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The Maternity Leave Breastfeeding Plan: How to Enjoy Nursing for 3 Months and Go Back to Work Guilt-Free

Overview

Finally, a sensible plan for women who return to work
after a three-month maternity leave

Anyone who has ever had a baby has heard the prevailing medical wisdom that "breast is best" for baby's first food. Solid science stands behind that wisdom: Excellent studies show that there are immunological and other benefits for the breastfed baby. On the other hand, doctors and breastfeed- ing advocates rarely appreciate or even acknowledge the ...
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Overview

Finally, a sensible plan for women who return to work
after a three-month maternity leave

Anyone who has ever had a baby has heard the prevailing medical wisdom that "breast is best" for baby's first food. Solid science stands behind that wisdom: Excellent studies show that there are immunological and other benefits for the breastfed baby. On the other hand, doctors and breastfeed- ing advocates rarely appreciate or even acknowledge the challenges that go along with breastfeeding until baby is ready for solid food -- anywhere from four to nine months. The simple and reasonable approach is one that many doctors and breastfeeding advocates unfortunately treat as sacrilege:
Limit breastfeeding to the length of your maternity leave.
As Dr. Wilkoff explains, the truth is that women who nurse for three months (or until their maternity leave is over) provide their children with an optimal start in terms of nutrition and can have the same rewarding experience as mothers who nurse their children much longer. In contrast to the insistence of militant breastfeeding advocates, he offers an important and comforting message: Breast is best for as long as you can comfortably manage it.
There are no guilt trips or political agendas here. Instead mothers will find:
a practical plan for establishing a nursing schedule
troubleshooting advice, including how moms can avoid becoming the baby's pacifier
help with making a smooth transition back to the workplace
and more
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780743213455
  • Publisher: Touchstone
  • Publication date: 8/6/2002
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 240
  • Product dimensions: 0.55 (w) x 5.50 (h) x 8.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Will Wilkoff, M.D., has been a practicing pediatrician for more than twenty-five years. He is the author of two previous books, Is My Child Overtired? and Coping with a Picky Eater, and lives in Brunswick, Maine.
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Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1: Do We Really Need Another Book About Breastfeeding?

It doesn't make much sense. Nursing an infant would appear to be such a simple biologic process. We seem to get along just fine without detailed instructions on how to perform our other "natural" body functions. However, "experts" continue to write books about breastfeeding. Amazon.com already lists more than two hundred titles that offer advice about nursing. How could there possibly be anything new to say about breastfeeding babies?

After all, humans have been nursing their offspring for tens of thousands of years. Why do we need another self-proclaimed expert to tell us how to do it? Particularly if that "expert" doesn't even have breasts himself.

There are numerous reasons why we need a fresh perspective on breastfeeding. First, despite the efforts of physician groups such as the American Academy of Pediatrics; public health officials, including the Surgeon General; and other breastfeeding advocacy organizations, we have made little, if any, progress in encouraging women to nurse their newborn infants. Only about 60 to 65 percent of new mothers decide to breastfeed. Of those women a good many stop nursing before their babies are a month old. By the time they are six months old, 20 percent of all babies are still being breastfed; among babies whose mothers have returned to work, only 10 percent of all babies are still breastfed. Our society is doing a poor job of recruiting women to breastfeed and is doing little or nothing to create an environment that will support those mothers who decide to nurse their babies. In the nearly thirty years that I have been practicing pediatrics, these statistics have not changed significantly.

Many mothers who have managed to nurse longer than a few weeks have told me that they have found breastfeeding confining, tiring, and unsatisfying. Although they may plan to nurse their next child, these women see this as a decision to make a sacrifice for the good of their babies. The mothers who abandon their nursing plan frequently feel that they have failed at their first attempt at parenting.

The bottom line is that we continue to do a poor job of promoting what most scientists agree is the best first food for infants. The books that have been written about breastfeeding, while factually accurate, have somehow missed the mark. We do an even worse job of educating and supporting those women who do accept the challenge, and when they don't succeed, we make them feel like failures.

Over the last quarter century of practicing pediatrics in a small college town on the coast of Maine, I have had ample opportunity to experience this sad state of affairs firsthand. I have attempted to encourage mothers to nurse when I speak at childbirth classes. I offer as much advice and emotional support as I can to the women who decide to breastfeed. Although a recent survey of breastfeeding in our community suggests that my patients are being nursed longer than those in other pediatric practices, I continue to encounter mothers who have stopped breastfeeding prematurely. Many of them have tearfully shared with me their frustration and disappointment.

