The Misconceived Conception of a Baby Named Jesus

by Bill Burkland

Overview

Awarded First Place in the 2024 Chanticleer International Book Awards (CIBA) in the Category of Humor & Satire

"A fun, pithy sendup of one of the best-known origin stories." -Kirkus Reviews

"...a sharp, shrewd, witty, and occasionally wacky alternate-universe Bible..." -Greg Thompson, writer-producer

"This book merits book-club discussion and argument." -Glenn R. Miller, author

On a warm Galilean night, Mary and Joseph get to know each other (in the biblical sense) in a secluded garden in Nazareth. Nine months later, Mary's pious mother, seeing that her young, unwed daughter is pregnant, enlists the help of a pompous high priest to characterize the pregnancy as divine, of God's seed. When Mary refuses to go along with her mother's scheme, she and Joseph enter a battle with her parents over every aspect of the birth and the fate of their baby.

As word of a miraculous virgin birth spreads through Bethlehem, factions form, and allegiances shift among unscrupulous shepherds, dubious Wise Men, an elderly innkeeper, an earnest but malodorous peasant and an aging cat with a penchant for prophecy-all trying to answer the crucial question: Is the baby named Jesus truly the Son of God or merely a mortal born of earthly parents?

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9798888245415
Publisher:	Koehler Books
Publication date:	12/05/2024
Pages:	246
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.69(d)

About the Author

Long ago, Bill Burkland spent his misguided youth attending Mass at Our Lady of Fatima on Sunday mornings and catechism class on Monday afternoons. In both cases, he pretended to listen earnestly while his undisciplined mind wandered to thoughts of girls, football, horse racing, and vices that are too numerous to list here but have been fully disclosed in several epic-length confessional visits. Unfortunately, these and other bad habits have followed Bill into adulthood resulting in the writing of The Misconceived Conception of a Baby Named Jesus. Despite these shortcomings, Bill has somehow managed to stay married to his high-school sweetheart, Shawn, for over 40 years, and they have somehow managed to raise three wonderful kids, each with equally wonderful partners.Prior to writing the Misconceived Conception, Bill spent 18 years as a Senior Manager and Director at Amazon.com with assignments in the US, Luxembourg and the UK. He held leadership roles in Amazon's Retail, Kindle, B2B and Alexa organizations.

Editorial Reviews

2024-10-24
Burkland’s religious satire offers an alternative retelling of the conception of Jesus.

The story begins with biblical figures Isaiah and Micah delivering prophecies. Isaiah is depicted as a drunkard whose prophecies are intentionally ambiguous, while Micah communicates mostly with a group of cats. The latter learns of Isaiah’s prophecy of a virgin birth and tries to one-up him by predicting that the birth will be in Bethlehem. Joseph is a humble carpenter from Nazareth, while Mary is a strong-willed young woman sent to that town by her parents to separate her from her rebellious friend, Vashti. Mary and Joseph develop a romantic relationship, and as they travel to Bethlehem for the Roman census, they anticipate the disapproval of Mary's strict, religious parents. When they arrive, they meet “The Keeper,” a 103-year-old innkeeper who helps Mary bring her child into the world in a stable. Mary’s father, Jerome, and the High Priest join forces and convince drunken shepherds to spread a fabricated story about an angelic visitation and coerce the Wise Men to proclaim the miracle of Jesus’ birth. Soon, Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus leave Bethlehem to escape the ensuing chaos. As the family settles into their journey, they reflect on the strange events that have shaped their lives; the story concludes in a modern setting. Burkland’s satirical recasting of the New Testament account of Jesus’ origins is most successful in its humorous character descriptions, as when it paints Jerome as “a noodle of a man with…rapidly receding hair that looked as though a handful of thin, lethargic worms had been indiscriminately dumped on top of his tiny head.” The dialogue is similarly clever, as it offers critiques of the era’s conventions, as when Mary’s mother, Elisheba, says to her daughter: “You may be a grown woman of fourteen, but you are in my house.” Devout Christian readers will take issue with some aspects of the tale, but overall, it offers a humorous departure from the original text that many readers will enjoy.

A fun, pithy sendup of one of the best-known origin stories.

Kirkus Reviews