The Girl's Guide to Dating Zombies

Overview

Hattie Cross knows what you're thinking: Zombie sex? Ewwwww. But she also knows that since a virus turned 99.9999 percent of human males into zombies, it's statistically impossible to meet--let alone date--the remaining 0.00001 percent. So she writes "The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies" to help her fellow single women navigate the zombie-relationship waters.

Her practical how-to impresses the CEO of the largest drug company in the world, and before she knows it, Hattie, a ...

See more details below
Paperback
$11.81
BN.com price
(Save 8%)$12.95 List Price
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (7) from $10.71   
  • New (5) from $10.71   
  • Used (2) from $10.89   
Sending request ...

Overview

Hattie Cross knows what you're thinking: Zombie sex? Ewwwww. But she also knows that since a virus turned 99.9999 percent of human males into zombies, it's statistically impossible to meet--let alone date--the remaining 0.00001 percent. So she writes "The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies" to help her fellow single women navigate the zombie-relationship waters.

Her practical how-to impresses the CEO of the largest drug company in the world, and before she knows it, Hattie, a reporter for a downmarket tabloid that specializes in conspiracy theories, is sitting down with the woman who single-handedly invented the zombie-behavioral-modification market. Granted access to the inner sanctum of zombaceuticals, she meets an actual, living, breathing M-A-N.

Now Hattie, the consummate professional, is acting like a single girl at the end of the twentieth century: self-conscious, klutzy and unable to form a coherent sentence without babbling. Worst of all, the human male appears to have impaired her ability to think clearly. Because all of a sudden she's convinced a conspiracy is afoot at the drug company and it seems to go all the way to the top!

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780984901814
  • Publisher: Potatoworks Press
  • Publication date: 2/14/2012
  • Pages: 242
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.55 (d)

Meet the Author

Lynn Messina grew up on Long Island and studied English at Washington University in St. Louis. She has worked at the Museum of Television & Radio (now the Paley Center for Media), TV Guide, In Style, Rolling Stone, Fitness, ForbesLife, Self, Bloomberg Markets and a host of wonderful magazines that have long since disappeared. She mourns the death of print journalism in New York City, where she lives with her husband and sons. She is author of six novels, including the best-selling Fashionistas, which has been translated into 15 languages and is in development as a feature film.
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 2, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Imagine a world where men have been virtually wiped out of exist

    Imagine a world where men have been virtually wiped out of existence leaving females in control of everything and those few remaining men becoming a valuable commodity. It leaves a girl's social life in the dumps and leaves her with only zombies to keep her company in this humorous and clever story.

    Most of the zombies we've seen thus far have been deadly and blood curdling scary, but in this story they've been tamed and soon become a girl's best friend thanks to Hattie Cross' new dating guide. Hattie's an entertaining character writing for a gossip mag but longing to write more professional pieces but is happy with her consistent paycheck. With her book's success comes entry into the largest drug company in the world where there's plenty of secrets to uncover. Hattie reminded me a bit of Nancy Drew with her sleuthing skills and her upbeat attitude. She's smart and assured in everything she does until she comes in contact with a real man, then it's non-stop klutziness. Jake makes her tongue-tied and it's fun seeing that other side to Hattie. I wish we'd seen more and learned more about Jake. As one of the few men in the world I'd like to have seen more of his thoughts about what happened. I also wish there had been more romance between these two. So much sexual tension, but not enough payout for me.

    This was an intriguing book meant to be savored and enjoyed. Don't take it too seriously, just enjoy it for what it is.....humorous, clever, and uniquely entertaining.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 26, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Bear with me for a minute while I explain this one. The Girls

    Bear with me for a minute while I explain this one. <i>The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies</i>
    by Lynn Messina is a book about Hattie Cross, the main character, who wrote <i>The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies</i>
    . So it's a guide within a guide. Maybe that sounds confusing, but it's really not. Lynn is the author (and real), Hattie is the character (and fictional). Still with me? Great!

    Lynn's book starts off with a section from Hattie's guide, and then it jumps over to Hattie's life in the present. The book continues to give snippets of The Guide in between portions of Hattie's life since writing The Guide.