Frustrated myself by the fact that too few women are choosing to breastfeed and saddened by the fact that many who do nurse aren't enjoying it, I decided to see if there was something more I could do to improve the situation. First, I had to consider the reasons for our poor success rate. Although the anatomy and physiology of the human breast has not changed in thousands of years, the demands on women have changed dramatically. When we were hunter-gatherers roaming the African savanna, mothers and their infants were in constant contact. Babies could breastfeed at will while mates and clan members were available to protect and nurture the vulnerable nursing mothers. Even as recently as a century ago the majority of women were at home with their children. Although they shouldered the majority of the household chores, mothers still had the time to breastfeed. Inexperienced mothers also had easy access to their mothers and older sisters who could function as knowledgeable breastfeeding advisers.

Compare that to the situation at the beginning of the twenty-first century. In 1970 less than 40 percent of women with children worked, but today 55 percent of child-bearing women will return to a job when their maternity leaves end. Today's new mothers may not have been breastfed themselves, and even if they were, the baby's grandmother may live too far away to serve as a hands-on adviser for more than just a few days. When a new mother does return to work, she and her baby will be together for slightly more than half of each day, and more than 50 percent of that time both will be (or at least should be) sleeping. This whole process doesn't sound so "natural" anymore, does it? It won't be surprising if breastfeeding doesn't come naturally.

This mismatch between the biologic demands of nursing and the lifestyle of the average working mother wasn't the only discrepancy I discovered as I continued my search for answers. I realized that the way we were promoting breastfeeding was actually discouraging some women from nursing. For example, the American Academy of Pediatrics has told parents that "exclusive breastfeeding is ideal nutrition" for the first six months and suggested that "breastfeeding continue for at least twelve months." Obviously the academy didn't intend to discourage women, but six months can sound unrealistic to a mother whose maternity leave is over in three.

In their attempt to promote what they know is the best way to feed babies, other breastfeeding advocacy groups are perceived as militant zealots who are willing to nurse their infants and young children anywhere, anytime, and to solve any problem. It isn't surprising that women who know they will be returning to jobs in twelve weeks are intimidated, discouraged, or just plain turned off by advice from sources that apparently don't understand an individual's situation or preferences. In other words, by overemphasizing the commitment that breastfeeding requires we have discouraged many working women from nursing, and we have made others feel guilty when they can't meet those unreasonable expectations.

No question about it, breastfeeding does require a bigger commitment than formula feeding during the first week or two when a new mother's body is adjusting to its role as a nutritional source. However, women don't have to nurse for a year or even six months to provide their babies with many, if not most, of the benefits of breastfeeding. Isn't there some way that we could get this message out and promote breastfeeding realistically in a style that would make sense for, and appeal to, working mothers?

As I looked for more answers, I discovered an interesting research paper written by two nurse-educators. These researchers observed that the working mothers in their study group who had planned shorter breastfeeding durations reported higher satisfaction with breastfeeding while still meeting the demands of their professional roles. I had noticed the same phenomenon myself. Maybe we could help more working mothers enjoy rewarding nursing experiences by advocating a shorter, more realistic breastfeeding plan. Focusing our promotional and educational efforts on this achievable goal of breastfeeding for the first three months, the length of a typical maternity leave in the United States, was the obvious choice.

As I thought more about why women stopped breastfeeding, I remembered the tearful voices of nursing mothers who had told me how tired they were and how tied down they felt. In fact during my research I discovered several studies by other physicians and nurses that listed maternal fatigue as the primary reason that mothers stopped breastfeeding. However, I know plenty of nursing mothers who haven't complained about being exhausted or confined by nursing. What was different about their experiences? The answer was that these women had not allowed themselves to become their babies' pacifiers. These mothers, sometimes by good luck, sometimes with my assistance, had helped their infants learn to put themselves to sleep. By separating breastfeeding from the sleep process, these women were able to nurse longer and enjoy the experience while those women who had allowed their breasts to become pacifiers were becoming sleep-deprived zombies. Doesn't it make sense to incorporate good sleep management strategies into our breastfeeding education programs?

