The Teleportation Accident: A Novel [NOOK Book]

Overview

When you haven't had sex in a long time, it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen.

If you're living in Germany in the 1930s, it probably isn't.

But that's no consolation to Egon Loeser, whose carnal misfortunes will push him from the experimental theaters of Berlin to the absinthe bars of Paris to the physics laboratories of Los Angeles, trying all the while ...
See more details below
The Teleportation Accident: A Novel

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$9.99
BN.com price
(Save 9%)$10.99 List Price

Overview

When you haven't had sex in a long time, it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen.

If you're living in Germany in the 1930s, it probably isn't.

But that's no consolation to Egon Loeser, whose carnal misfortunes will push him from the experimental theaters of Berlin to the absinthe bars of Paris to the physics laboratories of Los Angeles, trying all the while to solve two mysteries: Was it really a deal with Satan that claimed the life of his hero, Renaissance set designer Adriano Lavicini, creator of the so-called Teleportation Device? And why is it that a handsome, clever, modest guy like him can'tjust once in a whileget himself laid?

From Ned Beauman, the author of the acclaimed Boxer, Beetle, comes a historical novel that doesn't know what year it is; a noir novel that turns all the lights on; a romance novel that arrives drunk to dinner; a science fiction novel that can't remember what isotope means; a stunningly inventive, exceptionally funny, dangerously unsteady and (largely) coherent novel about sex, violence, space, time, and how the best way to deal with history is to ignore it.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

The Washington Post - Wendy Smith
Endlessly witty and furiously inventive, Ned Beauman's second novel…consolidates…Beauman's stature as a formidably accomplished writer…Beauman flaunts an almost indecently pleasurable way with words as he piles on outrageous developments…It's rare for a book to stimulate the brain cells and the funny bone with equal gusto, but Beauman has a knack for embedding trenchant philosophical blasts in punch lines…You laugh, then you flinch. On the evidence of his first novel, Boxer, Beetle, and now this brilliantly clever and covertly humane book, Beauman promises to keep us laughing and flinching for years to come.
From the Publisher
"Gobsmackingly clever." - Vanity Fair

 

"The Teleportation Accident is a singular novel — singularly clever, singularly audacious, singularly strange — from a singular, and almost recklessly gifted, young writer." - Time.com

 

"Endlessly witty and furiously inventive, Ned Beauman's second novel... consolidates [his] stature as a formidably accomplished writer... Beauman flaunts an almost indecently pleasurable way with words as he piles on outrageous developments... This [is a] dazzling entertainment. It's rare for a book to stimulate the brain cells and the funny bone with equal gusto, but Beauman has a knack for embedding trenchant philosophical blasts in punch lines... You laugh, then you flinch. On the evidence of his first novel,  Boxer Beetle, and now this brilliantly clever and covertly humane book, Beauman promises to keep us laughing and flinching for years to come." - The Washington Post

 

"Brilliant... If there was ever any worry that [Beauman] might have crammed all his ideas into his first book, the prize-winning Boxer, Beetle, this makes it clear he kept a secret bunker of his best ones aside." – Joe Dunthorne, The Guardian

 

"Fiendishly clever... This fizzy novel is a great time machine all its own, jumping between the Renaissance and the future, flirting with noir, sci-fi, and romance, and skewering the ‘same empty people going to the same empty parties’ along the way. Every generation gets the hipster satire it deserves. But this one's for every generation. Grade: A”—Melissa Maerz, Entertainment Weekly

 

"Inspired... Beauman has an unflagging imagination and an indefatigable gift for comedy." - Publishers Weekly

 

"Funny and startlingly inventive... Beauman is undoubtedly a writer of prodigious talent, and there are enough ideas [here]... to fill myriad lesser novels." – The Financial Times

 

"Brilliantly written... A confounding sci-fi-noir-comedy mashup overstuffed with astute social observations, high-brow literary allusions, stupendous Pynchonian names and prose so odd and marvelous that every few pages I had to stop and reread a passage." - Jennifer Reese, NPR.org

 

