The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validationby Alan Fruzzetti
You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems
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You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.
The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.
—Suzanne Witterholt, MD, distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Associationand director of Ananda Services for Dialectical Behavior Therapy in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Minnesota
- New Harbinger Publications
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Meet the Author
Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD, is associate professor of psychology and director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Research Program at the University of Nevada, Reno. He provides extensive training, supervision, and consultation for DBT treatment programs and DBT research in the United States and abroad. Fruzzetti is also research director and member of the board of directors of the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder and a codeveloper of the Family Connections Program. He has provided extensive DBT training in the United States, Europe, and Australia. He has authored or coauthored dozens of scholarly articles and book chapters on this and related topics.
Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, is professor of psychology and director of the Behavioral Research and Therapy Clinics (BRTC) at the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. She is author of Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder and Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder.
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This book is an important new resource not only for people concerned about relationship conflict. Anyone struggling with anxiety, depression, or other 'individual' emotional problems who is also in an intimate relationship could benefit. More and more, psychologists are discovering just how important relationships are to what we once thought were individual personal problems. This wonderful book is rich with real life examples and straightforward exercises every reader can do. This book is highly recommended for anyone wanting to improve their relationship with their partner!
We just got this book and even though the author said to go slowly and read one chapter at a time and practice his exercises, we just couldn't put it down and read the whole thing. We have had a lot of problems in our marriage, but this book really describes us perfectly. Now we are reading it over again and doing ALL of the practices. They are so helpful! This is so much better than 2 years of marriage therapy! And a lot cheaper, too. I wish this had been available 5 years ago. Every couple should read this book, even before they get married.