This melodrama explodes after Ellie Jameson’s husband is kidnapped. When Matt Jameson is found safe, after being stuffed into the trunk of a car for nineteen hours, the couple mistakenly believes that all their troubles have ended. Unfortunately, the residual affects of the kidnapping hideously creep up on Matt and Ellie forcing them to seek professional help.

Things go terribly awry as Ellie’s graduate-student therapist, Ann, inadvertently triggers memories of abuse and loss from Ellie’s past. As she begins regurgitating her repulsive childhood memories, she cautiously reaches out to Ann and surprisingly revels in what she believes is a special bond between them. She is certain that with Ann’s help the demons that have been locked up in her subconscious, for almost four decades, can finally be reckoned with and discarded. Vulnerable, open and fragile, like a fresh bloody wound, Ellie is devastated when Ann terminates therapy to do an out of state internship. Ellie struggles to stop the termination process and to see Ann just one more time. Within that deadly struggle is a journey of self-exploration that slowly turns into an uncontrollable ride into madness.

Along that treacherous roller coaster ride, you will meet Ellie’s new therapist, Dr. Smith. You will witness Dr. Smith’s efforts to save Ellie from her mode of crash and burn. In her attempts to counsel Ellie and help her deal with Ann’s rejection, Dr. Smith frequently skirts the code of professional ethics and in doing so inadvertently distresses Ellie further.

Close to the book’s conclusion you will see the madness escalate. With all hope for any sort of quality life or happiness waning, Ellie, while innocently brushing her teeth, looks hard and deep in the mirror. She stops. She looks at herself again, more closely this time. She begins to cry at what she has become and the hurt she has caused everyone. She prays. Something she hasn’t done for years. She vows to take control of her illness and no longer allows it to control her. At its conclusion you will understand that without experiencing the gift of hurt, Ellie would never have realized her potential and reached heights she never thought possible. You will understand too, that without the gift of hurt, Ellie would never have experienced the joy of loving, connecting, and developing emotional intimacy with people.

About the Author:

Pamela Crabtree is a nationally published author living in Holland, OH. Pam has been married to Fred since 1966. That union produced four children, Patrick, Amy (Robert) Gibson, Tod, and Eric. They are also the grandparents of Zachary and Blake Gibson.

Pam is currently studying for her Masters degree at The University of Toledo. The Gift of Hurt is her first book and she is uniquely qualified to have written it since she has lived every moment of it.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780759627604
  • Publisher: AuthorHouse
  • Publication date: 7/28/2001
  • Pages: 148
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.34 (d)

Read an Excerpt

It was a magnificent-looking piece of hardware. Actually, it was quite beautiful with its polished wooden veneer and its slim black barrel. After taking the shotgun out of the case, I familiarized myself with its mechanics. I opened the bolt and saw the empty chamber. I closed it, cocked it, and slowly pulled it close to my cheek. I looked through the sight, aimed at the wall, and ever so slowly pulled the trigger.

I poured myself another drink and remembered that there was a shotgun shell in the top drawer of Matt’s bureau. As a sense of relief engulfed my body, I headed for our bedroom. After rummaging through Matt’s bureau, I came up empty. I started a search of the house that spanned five rooms and dozens of drawers and cabinets. "There’s got to be a shell somewhere in this Goddamn house," I muttered.

In a moment of coherence and what I perceived as a weakness, I thought of Ann and called the Psychology Clinic hoping to find her there. No one answered. I desperately needed to talk with her. In retrospect, that was the first time in my life that I deliberately reached out to someone for help. After admonishing myself for trying to call her, I resumed searching for the shell.

If I could find it, I would be in control of my destiny. I would become my own comforter, my own executioner. Thoughts of my family and friends were as distant as the tiniest star on a clear summer night. After the futile search, the house looked as if it had been ransacked by burglars.

