The Legend of Joe Golfer: A Salute to the Regular Player

by Chris Kalwa

Overview

The Legend of Joe Golfer offers regular recreational golfers the helpful golf tips and suggestions of a personal caddie—at one’s fingertips. Whether you’re an unskilled beginner, or a seasoned advanced-level player, this book will improve the quality of your game. For those Joe or Jane Golfers who’ve recently purchased the best brand-name clubs and golfing equipment available, visions of perfectly crisp ball striking and precisely placed shots don’t immediately appear in play as advertised. Instead, you continue spraying your bad shots all over the course—like a groundskeeper watering the course grounds for the next day’s play. Chris Kalwa has been there, he’s done that, and he feels your bad-shot aches and pains. In The Legend of Joe Golfer, Chris shares his uniquely crafted golf story: a passionate twelve-year journey of endless playing trials and tribulations. This book provides all regular players with a looking-glass through which anyone can relate to and connect with. You’ll understand why you got addicted to this ancient and beautiful game, and learn how you can best prepare for and enhance your enjoyment of golf.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781491849859
Publisher:	AuthorHouse
Publication date:	02/07/2014
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	386
File size:	6 MB

Read an Excerpt

The Legend of JOE GOLFER

A SALUTE TO THE REGULAR PLAYER

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By Chris Kalwa

AuthorHouse LLC

Copyright © 2014 Chris Kalwa
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4918-4987-3

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CHAPTER 1

Golf Gone Wild

Who is Joe Golfer? And why is his story worth telling?

Telling Joe Golfer's story is for the millions of regular recreational golfers worldwide who desperately want to enjoy golf. The Legend of Joe Golfer is written for every Joe and Jane Golfer who plays or simply enjoys reading about the ancient and beautiful game of golf. (Every time you read "Joe Golfer", please replace with "Jane" if you're female. We often reduce "Joe and Jane" to "Joe" for simplicity only.) Whether you are young or old, male or female, beginner or seasoned, a hacker wanting to break 100 or a serious competitor wanting to play "scratch golf" someday, then the golf journey you are about to experience may be what you've been searching for.

The Legend of Joe Golfer has been rattling around inside my head for the last five years. As I struggled to progress in my own golf-playing journey, from the age of 40 to now, I wondered whether my challenges as an evolving regular golfer could inspire an easy-to-read, understandable, and hands-on golf road map that provided practical and achievable steps to help others realize and fulfill their golfing potential.

Today, with The Legend of Joe Golfer, I'm confident that you'll immediately enhance and improve your personal outlook and performance as Joe Golfer—and do so faster than with any other golfing resource.

But before my golf story begins, it is important to acknowledge the legacy of every Joe Golfer who has made an honest and valiant effort to play this challenging-yet-rewarding game. You deserve a military salute, a toast of your favorite beverage, a thumbs-up, a high-five, a fist-bump, or a kiss on each cheek. You should be congratulated for your rare moments of golf-shot brilliance, and also for your persistence and perseverance. You consistently make your best shot attempt—on every hole—despite how many times you screw up along the way.

Regardless of your growing frustration on the course, you continue marching forward. And what about kudos for putting up with the usual bull-crap that happens during almost every round you've played: being ridiculed for slow play, laughed at for hitting dangerous hooks or slices into deep forests or unsuspecting victims, or heckled for taking too many shots to complete a hole. And I must give each and every Joe Golfer a 21-gun salute for creating, manufacturing, and delivering those bizarre and never-to-be-repeated moments that you can brag about and amuse your buddies with for years to come. This Bud's for you!

It's your time to be in the winner's circle! Shakespeare wrote, "All the world's a stage ... and we are merely (its) bit players." Could he have been talking about all you Joe and Jane Golfers?

* * *

The PGA pros live in a different golf world from the rest of us. Fame, fortune, and acknowledgement of excellence have been regularly bestowed on golfing legends like Tiger Woods and Jack Nicklaus; both have won hundreds of tournaments and dozens of Majors between them in their brilliant pro careers (plus bundles of prize money). But we don't need such achievements to love golf. On Joe Golfer's recreational golfing playground, we will simply enjoy experiencing the challenges and exhilaration of the game.

Although I discuss some of the pros' amazing feats within these pages, this story is not specifically about them. The Legend also does not focus on the gifted, aspiring amateur golfer who struggles to eventually make a living on a pro tour, although I make an exception to this when I talk about my dear friend and best golf mentor, Paul Guille, in chapter 2. Paul deserves full credit for inspiring me in my golf journey.

