The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

An exhalation in the sigh of understanding

Do you often think of something you should have said after the opportunity has passed? Are others often surprised, finding you to be smarter than they first thought? Has anyone ever said you momentarily looked as if you were in a different world? Do you notice the small details others don't see or many sides of an issue? If so, you may be part of the 20% population known as an 'introvert' personality type. (Although I suspect there may actually be more than 20% who have been conditioned by our predominantly extroverted orientated society to fit themselves within the extrovert range of the continuum.) If you are an introvert (and there is a test within this book to find out), you will find your qualities celebrated and appreciated. You will feel vindicated and validated as Dr. Laney dispels myths and misconceptions, such as being shy, antisocial, being a self-absorbed loner, reclusive, retiring, and the myriad of other distortions society (including introverts themselves) may have about introvertism. The main difference between an introvert and an extrovert is in how the two types gain their energy. Introverts focus inward to gain energy and become drained of energy from external sources. Extroverts must draw their energy from outward sources and become drained when they are alone. With their focus outside of themselves, extroverts like to experience a wide variety of stimuli, knowledge and experiences, whereas an introvert enjoys a more in-depth focus. Extroverts take in information but don't process it or expand it. When introverts take in information, they feel a need to reflect on it and expand it for depth, delving deeply for richness. Although extroverts may judge themselves in the light of the values and reality of others, an introvert is not at the mercy of such external environment. Introverts are independent thinkers and idle chit-chat can drain their energy, giving nothing in return. Because extroverts don't generate as much internal stimulation as introverts, they must get it from external sources. Introverts need fewer relationships than extroverts but they like more connection and intimacy within their relationships. Some of the other hallmark traits of introverts are: conscientiousness, good listeners, having the ability to think outside the box, ability to persistently focus well for long periods of time, to notice details others miss, ability to take all sides of an issue into account and being creative in imaginative ways. With at least 60% of the intellectually gifted identified as introverted, there is a definite correlation between introversion and intelligence. The example of Einstein's earliest education proves that a harsh environment can impair an introvert and undercut their potential. Introverts can access their talents, like the ability to concentrate and question, only in a fitting environment. And as Dr. Laney also points out, 'Unless they can reduce outside stimulation, their inner thoughts, feelings, and impressions will never bubble up to the surface.' One chapter of 'The Introvert Advantage' features a fascinating study of brain research and mapping results. Blood travels along different pathways of the brain between introverts and extroverts and the dominant neurotransmitters used are different as well. Other chapters are written about relationships and the pros and cons of the paired combinations of introverts and extroverts, children and their identifiable differences and strategies for helping them succeed, as well as all sorts of tips, tactics and methods for helping yourself nurture this special personality to your fullest advantage. True to form with this statement, 'The trick is to help them understand themselves without developing avoidance as a way to cope,' Dr. Laney helps without being patronizing, overly simple or indulgent, and she is very thorough in her suggestions for even those most introverted along the spectrum. Although anyone can benefit fro

4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

Informative and validating for Introverts

As an Introvert, I found this book to be both informational and validating. It helped me to see how to communicate my needs and differences with the Extroverts in my life. It was enlightening to discover that I am not alone in how I navigate the world and interactions with others. I was so inspired by the book, I am giving a copy to my sister.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

For anyone - Introvert or Extrovert

This book provides great insight into introversion. It is difficult for an introvert to function in an extroverted world if the introvert doesn't know that they have different personal preferences than extroverts, and THAT IS OK!

I found myself, slightly introvert, wondering why I didn't always enjoy the same things my friends did? Was there something wrong with me? Why didn't I feel like going to the bar *ALL* the time? I believe this book helped me in answering those questions: 1. No, there's nothing wrong with me. 2. Because I need quiet time to "recharge" the batteries and they need stimulation to do the same.

