Uh-oh, it looks like your Internet Explorer is out of date.

For a better shopping experience, please upgrade now.

The Teleportation Accident

The Teleportation Accident

3.0 24
by Ned Beauman

See All Formats & Editions

When you havent had sex in a long time, it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen.

If youre living in Germany in the 1930s, it probably isnt.

But thats no consolation to Egon Loeser, whose carnal misfortunes will push him from the experimental theaters of Berlin to the absinthe bars of Paris to the physics laboratories of Los Angeles,


When you havent had sex in a long time, it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen.

If youre living in Germany in the 1930s, it probably isnt.

But thats no consolation to Egon Loeser, whose carnal misfortunes will push him from the experimental theaters of Berlin to the absinthe bars of Paris to the physics laboratories of Los Angeles, trying all the while to solve two mysteries: Was it really a deal with Satan that claimed the life of his hero, Renaissance set designer Adriano Lavicini, creator of the so-called Teleportation Device? And why is it that a handsome, clever, modest guy like him cant-just once in a while-get himself laid?

From Ned Beauman, the author of the acclaimed Boxer, Beetle, comes a historical novel that doesnt know what year it is; a noir novel that turns all the lights on; a romance novel that arrives drunk to dinner; a science fiction novel that cant remember what isotope means; a stunningly inventive, exceptionally funny, dangerously unsteady and (largely) coherent novel about sex, violence, space, time, and how the best way to deal with history is to ignore it.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Beauman's inspired second novel introduces us to peripatetic, ever-horny Egon Loeser, a Berlin set designer of the early 1930s who leaves his city on account of someone named Hitler—not Adolph, but Adele (no relation), a young beauty impervious to Egon's charms. He follows her to Paris, then L.A., as his social set flees the encroaching horrors of National Socialism at home. Egon finds his love at CalTech, working for a physicist who might have discovered the secret of teleportation, a coincidence, because back in Berlin, Egon was working on his own, stagecraft version, based on an elaborate mechanical device from 1679. There are others who covet the physicist's secret, including a crime novelist's cuckolding wife and a cracked Pasadena millionaire who has made his fortune in car polish, and Egon becomes enmeshed in a conspiracy involving an NKVD spy, a serial killer, and the writings of H.P. Lovecraft. Beauman (Boxer, Beetle) has an unflagging imagination and an indefatigable gift for comedy. His overstuffed (in a good way) novel comprises memorable comic dialogue and hilarious set pieces. While Egon may not be the most admirable of protagonists, in Beauman's hands his voyage of self-discovery illuminates a pivotal moment in 20th-century history. Agent: David Forrer, Inkwell Management. (Feb.)
From the Publisher

“Gobsmackingly clever.” —Vanity Fair

The Teleportation Accident is a singular novel -- singularly clever, singularly audacious, singularly strange--from a singular, and almost recklessly gifted, young writer.” —Time.com

“Endlessly witty and furiously inventive, Ned Beauman's second novel... consolidates [his] stature as a formidably accomplished writer... Beauman flaunts an almost indecently pleasurable way with words as he piles on outrageous developments... This [is a] dazzling entertainment. It's rare for a book to stimulate the brain cells and the funny bone with equal gusto, but Beauman has a knack for embedding trenchant philosophical blasts in punch lines... You laugh, then you flinch. On the evidence of his first novel, Boxer Beetle, and now this brilliantly clever and covertly humane book, Beauman promises to keep us laughing and flinching for years to come.” —The Washington Post

“Brilliant... If there was ever any worry that [Beauman] might have crammed all his ideas into his first book, the prize-winning Boxer, Beetle, this makes it clear he kept a secret bunker of his best ones aside.” —Joe Dunthorne, The Guardian

“Fiendishly clever... This fizzy novel is a great time machine all its own, jumping between the Renaissance and the future, flirting with noir, sci-fi, and romance, and skewering the ‘same empty people going to the same empty parties' along the way. Every generation gets the hipster satire it deserves. But this one's for every generation. Grade: A” —Melissa Maerz, Entertainment Weekly

“Inspired... Beauman has an unflagging imagination and an indefatigable gift for comedy.” —Publishers Weekly

“Funny and startlingly inventive... Beauman is undoubtedly a writer of prodigious talent, and there are enough ideas [here]... to fill myriad lesser novels.” —The Financial Times

“Brilliantly written... A confounding sci-fi-noir-comedy mashup overstuffed with astute social observations, high-brow literary allusions, stupendous Pynchonian names and prose so odd and marvelous that every few pages I had to stop and reread a passage.” —Jennifer Reese, NPR.org

“There is so much going on in this truly bizarre novel—everything from slapstick to noir to steampunk—that discombobulated readers may feel as though they’ve fallen down a narrative wormhole. But what a wormhole! ... Brilliant.” —Bill Ott, Booklist (starred review)

“The oversized, exuberant, and farcical plot of The Teleportation Accident is more entertaining than any summary can convey... [Beauman] has the knack for populating his tale with absurd secondary characters, spinning seemingly minor details into long-running jokes, and for placing his protagonist into precarious, comically rich scrapes. The result is rewarding; there are no such thing as pointless digressions in The Teleportation Accident, just the rollicking tale of a hapless Loeser following his heart.” —Daily Beast

