The Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement from the Inside Out

by Michèle Huff

Overview

A down-to-earth approach to negotiating that focuses on connecting with others and coming to an agreement, rather than simply “winning.”

This innovative book presents a transformative approach to negotiation that weaves together the spiritual and the strategic. You'll learn a profoundly effective way of communication that will help you move past the ordinary mechanics of negotiations and achieve realistic goals and positive, lasting outcomes. This holistic, mindful method will change the way you interact with people in all areas of your life.

Attorney Michèle Huff has negotiated on behalf of Fortune 500 companies, startup companies, and government entities as well as hundreds of individual clients. She is currently the University of New Mexico's lawyer for research, technology, and intellectual property.

“The Transformative Negotiator is a beautifully written meditation on the art of human interaction. Huff writes from the heart, not just the head. The book is easy to read, with practical advice and an engaging wide range of stories about how to come to agreement.”
—Natalie Goldberg, bestselling author of Writing Down the Bones, Wild Mind, and The True Secret of Writing

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781936268801
Publisher:	High Conflict Institute Press
Publication date:	04/07/2015
Edition description:	New Edition
Pages:	173
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Michèle Huff is an attorney who has negotiated on behalf of Fortune 500 companies, including Oracle Corporation, Sun Microsystems, and Canal+ and start-up companies, including Kalepa Networks and Cinnafilm. She has also negotiated on behalf of hundreds of individual clients and manages the Archer Law Group, a firm specializing in protecting and licensing creative properties.

Since 2008, she has been the University of New Mexico’s lawyer for research, technology and intellectual property. She negotiates agreements with industry, academic institutions, and governmental agencies on a regular basis. Michèle has taught intellectual property and licensing at the University of New Mexico’s School of Law, and has led negotiation workshops for local community foundations, technology venture associations, and business incubators. In May, she co-presented a session on Transformative Negotiation at NBIA’s 28th International Conference on Business Incubation in New Orleans. She was named one of Albuquerque Business First’s 2014 Women of Influence.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction: Connection 1

1 Really Listen 5

2 Say It Clearly, without Charge 15

3 Check Assumptions and Expectations 21

4 Know Thyself-and Much More 27

5 Ask Why You Are Negotiating 35

6 Create Optimal Conditions 41

7 Do It in Person 49

8 Consider Language and Culture 53

9 Observe the Gender Gap 61

10 Set Realistic Goals 69

11 Uncover Needs 73

12 Construct and Reconstruct Frames 81

13 Validate Opposing Views 87

14 Check Your Perspective 91

15 Adjust Your Posture 95

16 Find Your Anchors 99

17 Keep Deadlines at Bay 105

18 Build Trust 109

19 Trust Your Gut 113

20 Apply Leverage 117

21 Address Power Imbalances 125

22 Practice Humility 131

23 Manage Anger 135

24 Be Patient 141

25 Influence by Educating 145

26 Persevere 149

27 Leave the Past Behind 153

28 Embrace the Present; Move into the Future 159

Conclusion: Transformation 163

Notes 167

Bibliography and Suggested Reading 171

About the Author 173

Editorial Reviews

The skills covered in this precise volume will “transform” both negotiated outcomes and the participants themselves. Accomplished negotiator and attorney Michèle Huff draws from Buddhist concepts of mindfulness, her personal business experiences, and examples ranging from Nelson Mandela, Henry Kissinger, and the Dalai Lama to explain core techniques that work as well as those that do not. Simple exercises throughout illustrate key concepts readers can make their own. From awareness of physical aspects such as posture and breathing, to controlling anger, and the sophisticated practice of humility, these techniques will prove invaluable any time negotiation partners need to come to agreement and in everyday life.”
—Marie Longserre, CEO Santa Fe Business Incubator, former Board Chair National Business Incubation Association

“Huff layers MBA level negotiation theory, lifelong experience, cross-cultural negotiation and practice of deeper wisdom in a series of clearly explained and immensely pragmatic examples. The Transformative Negotiator stresses the brain/body connection, our interdependence as human beings, as well as meditation techniques that lead to successful outcomes. It is a book you want to have handy in the midst of any negotiation from teenage kids to members of the board.”
—Miko Matsumura, Speaker, Silicon Valley Startup Advisor, Technology Evangelist

“A concise and pleasurable read, The Transformative Negotiator takes the well-known basic tenets of negotiation and goes beyond to showcase the importance of connection in successful negotiations. Drawing on historical examples and her personal experience, Huff creates a book that, along with a sprinkling of realistic exercises throughout, will push your awareness of self and your ability to negotiate successfully to the next level.”
—Michael B. Horn, author, Blended: Using Disruptive Innovation to Improve Schools, Co-Founder and Executive Director, Education, Clayton Christensen Institute, named one of the 100 most important people in the advancement of the use of technology in education by Tech & Learning magazine

From the Publisher