The Social Sex: A History of Female Friendship

by Marilyn Yalom, Theresa Donovan Brown

Overview

“Fascinating . . . The Social Sex is a paean to companionship. Share it with a bosom friend.” —NPR

From historian and acclaimed feminist author of How the French Invented Love and A History of the Wife comes this rich, multifaceted history of the evolution of female friendship

In today’s culture, the bonds of female friendship are taken as a given. But only a few centuries ago, the idea of female friendship was completely unacknowledged, even pooh-poohed. Only men, the reasoning went, had the emotional and intellectual depth to develop and sustain these meaningful relationships.

Surveying history, literature, philosophy, religion, and pop culture, acclaimed author and historian Marilyn Yalom and co-author Theresa Donovan Brown demonstrate how women were able to co-opt the public face of friendship throughout the years. Chronicling shifting attitudes toward friendship—both female and male—from the Bible and the Romans to the Enlightenment to the women’s rights movements of the ‘60s up to Sex and the City and Bridesmaids, they reveal how the concept of female friendship has been inextricably linked to the larger social and cultural movements that have defined human history.

Armed with Yalom and Brown as our guides, we delve into the fascinating historical episodes and trends that illuminate the story of friendship between women: the literary salon as the original book club, the emergence of female professions and the working girl, the phenomenon of gossip, the advent of women’s sports, and more.

Lively, informative, and richly detailed, The Social Sex is a revelatory cultural history.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062265517
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	03/19/2024
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	400
File size:	955 KB

About the Author

Marilyn Yalom was a former professor of French and a senior scholar at the Clayman Institute for Gender Research at Stanford University. She was the author of widely acclaimed books such as A History of the Breast, A History of the Wife, Birth of the Chess Queen, and, most recently, How the French Invented Love. She lived in Palo Alto, California, with her husband, psychiatrist and author Irvin D. Yalom.

Theresa Donovan Brown is an award-winning author of both fiction and nonfiction. She holds a BA from Stanford University and an MBA from the Haas School of Business at the University of California, Berkeley. Her background writing policy-level speeches for global economic leaders, trading securities, and running a financial communications firm informs her insights into the cultural history of friendship.

Editorial Reviews

06/15/2015
Yalom (How the French Invented Love) and Brown digest impressive swaths of literature as they investigate the bonds between historical women, making the bulk of the book a showcase of exemplary pairs that examines the lives of medieval nuns, early modern French literati, American social activists, and political wives, among others. Later chapters speculate on modern developments such as female roommates forming “friendship households” and online social networks reconfiguring relationships. While the history demonstrates that, at any given moment, the cultural paradigm shapes how women express their devotion—from effusive “romantic friendships” among 19th-century women to online connections forged by social media among women today—the authors suggest that the “essentials of female friendship have remained constant through the centuries.” This sweeping, lighthearted, highly readable survey hints that beyond proximity, shared interests, and “reciprocity,” there is still some lovely mystery to what binds the “noncarnal union of similar souls.” Yalom and Brown confirm that “the benefits of friendship as an educational, ennobling, and personally satisfying experience” have been, and always will be, a “prized staple” of women’s lives. Agent: Sandra Dijkstra, Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency. (Sept.)

Publishers Weekly

In the brisk yet comprehensive The Social Sex: A History of Female Friendship (Harper Perennial), feminist historian Marilyn Yalom and writer Theresa Donovan Brown take a seriously playful approach to the evolution of women as social beings.” — Elle

“Compelling. . . .clear-headed understanding and appreciation of the deep bonds that women form, without the temptation to judge or label them.” — Los Angeles Times

“An extremely long view on women’s unique approach to non-sexual bonding. . . .Yalom and Brown argue ,’friendships are flourishing as never before.’” — New York Times

“Fascinating..for the minutiae it uncovers, the figures whose correspondence sparks biographical curiosity, and — not least — its insistence on the world-shifting power of female friendship, The Social Sex is a paean to companionship. Share it with a bosom friend.” — NPR

“Astute, well-balanced, and fact-filled ode to the companionship of women. . . this detailed, entertaining book provides the backbone for such sturdy, enduring relationships.” — Booklist

“This sweeping, lighthearted, highly readable survey hints that beyond proximity, shared interests, and ‘reciprocity,’ there is still some lovely mystery to what binds the ‘noncarnal union of similar souls.’” — Publishers Weekly

From the Publisher

Fascinating..for the minutiae it uncovers, the figures whose correspondence sparks biographical curiosity, and — not least — its insistence on the world-shifting power of female friendship, The Social Sex is a paean to companionship. Share it with a bosom friend.

NPR

An extremely long view on women’s unique approach to non-sexual bonding. . . .Yalom and Brown argue ,’friendships are flourishing as never before.’

New York Times

Compelling. . . .clear-headed understanding and appreciation of the deep bonds that women form, without the temptation to judge or label them.

|Los Angeles Times

In the brisk yet comprehensive The Social Sex: A History of Female Friendship (Harper Perennial), feminist historian Marilyn Yalom and writer Theresa Donovan Brown take a seriously playful approach to the evolution of women as social beings.

Elle

Astute, well-balanced, and fact-filled ode to the companionship of women. . . this detailed, entertaining book provides the backbone for such sturdy, enduring relationships.

Booklist

Astute, well-balanced, and fact-filled ode to the companionship of women. . . this detailed, entertaining book provides the backbone for such sturdy, enduring relationships.

Booklist

Compelling. . . .clear-headed understanding and appreciation of the deep bonds that women form, without the temptation to judge or label them.

Los Angeles Times

06/01/2015
With this work, coauthors Yalom (A History of the Wife; A History of the Breast) and Brown (Summitville) promise a history of female friendship, an ambitious project that varies in depth and complexity. Especially in the early chapters, the authors gloss over now-recognized female authors in favor of men's versions of women (e.g., William Shakespeare's female characters receive ample attention) and unintentionally reinforce stereotypes about early modern women. This history also straddles the line between anachronism and empathy. While compelling theoretical claims are asserted about the nature of female friendships, at times they fall victim to contemporary ideas about sexuality, even as they acknowledge them. (This is particularly evident in the chapter on Romantic poetry and female romance). Many of these difficulties may have been obviated, and a more nuanced exploration of female friendship created, if Yalom and Brown had taken the material from their epilog, which identifies affection, self-revelation, physical contact, and interdependence as touchstones of female relationships, and used it to create a framework for the book. VERDICT This treatment is a comprehensive overview of friendship among women; while its expansiveness makes it a fun and exhilarating read, at times the narrative lacks specificity.—Emily Bowles, Building for Kids Children's Museum, Appleton, WI

Library Journal