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Carley Roney: Hi, and thanks for having me, barnesandnoble.com! I'm excited to talk about TheKnot.com's new book.
Carley Roney: You need to go to a resource that makes your fiancé feel more like being involved, that is one of the reasons the Knot web site is so popular -- it speaks to brides and grooms. So does our book. Then give him tasks he would be into -- picking the band, deciding on the cocktails to be served, et cetera. Once he is in there, he'll get more into it. (You'd be surprised how many grooms do these days.)
Carley Roney: The Knot book covers everything, from how to buy an engagement ring to the top honeymoon destinations to how to deal with each other's annoying habits (or families). Of course, weddings A to Z are covered in complete detail and with lots of humor and real-world advice.
Carley Roney: Many couples these days are choosing this very intimate option for their ceremony. It also means you can have the ceremony in an intimate location and then have everyone who wants come to the reception, budget permitting. You should really explain to your mom how you feel about it -- she should understand your desire to be more private. These are your vows and your ceremony -- you need to feel comfortable about how you handle it.
Carley Roney: Seven months is plenty of time to plan a wedding. In some ways you'll be better off -- less time to agonize over every little detail! Focus on what's most important to you guys and be flexible about the rest of your decisions. (P.S. I planned mine in three -- and it was a great time!)
Carley Roney: Bridget, unfortunately, your mom is right rule-wise. But these days I am kind of against that whole setup. I think that everyone -- the bride's family and the groom's family and the couple themselves -- should contribute. That way everyone can have the people most important to them there. It doesn't start everything off on the right foot if one side of the family feels slighted to start with. Ask your groom if his parents feel bad about it, and then address it if it is an issue. If not, don't worry about it!
Carley Roney: So many people are having interfaith weddings these days, how could I ignore it? Also covered are interethnic weddings, second weddings, special weddings -- pretty much anything and everything weddingwise! At TheKnot.com we don't believe in cookie-cutter weddings -- we embrace them all.
Carley Roney: Meredith, go to your florist and tell them what the budget you have is. If they cannot do the job inside your budget, find a new florist. They should know creative ways to make you great flowers for whatever money you have, and if they don't, they aren't working hard enough to please you, and you shouldn't work with them anyway. Consider more simple arrangements that will take less time to create, more greenery (which is really trendy these days), and seasonal flowers.
Carley Roney: Yes, Arlene, you can wear whatever your little heart desires. These days, very few people are virgins when they get married, so don't feel like you are trying to fool anyone!
Carley Roney: TheKnot.com is the No. 1 wedding web site. We've been around since '96 talking to over 250,000 brides a month -- at this point we know just about any question or concern a couple could have when planning their wedding. We put the "best of" plus a lot of great extra tips, tricks, and real-world stories into this book so that online and offline couples could get all of this up-to-date advice.
Carley Roney: I have friends in the "biz," shall we say. I know a lot of answers, but if I don't, I call up the industry's top experts and ask them their tips and tricks. I couldn't possibly keep up on the demand myself!
Carley Roney: Hey, Jane, I swear, selecting attendants is like a minefield -- there is always some complicating factor! Anyway, my advice is, select those you love and who are closest to you. I think people overestimate how much people want to be in other people's wedding parties anyway. Unless they are really close to you, I wouldn't do it -- it can be an extra burden for both of you!
Carley Roney: You bet! Love is love. We try to give advice that applies to all celebrations of committment -- weddings, second marriages, gay and lesbian ceremonies, vow renewal, et cetera. We do have special information on what religions are gay-friendly and other details that apply only to the gay and lesbian communities.
Carley Roney: In the Knot book, we address that issue, because a lot of couples feel just like you do. There are suggestions of people who can preside as well as a way to have someone important to you get certified to preside. Or you can have a friend preside and have a judge stand by just for that legal part. (I have seen that quite a few times -- it works great). Good luck!
Carley Roney: Recently we had an eco-wedding week on the Knot to address this issue across the board! Recycled paper is great; postcard response cards are all the rage; and single sheet invites can be very classy and cool. For more tips on eco-friendly weddings, consult the book, page 127.
