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The Secret Life of a Submissive

The Secret Life of a Submissive

3.8 7
by Sarah K

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THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERSarah K has a secret.By day she’s a writer and level-headed single mother; by night she’s a submissive, living a real-life Fifty Shades of Grey that is thrilling beyond her wildest dreams.But this is no fantasy: Sarah’s story is all true.Daring, evocative and thrilling, but told with wit and honesty, this is an


THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERSarah K has a secret.By day she’s a writer and level-headed single mother; by night she’s a submissive, living a real-life Fifty Shades of Grey that is thrilling beyond her wildest dreams.But this is no fantasy: Sarah’s story is all true.Daring, evocative and thrilling, but told with wit and honesty, this is an explosive account of life as a submissive, and of a secret world in which only a few dare to play.When Max comes into Sarah’s life – charming, handsome and deliciously brooding – she can’t resist. She surrenders to him in every way: he is a dominant, and Sarah becomes his submissive, yielding her body to his every desire.But as Sarah pushes her mind and body to its limits – performing acts E.L. James would blush at – she begins to realise that she’s in too deep. Pleasure and pain have become her world; she’s addicted to the adrenalin, to the sensation and to Max himself.Now she’s in serious danger of giving in to the ultimate temptation: falling in love…

Editorial Reviews

Kirkus Reviews
A British woman's epiphanic transformation from bored divorcee to kinky, sensual slave. Anonymous author Sarah K's novelistic memoir begins sheepishly enough with the author querying her best girlfriends for creative sex scenes to incorporate into an erotic story she'd been writing as "the perfect escape from the realities of a crumbling marriage." But when she found herself a 40-something, divorced, single mother of three grown children, the writing project effectively stoked the flames of a latent fascination with bondage. Intent on finding the "hero" of her sexual fantasies, the author fumbled through online dating and then met Max, a tall, handsome, entrepreneurial "Dom" who immediately asserts respectful authority with a consensual docility contract and "safe words." The dom/sub dance began, awkward and fumbling at first, with the placement of an ownership collar, dungeon play and a lingering scene at a kinky dinner party. Yielding to Max's brinkmanship eventually neutralized her physical insecurities, and the memoir unfurls further through episodes of explicitly described, unbridled surrender. No stranger to the game, Max cautioned her at the onset of their arrangement that a BDSM relationship "changes your life forever." As her transformative journey progressed, it dramatically redefined the author's psychological and sexual boundaries, changes she initially found herself resistant to grasp. These boundaries became blurred, however, when the author allowed her romantic love to sully their hierarchal dynamic. Written with verve, Sarah K's narrative bolsters an already provocative story that is thankfully allowed to play out organically without overextrapolating the base semantics of the BDSM lifestyle. A titillating story for the Fifty Shades set that plumbs the complex, intimate head space of the sexually submissive.

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HarperCollins Publishers
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HarperCollins Publishers
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Meet the Author

Sarah K is an author of several novels – this is her first work of non-fiction. She is happily divorced and lives in the south of England.

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The Secret Life a Submissive 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 7 reviews.
RtBBlog More than 1 year ago
Reviewed by: Crystal N Book provided by: publisher for review Review originally posted at Romancing the Book This is not a book that tells you that you need to be into BDSM. Just a decision that one woman made to get into BDSM. This a a book that I enjoyed reading. I have been thinking about the whole BDSM and wanting to know more about it. There are so many kinds out there and if it is something you want to do you need to find out more about it and what you will and won’t do. I really appreciate this author bringing out her life like this. I know that it couldn’t be easy. In her book she tells what all started her research and what she did to get into the BDSM. Some things I couldn’t see myself doing. I have thought about the whole tying up and maybe spanking. I just think getting whipped with a cane would be too much for me. I enjoyed reading this book. The author did a wonderful job describing what she was feeling during every course of her education. I really didn’t like her husband all that much and I am glad that she found her someone that could give her what she wanted. I was hoping that things would work out for Sarah and Max. I had to remember that this is a true life story not a romance novel that I love to get into and everything works out in the end. Sarah has found someone to love her and give her what she wants. She love to have vanilla in the mix. I just couldn’t see having the BDSM everyday in my life. That is something that you need to work out for yourself and your partner. With reading this book my eyes have been opened up even more to the different sides. I know that you can never know how much you want to be in the lifestyle until you try it. It also is an experience on trust and if you can trust your partner to look out for you and make sure you are never hurt. I really commend the author for opening up and sharing what I know had to be a little hard. This is not a self-help book that tells you what you need to do. It is the journey of one woman and what she wanted in her life. I recommend this book to people that wants to know about someone that has tried it and what they experienced and if it is for them.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
FaeRhiannon More than 1 year ago
“I wondered if this was something to do with my fantasy about Prince Charming — the one to whom I didn’t need to speak. The one who knew everything I wanted and needed without me saying a word, although in my fantasy Prince Charming had never resorted to nipple clamps.” – pg 161 I sincerely love this book. The description tells the truth in saying that it is told with both wit and honesty — and that E.L. James would blush (and cringe) at some of the things in this book. First, a few things: as much as I enjoyed the Fifty Shades Trilogy, I honestly believe that it took hold mainly because it was Twilight fan-fiction, and look how big those books were blown up. I read Twilight and enjoyed them because they were (and are) a cultural phenomenon. Are they well written with well-rounded, three dimensional characters? No. Bella is written as such a one-dimensional character so that every female reading can identify with her (which is why I will defend Kristen Stewart’s acting in these movies alone, because she CAN act, but Bella is made of cardboard.) Also, I have personal experience in this area of life, which is why I requested to review this book, and request many like it. A very close friend of mine was curious about the lifestyle a few years back and I did research with her and was with her every step of the way to make sure she was safe, and she told me everything. So I understand that it’s more than E.L. James wrote, that scandalized so many, yet simply amused me and my friend. Now, those things being said, so readers can understand my perspective, my review: This IS a true telling. I know that some people may say that and it’s a lie, but, knowing the lifestyle as I do, and reading the way that Sarah K writes it, you can tell it’s real. It is real, dirty, painful, sexy, cringe-inducing, witty, and not a little heartbreaking. Sarah is a writer and she and a fellow writer realize that the market for BDSM erotica novels has grown considerably. For years, Sarah researched it but never experienced it. But deep down, she wants to. So after gaining the courage to join a dating website specifically for those interested in the lifestyle, she speaks to various men online, meeting a few, but mostly experiences what anyone on a dating website does: a whole lot of creepers, weirdos and perverts that are just on there to get laid. Finally she starts speaking to Max… and soon they develop a rapport. One in which he immediately asserts himself as a secure dominant. He gradually brings her into the world, pushing her limits, having a contract signed and, ultimately, falling in love… But there are always barriers and, in real life, not everything has a happy ending. I am not saying that this book doesn’t have one, but there are heart-breaking moments in it as they go through the ups and downs of real life — this is non-fiction, after all. It’s a well-written account of her experiences, each chapter introduced with a quote from Henry James or The Marquis de Sade, which made me break out my old collections to read him again. It draws you in and excites you — sometimes in an erotic way, sometimes in an “Oh my god, holy sh*t” way… but it will get your heart racing. At times you may not want to turn the page but you have to, are compelled to, to see what happens next. I’m giving this a five out of five flowers because it’s real, amazing and enthralling. But if you’re vanilla, and you were a bit turned off by Fifty Shades of Grey or any of the books in the category, don’t read this. It is not for you. However, if you’re in the lifestyle, or you’d simply like to venture there in Sarah’s place, sit back and enjoy.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Well written with believable characters. Explores and explains the secret world of Master & submissive in an intelligent way. The plot has a legitimate beginning, middle and ending.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
this book is really good in helping to understand the dynamics of a bdsm relationship its written very well and is great in the understanding of how a submissive sees alot of how it all works for a beginer
lucieparis2011 More than 1 year ago
Intriguing and interesting. The book is presented as a true story, so it made ¿¿me wants to discover Sarah's adventures.  It's one thing to read stories romanticized about BDSM, with charming princes, even if they are a little perverted and licentious, and another to imagine living in the shoes of a real sub. Sarah describes her process, step by step, with her questioning, fears and apprehension. The same as you readers, so that's good and reassuring.  Suddenly, the story has a an educational side and you embark on a journey within her insight thoughts.  For example, the heroine embarks on her BDSM adventure by seeking a master on the internet. Daring? Risky or completely insane? But when you ask yourself questions about a particular livestyle that you're intrigued about, Sarah explains that it is difficult and delicate to talk openly about your desires or push open the doors of a club by yourself. So the internet become the easiest way.  Once Max, her dom, is being found a contract with very specific rules are imposed on Sarah. Some, for example, as abstaining from speaking uninvited. A huge effort to ask for a majority of the female population often unable to hold their tongue! Personally, my hairs began to bristle at this moment.  But Sarah continues her discovery and the fact that you are being inviting to share her emotions and pleasures is intriguing and disturbing at the same time.  Especially when overtaking her limits, always under the benevolence of Max long accustomed to this lifestyle. So used to it that he is unable to maintain a more vanilla traditional relationship. So cuddling is unthinkable.  An invitation to an evening with BDSM friends, with dogs bowls for feeding the subs and the fact that sharing a bed is not conceivable, literally pushed me in my corner. While my mind was screaming, Sarah was seeing a form of affection. It was the  evidence that she was at her place in the BDSM environment in which she was initiated. Then the last part is more personal and certainly more romanticized too. Fellings invite themselves between Max and herself. As everyone comes with baggage, the end is bitter sweet. Certainly, the heroine ends her story by explaining to be very happy, but not necessarily as one expected or would have hoped for her to be. From an outside point of view, I struggled to understand the blinding faith with which Sarah is bent and opened herself to Max's initiation while he kept voluntarily his share of shadows and mystery. Retention of informations and lack of honesty do not mix, in my opinion, with the contract between the Dom and his sub. This is why the end taste bitter. But again, this story is meant to be realistic or, at least, to show one way that submission can be experienced.  Very interesting because Sarah's romanced testimony show the evidences that compels you to see the practice of BDSM differently. Not a fiction but a real lifestyle. Well written. Lucie newbooksonmyselves.blogspot.fr