I highly recommend this book to anyone -- introverts to understand themselves and extroverts to understand introverts.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

A survivor¿s guide for introverts

Look around you: The world was surely made by, and exists for, extroverts. It is loud. It is fast. It values aggression. It rewards push. These are all extrovert characteristics. In such a world, introverts are sojourners. How can these quiet, contemplative, reclusive personalities get by? Learned psychoanalyst and proud introvert Marti Olsen Laney has some thoughts on the subject. She spells them out in her guidebook for introverts. She details introversion, what the introverted temperament involves and why it exists. The book provides some helpful approaches and techniques introverts can use to exist and even thrive in an extrovert world. getAbstract concurs that audacious extroverts make the external world go around and that thoughtful introverts help them understand the internal world, or the ¿tides of day and night,¿ as poet and introvert Dante Gabriel Rossetti described it. If you are an introvert or want to understand one better, turn to Laney¿s insightful book on introversion. She is, quietly, a leading authority on the topic.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Life-changing!

This book really helped me realize that I'm not anti-social, and I shouldn't let others shame me for not wanting to attend social functions all the time. It's helped me better understand relationships at home and at work, and this new knowledge about myself has helped these relationships to improve. Highly recommended for everyone.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Recommend

If you want to understand more about why you feel the way you do read this book. If it doesn't matter don't bother. I am the true introvert and always always want to understand everything. This book was recommended to me by a friend. I didn't read it right away but after a few chapters it really became interesting to the point I was reading it outloud to my signfcnt-other. Very thought provoking. We both took the test too.

Great validating read for introverts

This a great book for those in work environments that celebrate extrovert behaviors. I felt validated for who I am and I have purchased the book for other fellow introverts. We have our own superpowers!

I'd buy this if it had an E-Book option!

I'm dying to read this book; have heard nothing but great recommendations for it. Please make it an ebook!

0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

It provided lots of help to understand of one's personality.

It provided lots of help to understand of one's prsonality.

AMAZING BOOK

this is an amazing book!!!! i think that everyone should read it even if they aren't an introvert. it will help you understand yourself and the people around you. i would reccomend it to anyone.

I Feel So Much Better

Until I read this book I felt something was wrong with me, basically because people were always telling me there was something wrong with me. Now I know this is just how I am and it is OK. I am not anti-social. I am not rude, I am not stand-offish, etc... I just work in a different way than the 'extrovert world'. I don't normally write reviews on-line for whatever reason. I guess I feel if there is a good product out there it should be that way and we shouldn't need to celebrate it. This is different. While this book does not really give you tools (which is why I gave it 4 stars) to deal with the extroverted world it helps you understand it is OK not to be an extrovert in an extrovert world. I would recommend this book to anyone who has been told they are anti-social when all they want is some peace and quiet time for themselves.

Thank you, Dr. Laney!

This book has helped my husband so much, that I wish there was one about being an extrovert, just so that he could understand me - I will read this book so that I can understand him!

A book for extroverts who love introverts

My extrovert husband and I laugh every time we read this book, it explains a lot about how I feel that I can't put into words myself. I bought it because I heard a radio interview with the author, who has a lot of insight and practical (or witty) suggestions. Now I am buying another copy for my sister and brother-in-law, because they liked my copy so much.

Wonderful Book

Great book for both introverts and extroverts, especially for working on their relationship. Got a lot of ideas that have really helped in my marriage. Recommend to all. Also good with understanding your children.

Info To Help You Thrive in an Extrovert World

THE INTROVERT ADVANTAGE is beautifully organized and chock full of information. I'd be reading along and would wonder--'What about--?' And I'd turn the page and there would be the answer. (I was curious, for instance, if all introverts thought in pictures and voila! There, on pages 88-90 was a segment titled The Right Brain!) THE INTROVERT ADVANTAGE is filled with insightful facts presented accessibly. It includes stories and examples, and offers useful suggestions and coping mechanisms that help 'Innies' thrive in an Extrovert world.

Great Read

This book is great. The examples are real and the book is very helpful for an introvert who has experienced these issues. The author of this book deserves a great thank you. The book is so helpful!

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