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Getting Ready for the Second Half
Overview of This Session
During today's session we will be discussing:
Symptoms of the second half of marriage
What other couples report as being important to them in marriage
Taking your own survey
Video Clip Notes
Why are you taking this class? What do you hope to gain as a result? Are you approaching the beginning of the second half of your marriage, or are you in the middle of it? Is your nest in the process of emptying, or has it just refilled? Perhaps you're in a new marriage but you're in midlife or beyond.
One on One
Look at the survey results on pages 34-35. Find your age group for each of the charts given, and share your reactions to each one.
My Reflection Time
Take a moment to complete the Marriage Builder ("Surveying the Second Half of Marriage") on page 47. There is another survey form on page 217 for you to copy and use at later dates, as you desire.
One on One
Share your survey with your spouse. Remember, your spouse may see things differently than you do.
Identify those areas where your responses are within one point of each other-areas you mutually agree are relatively good, neutral, or need attention.
Identify those areas where you mildly disagree-a 2-3 point difference. Find out why your spouse rated that category the way he or she did. If it is an area you believe needs further discussion, place a check mark to the left of the category for future reference.
Identify those areas where there is a drastic difference of opinion. Definitely flag those areas but save for later discussion. In challenges 2 and 3 we will learn new skills for discussing our differences in a productive, non-attacking way. For now we're simply performing a marriage checkup and looking at our relationship as it is presently.
Go over your responses to questions 1-4 that follow the survey. Again, remember that your spouse may very well see things from a different perspective. The objective is not to change your spouse's opinion to match yours. It is rather to help each of you understand the other's viewpoint.
Excerpted from The Second Half of Marriage by David Arp Copyright © 1998 by David Arp. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Posted June 22, 2014
Posted March 19, 2014