Carley Roney: In the Knot book, we have a complete tipping guide, since it is all so confusing! Everyone always has questions about tipping. Two bits of advice: 1) Don't tip above what is on the bill unless the person has done a great job; 2) ask the hotel manager what is customary. FYI, to me it seems like you are getting off cheap, since some expect up to 15-20 percent!
Carley Roney: To me it makes sense. If you have lots of people, you want to make sure you greet them all -- it is the good hostess thing to do. If you have under 50 people at your wedding and you are sure you will have time to talk to them all, then it may be unnecessary, but it is also a good way for your parents to feel honored and meet everyone. For more receiving line tips and how-tos: pages 101-102!
Carley Roney: Wowza! That seems like too much money to me! The whole "specializing in wedding dresses" thing can be a scam. What you really need is a cleaner that you, the Better Business Bureau, and quite a few other people trust. I got mine, that was my mom's, cleaned at a regular dry cleaner -- it was fine, and it was 25-year-old silk satin!
Carley Roney: Good question! For starters, it's portable! But more than that, since it is a book, we really could get down to the nitty-gritty on things. You'll find great resource listings, worksheets, tons of new tips, new real-couple stories, and more expert advice. Of course, our wonderful interactive tools and our cool gift registry couldn't fit in there, so you'll still need to find those at TheKnot.com!
Carley Roney: I promise you, this is the most up-to-date, most realistic, and most fun guide you will find to planning a wedding -- never mind that it is for the couple, not just the bride! I read all of those books out there when I was planning my wedding, and they either wanted me to have a million-dollar stress-filled wedding or a cheapo no-frills wedding. I wanted a fresh, personal, fun, and elegant wedding that wouldn't bankrupt me -- so that's why we started the Knot!
Carley Roney: It depends on how close you are to them, Wendy. I have been invited to lots of my employees' weddings, but not all of them. If you can afford it, go for it. If it means cutting out a closer friend, forget it. Budget is always the best excuse, because everyone understands money constraints. Just make sure to mention that you would have liked to have had them there!
Carley Roney: Rhonda, you are not alone. The biggest trend I see in weddings is that couples are paying themselves. We address every kind of invitation wording in the book on pages 115-119. There are a lot of options, but here is the standard: Bride's name and groom's name request the honor of your presence at their marriage, date.... If you want to include your parents, add "together with their parents" on the line after the groom's name. Some other creative wording options are in the book! Best of luck!
Carley Roney: You should absolutely be her man of honor! Here's why: She asked you. You are her closest friend in the world. How could you not? Besides, everyone is doing this. I promise you, it is not weird or out of the ordinary at all -- untraditional, yes, but strange, no. Ask her to enlist a second maid of honor to help you out -- she can go to the fittings, she can help you organize a bachelorette, et cetera. The book will help you with your tasks, and won't even make you feel strange about it!
Carley Roney: Make sure you hire a professional who gets the way you want it done -- and most importantly, what you do not want him to do. Make strict guidelines on where he can and can't be, and make sure to talk to other past clients so that you can be assured that he is subtle and smart. For the contract points and important questions to ask, go to pages 217-221 in the book!
Carley Roney: Thanks for having me, barnesandnoble.com. The most important advice I can give as the editor in chief of TheKnot.com, who talks to thousands of stressed-out brides and grooms every day: Focus on what is important to you. Don't stress over every little detail. You're planning the biggest and best party of your life -- have fun with it! Buy the book, but then come to TheKnot.com for any unanswered questions -- we'll either tell you where to find it in the book or we'll come to your rescue in real time! Good luck, everyone. Have a blast.
Posted July 7, 2004
This is a great wedding resource, with lots of wedding history and even more good advice on how to keep people's feelings in mind. But it's got a giant caveat: The weddings in here are all five figures and up. It doesn't have much to do with 'weddings in the real world,' frankly--I don't have $4,000 to blow on the catering alone. If you're planning a wedding on a budget, go for 'Weddings from the Heart'--not this book, which is more like 'weddings from your parents' pocketbook.'Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 6, 2001
As I am planning my wedding, I am finding this book very useful since it has useful checklists and pages for vendor information. The website for the knot is also very useful!! I would recommend this to any bride-to-be or groom-to-be.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.