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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM and More


Create the Sex Life of Your Dreams

We all have them: fantasy scenarios and big turn-ons that come from our deepest desires. Sharing these secrets with your lover can lead to the best sex of your life and send your pleasure quotient skyrocketing. Superstar sex educator Violet Blue invites you to join the fun and make your hottest sexual fantasies come true. Whether you’re looking for a playbook of ideas or ...

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM and More

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Create the Sex Life of Your Dreams

We all have them: fantasy scenarios and big turn-ons that come from our deepest desires. Sharing these secrets with your lover can lead to the best sex of your life and send your pleasure quotient skyrocketing. Superstar sex educator Violet Blue invites you to join the fun and make your hottest sexual fantasies come true. Whether you’re looking for a playbook of ideas or expert advice for an imaginative sex life, this treasury of erotic possibilities will tell you exactly how to:

  • Play the best sex games for lovers
  • Strip, lap dance and talk dirty (without feeling silly)
  • Discover popular fantasies and fetishes—and learn about suggestions for props, toys and costumes
  • Dive into a threesome (and forego the jealousy)
  • Decide if swinging and sex parties are for you
  • Create thrilling S/M scenarios
  • Flaunt it with tips on exhibitionism
  • Shoot your own porn and erotic photos

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Violet Blue’s The Ultimate Guide To Sexual Fantasy is an encyclopedia of sexual fantasies—both common and obscure. Use it to prime your erotic imagination or to discover fantasies you never knew you had!"
—Pleasure Mechanics

"FINALLY we are given permission and allowed to explore our sexual selves through fantasy in a way that makes us comfortable enough to include our partners and open up the lines of communication. And that is why I love this book."
—Rose Caraway, editor of The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy is your ticket to a host of new and rejuvenated sexual rides. From spiritless spouses, to salacious singles, Violet Blue’s book has a fantasy for everyone. Why not treat yourself, and others?"
—Three Letter Blog

"Violet Blue speaks "how-to" like no one else in the business. She has a way of engaging readers from the very first sentence. Her calm words soothe any worries you may have. She writes without judgment, with compassion, with wit. You find yourself breathlessly devouring every passage."
—Alison Tyler, author of Never Say Never and Never Have the Same Sex Twice

"I recommend this book to anyone looking to bring up some fantasies with their partner, anyone trying to wrap their head around fantasies their partner has already brought up, anyone looking to spice things up a bit (or a lot). Even if your sex life is completely satisfying, this is a fantastic book. You never know what else you might throw in your already-gratifying sex life. Pick this book up. Trust me."
—Live and Let Love

"After reading The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy, I’m confident that you’ll feel like the world is your sexual oyster, ripe and ready for you to devour it! I recommend it to anyone who wants to strengthen their sex life–Violet Blue makes learning about all of the possibilities for fantasy fueled sex accessible and exciting."
—Penny's Dirty Thoughts

"Violet is a charming and very well-informed force to be reckoned with when it comes to all things sex."

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy is the most expansive guide I’ve ever read. More than a book with tips and ideas to explore in the bedroom, this book is a road map to all sorts of sexual pleasures. Violet Blue draws from her vast knowledge of all things erotic and kinky to bring together this all inclusive guide."
—Kink Etc.

"When you pick up and love The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy, you're going to get great suggestions and advice, sexy stories and amazing resources!"
—Sex in Words

"It is fantastic to see a diverse spectrum of options depicted as sexy possibilities, suitable for anyone with the inclination to pursue them. Violet Blue makes everything from phone sex to visiting a pro domme to a wet and messy fetish feel approachable."
—Naked All the Time

"Whether you'd call your sex life vanilla or if you already have some kinky tricks up your sleeve, Violet Blue has tips and advice on how to make your fantastical sex the absolute best that it can be."
—Bitches n Prose

"As an educator, I wish more books like this were available. It gives readers the chance to really feel empowered to take hold of their sexuality and explore all of it’s possibilities without judgement or fear—and to be able to do so gracefully, consciously, and safely."
—Secret Pleasures

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy lays it all out on the table, from getting started to helping you figure out how to communicate your fantasies to a partner to carrying out elaborate fantastic scenes."
—Peep's Scoop

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue is one of the best books out there for those who are looking to learn and explore more about sexual fantasies."
—Nymphomaniac Ness

"The ultimate guide to getting your sexy on."
—The Vodka Press

"If you’re curious about exploring more of your fantasies, or if you’ve been wondering how to experience a particularly hot fantasy you’ve been longing to try, you might want to take a look at Violet Blue’s The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy."
—The Ladygarden Project

"I was blown away by all the ideas in this book."
—Hedo Vibes

"In this new volume we learn how to make sexual fantasies come true—ideas for an imaginative sex life."
—Reviews by Amos Lassen

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781627780414
  • Publisher: Cleis Press
  • Publication date: 6/17/2014
  • Edition description: Second Edition
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 675,980
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Violet Blue is the bestselling author of numerous sex guides and a wildly popular erotica editor. She has appeared in dozens of publications and on many radio and TV programs, including Forbes, O: The Oprah Magazine, and The Wall Street Journal. A trained sex educator who lectures students at San Francisco State University and U.C. Berkeley, she lives in San Francisco.

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Read an Excerpt

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to a sex party? Thought about a threesome? Imagined tying up your lover for an evening of erotic power—or submission? Perhaps you’ve always wanted to pretend you were schoolgirl, or a doctor. Or in your own private moments, perhaps you dream of being seduced by a rock star. Or your partner has confessed to a fantasy of being a sexy firefighter saving pretty girls from danger. Have you ever thought about doing the most forbidden sex act you could think of with that new secretary, in the office, after hours?

