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Updated for a New Paperback Edition, the Definitive Guide to Open Adoption, by the founder of the Open Adoption Movement The exploding popularity of open adoption today underscores what adopting parents, birthparents, and many adoption experts now maintain: Open adoption is the healthiest, most humane, and fastest method available. It's better for the birthmother, because she (not lawyers or social workers) decides the future of her child. It's better for children, because they're raised without the shroud of ...
Updated for a New Paperback Edition, the Definitive Guide to Open Adoption, by the founder of the Open Adoption Movement The exploding popularity of open adoption today underscores what adopting parents, birthparents, and many adoption experts now maintain: Open adoption is the healthiest, most humane, and fastest method available. It's better for the birthmother, because she (not lawyers or social workers) decides the future of her child. It's better for children, because they're raised without the shroud of secrecy and stigma that accompanies most closed adoptions. And it's better for adopting parents, because it dramatically shortens the time it takes to obtain a baby, from an average of seven years to under one year. As director of one of the country's leading open adoption agencies and founder of the first nationwide network of open adoption organizations, Bruce Rappaport has facilitated thousands of successful open adoptions and acquired an intimate understanding of the most common and heartfelt concerns of parents seeking to adopt a baby. Interweaving personal stories and real-life experiences of adopting parents, birthparents, and adopted children, he answers the questions clients most frequently ask:
* What is an open adoption? How does it differ from traditional adoption?
* Will I ever feel like a real parent if my child's biological mother knows I'm raising her child? Will she interfere?
* What if the birthmother changes her mind after the adoption?
* How long will it take to get a child?
Documenting answers with extensive personal experience and research, Dr. Rappaport paints a reassuring yet realistic picture of the open adoption process. The result is a highly informative, deeply moving book that will help many people realize the greatest joy life can offer.
Introduction: The Promise of Open Adoption.
1. Why Is Adopting a Healthy Infant So Difficult?
2. Open Adoption: The Revitalization of Adoption.
3. Infertility and the Medical Treadmill.
4. Birthparent Stereotypes and Realities.
5. The Surprising Bond Between Adopting Parents and Birthparents.
6. The Ongoing Relationships Between Adopting Parents and Birthparents.
7. The Lives of an Adopted Child and Adoptive Parents in an Open Adoption.
8. The Vital Role of Counseling in an Open Adoption.
9. The Joys of Parenthood.
Appendix: Open Adoption Centers.
Posted May 10, 2008
The adoption triad does work in most cases, depends on the circumstances. In my case it has worked out beautifully. An adopted child can never be loved too much for them. The joy of sharing where the child came from and his/her background info. is so important to share with the child and as he/she gets older, provides them with more self asteem and sense of stability. There are studies being done on open adoption that it really does benefit all those involved. As a birth mom myself, I participated in such a study last year and will continue to participate in future studies. I do agree that the public needs to be educated more about open adoption. Please do not degrade the birth parents and people who choose an open adoption. It really is what is best for the child and that is all we need to think about in times like this.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 7, 2008
I placed my child for adoption 3yrs ago through the IAC and was given this book to read. At the time, I didn't think I would read it. I am sooo glad I did. Along with the book and my outstanding counselor and the staff at the IAC I was able to make it through a very rough period of my life. Open adoption is the only way to go for both parties involved. I now have an extended family and are truely happy they are raising my child. This is a loving couple that tried everything to have kids and so deserving of it. I know my child is being raised by two loving people. I am always happy to share my story with others. Yes I would strongly reccomend this book to birthparents or those seeking to adopt. Thank you for reading and hopefully there are others out there with the same stories or feelings.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 5, 2003
I want to live on the planet Dr. Rappaport resides on and so do the tens of thousands of women in the United States who surrender babies every year for adoption. The tears never stop, whatever adoption practice the children were placed under. Read Merry Bloch Jones, Birthmothers, and you¿ll see 'the amputation of the heart.' Rappaport describes open adoption as though it were a rose garden in which 'close relationships between the adoptive parents and birthparents become almost casual or routine, just as they would be in a biological family. The sense of normalcy is striking'. Yes, of course, this may be the case with some open adoption arrangements, but Dr. Rappaport writes that 'most open adoption families'consider the presence of the birthparent(s) 'just a normal and routine part of their everyday lives.'We do not have longitudinal studies that support this view, and common sense tells us that it cannot be true of most open adoption arrangements, or of any other adoption practice. Many Birthmothers report that if they had to do it over again they would not have chosen adoption but raised the children themselves. Some would even have chosen abortion over adoption. Mothers relinquishing a child for adoption often tend toward more grief symptoms, especially if the adoption is an open one, than parents who had lost a child to death. Studies show that many mothers using open adoption often feel more socially isolated, express more difficulty with normal everyday life, feel more despair, and express more dependency than their counterparts using confidential adoptions. Dr. Rappaport¿s book was published in 1992, but meanwhile we do have more data available. We learn from the largest longitudinal study (720 individuals) conducted by Harold D. Grotevant and Ruth G. McRoy on the full range of adoptive openness, (Openness in Adoption, Exploring Family Connections. Sage 1998): ¿The clearest policy implication of our work is that no single type of adoption is best for everyone.¿ These authors warn that the long-term impact of openness for all parties in the adoptive kinship network is not known and longitudinal research is necessary to answer this question. Most importantly, the long-term impact of openness on the children is as yet unknown. In fully disclosed open adoption, the child is continually reminded that she has two mothers. This ¿insistence of differences¿ is a vulnerability in open-adoption families which professionals and laypersons are concerned about. David H. Kirk¿s Adoptive Kinship Theory predicts that openness in adoption imposes strains on all parties in the adoption triad as a result of role ambiguity. In their study Openness in Adoption, New Practices, New Issues, (Praeger, 1988) McRoy, Grotevant and White suggest that ¿The child may be more likely to feel that he is `matched¿ with his adoptive parents, if he or she is not constantly reminded of the contrast between birthparents and adoptive parents.¿ Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 26, 2009
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