Table of Contents
Prelude: Mangledy-Bangledy 9
The Dreaming and Destruction
1 Magnolia Trees 17
2 A Beginner's Dream 23
3 Big Joe the Pimp 31
4 Epiphanies 35
5 Unravelings 40
6 A Bad Year 45
7 Cornbread Crumbs 49
8 The End of the Road 54
9 Ants and Other Holy Thoughts 59
10 The End 69
The Burying
11 Aisle 7 and the Evil Spaghetti 75
12 Dead Goldfish and a Holy Summons 82
13 Poor Rich Man 90
The Lostness
14 Aliens and Familiar Roads 99
15 The Guide 105
16 Lost Girl 114
17 The Art of Listening 121
18 Joshua Tree 127
19 Beauty in the Desert 132
The Waiting
20 Losing My Humanity 145
21 The River 154
22 Not Real Babies 160
23 The Spiritual Director Doctor 165
24 Fat Feet and Waiting Games 170
25 Growing Something New 179
The Becoming
26 Overrated 187
27 Bright, Shiny New Things 195
28 The Chorus of You-Can-Do-Its 202
29 Shovels, Prison, and Other Heavenly Things 209
30 Saying Yes 217
Notes 227
Acknowledgments 231
About the Author 235