From the Publisher
Rebecca Eckler is one of our most well-read and controversial contributors. Her signature voice and chatty style never fails to incite comments and heated discussion. Many of our most faithful readers admit that her byline alone is enough to instigate debate. -- Koa Beck, former editor in chief of Mommyish.com
This book reminds me of Chelsea Handler, if only she were a mother. ... [T]his book is laugh-out-loud funny. -- Joanna Track, founder of Sweetmama.ca
Huffington Post - Mitch Wolfe
Why Is This Writer Hated By So Many Mommy Bloggers?
There are supposedly over 40,000 mommy bloggers online these days. Most mommy bloggers write very informative, positive, life-affirming articles about relationships, pregnancies and the joys and challenges of raising children. All pretty safe and standard stuff.
Then there is Rebecca Eckler. I consider her a writer without peer in the mommy blogosphere.
Eckler writes with wit and sass. She is ribald, profane, and outrageous and always very funny. Eckler is a well-known columnist in Canada. She has written for theNational Postand theGlobe and Mail.She is also the author of nine books.
Eckler's most recent book isThe Mommy Mob, a witty expose of the cruel judgmental world of the mommy blogosphere. For several years,Ecklerwrote a twice weekly column for an online mommy blog, Mommyish.com. Eckler's book summarizes her most controversial columns and the sometimes insane vituperative reactions from her female readers.
The book is captivating. Once you get intoThe Mommy Mob, you can't get out.The Mommy Mobalso reminds me ofThe Sopranos, but with 4 inch stilettos. Bada Bling, B..tch.
In this book,Ecklerportrays herself as the victim of vicious attacks from outraged mommies for her unconventional relationships, parenting views and actions.
The blogging mommies' online criticism of Eckler is intense and nasty. What I like about Eckler is that she stubbornly marches to her own drummer. Eckler lives by her own code of conduct and behavior. And those who disagree with her, well, that's their problem. Not Eckler's.
But why is Rebecca Eckler hated by so many mommy bloggers? Why do so many seemingly sane women get their Laura Ashley knickers in a knot when it comes to Eckler?
For starters, Eckler loves sex. And she is not afraid to talk and write about the most intimate details of her sexual liaisons.
In her first book,Knocked Up,Ecklergives an hysterical account of how she and her then first fiancé, after a drunken engagement party, had wild unprotected sex. Resulting in the accidental conception that night of her first born, Rowan, aka, according to Eckler, "the best accident I ever had."
Fast forward several years later. InThe Mommy Mob, we learn that Eckler had split from her first fiancé. Her daughter Rowan, the love of Eckler's life is 10 years old. Eckler has literally hooked up with another dude, fiancé Numero Duo.
Eckler advised us that she had sex with her second fiancé on their first date.
Clearly, the sex is amazing, and the relationship is firing on all cylinders. BecauseEckleradvises that she convinces her second fiancé to reverse the vasectomy he obtained during his first marriage.
Obviously, the surgical procedure works, because Eckler is once again pregnant , within nanoseconds, with her second child.
Then Eckler goes all in and convinces the second fiancé to have sex with her daily throughout her whole pregnancy. Which apparently, they accomplish, even on those days, when Eckler confesses, she is not really in the mood. But her guy is, and Eckler, manfully womans up and as she wittily noted, "takes one for the team."
I don't know about you, women, but as a guy, this Eckler chick is a great literary character in her own right, rivalling Molly Bloom fromUlyssesand Defoe'sMoll Flanders.
And frankly, I have not read the depiction of great pregnancy sex since Updike's classicCouples.
However, according to Eckler, inThe Mommy Mob, the mommy bloggers do not share my admiration for Eckler's sexual "tell all".
Eckler reports gleefully that these anonymous female bloggers publicly "slut shame" her and call her all kinds of horrible names like, "whore and the "c" word that rhymes with "runt".
But whenEcklershares her parenting views on raising her Rowan and newborn son Holt, the mommy blogosphere fully goes ballistic.
