Read an Excerpt
The Law of Attraction Plain and Simple
Create the Extraordinary Life That You Deserve
By Sonia Ricotti
Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc. Copyright © 2008 Sonia Ricotti
All rights reserved.
The FIRST Step
Decide What You Want
If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else.
Decide What You Want
What do you want? What do you really want? This is an important question to ponder. In order to truly manifest and attract all that you desire in life, you must first decide what you want. You must become clear on your vision of what your greatest life would look like.
Most people don't know what they want. Either they don't take the time to get clear about what they truly desire, or they focus on the things they don't want in life (for example, I don't want debt).
"Become clear on your vision."
By focusing on the things you don't want, you are experiencing negative thoughts and therefore launching negative energy. This results in attracting more of the same negative situations, people, and experiences into your life.
Think about your thoughts. What do you usually think about? Are you complaining about what your life looks like right now? If so, chances are you are using negative language and focusing on the things you don't want in life. By doing so, you are only attracting more of the same into your life.
"Focus on what you want."
The key is to become clear about what you do want. Once you know what you do want and focus your attention on that, you will automatically project positive energy.
When deciding what you want, be unrealistic. What would you want for yourself if anything was possible? This is a difficult task to accomplish for many people because they get stuck with "how" it will occur in their lives. If they don't know how that could ever possibly manifest itself in their lives, then they believe that it is not possible.
When I tell my coaching clients to dream big when deciding what they want, countless times they respond with, "But I have to be realistic." I always respond with, "Why?"
"Be unrealistic. Dream big.
Be unrealistic. Dream big! Don't worry about exactly how what you want will develop in your life. Once you begin emitting powerful positive energy at all times, the universe will respond.
The only limits we have in our lives are the limits we impose on ourselves.
The "how" is unimportant; your job is to figure out the "what."
CREATE A LIST
One way of uncovering what you want in life is to make a list of all the things you don't want.
After you create this list, go through each and every statement and turn it into a positive statement of what you do want. For instance, if you say, "I don't want to have trouble paying the bills each month," you can turn that around to "Money comes easily and freely to me and bills are paid with ease."
Doing this exercise will force you to focus on the positive and also allows you to become clear about what you do want.
This is the first and most important step to truly achieving your greatest life. Once you discover what you truly want in life, then you can put your energy and focus on these things. By simply focusing on these positive things, you automatically generate positive thoughts and positive energy. CHAPTER 2
The SECOND Step
Choose Your Thoughts and Feelings
Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.
Choose Your Thoughts and Feelings
Do you know that you can choose what you are thinking and feeling at all times? At first this may sound difficult to do, but by simply becoming aware of what you are thinking and feeling, you can redirect negative thoughts and feelings and turn them into positive thoughts and feelings.
The best way to recognize a negative thought is to become aware of how you are feeling. Anytime you are not feeling good, you are thinking negative thoughts (whether you are conscious of it or not) and therefore emitting negative energy. Your feeling barometer will advise you on whether you are on track to attracting and becoming all that you desire.
"You can choose what you feel."
Right now, what does your feeling barometer read? On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 is feeling bad; 10 is feeling great), how good are you feeling right now? The higher your level of feeling good, the more powerful positive energy you are emitting. Conversely, if you gave yourself a 2 out of 10 rating, the more powerful negative energy you are emitting.
By simply becoming aware of your feeling barometer, you can then consciously become aware of any negative feelings you are experiencing and then do what is necessary to change them.
CHASE AWAY YOUR INNER SABOTEUR
We all have an inner saboteur. It is an inner voice that is telling you that you cannot do something, be someone, or have something. Recognize this as fear. It is normal to feel fear anytime you go outside your comfort zone. Anytime you do anything new and different, there is always some sort of inner voice telling you that you can't do it, that you aren't good enough, or that you may fail. Just recognize that the inner voice is you! The only person that is stopping you from living your greatest life is you!
"Recognize your inner saboteur." CHAPTER 3
The THIRD Step
Keep the End in Mind
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
Keep the End in Mind
At the end of your life, what do you want to be remembered for? What words and actions would describe your greatest self? This is an important question to ponder. If you were to pass away today, what would you want to be said about you at your memorial service?
"Begin with the end in mind."