 "There is so much going on in this truly bizarre novel—everything from slapstick to noir to steampunk—that discombobulated readers may feel as though they’ve fallen down a narrative wormhole. But what a wormhole! ... Brilliant." - Bill Ott, Booklist (starred review) 

 

"The oversized, exuberant, and farcical plot of The Teleportation Accident is more entertaining than any summary can convey... [Beauman] has the knack for populating his tale with absurd secondary characters, spinning seemingly minor details into long-running jokes, and for placing his protagonist into precarious, comically rich scrapes. The result is rewarding; there are no such thing as pointless digressions in The Teleportation Accident, just the rollicking tale of a hapless Loeser following his heart." - Daily Beast

 

"As wild a cast of eccentrics and madmen, scammers and venal self-servers, hapless saps and trodden-down dreamers, as you have seen since the heyday of J. P. Donleavy or Evelyn Waugh… Teleporting directly into the ranks of such mythomaniacal jesters as Nick Sagan and Christopher Moore, Ned Beauman kicks any sophomore qualms to the curb." - B&N Review

 

"Incredibly intelligent, fantastically distracted... You won’t read a more memorable novel about sex, obsession and the sticky stuff of science fiction this year, if ever....Profoundly funny, and on the sentence level, simply exhilarating." - Tor.com

 

"Bizarre, original, and satisfying... [Beauman is] a special talent... He takes the sort of risks that writers under 30 should take, but rarely do."- BookPage

 

"Beauman has created a wacky mash-up of a hefty number of genres — historical fiction, noir, slapstick, science fiction and satire — populated by sinners, ghouls and Caltech physicists and set mainly in the pre-World War II period. And, yes, there is a teleportation device." - Star-Telegram (Fort Worth)

 

“[A] pyrotechnical... violently clever... highly cerebral… frantically entertaining pasteboard extravaganza… Extraordinary." –The Sunday Times

 

"Popping with ideas, fizzing with vitality, and great fun." – The Independent on Sunday

 

"Stylistically radical... Virtuosic... An unquestionably brilliant novel, ribald and wise in equal measure... Witty and sometimes deeply moving." –Times Literary Supplement

 

“A glorious, over-the-top production, crackling with inventive wit and seething with pitchy humour . . . It’s as if the English tradition of humorous novels (PG Wodehouse, Kingsley Amis, Evelyn Waugh) and American comic fiction (Thomas Pynchon, Kurt Vonnegut, John Barth) have had their molecules recombined . . . A beguiling success.” —The Scotsman

 

“If you care about contemporary fiction, you must read this.” —Tatler

 

The Barnes & Noble Review

Thomas Pynchon surely inaugurated or crystallized a new genre in 1963 when he published V. The seriocomic mystery or thriller with one foot set in the present and one in various historical eras received its postmodern baptism from Pynchon. This type of novel can function in a stripped-down condition — all plot — but also thrives when festooned with arcane systems and symbology. The mode has proven congenial to everyone from Umberto Eco to Dan Brown and shows no signs of decaying.

Ned Beauman's first novel, Boxer, Beetle, is a majestic example of the genre, situated midway along the spectrum that runs from pure storytelling to mythic and occult brocaded allusiveness. Our contemporary narrator is Kevin Broom, compulsive smalltime dealer in Nazi memorabilia. He's employed by a rich real estate magnate with the same avaricious and slightly dirty impulses, who's on the track of an astonishing and rare item. But the intervention of a hired assassin also out for the prize raises the stakes considerably, leading Kevin on mad quest across modern Britain.

Meanwhile, back in the mid-1930s, entomologist Philip Erskine — self- hating homosexual and eugenics-spouting fascist — happens to become fascinated by a bantamweight boxer named Sinner Roach. Their tale actually fills most of these pages, and it's rather like Indiana Jones meets Monty Python. We encounter various underworlds and upper crusts. Erskine and Sinner, as well as all the subsidiary characters, are depicted with a light, assured, hand. The writing, especially the dialogue and strikingly gonzo metaphors, leaps off the page and into your lap, much like one of Erskine's overbred beetles or Sinner's punches. The musings on fascism, Darwinism, the class structure and a host of other issues is bright-eyed and compelling. Beauman offers thematic and prose flavorings akin to Liz Jensen, T. C. Boyle, Tom McCarthy and Will Self, but blended into a unique voice.