Many talented club pros—the home-course-playing regulars who try to break 80 every time—might not fully relate to the challenges of a Joe Golfer. But even club pros had to start somewhere to learn and grow in the game.

* * *

Joe Golfer's intriguing golf journey begins with the semblance of skills required to survive a complete round of golf from one week to the next throughout the season. But what about other factors that exist beyond the players' initial playing ability? Short-season players—those limited to enjoying the game from late spring until mid-fall, especially during those warmer summer months—often feel disappointment at putting their clubs to bed during the long, dark, and chilly off-season. This Joe Golfer grew up surviving endless five-month stretches of bone-chilling Canadian winter—except when I sought refuge playing on the west coast of Vancouver, B.C.—where I sometimes stretched my golf season to 10 months a year.

These days, though, I'm again forced to count the endless cold days until the frozen grass awakes and starts to grow again. Anyone like me, who is a short-season-playing Joe Golfer, will always envy the good fortune of those regular players blessed with year-round golf weather.

* * *

Most Joe Golfers either struggle to break a score of 100 on 18 holes or they simply never do it, period. Why is this scoring benchmark for the regular golfer so difficult to achieve? Is it because we lack the necessary skills to improve our game and score? Is it due to not practicing and playing golf regularly enough to facilitate the improvement we desire? Or is it caused by lousy equipment, idiotic playing partners, horrible course conditions, or by our constant negativity, rampant mood swings, or a fundamental dislike for the game? Aside from whatever combination of concrete obstacles or shallow excuses any Joe Golfer chooses for justifying their poor performance on the course, there is one basic golfing truth that no one can dispute: Golf is the most difficult game one can play. Case closed.

Perhaps this difficulty factor in golf explains why millions of Joe Golfers around the globe experience an instant rush of jubilation, perform personal victory dances, and picture themselves as the hero in their own ticker-tape parade every time they break 100, then 95, then 90, and so on.

To be more realistic, the typical player is constantly searching for lost golf balls or cursing when landing them in hazards. Chaos ensues, scores balloon high into the stratosphere, blood pressure rapidly rises, and senses of mental and emotional balance and well-being are thrown screaming off a steep cliff. (Thanks for coming out. Better luck next time!)

These unpredictable golf trials and tribulations, moments enjoyed and cursed during the same round, are universal experiences that every Joe Golfer must deal with. Although some golfers pick the game up faster and thus learn to refine their shot-making skills in less time than others who take much longer to do so, the typical ups and downs a player endures are the same, regardless of skill level. Throughout my own golfing evolution toward becoming a half-decent ball-striker (breaking 90 and preparing to shoot consistently in the mid-80s), my story will resemble growth experiences that most regular players can relate to.

My hope is that by sharing these personal golf anecdotes, you—Joe Golfer-can drastically shorten your journey to better golf by igniting your desire to accelerate your own game toward an improved and refined level of play. You will enhance your overall satisfaction and enjoyment for golf, and thus cultivate within yourself a natural enthusiasm to continue playing this amazing game for the rest of your life.

* * *

My personal evolution toward becoming Joe Golfer didn't begin when I was climbing out of my crib and crawling across the floor. No. During the early 60s in Toronto, Canada, the average Canadian kid was tossed a hockey stick as soon as they started grabbing for stuff. Long, cold winters were reserved for playing hockey—on the ice and on the street—while hot, humid summers were spent enjoying soccer, baseball, tennis, and swimming.

My initial fascination with golf began as I watched my older brother Eddie K. practicing his golf shots in the park across the street where we grew up (often causing resentment from other park enthusiasts). Here's my favorite story about Eddie "The Kamikaze Striker" K:

The Bazooka Skull Shot, Side Window, Park Clubhouse

On one unforgettable day, my brother took me with him to our neighborhood park to hit practice shots. Eddie K. had unintentionally crafted a new style of shot: "skulling" the ball off his blade (leading) edge and smashing a torpedo-like drive across the park.

As he launched a handful of balls from a smooth grassy area, about 30 yards from our house, Eddie had a mixed reaction to where his shots were ending up. Instead of sailing his balls safely over the small forest of trees, he threaded them between the trees as though they were arrow slits in a castle. Most of his shots found their way by bouncing and rolling to within a target zone, near the shopping mall on the next street over.

After retrieving the golf balls from the other end of the park, Eddie and I began firing shots back toward the house. During one unbelievable strike, my brother decided to see how far he could hit his 9-iron diagonally toward the far corner of the park. His shot challenge was to launch a high-trajectory strike over the park clubhouse.

