The Straight-up Truth about the Down-Low: Women Share Their Stories of Betrayal, Pain and Survival

Overview

You can't believe it. It can't be true. No . . . not him and no not you, but deep in your heart, you know it's true. All the pieces of the puzzle were there . . . . but, you couldn't connect the dots because your heart refused to believe what your brain and your intuition were telling you. What happened to your dream, your life, your sense of security? Something has suddenly snatched it all away, but where were you? Why didn't you see it coming?

You discover your husband is secretly sleeping with men. He is part of the secretive subculture known as the "down-low." You feel shocked and disgusted, ashamed, humiliated, angry, stupid, foolish, victimized, hurt, betrayed, deceived, shattered, confused, devastated and used. You feel dirty, violated and terrified about the possibility of being infected with HIV or some other nasty STD. You find yourself on an emotional roller coaster, plunging deep into despair, desperate to get off. You search frantically for answers, validation for your feelings and even something . . . anything to prove you wrong. You surf the net desperately seeking information. However, you discover that the on-line support groups are geared towardhelping the gay person come to terms with their own sexuality, but nothing to help you. You're left feeling ignored, overlooked and victimized all over again.

The purpose of this book is to provide support and resources for the wives, lovers and families that have been victimized by homosexual men masquerading as straight. Our intent is to educate and inform women that may encounter men on the down-low and support the women who have experienced it already. We believe the account of our experiences and what we have learned will bring about awareness and a heightened sense of self-responsibility. We believe our lives should be in our own hands and not in the hands of those who only speak about this subject to defend the down-low, to further misinform women and/or to make money. We have chosen to write this book in order to speak for ourselves and not allow someone else to tell our story.

This is not a book full of statistics, articles or scientific data. It was written by two women who have experienced the anguish and misery of being married to men on the down-low. They will share from the depths of their hearts, souls and minds as they tell their stories and the stories of other women who have lived through this experience. Contrary to the beliefs of some authors, there are telltale signs when a man is on the down-low. We will address those signs and answer many of your questions that have been ignored by other books written on the subject.