The Kindness Principle: Making Relational Behaviour Management Work in Schools

In an education system that too often reaches for the carrot-and-stick approach to dealing with poor pupil behaviour, an approach built on kindness and compassion might just provide the cure. The Kindness Principle begins with the idea that relationships should be at the heart of behaviour management and culture, and sets out the ways in which the adoption of relational approaches can help create safer and happier schools. Schools where all staff and learners are valued and understood, where expectations and standards are high, and where kindness and acceptance matter. Dave Whitaker explores why it is so important to understand children - offering techniques, advices and guidance on how to work effectively with all children (even the most challenging and troubled ones) without resorting to zero-tolerance, no-excuses and consequence-driven practices. Dave also shares a wealth of real-life experiences from some of the most challenging schools in the country, along with research-informed insights that will help teachers understand children's behaviour in a new light. Suitable for teachers, school leaders and anyone working with children.

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The Kindness Principle: Making Relational Behaviour Management Work in Schools

In an education system that too often reaches for the carrot-and-stick approach to dealing with poor pupil behaviour, an approach built on kindness and compassion might just provide the cure. The Kindness Principle begins with the idea that relationships should be at the heart of behaviour management and culture, and sets out the ways in which the adoption of relational approaches can help create safer and happier schools. Schools where all staff and learners are valued and understood, where expectations and standards are high, and where kindness and acceptance matter. Dave Whitaker explores why it is so important to understand children - offering techniques, advices and guidance on how to work effectively with all children (even the most challenging and troubled ones) without resorting to zero-tolerance, no-excuses and consequence-driven practices. Dave also shares a wealth of real-life experiences from some of the most challenging schools in the country, along with research-informed insights that will help teachers understand children's behaviour in a new light. Suitable for teachers, school leaders and anyone working with children.

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The Kindness Principle: Making Relational Behaviour Management Work in Schools

The Kindness Principle: Making Relational Behaviour Management Work in Schools

by Dave Whitaker
The Kindness Principle: Making Relational Behaviour Management Work in Schools

The Kindness Principle: Making Relational Behaviour Management Work in Schools

by Dave Whitaker

Paperback

$22.95 
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Overview

In an education system that too often reaches for the carrot-and-stick approach to dealing with poor pupil behaviour, an approach built on kindness and compassion might just provide the cure. The Kindness Principle begins with the idea that relationships should be at the heart of behaviour management and culture, and sets out the ways in which the adoption of relational approaches can help create safer and happier schools. Schools where all staff and learners are valued and understood, where expectations and standards are high, and where kindness and acceptance matter. Dave Whitaker explores why it is so important to understand children - offering techniques, advices and guidance on how to work effectively with all children (even the most challenging and troubled ones) without resorting to zero-tolerance, no-excuses and consequence-driven practices. Dave also shares a wealth of real-life experiences from some of the most challenging schools in the country, along with research-informed insights that will help teachers understand children's behaviour in a new light. Suitable for teachers, school leaders and anyone working with children.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781781353851
Publisher: Independent Thinking
Publication date: 07/28/2021
Pages: 152
Product dimensions: 8.50(w) x 6.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Dave Whitaker is an Independent Thinking Associate and the Director of Learning for the Wellspring Academy Trust. As a former executive principal of social, emotional and mental health (SEMH) needs special schools and alternative provision academies, he now has responsibility for several such academies across Lincolnshire and Yorkshire. He is also a founding member of the Headteachers' Roundtable think tank and is a regular speaker at conferences, as well as being an active campaigner for educational change.

Table of Contents

Foreword i

Acknowledgements ii

Introduction: It must start with kindness 1

Chapter 1 Unconditional positive regard 5

Don't smile until Christmas? 5

An example from practice 9

Simple, influential leadership 10

Chapter 2 Creating a culture 13

Values must be seen, not just written 13

The social discipline window 15

Setting the tone 16

Chapter 3 No excuses, plenty of fear 21

No excuses and zero tolerance 21

Harsh punishment or meaningful deterrent? 22

Regulation and reward 25

Punitive consistency 26

Chapter 4 Rewards, sanctions and praise 31

Beyond the behaviourist approach 31

Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation 33

Relationships as a motivational factor 34

Reward systems and their negative, unintended consequences 36

The power of praise 38

Humiliation and shame 39

Restoration, not revenge 41

Chapter 5 Behaviour policy - why bother? 45

What's in a behaviour policy? 45

Policy in a pandemic 51

Rigour, routine and structure 52

Flexible consistency 55

Learning from your Carls 58

Relational consistency is key 60

Chapter 6 Intimacy, warmth, banter and trust (and a bit about the brain) 61

Banter 62

Relationships and the brain 63

The power of play 65

Polyvagal theory and playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy (PACE) 67

Curiosity and empathy 69

The window of tolerance and states of arousal 75

Chapter 7 Background influences (and a bit more about the brain) 79

The circle of influence 79

Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) 84

Attachment theory 86

Nurture approaches 87

Stress and anxiety - yours and theirs 90

Chapter 8 Conflict resolution, de-escalation and the power of Language 99

The behaviour is just a symptom 99

The power of the restorative conversation 101

Language matters 105

Distraction, not reaction 110

Model communication 110

Revise your view of conflict 111

Chapter 9 Exclusions - how do we ever justify giving up on a child? 117

No-exclusions policy? 118

What does the exclusion rate say about a school? 119

The reality of fixed-term exclusion 121

Justified exclusions? 121

The long-term legacy of permanent exclusion 123

Withdrawal and non-attendance 129

Conclusion: Creating a legacy 129

Learn from those you admire 129

Vulnerability is a virtue 130

Understanding needs 131

How will you be remembered? 132

Bibliography 137

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