Irate mommies chastiseEcklerfor relying on nannies, encouraging Rowan to ditch school, for outsourcing Rowan's bike lessons, for avoiding changing Holt's smelly diapers for months, for over programming Rowan and spoiling her with expensive gifts. And the biggest crime, permitting Rowan to treat Eckler's vibrator and tampons as toys.
What these mommies don't get is that at the core of Eckler's unconventional parenting, is her extreme love for and devotion to her children. And that makes all the difference.
I have met the famous Rowan and she is cute, smart, talented, self-assured and adores her mom. Prada case, closed.
I believe that the insane reaction to Eckler's musings reflect a society whose conventions are under attack. These traditionalists, Eckler's antagonists, come across as jealous, insecure, weak, scared and threatened. Kudos to Rebecca Eckler for exposing the soft underbelly of conventional Toronto society.
Women's Post - Tracy Matthews
The Mommy Mob: Online moms show their claws while the author laughs it off
Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada’s premier writing moms, at least, one of the top moms writing about her experiences with motherhood. With her background writing for some of Canada’s biggest newspapers and magazines it makes sense that she would delve head first into the world of mommy blogging, but the attitudes that met her in the pool are a bit surprising the antiquated image of the cookie baking Betty Crocker style mom is thrown by the wayside once you see how some of these online moms dish out (and, lets face it, Eckler is no angel herself).
“There was a time, a decade ago, when I loved reading other mothers’ comments,” says Eckler. “That was before the Mob Mommies got onto the Internet and started calling me a c*nt as often as they probably use the word hello. I really don’t want to read advice from or the opinion of a mother who uses the word c*nt, especially when she uses it to describe me. Would you? I may not always be Mother of the Yearas many, many Mob Moms have sarcastically commentedbut, sarcasm aside, what mother is perfect? Can you honestly say you’re a perfect mother?”
In typical Eckler style the author, who has two decades of experience writing for some of Canada’s top publication, takes her critics in stride with humour and irreverence as she recounts her struggles with motherhood, her family, and her often clashing ideologies with other moms online.
Consider every bad encounter cannon fodder for this funny and light hearted take on the oft serious and drudging topic of how to parent, and more importantly, how to parent better than the mommy next door or the mommy on the other side of the modem.
iVillage.ca - Adina Goldman
"I'm Ready To Move On." Rebecca Eckler On The "Mommy Mob" And Starting A More Private Life
As popular columnist and author of nine books, Rebecca Eckler has spun a career out of writing about being Rebecca Eckler. Now, 20 years later, 10 spent chronicling the travails of parenthood, she’s ready to leave the public eye. But first, she has a few choice words for all the nasty trolls.
In 2005,National Postran the headline "Rebecca Eckler is Pregnant," effectively launching her career as a “mommy blogger.” But Eckler’s articles on motherhood tapped into a vein of angry commenters -- an online community of disapproving fellow moms, many of whom Eckler skewers in her latest novel, “The Mommy Mob: Inside the Outrageous World of Mommy Bloggers.”
Who are the Mommy Mob and when did you first come across them?
The Mommy Mob are mothers who transform behind a computer screen. They become judgmental, insane sometimes, and really, REALLY rude.
Ten years ago, when I had Rowan, I felt that mothers weremuchmore compassionate. When I started blogging about motherhood and parenting, they were really happy to hear my thoughts. It's very isolating in the first year. And people were very supportive, especially when I admitted to Post Partum and The C-Section.
Then, slowly, over the years -- and especially in the last couple years -- with so many mommy bloggers and commenters, it was like watching "When Animals Attack!"
We need better etiquette, and with this book I'm hoping that mothers can see that there's no right or wrong way to be a parent. Unfortunately the Mommy Mobdoesbelieve there is only one right way: their way!
Do you think your experience is different because you’ve made yourself into a media personality? Wouldn’t it be different if you were just some random mom typing away on a personal Wordpress blog?