It also occurred to me that the majority of women who stop nursing prematurely do so in the first few weeks. The first ten to fourteen days can be filled with anxiety, uncertainty, confusion, and discomfort. Nursing mothers who can ride out this stormy period without switching their babies to formula are very likely to continue breastfeeding until they return to work. Most mothers begin their breastfeeding experience in a hospital, though, unfortunately, many hospitals lack enough trained staff to help nursing mothers get a good start. In fact, many hospitals have policies that unintentionally discourage breastfeeding. Only a handful of hospitals in this country have even attempted to become certified as "Baby-Friendly" by WHO (the World Health Organization). Even fewer have been awarded this certification that recognizes hospitals with policies and practices that promote breastfeeding. If we want to help more women succeed at breastfeeding, we had better sharpen our focus on those critical two weeks immediately after the baby is born.

After mulling over these and other reasons for our disappointing breastfeeding record, I was ready to think about what we could do about it. First came the realization that I needed to scrap the "we" concept. Although I am a card-carrying member of the American Academy of Pediatrics, I am certainly not a "joiner" by nature, nor am I a person with much political savvy or influence. I also knew that the approach to breastfeeding that was beginning to crystallize in my mind was going to be too radical to be promptly embraced by most traditional breastfeeding advocates.

Although, swift, decisive, and substantive action by the executive and/or legislative branches of the federal government could create an economic environment that would encourage more working women to breastfeed, something told me that wasn't going to happen. If a Democratic administration that had been talking about the plight of the working woman for eight years couldn't get it done, there seemed little hope that any progress would be made during subsequent administrations.

A few enlightened corporations have created personnel policies that promote breastfeeding (only 7 percent provide designated rooms for pumping), but I didn't see much evidence that the example they set was going to trigger a national trend. It was beginning to look as though if I wanted to help working women fit breastfeeding into their lives, I was going to have to act on my own. I had already written a couple of books for parents that had been reasonably well received. If only I could convince a publisher that I had something new to say about breastfeeding. Fortunately the people at Simon & Schuster realized quickly that there was room on the shelves for yet another book about breastfeeding, and so The Maternity Leave Breastfeeding Plan was written. I will promise you as I promised them, this book really is different. If you are a working woman, it can help you enjoy a successful and rewarding breastfeeding experience.

Copyright © 2002 by William Wilkoff, M.D.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgments

  1. Do We Really Need Another Book About Breastfeeding?
  2. What Is the Maternity Leave Breastfeeding Plan?
  3. Why Should I Breastfeed My Baby?
  4. I'm Afraid I Won't Like Breastfeeding Because...
  5. An Energy Crisis in the Making
  6. Caught Between Cycles, Understanding Your Place in History
  7. How Long Should I Breastfeed My Baby?
  8. Preparing Your Mind and Adopting an Attitude
  9. A Plan for the Three Months Before You Deliver
  10. Your Husband's Role in the Plan
  11. D-Day
  12. The First Day...and Night
  13. Day Two
  14. The First Night Home
  15. Days Three, Four, and Five
  16. Is My Baby Gaining Weight?
  17. Week Two: Winning the Battle Against Fatigue
  18. Week Three: "I Will Not Become a Pacifier..."
  19. Week Four: Adjusting to the New Reality
  20. The Second Month: Striking a Balance
  21. The Third Month: Enjoying Your Baby and Making Transitions
  22. The Rest of the Story (Months Four Through Twelve)
  23. Nursing Your Second Child
  24. In Defense of Realism

Appendix 1. Burping Your Baby

Appendix 2. What Medications Can I Take While I Am Nursing?

Appendix 3. Nursing Your Premature Infant

Index

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First Chapter

Chapter 5: An Energy Crisis in the Making

While breast milk may be the best first food you can offer your child, it is expensive. I'm not talking about dollars and cents. In fact, you can expect to save money in the first three months that you nurse your baby. The cost I am referring to is in energy expenditure.

Considering that most of the lactating mothers I know complain that they feel tired most of the time, I have always suspected that breastfeeding was a drain on a woman's energy reserves. However, it wasn't until I read A Natural History of Parenting (Three Rivers Press, 1998) by naturalist Susan Allport that I realized just how critical the energy cost of lactation is to the survival of all mammalian species, including our own.

Ms. Allport observes that mammary glands (breasts) are far less efficient at supplying nutrients than is the placenta. She notes that some scientists even view the mammary gland as a parasite on the mammalian female because nursing's energy cost is so high. While this may not be the most appealing image, the point is that nursing comes at a price your body must pay.

The higher energy cost of lactation means that while you may have been able to work right up until the day you delivered, you may not have the stamina to continue nursing when you return to your job. Regardless of how motivated you are, biology has dealt you a difficult hand to play.

