The Modern Lover: A Playbook for Suitors, Spouses, and Ringless Carousers [NOOK Book]


Having presented the definitive portrait of the enlightened male in THE MODERN GENTLEMAN, Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro explore affairs of the heart (and temptations of the loins) in this rollicking sequel. The authors begin by charting the life of the evolved bachelor, offering sage advice on such topics as “One-Night Stands,” “Demystifying the Flogger,” and “Webslinging” (dating online). Mollod and Tesauro next contemplate the transitional man's path from the “Me Cycle” to the “We Cycle.”...
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The Modern Lover: A Playbook for Suitors, Spouses, and Ringless Carousers

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Having presented the definitive portrait of the enlightened male in THE MODERN GENTLEMAN, Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro explore affairs of the heart (and temptations of the loins) in this rollicking sequel. The authors begin by charting the life of the evolved bachelor, offering sage advice on such topics as “One-Night Stands,” “Demystifying the Flogger,” and “Webslinging” (dating online). Mollod and Tesauro next contemplate the transitional man's path from the “Me Cycle” to the “We Cycle.” Whether you are trying to convince close friends of the charms of your new love or testing the long arm of puritanical parents by “Living in Sin,” Mollod and Tesauro have a stiff drink and cool counsel at the ready. And for those modern bachelors who are getting hitched, the authors have copious advice on staging an unorthodox wedding with class, managing the financial merger, stoking the bedroom coals, and embarking on “Daddy Detox.” Packed with sharp wit and insightful commentary, THE MODERN LOVER is the definitive guide for guys negotiating the road from bachelor pad to bedroom fads to brand-new dad.
  • This sequel to THE MODERN GENTLEMAN (40,000 copies sold) offers essential advice and instills savoir faire for avowed bachelors (rounding out the sexual resume; test-driving toys and tolerances), serial monogamists (balancing provocative friendships with at-home loyalties; avoiding the dreaded state of ‚ÄúP-Whipped‚Äù), and husbands-to-be (managing in-laws and outlaws; minding ‚ÄúLights & Darks‚Äù).
  • Mollod and Tesauro are monthly manners columnists for Men's Health magazine.
  • Authors Mollod and Tesauro have championed manners ‚Äúmakeovers‚Äù on CNN and The Montel Williams Show.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Gentlemen, uncap your highlighters! With The Modern Lover, lawyer Mollod and marketing director Tesauro offer helpful advice for navigating basic romantic issues and beyond. Here you will find delightful mini-treatises on any conceivable topic that may pop up in a single or a married man's lifetime, from conjugal prison visits to scoring points by tidying up at home. As in their prior The Modern Gentleman, the authors discuss best practices in language both refined and outrageous. Though some advice (e.g., regarding creating a decent wine collection) is a bit too complex for all but the most dedicated adherent, this book recommends a reasoned approach to most everything and is a pleasure to read. Mollod and Tesauro together write a monthly column for Men's Health magazine. On the other end of the spectrum is the considerably less slick Scott, a Houston attorney who advises men on the basics. With boyish exuberance, he demonstrates that getting a gaggle of dates is easier than pie. Chapters offer rudimentary how-to on being attractive (dress well, get in shape), ice breakers, sample compliments, and whom to approach (any woman you find attractive) and whom to avoid (women with rings). Scott's bluntness is sometimes unintentionally funny, e.g., the two-page chapter titled "Get Near Her" literally details the physical approach, much like a playbook for a caveman. Unrefined as it is, Scott's encouraging, reassuring work has homegrown charm and is an optional purchase for larger collections; Modern Lover is recommended for larger collections. Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.
From the Publisher
“If Miss Manners wrote for modern guys and had a pierced nipple, this would be the result. It's completely hysterical and shockingly useful.” —Augusten Burroughs, Entertainment Weekly“Packed with information, frank, splashed with drink recipes, helpfully indexed and infused with joie de vivre, this guide outlines how to engage in genteel debauchery and remain a decent chap.” —The Tennessean
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780307781031
  • Publisher: Ten Speed Press
  • Publication date: 12/5/2012
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 320
  • File size: 6 MB

Meet the Author

JASON TESAURO is a wine-and-spirits consultant and performance poet. As cofounder (with Phineas) of the Rhubarb Manor Croquet Club, he placed second in the first annual Memorial Day Croquet Soir?©e and recently betrothed the Fair Elizabeth, who finished first. He lives in Atlanta, Georgia.
PHINEAS MOLLOD received his law degree from Vanderbilt and is a member of the New York County Lawyers Association and the Kentucky Bourbon Circle. He lives in New York City.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

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Table of Contents

Introduction 1
Part 1 The Evolved Bachelor 5
Chapter 1 Beyond the Black Book 6
One-Night Stands
Provocative Friendships
Wild Oats
Matrons & Maidens
February 14
Living in Sin
Chapter 2 Nocturnal & Naughty 58
Bedroom Archetypes
Oral Pleasure
Tantric Love
Toys & Tolerances
Demystifying the Flogger
The Swing Set
Chapter 3 Trouble 91
Night on the Couch
Day on the Couch
Alcohol & Pharmacopoeia
The Red House
Ethic of Infidelity
Interlude: Phineas's Phlames & Tesauro's Trysts 131
Part 2 The Transitional Man 135
Chapter 4 The One 136
The Brady Bunch Factor
Ringless Carousers
Final Hurdles
Last Fling Before Palookaville
Fringe Benefits
Chapter 5 Ring Bearer 175
Altar Ego
Mr. & Miscellany
Ringless Proposals
Contemporary Nuptials
The Guest List
Saber the Day
Wedding Table Pecking Order
The Dynamic Groom
Part 3 The Stalwart Husband 209
Chapter 6 Love's Labour 210
Lights & Darks & Dishes
The Gentleman's Cellar
Green Thumb
The Bitchin' Kitchen
Finances & Common Cents
In-Laws & Outlaws Monthly Review
Chapter 7 Momentum 260
His & Hers
Spouseless Carousing
On-Time Departures
Rhythm Method
Going to Pot
Part 4 The Polished Spouse 279
Chapter 8 Tenured 280
Modern Anniversaries
Pearl Necklace
Daddy Detox
New Dad
First 100 Days
Bibliography 302
Index 304
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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 12, 2005

