The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

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by Robert A. Heinlein, D. F. Vassallo
     
 

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Not old enough to fight in the First World War (though he did manage to fight in it centuries later, by going back in time), but destined to lead the first successful expedition to another star system, and then some, the (literally) immortal Lazarus Long is the most popular and enduring character created by Robert A. Heinlein, author of numerous New York Times best

Overview

Not old enough to fight in the First World War (though he did manage to fight in it centuries later, by going back in time), but destined to lead the first successful expedition to another star system, and then some, the (literally) immortal Lazarus Long is the most popular and enduring character created by Robert A. Heinlein, author of numerous New York Times best sellers. Across five decades, he appeared and reappeared in Heinlein's most popular novels, including Methuselah's Children, Time Enough for Love, The Number of the Beast, To Sail Beyond the Sunset, and others. Long is the oldest living member of the human race by virtue of a unique set of chromosomes, aided by the advanced rejuvenation technology of the far future. He has been a pioneer on eight planets, survived wars and lynch mobs, and explored all of interstellar space known to humanity, as well as some other parts he doesn't talk about. Long's adventures and narrow escapes have given him a breadth of experience distilled through the irony of an immortal viewpoint. But there is nothing stuffy or snobbish about Long's reflections on the human condition. As the noted editor and critic David G. Hartwell has observed, "Lazarus' comments are acute, lively and intelligent." And here they are, compiled in one beautifully designed book, for the delight of the millions of Heinlein fans around the world.

Editorial Reviews

The New York Times Book Review
"One of the most influential writers in American Literature."
The New York Times
"Heinlein wears imagination as though it were his private suit of clothes."
The Wall Street Journal
"One of the grand masters of science fiction."
The Philadelphia Inquirer
"Heinlein… has the ability to see technologies just around the bend. That, combined with his outstanding skill as a writer and engineer-inventor, produces books that are often years ahead of their time."

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780876544730
Publisher:
Pomegranate Communications, Inc.
Publication date:
09/01/1995
Pages:
64
Product dimensions:
10.06(w) x 7.02(h) x 0.30(d)

Read an Excerpt

The Notebooks of Lazarus Long


By Robert A. Heinlein

Baen Books

Copyright © 2004 Robert A. Heinlein
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0-7434-8844-X


Chapter One

Always store beer in a dark place. by the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man-man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition. He has no enemy to help him. Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking. Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect. If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science, it is opinion. It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another-but which one? Differences are crucial. Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet you can't win. A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved. Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters. If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people. Your enemy is never a villain in his own eye. Keep this in mind, it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate-and quickly. A motion to adjourn is always in order. No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and in the long run, no state ever has. Roman matrons used to say to their sons: "Come back with your shield, or on it." Later on, this custom declined. So did Rome. Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing-with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place. There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know-so why fret about it? Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. It is better to copulate than never. All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly which can-and must-be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a "perfect society" on any foundation other than "Women and children first!" is no only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly-and no doubt will keep on trying. All men are created unequal. Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well. A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate. Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth. There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk. It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier. One man's theology is another man's belly laugh. Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys, it's more sanitary. Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child. Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse. Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. N.B.: Circumstances can force your hand. So think ahead! (Continues...)



Excerpted from The Notebooks of Lazarus Long by Robert A. Heinlein Copyright © 2004 by Robert A. Heinlein. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author

Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988), often called the Science Fiction Grand Master, was the author of such ground-breaking novels as STARSHIP TROOPERS, RED PLANET, STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND and THE MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS. He is generally considered the greatest and most influential science fiction writer of the twentieth century. In addition to being a bestselling author, Heinlein's novels won 4 Hugo awards, 3 "retro Hugo" awards, and the first "Grand Master Award" from the Science Fiction Writers of America.

Brief Biography

Date of Birth:
July 7, 1907
Date of Death:
May 8, 1988
Place of Birth:
Butler, Missouri
Place of Death:
Carmel, California
Education:
Graduate of U.S. Naval Academy, 1929; attended University of California, Los Angeles, 1934, for graduate study in physic

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The Notebooks of Lazarus Long 3.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 21 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
If you are a fan of Heinlein and the books he wrote about the Long family, you will enjoy reading these quotes! Regarding Lazerus Long - this charachter lived for 2,000 years! What knowledge he must have learned over the years. However, in his words paraphrased,You can't teach a person wisdom, they have to learn it for themselves.
LSchwitzer More than 1 year ago
Here are all the pithy little quips from Heinlein's most enduring character. All the one-liners you wish you could remember are here, all the philosophical musings of The Eldest. It's a short book, but one that I keep bedside to peruse time and again.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Don't waste your time with the Nook sample. It is only 7 pages long and those seven pages are all the usual copyrights and lists of Heinlein's books. Page seven is the title page. There is not even one sentence of the book in the sample.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a book that you will go back to again and again (and again and again!) for that special phrase. If you are a lover of Lazarus Long you must buy this book. The wisdom expressed in the turn of a simple phrase speaks volumes.
Beevo More than 1 year ago
From such a talented writer I found this to be a pretty lame book.
DominickB More than 1 year ago
There's a lot of potential here that was ignored. Heinlein's Lazarus Long character put forth a lot of insight and pithy commentary on life, loving, and common sense, but it's all lost in this unorganized random sequence of quotes. First, there's one quote per page. That would be okay if a little context was provided along with the quote. Who was LL saying this to? What made him say it? What is the significance? What book is it from? etc., etc. Second, there's no rhyme or reason to the order -- it's just a sequence of quotes. How about grouping them by topic or keyword? And then have an index where you could find a quote that would relate to the topic. I'm a big fan of LL quotes, but this is just silly.
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Howard F. Arner, Jr. More than 1 year ago
the free preview of this book goes to the title page, not even to a table of contents. Robert would not be amused. Shame on the publisher for this travesty.