The Sh!t No One Tells You: A Guide to Surviving Your Baby's First Year [NOOK Book]

Overview


There comes a time in every new mother’s life when she finds herself staring at her screaming, smelly “bundle of joy” and wishing someone had told her that her house would reek of vomit, or that she shouldn’t buy the cute onesies with a thousand impossible buttons, or that she might cry more than the baby.

Best-selling humor author Dawn Dais, mother to a one-year-old and author of The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women, is convinced that ...
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The Sh!t No One Tells You: A Guide to Surviving Your Baby's First Year

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Overview


There comes a time in every new mother’s life when she finds herself staring at her screaming, smelly “bundle of joy” and wishing someone had told her that her house would reek of vomit, or that she shouldn’t buy the cute onesies with a thousand impossible buttons, or that she might cry more than the baby.

Best-selling humor author Dawn Dais, mother to a one-year-old and author of The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women, is convinced that there is a reason for this lack of preparedness. She believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the horrific truth about parenting from doe-eyed expectant mothers who might otherwise abandon their babies in hospitals and run for it. In The Sh!t No One Tells You, Dais tells it like it is, revealing what it’s really like to be a new parent and providing helpful insights, humor, and hope for those who feel overwhelmed by the exhausting trials they’re suddenly facing. Eschewing the adorableness that oozes out of other parenting books, Dais offers real advice from real moms—along with hilarious anecdotes, clever tips, and the genuine encouragement every mom needs in order to survive the first year of parenthood.
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
11/15/2013
There's no doubt that first-time motherhood is one of the most soul-altering awakenings women experience, and it's almost never a cakewalk. Freelance writer Dais aims to tell those would-be blindsided moms what really happens during and after childbirth, and she's not pulling any punches ("My hope is to give you what I didn't have: the ability to say, 'I am not the only parent in the history of the planet to have their asses handed to them by something they could fit in a purse.'"). The author combines her own advice with that of several BFF moms in chapters that range from "You Just Pooped Out a Baby (Your Body Post-Baby)" to "It May Not be Love at First Sight." VERDICT Dais gives mothers decent guidance with a wisecracking, tongue-in-cheek style ("raid the hospital for everything that isn't nailed down"), interspersed with some memorable and worthy insights ("Just because breast-feeding is natural doesn't mean it will come naturally."). Great for public library collections.
From the Publisher

"The Sh!t No One Tells You took me right back to those first weeks of new motherhood—truly the most empowering and frustrating (and frightening!) of times. With heartfelt encouragement and insight, Dawn Dais is a must-read for first-time moms."
Rebecca Woolf, author of Rockabye: From Wild to Child

"Humorous revelations offer insight into a natural process that can and often does completely overwhelm the mother. . . An amusing and accurate examination of life with an infant.”
Kirkus Reviews

"Babies are wonderful—we all agree. Can we also acknowledge that bringing home that first bundle of joy is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do? Dawn Dais bravely goes where other baby books don’t in her wisecracking new release called The Sh!t No One Tells You: A Guide to Surviving Your Baby’s First Year. She spills the truth about everything from breastfeeding to getting along with your partner post-baby. Pregnant women who want an honest peek inside what’s to come will be convinced to nap while they still can, and moms with kids will laugh out loud at Dais’s quirky insights and strong opinions."
Parents magazine

"Dais and her team of MOFLs (moms on the front lines) guide parents (moms, especially) through the first 52 weeks of your child’s life with honesty, clarity, humor, complaints and encouragement on a myriad of important subjects from breastfeeding, endless crying and vaccinating to relationship problems, loss of freedom and inaccurate Facebook statuses (“OMG, I love my life!”)."
Equally Family

"From poop to post-partum depression, she presents a no-holds-barred look at all of the changes and challenges that new moms and dads can face, along with the three little words every infant-toting parent wants to hear: It gets better."
Parade magazine

"[T]hings are going to get messy. And not as in, 'Oh, you dripped a little ketchup on your shirt while eating a burger.' Oh no. More of a 'Seriously, how long has that poop been on my shirt with no one pointing it out?' Where once your life was pristine and tasteful it is now covered in things that came out of different parts of a human being."
— from the book

Kirkus Reviews
A behind-the-scenes look at childbirth and a newborn's first year. No book and no amount of personal advice can fully prepare a woman for pregnancy, birthing and the first year of a child's life. However, Dais (The NonCyclist's Guide to the Century and Other Road Races, 2009, etc.) provides a comprehensive take on the very real and not-so-pleasant aspects of parenting, from the various and often yucky scenarios that can unfold during the birthing process to the seemingly endless waste an infant can create. "My intention is not to frighten you or to scare you off having children," she writes, but she does want to prepare women for the completely topsy-turvy world they are about to enter. She uses intimate details of her own child's birth as well as stories from many other mothers with infants and toddlers to bring a much more realistic slant to an event that "changes everything." The humorous revelations offer insight into a natural process that can and often does completely overwhelm the mother. Birthing without drugs, the bodily functions of the mother and infant, and the sheer amount of stuff needed to maintain your new infant are just a few of the subjects she explores. Although humor abounds, topics like postpartum depression, the difficulties in breast-feeding and sleep deprivation are real issues, and Dais' willingness to tackle such issues lets women know that they are not alone in their struggles. "Knowing you are not alone actually helps a little," she writes. "Trust me, misery does love company, especially during 3 a.m. feeding sessions." Dais' information will help ease new mothers into child-rearing and offer comic relief for those who have ventured onto that path. An amusing and accurate examination of life with an infant.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781580054850
  • Publisher: Avalon Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 6/4/2013
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 87,223
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author


Dawn Dais is a freelance writer, designer, and filmmaker from Sacramento, CA. Her two previous books, The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women and The Noncyclist's Guide to the Century and Other Road Races, were published by Seal Press, have topped Amazon.com best-seller lists, and have been featured by countless TV and print media sources. Her uniquely sarcastic yet inspiring tone has entertained and guided an enthusiastic core of readers towards their various ridiculous athletic goals. Dais has a popular website, dreaminmotion.net, which has 18,000 members and features downloadable training plans, blogging, and run tracking. Her first film recently received national distribution. Dais lives in Sacramento, CA, with her partner and two-year-old daughter, Vivian.
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