    Modern Lover: A Playbook for Suitors, Spouses, and Ringless Carousers

    TML digs deeper into the complexities of a maturing relationship, starting with how to recognize when the chemistry is there. The authors presume a certain level of intelligence among their readers, and for the beau with a growing intellect there is plenty of inspriration to enlighten oneself. As a married woman, I really appreciate the section on Toys and Tolerances. It offers fun and naughty suggestions for adding some spice to the bedroom, in turn strenghtening the marital bond, which the authors cleverly refer to as the 'We Cycle'. As a mother, one of my favorite sections is New Dad. Tesauro and Mollod offer very honest info on what the 'First 100 Days' are like and how to be sensitive to the new mother's needs while taking care of himself. It's a scary but managable time and great that a (prospective) father can get some straightforward insight from another man. All in all, I loved this book and think it's just as good a read for women as it is for men. The authors cover a lot of topics, so many different types of relationships and inspire the reader to be a more 'Evolved Bachelor', all the while maintaining his personal style. The charts, graphs and illustrations are fun too.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 12, 2005

    Hot & Happening Volume

    When I saw in Newsweek that Tesauro and Mollod had come out with a new book I went right out to the bookstore. I own their first book, The Modern Gentleman, and it continues to provide a manner pick-me-up years later, so I couldn't wait to pick The Modern Lover. In their new book, the authors pick up where they left off. Dating, wooing and filling your head with jazz and literature and a touch of vice was handled in the first book, now this is the stuff you need to know now that you've landed a semi-serious mate. They start with a witty description of 'One-Night Stands' - everything from the memorable ones to those better left out of the memory box. They cover the ins and outs of Valentine's Day and dating someone out of your age bracket. They also touch on the ever enjoyable phrase p-whipped - the syndrome when one is so infatuated with a lover that you sacrifice your own wants and needs leading even your best friends to mock you. As the book evolves, so does the relationship as they delve into more serious matters like living in sin, infidelity and a night on the couch. Througout the book they use similar stimulating graphics like those in the Modern Gentleman as in the section on compatability - determining if the person you are with is really the right one for you. They then touch on proposals, engagements, weddings and they even have a section for ringless carousers - those in a committed relationship who never legalize it. Thrown in are the original sections akin to the Modern Gentleman--Daddy Detox, The Brady Bunch Factor, The Red House, not to mention a list of essential modern cookbooks--I have already dogeared that page for future reference. The last three chapters are dedicated to being a good partner, in the house and out of the house - from lights and darks to green thumb, who doesn't like a guy who can do the laundry and plant bulbs all in the same day. The book even has a list of all the appropriate anniversary gifts to give your wife - who could really keep track of all of those without it, and one-night stands is capped off with two sections on being a New Dad. They make even the mundane, exciting: simply the best and most scathingly funny material on Inlaws (and Outlaws), Guest Lists, Aphrodisiacs. This book fits in every room: the coffee table, nightstand, gentleman's briefcase, lady's handbag, and required reading for every serious suitor, hubby, wife, and consort. And, it fits many moods, whether you want advice (practical and long-range), good writing, or just a laugh. Heartily recommended.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 12, 2005

    Modern Lover: A Playbook for Suitors, Spouses, and Ringless Carousers

    Finally, there are men on the relationship scene who can talk about the ins and outs of more than just the ol' in-n-out. These guys skip the usual blather on playiing games in romance and get right down to the foundations and funnies of love's nuances. The chapter on weddings is absolutely the best thing written on modern nuptials and without a doubt captures all that's wrong with by-the-book, cookie-cutter weddings. I especially appreciate the tips on long-term love that you'll never find in some Idiot's Guide to a Happy Marriage or one of those sappy, fall-in-love-every-day books. They cover the naughtiness of bachelorhood's twilight, but devote much of the book to the nitty gritty of running a marriage after the honeymoon. Best of all, the writing is exceptional. I first read about the authors in Writer's Digest, and then heard one of them on CNN. I read their first book, but this one's even better. Not recommended for high schoolers, but any college grad will thank you.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 12, 2005

    What a Gem

    I repeat...What a gem! Tired of tired, vapid, books that spout the same tired advice on dating, love, relationships, and marriage? Yes, yes, we've all seen the recycled sentences that pass for 'expert advice.' The Modern Lover is a supreme book, something for everyone--for males and females, single or committed, married or single (or ringlessly connected). What an honest look at wild oats and single life--the authors really put it all in perspective, showing the lessons that are learned from younger days that can and should be put to use for landing The One and maintaining a healthy marriage. The writing is so polished and original, and the ideas so fresh, and above all, the humor is second to none. It makes a great gift. Everything from one-night stands to new dads, compatability tables to chococlate, cheese and wine cellars, to improving a flagging sex life to handling a night on the couch. The good, the bad and the sexy, all mandatory reading for any couple or sexy single. Your nightstand is bare without this great book. Highly, highly recommended.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 19, 2004

    Great book

    Extremely helpful. Very pleasant read. Five stars. Phineas is a great and influential writer, and very quirky. Highly recommended. This book will make you laugh but will recommend some positive changes. Enjoy, Ms. Nerha

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