It is important to take the time to reflect and determine whether you are truly living your greatest life or whether you have fallen into what I call the "treadmill trap." You're running and running and running fast, with no destination in mind, and arriv-ing nowhere quickly.
Many people discover with this exercise that they are not at all what they would want to be if this were the last day of their lives. If this is the case with you, it is time to reevaluate how you are living your life.
LIVE BY YOUR VALUES AND WITH PURPOSE
Begin with the end in mind. At the end of your life, what do you want people to say about you? This will determine what your most important values are in your life. This will guide you to discover your true purpose on this Earth.
For instance, if you would want people to say something like "Samantha was a caring and loving mother and wife ...," then obviously family is one of your core values.
If you are currently unhappy with certain aspects of your life, chances are the way you are now living your life is not in alignment with your values.
"Align yourself with your values."
Using the above example, if family is one of your values, yet you have been spending twelve-hour days at the office and traveling all the time, you are not living in alignment with your value of family.
Whenever you are not living in alignment with your values, the result is always dissatisfaction in that area of your life. This dissatisfaction is obviously generating negative feelings, which emit negative energy, which results in attracting more dissatisfaction into your life.
Being aware of your core values and then deliberately living and creating your life around those values will generate inner peace, freedom, happiness, and a life lived with purpose. CHAPTER 4
The FOURTH Step
Nothing is, unless our thinking makes it so.
Do you know that we create the meaning of everything we experience in life? We decide whether an experience is positive, negative, or neutral. Many people believe that the meaning they give to their life experiences is real. The truth is that we choose how we interpret whatever we experience in life. Your interpretation of life events is based on your past experiences, beliefs, and upbringing. Realize that your interpretation of the situation is something you have made up. It is all a creation of your mind. You actually have the power to choose what feelings you attach to each situation, event, and experience. If you are not feeling good about something that has happened, think and reflect what interpretation you have given to that event.
For instance, if you were just let go from your job, and you are really upset about it, ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way?" Your answer may be, "I can't believe my employer fired me. I worked so hard for ten years for them, and this is how they treat me. They don't appreciate me. They never appreciated me." In this scenario, you have made losing your job mean that your employer doesn't care about you and that you are not appreciated by them. Your interpretation of this situation can come from many different realms. It could be that in the past you were ignored by family members and were told you would amount to nothing; this could be the reason you interpret the situation in this specific way.
"You choose negative, positive, or neutral."
On the other hand, if you had a very loving, caring family environment growing up and were always told how wonderful you are, you could react to this situation differently. It may mean nothing personal to you, and you may say, "Oh well, what can you do? These things happen. Now I can look for my next, even better job opportunity."
These are two different interpretations attached to the same situation. Since we are the masters of interpreting all of our experiences, why not choose to interpret every single experience as positive? Since we are going to make up a meaning around the situation anyway, it may as well be some interpretation that makes us feel good. Every cloud has a silver lining.
The easiest way to do this is to separate the facts of the situation from your interpretation of the situation. The facts in the above example are: You worked for a company for ten years. You were let go from your position at this company. Those are the facts. That's it. Everything else is your interpretation. When you are conscious of this, you can choose your own positive meaning to attach to that event. You know you can even choose to make it mean nothing at all, to just let it go and move on.
It is important to recognize the difference between the facts of what happened and your interpretation of what happened. The sooner you are able to do that, the sooner you can begin consciously choosing interpretations that are positive in nature. These positive choices will keep you in a positive energy field no matter what the circumstances.
NOW, REREAD YOUR STORY AND ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS:
1. Write out the facts of what happened (not your interpretation).
2. Now, write out your interpretation of the situation.
3. Turn that negative interpretation into a positive interpretation in that situation. Feel the positive energy flowing through you as you release that unwanted negative scenario. _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________ CHAPTER 5
The FIFTH Step
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
Let go. Let everything that is currently happening in your life "be." Accept your life exactly the way it is and exactly the way it isn't.
Accepting your life exactly the way it is doesn't mean you are resigning yourself to "this is how it will always be" and just giving up. That is not what letting go means.
"Resisting is futile."
Stop resisting your life. Whenever you are feeling uncomfortable, unhappy, or any other negative emotion, you are resisting something in your life. You are saying to yourself and the universe that something is not right here and that it should be another way. Resisting is futile because it does not change the situation.
