The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation

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Overview

You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples-pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame-need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a 'high-conflict' couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.

The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
High-conflict relationships are the subject of these works, which each take a different approach to this growing problem. Fruzzetti (psychology, director, DBT Therapy & Research Prog., Univ. of Nevada, Reno; coauthor, Dialectical Behavior Therapy [DBT] with Couples and Families) presents solid advice for couples wanting to take an active role in improving their relationship. His information is based jointly on the principles of DBT, a treatment for emotion dysregulation (inappropriate emotional response) developed by Marsha M. Linehan, who wrote the foreword, as well as on the established principles of healthy couple and family interaction and intervention developed by other professionals working in couples therapy. Fruzzetti includes practical, step-by-step exercises designed to help high-conflict couples build a stronger partnership while acknowledging areas that need work. In addition, he makes clear that his material is not intended to be the sole learning tool for relationships that include physical or sexual aggression or violence, referring the abused partner to local crisis services. Forensic psychologist Gaulier (director, Court Psychological Clinic, Oakland Cty., MI), clinical psychologist Judith Margerum (codirector, Michigan Family Inst.), Jerome A. Price (director & founder, Michigan Family Inst.; Power and Compassion), and James Windell (circuit court psychologist, Oakland Cty., MI) share insights gained from their experience implementing the After Divorce-Effective Parenting Together (ADEPT) treatment program. ADEPT was created to help the Sixth Circuit Court Family Division as it struggled to manage the many intractable couples who consumed much of the court's time and energy. This marvelous guide, which adds to the publisher's established "Practical Therapist" series, is organized around major sections that address the fundamental issue of why people have high-conflict divorces, patterns of dysfunction in high-conflict divorces, understanding the legal and mental health context of the problem, and the most critical section, successful interventions that teach therapeutic professionals how best to get involved and assist those caught up in the rancor of difficult divorces. While both works contain information of value to couples involved in high-conflict relationships, the work by Gaulier and his colleagues more aptly serves academic libraries supporting the helping professions. Fruzzetti's focused use of the specialized dialectical behavior therapy makes his book unique in the couples-therapy field and recommends it for larger public libraries.-Dale Farris, Groves, TX Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781572244504
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
  • Publication date: 12/3/2006
  • Pages: 192
  • Sales rank: 92,816
  • Series: Unassigned Series
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD, is associate professor of psychology and director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Research Program at the University of Nevada, Reno. He provides extensive training, supervision, and consultation for DBT treatment programs and DBT research in the United States and abroad. Fruzzetti is also research director and member of the board of directors of the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder and a codeveloper of the Family Connections Program. He has provided extensive DBT training in the United States, Europe, and Australia. He has authored or coauthored dozens of scholarly articles and book chapters on this and related topics.

Foreword writer Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, is professor of psychology and director of the Behavioral Research and Therapy Clinics (BRTC) at the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. She is author of Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder and Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder.

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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 4, 2007

    Highly recommended to improve your relationship

    This book is an important new resource not only for people concerned about relationship conflict. Anyone struggling with anxiety, depression, or other 'individual' emotional problems who is also in an intimate relationship could benefit. More and more, psychologists are discovering just how important relationships are to what we once thought were individual personal problems. This wonderful book is rich with real life examples and straightforward exercises every reader can do. This book is highly recommended for anyone wanting to improve their relationship with their partner!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2006

    Somebody finally understands us!

    We just got this book and even though the author said to go slowly and read one chapter at a time and practice his exercises, we just couldn't put it down and read the whole thing. We have had a lot of problems in our marriage, but this book really describes us perfectly. Now we are reading it over again and doing ALL of the practices. They are so helpful! This is so much better than 2 years of marriage therapy! And a lot cheaper, too. I wish this had been available 5 years ago. Every couple should read this book, even before they get married.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted August 11, 2009

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    Posted November 27, 2008

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    Posted April 9, 2009

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