Gift Guide

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide

( 1 )


What is the mystery of Mystery Science Theater 3000?

You may have asked yourself, "What the heck are these talking shadows doing in the corner of my TV screen, riffing away with plucky--and hilarious--abandon in the face of some really bad movies?" Or something similar.  The answer, my friend, is right in this here official, 100%-MST3K-sanctioned book.

Or maybe you know all about the adventures of Joel, Mike, and the 'bots in the ...

See more details below
Available through our Marketplace sellers.
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (6) from $8.55   
  • New (1) from $175.00   
  • Used (5) from $8.55   
Sort by
Page 1 of 1
Showing All
Note: Marketplace items are not eligible for any coupons and promotions
Seller since 2014

Feedback rating:



New — never opened or used in original packaging.

Like New — packaging may have been opened. A "Like New" item is suitable to give as a gift.

Very Good — may have minor signs of wear on packaging but item works perfectly and has no damage.

Good — item is in good condition but packaging may have signs of shelf wear/aging or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Acceptable — item is in working order but may show signs of wear such as scratches or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Used — An item that has been opened and may show signs of wear. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Refurbished — A used item that has been renewed or updated and verified to be in proper working condition. Not necessarily completed by the original manufacturer.

Brand new.

Ships from: acton, MA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
Page 1 of 1
Showing All
Sort by
Sending request ...


What is the mystery of Mystery Science Theater 3000?

You may have asked yourself, "What the heck are these talking shadows doing in the corner of my TV screen, riffing away with plucky--and hilarious--abandon in the face of some really bad movies?" Or something similar.  The answer, my friend, is right in this here official, 100%-MST3K-sanctioned book.

Or maybe you know all about the adventures of Joel, Mike, and the 'bots in the not-too distant future.  Then you can skip those pages.  Really.  We won't tell.  You still need this book.  Because it's got more cool stuff from the writers and performers of MST3K.

More of what you'll find in the  Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide

*       More than 120 synopses of the more than 120 episodes of the Peabody Award-winning show

*       More fascinating, outrageous facts and tidbits about the making of each episode

*       More photos than your average issue of Tiger Beat

*       More of the most disgusting things ever seen on-screen by the MST3K writers

*       More than 49 (50, to be exact) of the most obscure wisecracks

*       More quizzes, worksheets, and a ten-step plan to help you gain control of your finances and your life (well, not really...)

*       More about your Area and what it can do for you

*       More Beverly Garland! Miles and Miles O'Keefe!

*       And much, much more!

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780553377835
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 4/1/1996
  • Pages: 169
  • Product dimensions: 8.00 (w) x 9.20 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Read an Excerpt

(NOTE:  During the sweltering summer of 1993,  after numerous requests by Comedy Central, we hand-picked thirty of our best shows and converted them into two-part, one-hour episodes. The result of our work was  The Mystery Science Theater Hour, hosted by Mike Nelson as the affable "Your Host," which  Mike so beautifully describes below. )

As the host of The Mystery Science Theater Hour, people approach me all the time and say, "Excuse me, where are the bathrooms?" (You see, it's just this kind of joke writing that makes MST3K the Peabody Award-winning show that it is). Actually, people want to know who that annoying old host is and why, why in heaven's name did we choose him? Well the secret's out--I'm proud to say that annoying old host is me! Okay, it's not actually a secret. My name's been in the credits as the host since the beginning, it's just that no one ever watched  that far. But I kid The Mystery Science Theater Hour.

The idea for the Host of the MST3K60m  was born out of the writers' deep and enduring love for a cloying, tweedy, septuagenarian by the name of Jack Perkins. Jack is, of course, your warm and affable tour guide through the sun-dappled libraries and the impossibly ladder-cluttered back stages of the cable channel A&E. He is a perfectly tailored, impeccably manicured, impossibly dignified old bird, whose on-screen mien suggests an inconceivably rich family and social life. The plangent tones of his voice seem to interact with the complex surfaces of an ox-blood wing-tip, the sound diffusing and abffusing, becoming ever more engaging, more amiable, invitingly sagacious. Jack is all soft tweed, supple leather, and a whiff of peaty single-malt.