Resisting emits negative energy and attracts more of the same negative situations into your life.
You have two choices here. You can resist what is going on in your life and continue feeling unhappy, frustrated, and upset, or you can let go and accept it. By simply accepting your life exactly the way it is and letting go of the way you think it should be, you are letting go of all resistance. You are freeing yourself from your negative emotions.
LIVING IN THE WORLD OF "SHOULDS"
How often do you use the word "should"? Anytime you are using the word to describe how things "should" be in your life, or how a situation "should" be, or how a person "should" act or behave, you are resisting what is. Be aware that this is generating negative energy.
Many people have a tendency to try to control everything in their lives. In fact, anytime you are feeling resistance, it is actually a sign that you are trying to control a situation or a person. Recognize the fact that the only thing you have true control over is yourself. That's it.
WHAT YOU RESIST PERSISTS
When you refuse to let go and insist on resisting what is going on in your life, you are merely attracting more of the same into your life.
"Release and let go."
Recognize that anytime you are feeling a negative emotion, you are resisting something. Uncover what you are resisting, then let it just be okay exactly the way it is. This release of resistance will automatically shift your negative energy to a positive one. Remember, as long as there is resistance in your life, you will continue to attract more of the same. Let go.
Accept the fact that "it is the way it is," and just let it all "be." CHAPTER 6
The SIXTH Step
Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.
—Sidney and Suzanne Simon
Forgiveness is the key to emitting and creating positive energy. Forgiveness is also one of the most difficult states to achieve.
We have all experienced negative events and situations in our lives. Many of us are holding grudges and resentment toward individuals for these events that happened.
By holding on to grudges, you are emitting self-defeating negative energy. Think about it. How does it feel when you think of that person? Do you feel good, or do you feel bad? If you are feeling bad, you are still harboring negative feelings toward that person or situation and therefore are emitting negative energy. It is equivalent to dragging around an anchor with you at all times.
In order to release that anchor and free yourself from these grudges and negative feelings that you are dragging around, you must let go of the feelings. How do you do that?
By forgiving. When you forgive, you are releasing that anchor.
Author Ann Lamott said it best:
"In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die."
In reality, the only person dying is you. When you forgive someone, you are not doing it for the other person; you are doing it for yourself.
"Forgiving releases you."
The simple act of forgiving automatically releases all the negative energy and feelings that were there for that person. Once you are able to forgive, you will feel a sense of inner peace and freedom, strengthening your positive energy field.
BE THANKFUL FOR THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE
For every negative experience that enters our lives, there is always something to learn and a way to grow from it. Identify the lesson learned. Recognize how you have grown from it and then be thankful for the experience. It is from our difficult experiences that we learn and grow the most. You can allow yourself to let go of the anger, resentment, and negative emotions that are attached to that individual or situation.
You are only hurting yourself by not forgiving. Stop resisting forgiveness. Forgive, and let go.
Forgiving others is important to emitting positive energy, but forgiving yourself is just as important. Sometimes we hold grudges, anger, and resentment toward ourselves. As we live our lives each day, we are learning. At times, we have made mistakes, been unkind, and behaved in a less than loving manner. We need to find the inner strength to forgive ourselves for our pasts. The past is who you once were, even if it was just moments ago; it is not who you are now, or necessarily who you will become in the future.
"The past is who you once were."
You have the ability and freedom to start your new life, to be the person you know you truly choose to be. CHAPTER 7
The SEVENTH Step
Unleash the past
Your past is not who you are, it's who you were.
Unleash the Past
Many people believe that the past is what has made us who we are today. And although I agree to a certain degree, that doesn't mean we must continually relive our past mistakes or regrets. By holding on to the negative feelings we have about our past, we limit our ability to become what we want to be, both today and in the future.
That doesn't mean we should pretend the past never happened; it just means we should leave the past where it belongs—in the past. Many of us take the negative feelings from our past experiences and bring them into our present and even into our future.
For example, if in a past relationship your partner cheated on you, that experience may affect future relationships. Each time you meet someone new, you may be apprehensive, be wary, or completely avoid getting serious altogether.
Excerpted from The Law of Attraction Plain and Simple by Sonia Ricotti. Copyright © 2008 Sonia Ricotti. Excerpted by permission of Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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