The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies [NOOK Book]

Overview

Hattie Cross knows what you're thinking: Zombie sex? Ewwwww. But she also knows that since a virus turned 99.9999 percent of human males into zombies, it's statistically impossible to meet--let alone date--the remaining 0.00001 percent. So she writes "The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies" to help her fellow single women navigate the zombie-relationship waters.

Her practical how-to impresses the CEO of the largest drug company in the world, and ...
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The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies

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Overview

Hattie Cross knows what you're thinking: Zombie sex? Ewwwww. But she also knows that since a virus turned 99.9999 percent of human males into zombies, it's statistically impossible to meet--let alone date--the remaining 0.00001 percent. So she writes "The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies" to help her fellow single women navigate the zombie-relationship waters.

Her practical how-to impresses the CEO of the largest drug company in the world, and before she knows it, Hattie, a reporter for a downmarket tabloid that specializes in conspiracy theories, is sitting down with the woman who single-handedly invented the zombie-behavioral-modification market. Granted access to the inner sanctum of zombaceuticals, she meets an actual, living, breathing M-A-N.

Now Hattie, the consummate professional, is acting like a single girl at the end of the twentieth century: self-conscious, klutzy and unable to form a coherent sentence without babbling. Worst of all, the human male appears to have impaired her ability to think clearly. Because all of a sudden she's convinced a conspiracy is afoot at the drug company and it seems to go all the way to the top!
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Product Details

  • BN ID: 2940014022644
  • Publisher: Potatoworks Press
  • Publication date: 2/9/2012
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 242
  • File size: 477 KB

Meet the Author

Lynn Messina grew up on Long Island and studied English at Washington University in St. Louis. She has worked at the Museum of Television & Radio (now the Paley Center for Media), TV Guide, In Style, Rolling Stone, Fitness, ForbesLife, Self, Bloomberg Markets and a host of wonderful magazines that have long since disappeared. She mourns the death of print journalism in New York City, where she lives with her husband and sons. She is author of six novels, including the best-selling Fashionistas, which has been translated into 15 languages and is in development as a feature film.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 7 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 1, 2012

    from nyx

    Want to read it !.LoL

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  • Posted March 2, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Laugh Out Loud Dating Guide!

    Okay. So, honestly? I was WAY iffy about reading this. But, then I thought, what the heck. So, I gave it a shot and signed up to review this book. Boy, was I ever in for a hilarious treat! SERIOUSLY!!!! Lynn Messina has topped the charts in my book with a laugh out hilarious "guide" for women who want to date.....zombies?! Yup. Zombies. And her compilation of information is informative. Truly. If I ever feel the need in say, 8-10 years to date a zombie, well then, I know where to turn! This laugh out loud book will take you on a hilarious look at what the world would be like if it was hit with a zombpocalypse. That's right. A zombpocalypse. Kinda like an apocalypse, only not. It's where the population of men are taking over by zombies. In the year 2000. And they don't eat people. No, they eat ANIMALS: squirrels, rabbits, birds....etc, etc. There are 99.9999 men in the US in 2020 and they are all zombies. Wow. How can you handle that? Lynn Messina creates Hattie Cross to help us with just that. She teaches us that with medication, it's okay to have sex with Zombies (seriously, it's in there.). She shows us that it's possible to have a meaningful (sort of!) conversation with a zombie. It's all rather interesting, if you ask me. But, then Hattie meets Jake Maddox. A rather handsome, NORMAL man, if you ask her. Or so she thinks. With a few added twists and turns along the way, Hattie's zombie adventure turns into a full out laughing fest for the readers. This is a 4 Book worthy novel and one that I would recommend to any zombie loving book-a-holic out there! Lynn Messina has a unique talent and I am hoping that this isn't the end for her "undead" reading guides! I'd love to see something like this on dating vamps or weres! Awesome job!!! This review originated at Reviews By Molly in part with a blog tour.

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  • Posted February 27, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Loved It!

    A plague has decimated the world. Men are practically extinct, sort of. Those that have survived and aren't zombified live in the lap of luxury while the rest have been transformed into complete zombies. This has left every woman on Earth to take matters into their own hands in hopes of rebuilding the world as they know it.

    While doing so hasn't been easy, the survivors have been able to make do with they've got. They've also learned to co-exist with their zombie-ish friends, a fact made quite clear in Hattie Cross's book, The Girls' Guide To Dating Zombies. Sure, there's an extensive list of things to do in order to live peacefully with one of these beloved ghouls but I'm sure you're up to the task, aren't you? If Hattie can do it, then surely, so can we!

    Let's face it, the thought of being with a zombie might sound appalling, but there are now measures to counterattack their rapid decay. The myriad of drugs now available will allow you to slow that process down considerably. Can't stand the smell emanating from these reliving corpses? No problem! There are creams for that. Want to keep him happy? Let him watch football 24/7. Seriously, he's content to just sit in front of the tube and grunt right and left to his heart's content.

    Intimacy with one isn't a problem either as there are medications that make that possible between the both of you. Let's also not forget that by giving him a bite to eat of the occasional animal brain whenever he's hungry will make him appreciate you all the more. Of course, also learning their language ensures you'll have a successful relationship, as well. It's that simple, I swear!


    Hattie Cross never imagined she'd gain such notoriety when she decided to write the The Girls' Guide To Dating Zombies. She considers herself lucky when she inadvertently piques the interest of the CEO of the largest drug company around. Granted, Matilda isn't easy to get know because of her busy schedules and the little entourage that follows her around but Hattie is willing to give things a shot and see how they go. Who knows? Perhaps the woman will help her in getting ahead somehow.

    Her entire world is soon thrown into limbo when she meets Jake Maddox, the first healthy male she's ever seen in decades. The sight of him boggles her mind and sends her senses spinning as she finds herself drawn to him in more ways than one. Yet there's something about him and Matilda she can't quite put her finger on. Delving deeper into the mysteries surrounding the company and Jake himself, Hattie stumbles upon truths she wishes she'd never become privy to in the first place.



    This was such an awesome story. I enjoyed every minute of it. The comedic spin on several things from the real world was awesome and it leant credibility to how things could be if such a calamity were to actually arise one day. The characters were very likeable and the situations that Hattie occasionally found herself in were certainly relatable.

    Lynn did a beautiful job in building the environment for her story and the extensive research that must have gone into it certainly comes through. I definitely recommend this book to others for reading.

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  • Posted February 15, 2012

    See Zombies in a whole new light!

    What a fun book! I love how chapters of the Guide were mixed into the story itself. There are a lot of zombie books out there right now and this is a nice humorous twist on our favorite brain eating, foot dragging, reanimated humans.

    Know why you should pick up this book (besides the interesting plot, the humor and the good writing)? You should pick it up for the zombie sex. Yes, I said sex. S-E-X. With zombies. Zombies who are missing limbs. Zombies who might loose a finger during fornication. Zombies on....Viagra! Come on now. Comedy gold! You know you want to read about it!

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