Table of Contents
Introduction: The Killer in Me xvii
Prologue: Me and My PTSD 1
Part I The Killing Business: What's It Like to Kill in War?
Chapter 1 Killing Up Close 25
Corporal William Wold, U.S.M.C.
3rd Battalion, 1st Marines
The War in Iraq (2004)
Chapter 2 Pulling the Trigger 59
Staff Sergeant Mikeal Auton, U.S. Army
1st Battalion, 4th Infantry
The War in Iraq (2004 and 2006)
Part II The Wounds of War: What's It Like to Be Shot, Bombed or Burned in Combat?
Chapter 3 Survivor's Guilt 77
Lance Corporal James Sperry, U.S.M.C.
3rd Battalion, 1st Marines
The War in Iraq (2004)
Chapter 4 Someone's Not Listening 125
Gunnery Sergeant Leonard Shelton, U.S.M.C.
3rd Battalion, 5th Marines
The Gulf War (1991)
Intermission: The Greatest Veneration: My Father's War 141
Part III Things That Stain the Soul: What Can Never Be Forgotten?
Chapter 5 Dogs of War 153
Specialist Joe Caley, U.S. Army
1st Cavalry, 25th Infantry
The War in Vietnam (1968-70)
Chapter 6 Hung on a Cross 165
First Lieutenant Thomas Saal, U.S.M.C.
3rd Battalion, 5th Marines
The War in Vietnam (1967-68)
Part IV Deadly Honest Mistakes: What's It Like to Kill Your Own Men or Civilians?
Chapter 7 Unfriendly Fire 185
Specialist Michael "Casey" Ayala, U.S. Army
1st Battalion, 327th Infantry
The War in Iraq (2006)
Chapter 8 Making It Right 205
Captain Zachary Iscol, U.S.M.C.
3rd Battalion, 1st Marines
The War in Iraq (2003-05)
Part V Moral Ambiguities: How Do You Know What's Right?
Chapter 9 Morris versus Mo 223
Colonel Morris Goins, U.S. Army
1st Battalion, 12th Cavalry
The War in Iraq (2006-08)
Chapter 10 The Quiet Soldier 233
Major Lior Tailer, Israel Defense Forces
609th Reserve Infantry Unit
The Wars in Lebanon (1989-90 and 2006)
Chapter 11 Into the Deep 255
Corporal Sebastiaan Schoonhoven, Royal Netherlands Army
11th Air Mobile Brigade
The Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (2004 and 2006)
Epilogue: Deus Ex Machina 277
Acknowledgments 291