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Joy Browne: I am a little exhausted, but excited. I am on book tour, what can I tell you.
Joy Browne: Good question, Marie! Basically, what I decided is that many problems arise from believing things that aren't true. Then, over a period of a couple of months, I came up with a list of things that fell into that category. So when I started narrowing them down, the information told me that there were 9 fantasies. Then the parallel idea was identifying things that people don't believe are true. I was originally going to get 10, then 12, but again the information told me there were 9 realities, but it came out to be 8.
Joy Browne: I wrote the book first, then I went back and put in examples that illustrated the point, so all the examples are based on true stories, either in my personal life or from friends and relatives -- who were thrilled to show up in my book, as you you can only imagine.
Joy Browne: I wrote this book for everybody. My program really shoots for men and women, urban and suburban. I really try to shoot for things that are universal. The book is good for anybody who is interested in thinking about themselves and has a problem that recurs, and they aren't sure why. I think it is a fun read. It is for you, Stefanie, it is for you. At book signings I had it bought for Christmas presents, and daughters buy it for mothers, and sons for fathers and other examples.
Joy Browne: It is most important to yourself. If you wake up thinking this will be a crummy day, it will be a bad day. If you wake up saying this will be a terrific day, even with a headache, and say that you will have a good day, then you will have a good day. So attitude is everything. There is a wonderful example in the book; if you don't believe me, read the last story in the book.
Joy Browne: Thank you! Absolutely, it isn't written with respect to sexual orientation or age. It is a book for human beings. Read, enjoy, and let me know if you like it.
Joy Browne: This is covered in the book under "Soul Mates" and in DATING FOR DUMMIES. It is okay for me, if it is okay with you guys. Living together is a personal choice. I am not in favor of living together when children are involved. You should both sit and talk about what your expectations are. One chapter in the book is "Expectation Is the Death of Serenity," which covers this topic.
Joy Browne: Thanks Joanne. I am on KSRO in Santa Rosa. The best thing to do is call the program at 1-800-544-7070, and we can give you complete listings. You can also go to WOR.com and see listings, and the good news is I will have my own TV show starting in the fall of 1999 that will be seen nationally.
Joy Browne: Jennifer, you can choose any of the nine, they all get folks in trouble. The one that gets people in the most trouble is the one that people need to be right all the time.
Joy Browne: I think believing that we have soul mates is very, very dangerous. The soul we know best is our own, and if we are looking for a soul mate we superimpose our understanding of our own behavior on some one else's behavior to make it fit, and that is dangerous.
Joy Browne: The good news is that the show is already syndicated; call your local station. I go to wherever I am invited -- invite me, pay me...
Joy Browne: Niki, trust me, I think you will like the explanation, but it is a little long here. Basically, we all need a place to stand. Check out the book...
Joy Browne: I am not against fantasies, I am against these particular nine.
Joy Browne: Thank you, no plans at this moment, but who knows what the future might bring?
Joy Browne: Whether your boyfriend believes in marriage or not isn't the question. This isn't about him. At this moment it is about you.
Joy Browne: Twenty years on the radio.
Joy Browne: The newsletter has been one of the true disasters of my life. I did publish a newsletter, and the publisher somehow seems to have lost vast sums of money that have never been explained. I hope to revive it one day. In the meantime, I just began writing a column in The New York Times Syndicate, so you can read it for free.
Joy Browne: Absolutely not! Assuming you can pull yourself out is a misunderstanding of depression. I don't want you to spend another moment being depressed. Go out and get yourself some therapy and some medication, because the two together work better than either does separately.
Joy Browne: Ditch this fantasy -- there are no perfect people.
Joy Browne: Our philosophies have nothing to do with each other. Our books are obviously reflective of our philosophies, so why read Shakespeare over John Donne? They are different. And I think I am heard in Hawaii, because I have gotten calls from there before.
Joy Browne: It may be that you are with the wrong person, because there is nothing wrong about being honest about what your needs are. Sounds to me that there may be a need to do a little bit of soul searching on your part, but you need what you need.
Joy Browne: I think men and women are very similar in many ways. We are all oxygen-breathing life forms, and anything to the contrary makes it easy for us not to do the work of interpersonal communication.
Joy Browne: I don't listen to people talk on the radio when I am by myself. When I am by myself I listen to music.
Joy Browne: I am in favor of anything that works. Whatever works for you, I am in favor of for you.
Joy Browne: I am surprised you refer to yourself as a nudist, most refer to themselves as naturalists. How we raise our children when they are young changes as they get older. Young children don't know the difference and may have some troubles with naturalists as they get older.
Joy Browne: Hey, let's not bash half the world's population. I didn't say it was dead, only that it is the poison of the 20th century. We need to live with the reality of how some people should behave if you love them.
Joy Browne: Becky, it sounds like you are stuck for a reason. You should look beyond the obvious and see if the loss of this love does not relate to another loss. It may be time for therapy.
Joy Browne: Doing my radio show. No question, writing is hard, lonely work, but it is fun to have written.
Joy Browne: I don't tend to read for inspiration, I read for relaxation. The callers are my inspiration.
Joy Browne: The book is recently out, and I am on book tour, which is fun for me, but it is just too new.
Joy Browne: Stop whining. Depends where you are looking. Take yourself off of house arrest and go get this fantasy.
Joy Browne: Good question. Prozac will deal with some of the depression, but the therapy will help the depression. We know that both of them combined is the best.
Joy Browne: Thank you all for participating and asking cool questions. I hope you enjoy the book, and I hope to know if it has changed your life for the better. Be gentle with one another.