“As wild a cast of eccentrics and madmen, scammers and venal self-servers, hapless saps and trodden-down dreamers, as you have seen since the heyday of J. P. Donleavy or Evelyn Waugh… Teleporting directly into the ranks of such mythomaniacal jesters as Nick Sagan and Christopher Moore, Ned Beauman kicks any sophomore qualms to the curb.” —B&N Review

“Incredibly intelligent, fantastically distracted... You won't read a more memorable novel about sex, obsession and the sticky stuff of science fiction this year, if ever....Profoundly funny, and on the sentence level, simply exhilarating.” —Tor.com

“Bizarre, original, and satisfying... [Beauman is] a special talent... He takes the sort of risks that writers under 30 should take, but rarely do.” —BookPage

“Beauman has created a wacky mash-up of a hefty number of genres -- historical fiction, noir, slapstick, science fiction and satire -- populated by sinners, ghouls and Caltech physicists and set mainly in the pre-World War II period. And, yes, there is a teleportation device.” —Star-Telegram (Fort Worth

“[A] pyrotechnical... violently clever... highly cerebral… frantically entertaining pasteboard extravaganza… Extraordinary.” —The Sunday Times

“Popping with ideas, fizzing with vitality, and great fun.” —The Independent on Sunday

“Stylistically radical... Virtuosic... An unquestionably brilliant novel, ribald and wise in equal measure... Witty and sometimes deeply moving.” —Times Literary Supplement

“A glorious, over-the-top production, crackling with inventive wit and seething with pitchy humour . . . It's as if the English tradition of humorous novels (PG Wodehouse, Kingsley Amis, Evelyn Waugh) and American comic fiction (Thomas Pynchon, Kurt Vonnegut, John Barth) have had their molecules recombined . . . A beguiling success.” —The Scotsman

“If you care about contemporary fiction, you must read this.” —Tatler

Product Details

Bloomsbury USA
Publication date:
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Sales rank:
File size:
3 MB

Meet the Author

Ned Beauman was born in London and studied at Cambridge. His writing has appeared widely, including in The Guardian and The Financial Times. His first novel, Boxer, Beetle was widely acclaimed and won the National Jewish Book Award. Beauman lives in New York.
Ned Beauman was born in 1985 and studied philosophy at Cambridge University. He has written for Dazed & Confused, AnOther Magazine, the Guardian, the Financial Times, and several other magazines and newspapers. He lives in London and is is at work on his second novel. Visit www.boxerbeetle.com.

Customer Reviews

Average Review:

Post to your social network


Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See all customer reviews

The Teleportation Accident: A Novel 3.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 24 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Ned Beauman is a brilliant, funny writer and this book is a whirlwind romp touching on everything from theater to physics. If you like your books smart and a little absurd (in the best possible way), give this one a go.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Ned Beauman is brilliant, a deviant, a comic genius--a marvel of a human being. This book will have you in stitches, guaranteed. It's 2.99 today; what more could you want?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a quirky,entertaining read. Nothing is like it seems. The protagonist of this story, Egon Loeser, (looks a lot like ego loser ?) , is a theater tech whose circuitous adventures Jn searh of his love interest (he is, she is not) and certain shady characters who may know her whereabouts lead to crime, murder , and mayhem. His dialogue is hilarious as he speaks In mismatched similies, and employs convoluted logic. You keep thinking you know where the plot is going, but, just when you think you have it sorted out, it changes.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a brilliant novel, a rollercoaster of a ride. Thr characters were well rounded. The novel rolls through Berlin just prior to Hitler rising to power. The action then moves to Paris and from there to Los Angeles. Egon Loeser is the main character and he is looking for love. Read it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If I could give this novel less than one star I would. I read it or tried to and I couldn't finish it. A waste of time and money Not a bit humorous and it is about nothing, but talking about sexual encounters at parties and in restaurants. Save your money for a good book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Quite nicely put together. Very lyrical prose.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I tried reading this book. Sat it aside and tried again. I skipped some pages and tried some more. As far as i'm concerned don't waste your time. Wish I would have read the reviews first. : (
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
5stars for no reason what so ever. Just cause.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I put 5 to offset the 1's unearned. I have not read it yet but here is approx what is from the actual Barnes and Noble site "a genre mash-up of science fiction" with history, comedy, mixed in. It is the authors second novel and was on the "long" list" for an award. If you want to know more about it go to the main site or google darn it! Yes, there should be more in the overview, but just do some homework before posting a 1 star, unless read it is not helpful, just as this 5 really isn't except as a means to give more information and try to redeem a rating unfairly earned.
ldlrvt More than 1 year ago
I put 5 stars to off set the 1 star negative reviews by the people who haven't even read the book. To condemn someones work without reading it is horrendous!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Intriguing tittle...
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
What is this book about.. come on b&n. Information would be helpfull regarding the subject matter of the book for us readers.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Waste of time
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Why are these awful books all that's offered for daily specials? Makes me wish I'd bought a Kindle.....
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So what is the book about? The editorial reviews describe it as so terribly funny, but not why. I won't buy any book if I have no idea what it is about!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Not getting book