Do not get the impression that Jack is stuffy. Far from it. Jack is equally comfortable enthusing on Blue Man Group as Gainsborough's Blue Boy. His knowledge of entertainment is vast, his love for it, illimitable.

I met Jack Perkins in 1991 outside the Universal Hilton in Los Angeles. He couldn't have been warmer as he asked me in essence, "Who are you, and what do you want from me?" I told him I had impersonated him on a television show. He told me he had never seen or heard of our show. I explained it. He nodded and looked at his watch. I walked away feeling like a boob. Jack walked away and continued weaving the rich, varied tapestry of his endlessly fascinating life. I imagine he discussed American Buffalo with David Mamet over biscotti and strong coffee. I had a couple of Ice beers and fell asleep in front of Bloodsport III in my hotel room.

Well, we may not be able to share in life's rich bounty with quite the same joie de vivre as Mister Perkins, but we sure as heck can make fun of him on our puppet show. Jack doesn't have a puppet show. Poor dumb clod. Hey Perkins, right here, pal!! HAAAA!!! Stupid idiot. Hey Perkins, I like your crappy restaurant chain, you stupid jerk!! Haa haa haaaaaa!!! Dumb bastard.


I hope I my little lucubration on our thought process regarding the selection of a host for the Mystery Science Theatre Hour has been helpful. Now if I could take a moment and explain the make-up procedure.

I would arrive at the Channel 11 studio in Golden Valley 14 hours before the scheduled start!   But all the doors were locked and I wasn't scheduled to start make-up for another 9 hours. So I'd go back home and go to sleep. I did this every time we shot, which was six times over a couple of months. I would then return to the studio where I would be barred entrance until, with enough identification and a dozen or so phone calls, they established my identity and I was grudgingly allowed to pass.

Crack make-up artist Crist Ballas and crack other make-up artist Glen would begin by applying a thick, highly toxic coat of naphtha right to my face, with special attention to the nostrils and mucus membranes in the mouth. Crist claimed it was make-up, but I knew.

Then he would get his specially designed Stinky Glue out of the refrigerator where he had it chilling so it was more uncomfortable. Tacky layers of this were then applied directly to my hair until the mistake was discovered and scissors and petroleum distillates were used to extract it. It was re-applied to the perimeter of my huge, expressionless face and a bald cap was put in place. It was discovered early on that my body is a thermal wonder, able to produce 300,000 BTU's consistently. This played hell with the bald cap, causing unwanted wrinkles, so it was anchored further down my back (right above my calves) and held in place with several bottles of Stinky Glue. If I lost concentration, my head would snap back alarmingly and union stage hands were hired at great expense to return my head to its normal position.

With the bald cap in place, Crist and Glen were free to begin applying more class-A carcinogens to my face and neck. Rubbery smelling make-ups and pungent suspensions were daubed, blotted and brushed on. Foul unguents and mephitic salves were poured into my ears and eyes. Latex things were adhesed to me. Finally, I was the host.
I was also very hot. My head was hermetically sealed and I was wearing a thick wool suit. It was the middle of summer and fire hydrants were melting. Luckily, the shoots were only 12 hours long. But we got a lunch break. It was very difficult to eat with all that make-up on, and one afternoon, while eating a chewy hoagie, I discovered I was also masticating my crepe-hair mustache.

But finally the end would come. Getting the make-up off was relatively easy. It was simply pulled off, taking most of my hair with it. The remainder was melted with copious amounts of citrus degreaser (this is absolutely true) that was scooped onto my face and left to sit for 20 minutes. Mmmm. At days end, my face and back were hairless, red and stinging. But we had done our puppet show proud.

Looking back on the MST3K60m, I remember the good times. The hot, stinky, sweaty, poisonous and sore times. I hope that's how you remember them, too.

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 1 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 20, 2000


    This is the ultimate guide to Mystery Science Theater 3000. This book is funny, gives information, and makes you read it over and over and over. I repeat, a must read!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)