On first glance, Beauman's second novel, The Teleportation Accident, abandons this parallel construction, having no twenty- first-century thread, all its realtime action taking place from the years 1931 to 1962 (with a couple of essential exceptions, especially a coda set in a far future owing something to Kurt Vonnegut). But on closer inspection, the bipartite framework is intact, for the original incident that gives the novel its title occurred in 1679, and it impels the entire book, like a small buried seed from which a lush plant sprouts.

In that far-off year, Venetian set designer Adriano Lavicini debuted a device intended to simulate teleportation onstage, instantly transporting a character from one painted milieu to another. The mechanism was to be used in a Parisian theater, with Louis XIV in the audience. But disaster ensued, with the partial destruction of the building, resulting in Lavicini's own death and the deaths of many others.

Savvy readers will immediately note a kinship to Christopher Priest's The Prestige, a novel of similar legerdemain, honored by a film of great aplomb. But any such comparisons must take into account that the theatrical aspect here rapidly becomes secondary, and that the tone, opposed to Priest's solemnity, is rather as if Christopher Guest & Co. (A Mighty Wind; Best in Show) were at the controls.

In 1930s Berlin, our quite despicable antihero, Egon Loeser ("Ego Loser?" Yes!), also a set designer in a desultory fashion, is intent on recreating Lavicini's mechanism. But his ambitions reach an abortive end early on. Just as well, since he has fallen in love with one Adele Hitler (no relation to any rising Bavarian politician), Egon's ex-tutoree now matured into a ravishing beauty. She will function as the strange attractor of Egon's life for the next ten years and more. He will follow her first to Paris and then to Los Angeles, experiencing the most exquisitely dreadful comical experiences possible, hilarious encounters with as wild a cast of eccentrics and madmen, scammers and venal self- servers, hapless saps and trodden-down dreamers, as you have seen since the heyday of J. P. Donleavy or Evelyn Waugh. All of these incidents are presented in elegant yet forceful prose, graced with the most arch and rude colorful metaphors. "It was one of those country parties where it felt as if no matter where you went you were always being watched by either a live horse or a dead stag, until you found yourself lingering by the washbasin after a piss just to escape this weirdly oppressive ungulate panopticon."

But woven into the weft of mimetic tomfoolery is a warp of highly unusual events. What really happened in the Théâtre des Encornets in 1769? Why is the U.S. State Department using the fiction of H. P. Lovecraft as their battle plan? Has Professor Bailey of CalTech actually succeeded in building a working teleportation device? Who is the serial killer stalking the campus? What lies in the locked vault of car-polish millionaire Colonel Gorge? Will Mickey Spillane–style author Stent Mutton be able to switch genres to science fiction? (Shades of Kilgore Trout!) I guarantee that no reader will succeed in outguessing Beauman. He plays more than fair but juggles so many balls so hypnotically, that all bets are off. Yet in a bravura finale of "four endings," he ties everything together satisfactorily and effortlessly with the precision of a brain surgeon.

Beauman's tale gives immense pleasure in two areas outside of sheer plot. First is his endless fecundity of invention and specificity. No setting is unburnished, no individual, even walk-ons, left undistinguished. Second, and more amazing, is his patterning ability — a skill so important to an author yet one of those writerly talents hard to quantify and rarely cited in reviews. It's a delight to watch as an anecdote mentioned on page 4 gets its punch line 300 pages later. Such frissons are all too rare. Teleporting directly into the ranks of such mythomaniacal jesters as Nick Sagan and Christopher Moore, Ned Beauman kicks any sophomore qualms to the curb.

Author of several acclaimed novels and story collections, including Fractal Paisleys, Little Doors, and Neutrino Drag, Paul Di Filippo was nominated for a Sturgeon Award, a Hugo Award, and a World Fantasy Award — all in a single year. William Gibson has called his work "spooky, haunting, and hilarious." His reviews have appeared in The Washington Post, Science Fiction Weekly, Asimov's Magazine, andThe San Francisco Chronicle.