Are there solutions to this inevitable energy crisis? Yes! One strategy that other mammalian species have employed is to assign helpers to assist the lactating female in finding food and conserving energy. In some cases this may be another female or group of females who can help her care for her offspring. In other species this helper is the male who fathered the baby. He may hunt or forage for food and protect the mother and infant from predators and other environmental threats.

There are obvious parallels between these strategies and your situation. During the first few weeks after you deliver, you will probably be lavished with offers of help from your husband, mother, mother-in-law, sister, and friends. Everyone expects you to be exhausted during the immediate postpartum period. However, in short order they will expect you to resume many, if not all, of your old responsibilities. After all, you aren't pregnant anymore. But what everyone has overlooked is that you are still nursing, and as you and I now understand, this means that the energy demands on your body are even greater than when you were pregnant.

The bottom line is that if you are hoping to continue nursing when your maternity leave is over, you must reach out to some of those helping hands who flocked to your assistance immediately after you delivered. I hope that your husband is planning to assume some nontraditional roles, such as shopping and cleaning the house, because he is the obvious first choice as an energy-saving assistant. You and he can read in chapters 9 and 10 some specific suggestions on how a team effort can improve your chances of being able to nurse adequately after you return to work.

Unfortunately most women are not very successful in finding surrogates to assume their home-based responsibilities. A study published in 1998 found that working mothers spend thirty-two hours each week doing household chores and twenty-eight hours each week caring for children...a total of only seven hours per week less than women who were full-time stay-at-home mothers.

Don't allow yourself to fall into the if-she-can-do-it-I-can-do-it trap. Although lactation is a significant drain on every nursing mother's body, there are a few women who have been blessed with an unusual amount of stamina. These "super mothers" seem to be able to work full-time, chair the United Fund Drive, take continuing-education classes in Portuguese, and continue to nurse their babies. Women like this are made of a little different stuff than the rest of us and should be considered the Olympic athletes of the breastfeeding world.

Don't let an encounter with one of these Olympians dash your hopes of continuing to nurse when you return to work. It may not be as easy as you anticipated, but if it doesn't work out, you needn't feel that you are any less of a woman.

Copyright © 2002 by William Wilkoff, M.D.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 25, 2004

    THIS BOOK IS A LIE!!!! DON'T BUY!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have been exclusively pumping for 2 years, and have a lot of experience with long term breastfeeding. My son has only had two minor, short-term colds during that two years and is by far the healthiest one in the family. A childs immune system does not fully develop until the age of 5, and this book is a bunch of garbage. READ the book 'BREASTFEEDING: BIOCULTURAL PERSPECTIVES' By Katthryn Dettwyler and you will be amazed at all the evidence out there and will WANT to continue breastfeed your baby.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 6, 2003

    Try Breastfeeding! You might keep it up!

    Dr. Wilkoff's book is some fresh air for working moms who may not otherwise start breastfeeding knowing they need to return to work and won't fulfill the AAP's '6 months exclusively and continuing at least 12 months'. As a working mom, and pediatrician, I returned to 80-120 hour work weeks at 3 months. I have successfully breastfed for 8 months now without formula, but I know this is not the path for everyone. This book offers moms the option to breastfeed for as long as they are on maternity leave, then continue if desired, or switch to formula knowing you gave your baby the best possible start. I think more moms would continue breastfeeding once they started.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 21, 2002

    What a load of crock!

    Every mom's choices are personal, and any amount of breastmilk is better than none. That being said, a book that provides a practical plan to stop breastfeeding so that mom does not even try to work and pump, however, is a disservice to all. No mom should feel bad for not feeling that she can continue to breastfeed once she returns to work, but this book discourages moms from ever trying by making it seem like only supermoms can do it. This illusion will discourage all but the most dedicated of moms. I am a working and pumping mother who is a mid-level associate attorney in a regional law firm. I work betweeen 60-80 hours a week and have been working and pumping for 7.5 months, since my baby was 3 months old. I am not a supermom, as disparaged in the book. Rather, my husband and I have cut out some of the extras in our life so that I can continue my breastfeeding relationship with my daughter. My house is not as clean, my car has not been washed regularly, and we have a less active social life unless we can include our baby. Please give working & pumping a try. It's not difficult to wean or supplement with formula if you need to. You certainly don't need to spend money on a book to tell you how to nurse for 3 months and then wean, if that's what you decide to do. Don't make this guy rich! There is great support, for example, at the working & pumping message board on www.parentsplace.com, as well as other internet sites.

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