While fixing another drink, I plotted a second plan for the next day. That plan would entail using my lunch hour to purchase shells from the gun store just minutes away from our home. Before buying the shells, however, I stopped at the local bar for a shot of courage. After downing the drink, I drove across the street and nonchalantly entered the gun store. I asked for shotgun shells and was shown many different kinds. I saw a shotgun that looked similar to Matt’s and purchased a box of compatible shells. I hid the shells in the glove compartment of my car under some oil receipts.

When the clock struck five, I dashed out of my office and headed home. When I pulled into my driveway, I was relieved because no other cars were there. I would be alone. I grabbed the box of shells, went in the house, and fixed myself a drink. I slipped one of my favorite CDs into the player and listened as Richard Harris sang "McArthur Park." I listened to another selection by Harris that was poignantly titled "In the Final Hours." I picked up the box of shells, shotgun, and my drink and sat on the floor in back of the sofa in the family room.

I opened the chamber of the gun and inserted the first shell. When I inserted the second shell and tried to pull the bolt shut, it would not close. I tried again and again, pushing and pulling, harder each time, but the bolt would not close. I removed the shells and tried inserting them in a different way--still no luck.

"You bought the wrong shells. You f------ idiot," I snarled to myself.

I decided to initiate a final plan. With that plan I would take Matt’s shotgun to the gun store and ask the clerk to assist me with the purchase of the correct shells. As an added backup and to prevent a foul-up like the day before, I would con someone into showing me how to load the weapon.

I waited until it was dark and everyone was asleep. I lifted the gun and gently placed it in the trunk of my car. Step one accomplished.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 4 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 29, 2001

    Must Read about the Surviving of Life!

    This was an awesome book. The way the author shared her pain and hurt was so open and honest. I am so happy that God has blessed her with a happy ending!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 31, 2001

    A Great Book!

    From the minute I picked up this book, I didn't want to put it down. The entire book, from cover to cover, kept my interest...and I found myself dying to know what would happen next.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 5, 2001

    Liberation of a crushed spirit

    A sudden kidnapping of her husband and the fading hope for his well being sends Elie into therapy. No stranger to truma in her life and working through it, something unusal and very unsettling begins to happen to Elie as she struggles to cope with her current truma. Slowly trumas from the past that she thought she had put to rest begin to emerge. With the help and support of someone who seems to understand, Elie begins to see the collection of her life's trumas in a very different way. But there is one truma that imprisons her spirit and won't let go, a truma more terrible than all the others combined. It is the courage to confront this truma head on that brings forth the insight that makes liberation of the spirit possible: 'The Gift of Hurt.' This is a fast paced novel that dares to confront life's trumas head on, but with a gentleness and caring that I feel deserves five stars. I went away knowing I had read more than a good story: I had an experience; an experience that helped shed light and deepened my understanding of some of life's more poignant experiences and sturggles.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 2, 2001

    True-life Stories of Families in Conflict

    This story is based on real events; names of the principles have been changed to protect their privacy. The story starts with the kidnapping of Matt Jameson, Ellie's husband of 25 years, from his place of work. Matt's been selling cars at an upscale dealership. While on a test-drive, a customer pulls a gun on him and forces him to get into the car's trunk. Matt is held in the trunk of the car, fearing for his life, for nineteen hours. When the police can't find him, Ellie begins to believe that he's been murdered. After the kidnapping, Ellie breathes a sigh of relief that doesn't last long. The trauma of this event has become a catalyst that sends her into a dark depression and on a painful journey into the past. Like any family, there are a lot of skeletons in the closet of both Ellie and Matt's families. The things that Ellie never dared tell anyone start to come out in therapy sessions after Matt's kidnapping. To complicate matters, Ellie begins to feel that her therapist, a graduate student named Ann, is the only one who understands her. Ann offers her comfort and Ellie becomes emotionally attached to her. It takes many months of therapy with another doctor, and more startling family revelations along the way, before Ellie can begin to recover. If you like true-life stories of families in conflict, you'll like this book. It's a riveting story of one person's struggle to come to terms with the past and it's made all the more so because it's a true one. Caveat: the subject matter deals with sexual abuse and suicidal episodes.

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