Reviewer: Paul Di Filippo

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781620400241
  • Publisher: Bloomsbury USA
  • Publication date: 2/26/2013
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 368
  • Sales rank: 220,197
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author

Ned Beauman was born in 1985 and studied philosophy at Cambridge University. He has written for Dazed & Confused, AnOther Magazine, the Guardian, the Financial Times, and several other magazines and newspapers. He lives in London and is is at work on his second novel. Visit boxerbeetle.com.
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3
( 24 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(8)

4 Star

(3)

3 Star

(3)

2 Star

(3)

1 Star

(7)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 24 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

    ???

    So what is the book about? The editorial reviews describe it as so terribly funny, but not why. I won't buy any book if I have no idea what it is about!

    14 out of 85 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

    What??

    Why are these awful books all that's offered for daily specials? Makes me wish I'd bought a Kindle.....

    13 out of 73 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted December 10, 2013

    I put 5 stars to off set the 1 star negative reviews by the peop

    I put 5 stars to off set the 1 star negative reviews by the people who haven't even read the book. To condemn someones work without reading it is horrendous!

    11 out of 28 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

    Don't rate if not read please

    I put 5 to offset the 1's unearned. I have not read it yet but here is approx what is from the actual Barnes and Noble site "a genre mash-up of science fiction" with history, comedy, mixed in. It is the authors second novel and was on the "long" list" for an award. If you want to know more about it go to the main site or google darn it! Yes, there should be more in the overview, but just do some homework before posting a 1 star, unless read it is not helpful, just as this 5 really isn't except as a means to give more information and try to redeem a rating unfairly earned.

    10 out of 26 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

    Just read it

    Ned Beauman is brilliant, a deviant, a comic genius--a marvel of a human being. This book will have you in stitches, guaranteed. It's 2.99 today; what more could you want?

    10 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

    Ned Beauman is a brilliant, funny writer and this book is a whir

    Ned Beauman is a brilliant, funny writer and this book is a whirlwind romp touching on everything from theater to physics. If you like your books smart and a little absurd (in the best possible way), give this one a go.

    9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

    No information

    Not getting book

    2 out of 66 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2014

    Just cause

    5stars for no reason what so ever. Just cause.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 10, 2014

    Unpredictable, crazy, madcap, weirdp

    This is a quirky,entertaining read. Nothing is like it seems.
    The protagonist of this story, Egon Loeser, (looks a lot like
    ego loser ?) , is a theater tech whose circuitous adventures
    Jn searh of his love interest (he is, she is not) and certain shady characters who may know her whereabouts lead to crime, murder , and mayhem. His dialogue is hilarious as he speaks In mismatched similies, and employs convoluted logic.
    You keep thinking you know where the plot is going, but,
    just when you think you have it sorted out, it changes.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2014

    Brilliant

    This is a brilliant novel, a rollercoaster of a ride. Thr characters were well rounded.

    The novel rolls through Berlin just prior to Hitler rising to power. The action then moves to Paris and from there to Los Angeles.

    Egon Loeser is the main character and he is looking for love.

    Read it!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 16, 2014

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 2, 2014

    If I could give this novel less than one star I would. I read it

    If I could give this novel less than one star I would. I read it or tried to and I couldn't finish it. A waste of time and money Not a bit humorous and it is about nothing, but talking about sexual encounters at parties and in restaurants. Save your money for a good book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2014

    Sucks

    I tried reading this book. Sat it aside and tried again. I skipped some pages and tried some more. As far as i'm concerned don't waste your time. Wish I would have read the reviews first. : (




    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 31, 2013

    Smart and stylish genre-bender

    Quite nicely put together. Very lyrical prose.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 28, 2013

    What up....

    What is this book about.. come on b&n. Information would be helpfull regarding the subject matter of the book for us readers.

    0 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 27, 2013

    Ok

    Intriguing tittle...

    0 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 18, 2013

    Did not like

    Waste of time

    0 out of 16 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

     

     

    0 out of 23 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 23, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 24 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)