Just as Eddie was about to strike his ball, a slightly older fellow appeared out of nowhere and stepped into the restroom of the clubhouse. The confined space had a solid concrete floor, brick walls, a thick porcelain sink, and a peeing stall—a toilet surrounded by metal walls and door.

As he was setting up to conduct his business, Eddie blasted his bazooka skull shot of rocket-launching ferocity. His smash whistled off the mark, straight as a laser beam. It whizzed only a few feet off the ground for the first leg of its flight, then suddenly rose upwards and zoomed in on the tiny restroom window with radar-like accuracy.

In a split second, we heard the popping sound of breaking glass as this missile-ball pierced through the one-square-foot window frame. The sound of the ball ricocheting and rattling around continuously inside the room was unforgettable: SMASH-CRASH-BANG-BAMBOOM-POW-RATTATTATT! Imagine hearing a rapid-fire sequence of fireworks blasting away without end in a small enclosed space. Needless to say, the guy inside started freaking out and screaming, "What the $#%@ is going on??!! Miraculously, he managed to sprint out alive while still swearing, until he spotted us laughing hysterically from a distance.

He immediately darted toward us. Eddie and I had just enough time to snap back to reality, grab the few clubs we had, and take off as fast as we could in the opposite direction. (Today I give this angry guy credit for chasing us down two long blocks before we lost him.) After running to safety, stopping and catching our breath, we started laughing again about what had just happened. And that surreal golfing moment was forever etched in our memories. When Eddie K. took a break from terrorizing innocent bystanders in the park or surprising the group ahead of us on the course with his targeted brand of first-strike shot-making, I had a golden opportunity (at around age 14) to covertly snatch his clubs away to do some practicing in our home park. I only needed to carry a few of his high-loft irons and wedges to familiarize myself with some sort of a short game (nothing further than 120 yards at this point). Despite being a natural left-handed ball-striker, adapted from playing hockey and baseball, I had no choice but to learn to swing my brother's right-handed clubs.

* * *

Following in Eddie's footsteps, I began my first practice sessions in the park by terrorizing park enthusiasts and recreationalists alike with longer and fatter low-trajectory Kamikaze-style (unintentional) strikes toward human heads. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I must have made my brother proud. The thrill of running away from angry park victims, however, was getting to be an exhausting exercise.

From this early golfing experience, I quickly learned and understood a valuable sporting lesson: "When the fun is gone, move on." It took me only one summer to focus my athletic preference to the less stressful game of tennis. So, for the next 30 years, tennis became my sporting passion ... until the game's lateral-grinding footwork forced my wonky knees to retire. In my search to find a replacement sport immediately after turning 40, golf became my only logical choice as a lifetime sport.

Throughout the early stages of my recreational tennis-playing career, I still enjoyed watching the pros compete on the PGA Tour on TV during the late 60s and 70s. I witnessed mind-boggling golf mastery and creative shot-making; a common comradeship of sportsmanship among fellow competitors; and a deep respect, appreciation, and humorous interaction among most legendary greats like Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Gary Player, and Lee Trevino. I also remember the free-and-easy sense of informal and joyous interplay and emotional connection between these golden-era players and their respective fan clubs.

Although some of today's pros on tour still exhibit flashes of class and sportsmanship during an intense round, they are in many ways quite different: more serious, businesslike, and obsessed with athleticism. (I'll compare golf's golden-era pro game to the modern era's game in chapter 14 and follow up in chapter 15 by looking at how the modern game affects Joe Golfer's playing potential.)

It wasn't until Tiger Woods exploded onto the PGA Tour as a professional—particularly his first major blow-out victory at the '97 Masters by a mind-boggling 12 strokes—that my interest and enthusiasm for golf was ignited again. I felt excited by the prospect of winding down tennis and taking up golf seriously to play it for the rest of my life.

So in 2001, a year after my final arthroscopic surgery was completed, I resurrected my golfing career. At the tender age of 40, I began my painfully satisfying journey as Joe Golfer.

* * *

I picked up my first set of clubs—one club at a time—from different thrift stores throughout the neighborhood. It included a smorgasbord of styles and brands chiselled from the Stone Age. Each iron, wood, and putter—no driver included—had a different clubhead design and weight. Each club shaft varied in its length. Each grip had its own material composition, pattern, degree of wear and tear, and, of course, every club in my worn-out bag had a unique feel. As I recall, only my 7- and 9-irons came from the same set.

