The Modern Gentleman, 2nd Edition: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy, and Vice

( 1 )

Overview

Refine your cool with this quintessential sourcebook of manners and mischief. Author–raconteurs Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro offer timely advice and timeless wisdom for adventurous gents curious ...

See more details below
Paperback
$11.42
BN.com price
(Save 28%)$15.99 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (20) from $5.50   
  • New (12) from $8.91   
  • Used (8) from $5.50   
The Modern Gentleman, 2nd Edition: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy, and Vice

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$13.99
BN.com price

Overview

Refine your cool with this quintessential sourcebook of manners and mischief. Author–raconteurs Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro offer timely advice and timeless wisdom for adventurous gents curious about:

JAZZ & FLASKMANSHIP
FRIENDS & GAFFES
DATING & ENTERTAINING
TWEETIQUETTE & MODERN LIT
TUXEDOS & TATTOOS
CAVIAR & CRASH PADS
BYO, BBQ & IOUs
 
With new sections covering the Digital Man, the Local Epicure, and the Bespoke Gent, this second edition provides a panoramic snapshot of the enlightened modern man: witty and poignant, traditional but tech savvy, flirtatious yet courtly. So roll up your yoga mat, uncork a Barolo, spin some vinyl, and crack open this freshly updated edition of The Modern Gentleman: your Man Cycle is peaking.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
“Peculiar, brilliant, funny, smart, and it will turn you into a cool person, like CNN’s Anderson Cooper and me.” 
—Augusten Burroughs, Entertainment Weekly
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781607740063
  • Publisher: Ten Speed Press
  • Publication date: 4/26/2011
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 336
  • Sales rank: 377,958
  • Product dimensions: 5.10 (w) x 7.10 (h) x 1.10 (d)

Meet the Author

Phineas Mollod uses his Vanderbilt law degree to counsel his wayward pals in divorces and landlord-tenant imbroglios and write about technology law in New York City. 
 
Jason Tesauro forewent law school for a mastery of wine, spirits, style, and sustainable food. You’ll find him swinging a croquet mallet in Richmond, Virginia, or wielding a champagne saber as he conducts the Modern Gentleman Seminar Series and other events of consequence around the world. 

Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One
 
Out & About
 
Digital Man     3
Artful Conversation     14
Jukeboxing     19
Flaskmanship     21
Elevator Etiquette     22
At Table     24
Skinny-Dipping     27
Comings & Goings     29
Family Reunions     33
Amen Corner     35
 
Digital Man
Those who balance avatars with their actual visage at least embody the modern half of gentleman. On the leading edge are those chaps who properly integrate technology into daily life and haven’t uttered the terms “cellular telephone” or “World Wide Web” since Windows 2000 ruled the roost. There is a necessary distinction between digital and analog selves: your virtual image, like hygiene, can’t be ignored, but if stripping away your snazzy updates and smartphone leaves you bland, ’tis time to unplug and recalibrate. If everyday’s but an orchestrated online striptease, vid by pic by clever quip, then you’ve forgotten how to enjoy this thing called life.
 
The Bullhorn: Social Media
Social media casts a wide data stream ideal for news blasts (“Nate’s taco truck spotted”) and easy favors (“Need jumper cables”). It’s California-wildfire fast for announcing bacchanals, get-out-the-vote rallies, or celebrity obituaries. Standard PR, crowdsourcing, and level 1–2 thanks can live here too. Intimate affairs, hushed family news, and level 3+ thank-you’s (last night’s bail money, borrowed summer home), however, require more pointed notice.
 
By now, even your parents have skin in the digital game, but establishing an account and managing it successfully are as different as do-it-yourself versus pro-grade websites. Sterling posts that hit in the late evening are lost in next day’s feed, but coffee-hour weekday updates and cocktail-hour weekend posts feed the e-churn. Unlike online dating, where specificity aids in compatibility, social sites beg for discretion, particularly when prospective employers monitor the Web for unwise blurts and XXX party pix. To post something spicy without leaving a trail, consider the Ghost Post, whereby you submit a comment to an existing thread and then hit Delete; involved parties will see it, but later-comers don’t get the privilege. Caginess aside, even if your avatar is a cartoon, post at least one up-to-date photo; otherwise, people presume morbid obesity or flapping linguine hair.
 
To keep your online rep in winning form, mind your Facebook manners when facing these common scenarios:
 
Congrats Fix: Attaboy alerts about promotions and graduations are welcome good news, but artists, buskers, and budding virtuosos should create dedicated Fan pages to avoid turning friends into mere fanboys.
 
Sympathy Fishing: Reportage of maladies, breakups, and sick parents eventually cross the line from human connection to irksome bathos. To commemorate the dearly departed, a post-interment mini-elegy beats live blogging the ICU flatlining.
 
Mundane Overdose: A high percentage of posts devoted to caffeine, TGIF riffs, and the current heat wave don’t pass WGAFF (Who Gives a Flying Fig) minimums.
 
AM Radio: Hardcore partisan crossfire devolves quickly into vitriolic cable news patter. 
 
TMI: Customize certain status/alibi updates to office colleagues only (“Pig roast sounds divine, but stuck finishing a big project”) or exclude second-rate chums when broadcasting private party particulars.
 
Digi-Litter: Sending virtual daiquiris or clogging the news feed with Mafia Wars updates secures your place in the Hall of Lame.
 
Chat: It’s never impolite to ignore a Facebook chat request (“Hey, are you there?”). On the other hand, quality posts earn high marks:
 
Provocative conversation starter: “Can I tap that?”
 