I think [I get a strong reaction] because I focus on little things, or things people think but don't have the platform to write. Many mothers, obviously, aren't writers. But Ido know for a factthat when I talk to my girlfriends, we all laugh at everything that is in the book, and all the topics. They are not media people.
It would be a sweeping generalization to say ALL mothers are judgmental and maniacal. But with the Internet, it's like they are two people: In real life, and behind the screen. I think, also, in this day and age, everyone wants their '15 minutes of fame.' For some, that’s commenting on a mommy blog.
I'm sure most mommy bloggersdowant an audience. They just have to work it! Or why else put it up on the Internet? Keep a journal!
But when you make yourself the subject, you are asking for personal feedback, right?
Feedback, yes. Conversation, yes. Disagree? Fine. But to go out and call me a 'slut' because I'm not married, or that my daughter is going to FAIL at life, because I help her out with homework? It's just not nice. It's not common courtesy. And that is what amazes me. There's a way to disagree without attacking.
People are just awful on the internet. Someone actually commented that my son should be eaten by an alligator because I took a vacation.
That vacation story was interesting because you seemed to be writing it because youknewthat leaving your 10 week-old to go to Mexico for a few days would be controversial.
Actually, it's really interesting. I didn't mean to cause so much controversy. And the truth is, I wasalready backfrom my vacation when that was posted. A lot of people don't understand the media as well. So I had to laugh, because I had been back for almost a week, and then the sh*tstorm came. But I was already home. Baby was still a lovely blob.
But you sound so surprised when people react that way -- aren't you trying to start a debate with your pieces?
Of course I want responses, I suppose. What's the point of writing if no one is reading, if you are a writer? But I really only want tostartconversations, not roll with the trolls!
Also, I just want to point out that the Mommy Mob, or a lot of moms these days, think they are experts...just because they had children. No two children are alike, just like snowflakes. What works for you may not work for me. What works for me, may not work for your children.
You write a lot about outsourcing parenting or doing things that have a significant price tag such as trips to sunny resorts etc. How much of the reaction to you is the GOOP-effect -- readers feeling like you are describing privilege as though it's commonplace?
Yes, I do write about trips. But, hey, I don't tell others how to spend their money. And, as we all know, money really only buys things, not happiness. I amso farfrom GOOP. I don't have personal chefs etc. But I have to say I did love "consciously uncoupling!"
Also, I do outsource, as you say. But I do not believe, as The Mommy Mob does, that diaper changing is a 'bonding experience' nor do I think my daughter is going to need therapy because someone else taught her how to ride a bike!
Do you think your daughter is going to be mad that you write about her?
I've been asking Rowan for a year, every time I write about her, if it's okay. She LOVES it.Iactually have a very hard time being 'public.' People think I like it. I hate it.
But you seem toown it!
In fact, I am dropping out of public life very soon. Time to move on! I'm of the firm belief that if something doesn't make you happy, or you're not that passionate about it, the party is over.
You have always excelled at telling your story, pushing buttons, getting a rise out of people, making them laugh. It's not making you happy?
Its not making meunhappybut I've now been writing for 20 years. I feel good about what I've done/accomplished.
I could write about parenting forever, I guess. But really the arguments/debates are always the same, just like Halloween comes every year. Also, I don't know what social media holds in the future. So I do have to think aboutthe safety/comfort of my children
Also, I'm not sure what else I have to say! I don't want to be 75, either, and writing about my 45 year-old daughter...although that would be kind of funny!
She'll probably write a book about you!
She probably could. I pray daily that she doesn't become a writer, only because it's a hard life.
What do you think future Rowan would call her book about you?
Let me think...."My Mother is Awesome!" ??? Sheloveswhen I read to her from my books. She thinks it's hilarious. Or maybe the book will be called, "Can Someone Get My Mother Out ofMyHouse?"Ha!
It's a new world in parenting. I actually say to Rowan, "Now I am your mother." Then, "Now I can be your friend." Then, "Now I'm your mother." On and on....