But I never looked at this crusty old set of clubs as a liability. Instead, I welcomed the challenge of gradually and methodically improving my shot-making enough to survive a full round of golf on a regulation-sized course.

A year after starting golf again, my brother-in-law, Paul Guille, gave me a better set of irons—all from one set—that included an antique-style "mallet" putter. I got them re-gripped and I immediately learned to swing more consistently with this uniformly calibered set. Then Paul offered me an assortment of golf lessons, tips, and philosophies and tied it all together for me in one digestible golf-swing recipe.

Over the next few years, under Paul's engaging and entertaining tutelage, I made immediate and drastic changes to my grip, stance, and balance at address, swing mechanics, weight shift, in-the-slot contact and hip clearing, club release, and other golf-swing fundamentals. The benefits I enjoyed from applying Paul's recommended adjustments were immediate and powerful. My "impact and explosion"—squarely hitting down and through the ball and propelling it further and faster—became more solid, and it resulted in helping me manage my shots with better distance control and precise placement. From that point forward, I wanted to practice more often at driving ranges and open fields and to play more rounds per week throughout each season.

After mastering the feel and rhythm of my swing, I decided to take on a newer and more modern and sophisticated set of clubs. So, before the next season began, I purchased my first high-octane metal 3-, 5-, and 7-woods and driver, complete with stiff graphite shafts. And over the next few seasons, I scored a power-boosting set of irons: easy-hitting 3- and 4-iron hybrids and a smooth-striking set of 5- through 9-irons and a pitching wedge. Their bottom-weighted cavity-back clubheads automatically added 20 yards to my driving distance. My "perfect" set of clubs was finally complete when I added a comfortable mallet putter, my versatile must-have 60-degree lob wedge, and a heavy-headed sand wedge, with its monstrous bottom flange to blast balls out of bunkers (maybe even wet concrete) at will.

My current clubs of medium price-range feel so perfect in my hands that I can't really use them as an excuse for bad shots anymore. I never believed that spending tons of money on clubs or frivolous golf accessories would improve my overall game. My reasonably priced clubs gave me the quality and feel I desired for improving my power and precision, without having to break the bank. Really, aren't green fees once or twice a week for an entire season of golf high enough to allow Joe Golfer the privilege of playing?

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from The Legend of JOE GOLFER by Chris Kalwa. Copyright © 2014 Chris Kalwa. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgments, vii,
Foreword, xiii,
Section I: The Evolution of Joe Golfer: Making the Regular Player Legendary,
1. Golf Gone Wild, 3,
2. A Special Tribute to My Best Golfing Friend, The Inspiration Behind Joe Golfer, 19,
3. The Golfing Mindset: What Makes Joe Golfer Tick?, 30,
4. Game Preparation: Getting Ready to Tee Off, 48,
5. My *Top 10* Suggestions for Enhancing Joe and Jane Golfer's Enjoyment of Golf, 63,
Section II: Joe Golfer's Response to Bad-Shot Challenges: Effective Rescue Shots,
6. Joe Golfer's Rescue Shots: Challenges and Strategies, 89,
7. Short-Game Rescue Shots, 99,
8. Long-Game Rescue Shots, 123,
Section III: Joe Golfer's Life-Enhancing and Game-Building Physical Fitness: Three Pillars of Aerobic Conditioning, Strength Training, and Nutrition,
9. How the Growing Physical Fitness Craze Created Better Golfers, 149,
10. Pillar One of Physical Fitness: Aerobic Conditioning, 161,
11. Pillar Two of Physical Fitness: Strength Training, 172,
12. A Weekly Strength-Training Workout: Preferences, Strategies, and Routines, 225,
13. Pillar Three of Physical Fitness: Nutrition, 239,
Section IV: A Retrospective Look at Joe Golfer's Golfing Evolution: The Golden Game vs. the Modern Game, the Art of Timeless Swing Adjustments, and More Cool Golf Stuff,
14. Pro Golf's Golden vs. Modern Eras, 261,
15. How the Evolution of Modern Golf Affects Joe Golfer's Playing Potential, 277,
16. My Top 5 All-Time Golf Lists from the Golf Academy's Resource/Entertainment Library, 301,
17. Joe Golfers of the World Unite! Share Your Favorite Golf Gone Wild Stories, 312,
18. Reflections and Recollections at the 19th Hole Lounge: Remembering the Art of Timeless Swing Adjustments, 330,
About the Author, 367,