Quirky current events: “They repealed the pasties tax . . . strip club cover charges expected to drop by 20 percent.”
 
Witty innuendo: “Jenna is finally stimulated by Bush’s package.”
 
Quickie Pix: Impromptu mobile uploads, foodie porn (splendid dishes, wine labels) trump edited albums posted a month later. Proud parents should post their offspring’s cuteness judiciously, though new moms are exempt from the Baby Pix Overload Doctrine.
 
You’re It: Besides friends, occasionally tag random objects for comic effect. On an empty shot glass: “Jeanine’s wits last seen here,” or on an overexposed tramp stamp: “The crack of Dawn.”
 
Friending
Like sex on the first date (or Arizona’s border crossing law), some F’bookers have an ironclad stance regarding unsolicited new friends. Neither the No-way-José nor the All Aboard policies are ideal, so be selective without squelching serendipity. Requests sent postmidnight indicate a horny hubby pining for exes or a dissatisfied babe wanting out of the ’burbs. When making requests to relative strangers, include a memory jogger to reestablish an out-of-the-blue connection.
 
Managing secondary, tertiary, and quaternary social circles in real life would require endless coffee dates and happy hours, but social sites forgo face time for frequency. Over time, certain people are LinkedIn, while other obligatory friends and distant family are “hidden” from your newsfeed. In the end, your dearest friends are often the ones you encounter the least on social media sites, justifying the notion that “digital” isn’t that far from “disposable” in the dictionary.
 
Incidentally, unless you’re married, engaged, or living in sin, the relationship button is irrelevant, though gals might employ it freely to sidestep unwanted suitors. There’s no need to befriend someone you’re dating until you’ve made it through the first fight—or unless you aren’t yet old enough to rent a car. 
 
Tweetiquette
Twitter, Tweethearts, & Tweeps. Like the lyrics of a country song, sometimes 140 characters are sage poetry, other times it’s 129 %$#&*!@ characters too long. Think of Twitter as a mutated, post-orgy offspring, a cross between a bullhorn, a bathroom stall, a pulpit, and a haiku. The bullhorn angle means you can amplify your voice; the stall part of it renders any responsibility for profundity inapplicable; the pulpit aspect gives your passion a channel and audience, all set to a laconic haiku beat. Thus, the most successful tweets are those that boast a specific, empowered, and amped-up nugget worth lingering at a urinal for. Savvy marketers might exploit Twitter as another venue for self-promotion and celebrity spin, but others, especially Tehran protesters, see an important tool and hear tweet music in the grassroots symphony of flash mobs and hashtags. To get started, tout your one-liner chops by tweeting about a niche topic or major live event (Super Bowl, season finale) and see how many retweets and followers you earn.
 
Clandestine touch: Broadcast anonymously with an untraceable Twitter alias that gives you bandwidth to vent, share, or gossip (but don’t tweet me on that).

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Introduction       x
 
Part One: The Gregarious Gentleman       1
Chapter One: Out & About       2
Digital Man • Artful Conversation • Jukeboxing • Flaskmanship • Elevator Etiquette • At Table • Skinny-Dipping • Comings & Goings • Family Reunions • Amen Corner
Chapter Two: Entertaining      38
Group Dynamics • Hosting • Intimate Gatherings • The Active Table • Houseguests • Charcoal Briquetiquette • Bachelor Party • Best Manning
Chapter Three: Wooing      65
Flirtation • Dates • The Open Triangle • Do-It-Yourself • Long-Distance Runaround • Exes & Ohs • Taking a Break • The Crack-Up
 
Part Two: The Inner Gentleman      95
Chapter Four: Gentlemanly Knowledge      96
Literature • Poesy • Classical Music • Jazz • Fitness • Soothsaying • Man Cycle • Fonzarelli Moves & Legerdemain
Chapter Five: Appearance & Style       126
Sartorial Savvy • Accessories • Knots & Cravats • Pyjamas • Eyewear • Hatiquette & Umbrella Policy • Tattoos • Hair, Hygiene, & Habits
Chapter Six: Domesticity       154
Domestic Policy • Vittles • Single Space • Heartifacts • Toiletiquette • Spitting, Hiccoughing, & Other Expulsions
 
Part Three: The Potent Gentleman       179
Chapter Seven: Venerable Vices: Alcohol, Tobacco, & Fireworks       180
Spirits • Beyond & Tonic • The Solitary Drink • Oenophilia • Bubbly • Working with a Hangover • The Ethic of Alcohol • Tobacco • Substances • Gaming • Golf • The Ponies
Chapter Eight: Between the Sheets       221
Romantic Recon • Prophyletiquette • XXX: Phineas’s Phavourites & Tesauro’s Titillations • The Afterglow • To the Power of 3
Chapter Nine: Trouble      239
Sticky Situations & Solutions • Conversational Gaffes • Secrets, Lies, & Confidences • Office Romance • Losing It • The Bile Barometer • The Apology
 
Part Four: The Wayfaring Gentleman      263
Chapter Ten: Travel            264
Motoring • Sleeper Trains • Theorem de Valise • Guest Decorum
 
Part Five: The Ceremonial Gentleman       283
Chapter Eleven: Public Relations      284
Politics of Friends • Social System • Correspondence • Flora • Gifting • Handy Gifting Guide
Chapter Twelve: Beyond Bachelorhood      303
The Fourth Decade • The Rock • Proposals • Vows • The Good Husband
 
Afterword       314
Bibliography       316
About the Authors       319
Index      320

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 1 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(1)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 1, 2013

    Lost art reborn

    Lots of good info and etiquette for the overwhelming amount of men who have no idea of how to be classy.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)