    Imagine if you will a world where all the men, well almost all the men, have contracted a virus that's turned them into zombies. Women run the world! Doesn't that sound like utopia, ladies? Most standards would say this is a dystopian look at the future, however I'm not sure women would agree.

    Are you thinking you'd miss the men? You might. Hattie discusses that in The Guide as well, but she also points out that with a few minor (okay, major) differences zombies aren't far off from men. I don't think I could do Lynn's humor justice by reiterating it here, so I just leave you to read it all for yourself. That's a recommendation, by the way.

    Lynn's look at a future where women run the world and the men are zombies is funny, witty, and unique from any book I've put my hands on. There's been lots of looks into the future, whether utopian looks or dystopian looks, and none have made me smile and laugh as this one did. It's fun to see the ways that dating in the future still hold some customs that we have today, and yet things could be so much simpler if we could just putrefy all men's brains to that of a zombie's.

    Are you concerned about the bad side of zombies? Don't Lynn, err..Hattie, covers that as well. It's all there. So, if you're worried about what the rumored disaster of 2012 will bring, I recommend you pick up Lynn Messina's <i>The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies</i>
    and prepare yourself.

    If you're just looking for a fun book that will entertain with some laughter along the way, then I still recommend you get yourself a copy of <i>The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies</i>
    by Lynn Messina (and Hattie Cross).

    *Disclosure: I received this book for free in exchange for a review*

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 25, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Hilarious and informative! This book is crazy. This book is hi

    Hilarious and informative!

    This book is crazy. This book is hilarious. This book is an alternate universe where the reanimated don&rsquo;t tear us to shreds, but rather live with us in harmony. This book is Carrie Bradshaw during an apocalypse outside a bar after getting sauced on black martinis smoking a menthol cigarette beneath a broken out street light. I loved it!

    So the year is 2020. The H1Z1 variant Y zombie virus has come along and wiped out nearly the entire male species. Yep, this virus turns only those with the Y chromosome into the &ldquo;reliving&rdquo;. Sure, there are some men, actual living men left. About 300,000 of them worldwide. So yeah, take your pick, right?

    Hattie Cross is a journalist. Well, she rights a column for the Scoopage and has turned it into a book, The Girls&rsquo; Guide To Dating Zombies. According to Hattie, women can now date zombies. Modern medication has made it possible. All hail pharmaceuticals!

    Seriously, this book is a fun book. There&rsquo;s a bit of satire in it, which just makes it awesome. You will learn new terms like Zombitrex, Zombreeze, Zombolay WearRepair Serum, Zombie Breezulator 2600 and many more! What? You&rsquo;re not hooked yet?

    How about this &ndash; zombies are more perhaps a better suitor to us than men! Granted, they are still way into football; so much that there is a channel devoted to showing only football. But now they like to dance, listen to you, and best of all &ndash; they like shoes. Oh yeah! Not just wearing them, or seeing them on you, but honest to goodness shopping for shoes!!!!!!!!

    &ldquo;Choosing a boyzomb comes down to two factors: appearance and personality. Ideally, you want to look for one who has retained fifty percent of his facial feature, which is to say at least one eye and half a nose. Limb retention is also important. Arms are optional, but legs are vital if you want to retain any semblance of an independent life.&rdquo;

    I really enjoyed this book. It was light and fun, a fresh breeze of a story with Hattie&rsquo;s life interspersed with chapters from her own book, The Girls&rsquo; Guide To Dating Zombies. She is funny and impulsive at time. And when she meets an actual living, breathing man named Jake, hilarity ensues.

    Maybe I have been regarding the zombie apocalypse all wrong. Maybe we don&rsquo;t need to train and learn how to use weapons. Maybe we don&rsquo;t need to evacuate to colder climes. Maybe everything will be ok. Maybe rehabilitation and medication are the answer.

    Seriously, if you want an entertaining read, then this book is definitely for you. I urge you to give it a try. Read it with an open mind, and be ready to giggle, chortle, guffaw, laugh, and maybe even shoot your beverage of choice out your nose.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)