The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation

by Alan Fruzzetti PhD, Marsha M. Linehan PhD, ABPP

Overview

You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.

The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.

This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781572244504
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	12/03/2006
Series:	Unassigned Series
Pages:	192
Sales rank:	133,824
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x (d)

About the Author

Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD, is associate professor of psychology and director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Research Program at the University of Nevada, Reno. He provides extensive training, supervision, and consultation for DBT treatment programs and DBT research in the United States and abroad. Fruzzetti is also research director and member of the board of directors of the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder and a codeveloper of the Family Connections Program. He has provided extensive DBT training in the United States, Europe, and Australia. He has authored or coauthored dozens of scholarly articles and book chapters on this and related topics.

Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, is developer of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and professor of psychology and director of the Behavioral Research and Therapy Clinics (BRTC) at the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. She is author of Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder and Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder.

Editorial Reviews

"This is a long awaited book! Fruzzetti is a master clinician who does rigorous science in order to provide those of us doing treatment and those in need of it something that works. This is hope for all of us working with individuals, couples and families who suffer. Thank you, Alan, for this timely and important work."
—Suzanne Witterholt, MD, distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Associationand director of Ananda Services for Dialectical Behavior Therapy in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Minnesota

"Fruzzetti is a leader in work with high-conflict couples and families. This much-awaited book provides an opportunity to learn his techniques and strategies, presented in his unique teaching style that is so effective. The book is a must for every DBT program as well as all those working within the field."
—Perry D. Hoffman, Ph.D., president of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, New York

"A warm and professional guide following in the tradition of acceptance and compassion. A book on how to handle love and stay connected even in difficult circumstances. We have waited for it!"
—Anna Kåver, psychologist and author with Karolinska Hospital, Stockholm, Sweden

"The High Conflict Couple performs a major public service. Fruzzetti's approach starts with an important principle: that dysregulated emotions are the core difficulty for high-conflict couples. From this he provides step-by-step practical methods designed to enhance acceptance, intimacy, and communication based on the latest research regarding emotion regulation and his own vast experience in working with couples and families. In essence, this is an excellent book, useful for both clinicians and couples regardless of the severity of their difficulties."
—Thomas R. Lynch, Ph.D., associate professor in the Departments of Psychiatry and Psychology and Neuroscience and director of the Cognitive Behavior Research and Treatment Program at Duke University

From the Publisher

High-conflict relationships are the subject of these works, which each take a different approach to this growing problem. Fruzzetti (psychology, director, DBT Therapy & Research Prog., Univ. of Nevada, Reno; coauthor, Dialectical Behavior Therapy [DBT] with Couples and Families) presents solid advice for couples wanting to take an active role in improving their relationship. His information is based jointly on the principles of DBT, a treatment for emotion dysregulation (inappropriate emotional response) developed by Marsha M. Linehan, who wrote the foreword, as well as on the established principles of healthy couple and family interaction and intervention developed by other professionals working in couples therapy. Fruzzetti includes practical, step-by-step exercises designed to help high-conflict couples build a stronger partnership while acknowledging areas that need work. In addition, he makes clear that his material is not intended to be the sole learning tool for relationships that include physical or sexual aggression or violence, referring the abused partner to local crisis services. Forensic psychologist Gaulier (director, Court Psychological Clinic, Oakland Cty., MI), clinical psychologist Judith Margerum (codirector, Michigan Family Inst.), Jerome A. Price (director & founder, Michigan Family Inst.; Power and Compassion), and James Windell (circuit court psychologist, Oakland Cty., MI) share insights gained from their experience implementing the After Divorce-Effective Parenting Together (ADEPT) treatment program. ADEPT was created to help the Sixth Circuit Court Family Division as it struggled to manage the many intractable couples who consumed much of the court's time and energy. This marvelous guide, which adds to the publisher's established "Practical Therapist" series, is organized around major sections that address the fundamental issue of why people have high-conflict divorces, patterns of dysfunction in high-conflict divorces, understanding the legal and mental health context of the problem, and the most critical section, successful interventions that teach therapeutic professionals how best to get involved and assist those caught up in the rancor of difficult divorces. While both works contain information of value to couples involved in high-conflict relationships, the work by Gaulier and his colleagues more aptly serves academic libraries supporting the helping professions. Fruzzetti's focused use of the specialized dialectical behavior therapy makes his book unique in the couples-therapy field and recommends it for larger public libraries.-Dale Farris, Groves, TX Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal