The Selfish Path to Romance: How to Love with Passion and Reason

Overview


Just about everything most of us have learned about how to find love is wrong. That’s the premise of The Selfish Path to Romance. Love is not about sacrifice. Real, lasting romance comes when you are certain about yourself, your needs, and your worth. In the words of top-selling novelist and philosopher Ayn Rand, “It is one’s one personal, selfish happiness that one seeks, earns and derives from love.” Authors Dr. Edwin Locke and Dr. Ellen Kenner are inspired by the work of philosopher and novelist Ayn Rand. ...
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The Selfish Path to Romance: How to Love with Passion and Reason

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Overview


Just about everything most of us have learned about how to find love is wrong. That’s the premise of The Selfish Path to Romance. Love is not about sacrifice. Real, lasting romance comes when you are certain about yourself, your needs, and your worth. In the words of top-selling novelist and philosopher Ayn Rand, “It is one’s one personal, selfish happiness that one seeks, earns and derives from love.” Authors Dr. Edwin Locke and Dr. Ellen Kenner are inspired by the work of philosopher and novelist Ayn Rand. Their book explores Ayn Rand’s belief that the assertion of your own needs and values is the foundation of love. The Selfish Path to Romance offers a no-nonsense, rational alternative for those who are serious about finding and sustaining a lifetime romance. Be prepared to have your preconceptions shattered, your intuition challenged, and be ready for candid introspection.
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Though Locke (Handbook of Principles of Organizational Behavior) and Kenner base their latest on controversial Objectivist Ayn Rand, their text actually adheres to a simple self-help premise: honest introspection, truly knowing oneself, will lead to rewarding romantic relationships. The authors use countless case studies of challenged relationships to illustrate healthy approaches to problem solving and boundary setting. Maintaining that "the principle of self-sacrifice destroys relationships," they invoke their own clinical experience to offer guidelines for developing self-esteem. Despite the Randian platform, this effort is actually a compendium of oft-repeated advice ranging from "Replace Anger with Positives" to finding the right partner. Acknowledging that relationships need work to thrive, the authors offer tips on resolving the inevitable conflicts of any relationship. Though Locke and Kenner offer little new in their first collaboration, their breezy style and comprehensive approach will likely draw new readers. (Feb.)
From the Publisher

From ForeWord Reviews

"The Selfish Path to Romance has arrived just in time for Valentine’s Day. Based on the Objectivist philosophy of Ayn Rand, this manual instructs the reader on how to build and preserve a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship with the romance equation boiled down to a point-by-point, easy-to-understand workbook, complete with intellectual exercises at the end of each chapter. The authors explore the importance of self-love in this concise text that breaks down the method of seeking a 'soul mate.' They believe that achieving romance involves negotiation, as well as nurturing, between respectful individuals exhibiting self-esteem and common sense.

"Divided into six parts, this intriguing book begins by defining romantic love as a positive experience built on egoism (i.e., there must be something in it for both parties or it won’t work), but eliminates altruism and narcissism as stereotypically bad courses of action. Making yourself appealing to a potential mate is addressed at length, along with choosing an appropriate partner and making the correlation thrive. A section devoted exclusively to sex precedes the final segment on resolving conflict. Included is an appendix on the termination of a relationship in the event of irreconcilable differences.... True love, according to these experts, is not an accident, nor is it mystical. It is a rational interaction between two people that can be learned."

Though Locke (Handbook of Principles of Organizational Behavior) and Kenner base their latest on controversial Objectivist Ayn Rand, their text actually adheres to a simple self-help premise: honest introspection, truly knowing oneself, will lead to rewarding romantic relationships. The authors use countless case studies of challenged relationships to illustrate healthy approaches to problem solving and boundary setting. Maintaining that "the principle of self-sacrifice destroys relationships," they invoke their own clinical experience to offer guidelines for developing self-esteem. Despite the Randian platform, this effort is actually a compendium of oft-repeated advice ranging from "Replace Anger with Positives" to finding the right partner. Acknowledging that relationships need work to thrive, the authors offer tips on resolving the inevitable conflicts of any relationship. Though Locke and Kenner offer little new in their first collaboration, their breezy style and comprehensive approach will likely draw new readers. (Feb.)

Cevin Bryerman, Publishers Weekly, April 18, 2011

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780982411759
  • Publisher: Winans Kuenstler Publishing
  • Publication date: 2/14/2011
  • Pages: 282
  • Sales rank: 544,765
  • Product dimensions: 5.82 (w) x 8.88 (h) x 0.88 (d)

Meet the Author


Ellen Kenner, a clinical psychologist in private practice, is the host of a nationally syndicated radio talk show, The Rational Basis of Happiness® (ranked in the top 250 national shows by Talkers magazine). Her show, heard on over sixty stations coast to coast, is in its fourteenth year. It features listeners who call her with questions related to romance and other personal problems. She has appeared as a guest on radio and television. Dr. Kenner has studied Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism for over thirty years. Edwin A. Locke is Dean's Professor of Leadership and Motivation Emeritus at the R.H. Smith School of Business, University of Maryland. He has published over 280 books, chapters, articles, reviews, and notes and is internationally known for his research on motivation, job satisfaction, leadership, and other topics. For many years he has promoted the application Ayn Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism in the social sciences.
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Table of Contents

Preface i

About the Authors iv

Acknowledgments v

About Ayn Rand vii

Introduction ix

Part I The Basics 1

Chapter 1 What Is Romantic Love? 3

Chapter 2 Altruism and Narcissism: Two Approaches to Love That Do Not Work 12

Chapter 3 True Romantic Love Is Egoistic 27

Chapter 4 Understanding Love 36

Part II Making Yourself Lovable 47

Chapter 5 Building Moral Character 49

Chapter 6 Developing Genuine Self-Esteem 61

Chapter 7 Values, Appearance, Communication 78

Part III Finding Your Soul Mate 93

Chapter 8 Achieving Harmony Between Reason and Emotion 95

Chapter 9 Choosing the Right Partner I 100

Chapter 10 Choosing the Right Partner II 109

Chapter 11 Choosing the Right Partner III 119

Part IV Making Your Romantic Relationship Thrive 129

Chapter 12 How to Cherish Your Partner I 131

Chapter 13 How to Cherish Your Partner II 141

Chapter 14 How to Cherish Your Partner III 150

Chapter 15 Creating a Positive Emotional Climate 156

Chapter 16 Love Destroyers and How to Fix Them 163

Part V Enjoying Sex 181

Chapter 17 Understanding What Sex Is and Why It's Good 183

Chapter 18 Creating Intimacy and Mood 191

Chapter 19 Technique, Afterplay and Feedback 199

Chapter 20 Prioritizing Sex and Overcoming Subverters of Sexual Pleasure 206

Part VI Resolving Conflict 217

Chapter 21 Causes of Conflict I 219

Chapter 22 Causes of Conflict II 227

Chapter 23 Communication Methods That Do Not Work 232

Chapter 24 Communication Methods That Work 238

Chapter 25 Compromise and Dealing with Your Partner's Resistance 246

Epilogue 254

Appendix: How to Part Ways and Start Over If You Cease Being Soul Mates 257

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