The Six Conversations: Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility

by Heather Holleman, Gary Chapman (Foreword by)

Overview

It’s time for a conversation revival!

Conversation is getting harder. We’re feeling more isolated. Loneliness is becoming an epidemic. The Six Conversations: Pathways to Connecting Again in an Age of Isolation and Incivility reflects one of the deepest passions of Dr. Heather Holleman’s heart: to connect people in loving community. Professor Holleman often fields questions like:

How can I foster meaningful connection with others?

Why doesn’t anyone ever ask meaningful questions?

If my personal happiness depends upon having warm relationships—like all the research shows—how can I become a better conversationalist and create connection?

Can you relate? Are you longing for loving, meaningful, and joyful conversations? For practical skills to connect with others? Heather invites us to reimagine better conversations. Her work demonstrates how we can develop authentic community by changing our relational mindsets to become more curious, to believe the best about others, to express concern about their lives, and to share our own. Heather shows us how to embrace the Four Mindsets of a Loving Conversation and the Three Fresh Goals for Conversation. Using the latest research, she shares the foundational training necessary for engaging in truly loving conversations. Readers will be equipped with effective questions, self-assessments, and action steps to immediately implement in any situation—both personally and professionally.

If you desire deeper relationships with your spouse, dating partner, children, friends, in-laws, grandchildren, coworkers, clients, students, people in your neighborhood—or all the above—then read this book and grow in the art of The Six Conversations!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780802473639
Publisher:	Moody Publishers
Publication date:	10/04/2022
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	192
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

DR. HEATHER HOLLEMAN is an associate teaching professor of advanced writing at Penn State, speaker, and author. She has written ten books, including the bestseller Seated with Christ: Living Freely in a Culture of Comparison, the award-winning Sent: Living a Life That Invites Others to Jesus (cowritten with her husband, Ashley Holleman), and The Six Conversations: Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility. Heather works with her husband, Ashley, in the ministry they founded called Seated&Sent. Learn more about Heather's books at HeatherHolleman.com

GARY CHAPMAN, PhD–author, speaker, counselor–has a passion for people and for helping them form lasting relationships. He is the #1 bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages® series and director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information, visit his website at www.5lovelanguages.com.

Dr. Gary Chapman is best known for helping to improve or heal our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over fifty years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Languages™ series, The Five Love Languages®: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Millions of readers credit this continual #1 New York Times bestseller with saving their marriage by showing them simple and practical ways to communicate love to one another.

Since the success of his first book, Dr. Chapman has expanded the Love Languages™ series to specifically reach out to teens, singles, men, children, and military families.

Dr. Chapman speaks to thousands of couples nationwide through his weekend marriage conferences. He hosts nationally syndicated radio programs, A Love Language Minute, and Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, that air on more than 300 stations. After fifty years of service, Dr. Chapman recently retired from his role as senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Table of Contents

Foreword Gary Chapman 7

Introduction: A Conversation Revival 9

Part 1 What is a Loving Conversation?

1 The Four Mindsets of a Loving Conversation 19

2 A Theology of a Loving Conversation 41

3 Our Current Climate 51

4 What's a Conversation For? 63

5 What Goes Wrong in Conversation 81

Part 2 Fresh Conversations

6 Revisiting the Basics 93

7 Handling Fear and Self-Consciousness 109

8 The Six Conversations 119

Part 3 A Daily Practice

9 Discovering Your Default Conversation 151

10 Discovering Another Persons Preferred Conversation 157

11 Moving Toward the Greatest Conversation 163

Appendix: Professor Holleman's 100 Favorite Questions to Get to Know Her Students (or Anyone) 175

Acknowledgments 181

Notes 183

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“The extent of our isolation and loneliness is tragically evident everywhere—and this beautifully written and carefully crafted book is a powerful antidote. Its simple practices offer the experience promised to us in the Bible that ‘where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them’ (Matt. 18:20). Here is a path forward to the connectedness that can bring us out of terrifying isolation and into the experience of the sacred. I am very grateful that this book exists!”
—Margaret Wheatley
Author of ten books, including Leadership and the New Science and Who Do We Choose to Be?

 “In a world desperately in need of connection, this book is the tool we have been waiting for. As a counselor, I see people longing for heart connection but lacking the tools for conversation. This book is a life-changing treasure chest full of practical tips to help us find a community that has depth and connection. Heather’s writing feels like having coffee with a friend who is training us how to have meaningful relationships through the beautiful art of conversations.”
—Jennifer Hand
Author of My Yes Is on the Table and podcast host of Coming Alive Conversations

“I smiled many times reading this book; I could feel Heather’s loving, curious, and enthusiastic energy shine through—she walks the talk! The best of life is indeed conversation, and Heather shares powerful mindsets and frameworks to add vitality, meaning, and connection to any and all of our conversations.”
—Georgie Nightingall
Founder of Trigger Conversations (a London-based human connection organization)

“As a communication professor, I am constantly looking for resources and guides to help my students better engage in the process of relationship building. I am so excited about The Six Conversations by HeatherHolleman. At a time when people are increasingly divisive, we need more trained communicators who are willing to build bridges.”
—Heather Thompson Day
Author of It’s Not Your Turn

“When you read Heather Holleman’s new book, The Six Conversations, you will see how she not only knows how to connect with students, she also helps them grow in their ability to connect with others. And now Heather is doing the same for you and me! Before you finish reading The Six Conversations, you will be buying additional books to give to your friends and family to help them grow in their ability to connect with others too!”
—Bob Tiede
Blogger at LeadingWithQuestions.com; author of five popular books, including Great Leaders ASK Questions and Now That’s a Great Question

“If there was ever a time this book was needed, it is now! We live in a social media world filled with distractions, isolation, and incivility. In this book, Dr. Heather Holleman intervenes to revive the art of conversation that leads to deeper connections, something all of us desire. Our world desperately needs faith-filled communicators who can connect and engage with others, no matter their background, lifestyle, or beliefs. This book is life-changing!”
—Jen Bennett
Assistant Professor of Communication; host of the She Impacts Culture podcast; author of #BeWorthFollowing: How to Be Different and Influence People in a Crowded Social World

“As codirector of the Winsome Conviction Project, I’ve seen many conversations blow up with voices raised and relationships strained, or even severed. I’ve also seen some amazingly civil and compassionate conversations between people who deeply disagree. What’s made the difference? How much we think about not just what we want to say, but how to say it. Dr.Holleman’s book is a perfect tool for helping us understand how to develop a loving mindset heading into a conversation and how to maintain it when things get heated.”
—Tim Muehlhoff
Professor of Communication, Biola University; author of Winsome Conviction: Disagreeing without Dividing the Church

“We are living in times of strife and deep division. Our inability to hear and connect with others keeps us isolated and lonely. This is true on a national scale as well as within communities and in homes. Dr. Heather Holleman offers an accessible way for all of us to learn the skill of deeper connection through meaningful conversation. This is a worthwhile and practical book that I will return to over and over.”
—Vivian Mabuni
Author of Open Hands, Willing Heart; podcast host of Someday Is Here