Think of sexual fantasy as the cornerstone of your individual sexual expression. An erotic fantasy is any thought, idea, image, or scenario that interests you sexually. It doesn’t necessarily have to turn you on, or by contrast it can be the one thing that gets your blood boiling.

If you think you don’t fantasize, think again. Fantasies emerge from your erotic imagination in countless different forms, from fragmented sexual snippets to incredibly detailed narratives. Imagining romance, dreaming of someone you find attractive, masturbating to stories of taboo or even impossible sex, and vividly conjuring scenarios or sexual couplings you hope to make real in the near future are all ways we experience sexual fantasy.

Why do people like to fantasize about sex so much? Ever tried an aphrodisiac that worked? Not many people have. Even the legendary “Spanish Fly” is a myth—but sexual fantasies truly are Mother Nature’s 100 percent natural, guaranteed aphrodisiac.

Fantasy can make masturbation intense and focused. You can set aside an hour just for your own pleasure, and include lubricant, a reliable toy such as a vibrator, and a fantasy—conjured by your own imagination, or taken from pictures in a book or magazine, or an adult movie.

Fantasy helps us to feel sexually self-reliant. Masturbating to a reliable fantasy and enjoying how good you can make yourself feel is one of the most empowering things you can do.

Try casting yourself in the starring role of your favorite X-rated film, whether in your head while masturbating, while watching the action onscreen, or in real life, with a lover.

Or get out of a sexual rut, no matter if you’re single or in a couple, by finding new fantasies to explore. For ideas, read erotica and sex-tip books such as this one, explore the wide world of porn or romance movies, or visit Internet chat rooms as a voyeur.

You can “try on” sexual activities in fantasy. Think of it as an imaginary dress rehearsal. What would it be like to fellate your well-endowed new boyfriend or spank your new girlfriend’s ample bottom?

You can go to extremes without real-life risks; in fact, you can vividly imagine any far-out sexual scenario that turns you on, without risking a thing. You can role-play scenarios that would be dangerous or taboo in real life, such as sex with a stranger, with many strangers, kidnapping, age play, forced sex, and more.

Spice up your shared sex life and reach deeper levels of intimacy with your partner by sharing tried-and-true fantasies and discovering new ones. You can build up to trying out your favorite fantasies in real life.

With fantasy, you can enjoy sexual activities and scenarios you’re not experiencing on your own or in your relationship. Sometimes we want something our partners don’t. Fantasy portrayals, watching what you want in porn, and well-planned masturbation sessions can get you what you want without upsetting your relationship.

Sometimes when we tell others what we like to fantasize about, our scenarios become others’ fantasies as well. And when we brag to friends about real-life exploits, we never know which stories, innocently told over morning coffee, will become that evening’s erotic fodder—or the script for your best friend’s weekend tryst. We can make our fantasies real, if we choose—or in some cases, if we dare. You’ll read more on this topic throughout the book.

Fantasies are your own private, personal sex toys. They send a direct current buzzing from your brain down to your groin. The right sexual fantasy, running in your head like your own private movie, can turn you on like a switch. When you know what works for you, your own vivid imagination can bring you to dizzying heights of arousal—and take you over the orgasmic edge.

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Table of Contents

Introduction: The Mirror of Desire

Chapter 1: Choose Your Own Adventure
Fantasy and Fetish
Popular Fantasy Themes
When Fantasies Make You Feel Bad
Fantasy Research
The Perfect Match

Chapter 2: Fantasies for One
Masturbation: Just Do It
Hot Masturbation Sessions: Fantasies, Sex Toys, and More
What Not to Stick in Your Butt
Change Habits and Learn New Tricks
A Tool for Men: The Squeeze Technique
A Tool for Women: Your Vibrator
The Golden Rules of Anal Masturbation
Three in One

Chapter 3: Fantasies for Two
Building a Fantasy Scenario
In Your Head, or in Reality?
How to Ask for a Spanking
Get a Little Closer
Getting to know your Lover's Fantasies
Sexy Surprises
The Sex Buffet
Talking to Your Partner
When Your Lover is Reluctant
Ready to Play?
Not Tonight

Chapter 4: Role Play
Erotic Adult Theatre for Two
Waiting in the Wings
Erotic Acting
Plan It, Janet
Classic Roles
Where to Shop
Gender Play
Age Play

Chapter 5: Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes
Three, Four, and More
Adding Someone New
First Impressions
Get Together, and Get Off
Sex Positions
Hooking Up: Cruising and Advertising
California Dreaming

Chapter 6: Weaving a Spell: Striptease, Hot Talk, and Erotic Massage
How To Strip
Lap Dance 101
The Art of Dirty Talk
Giving an Erotic Massage

Chapter 7: Strip Clubs, Phone Sex, and Call Girls- for Two
Strip Clubs and Lap Dances
How Will They Treat Me at the Strip Club?
Peep Booths
Arcades Don't Have Video Games
Phone Sex
Call Girls and Prostitutes

Chapter 8: Public Sex
What's on the Menu
Where to Do It
Role-Playing in Public
Alternative Sex Parties
The View from Paris

Chapter 9: Fetishes
A Fetishist Looks Just Like You
How to Have Sex with a Fetishist
Classic Fetishes
Networking with Other Fetishists and Their Partners
Other People's Panties

Chapter 10: Erotic Dominance and Submission: S/M Fantasies
Sweet Submission
A Sampling of Submissive Roles
When Being in Charge Turns on You
A Sampling of Dominant Roles
Captivity and Erotic Torment
Always Have a Safe Word
Teasing your Captive
Pleasurable Pain and Punishment
Public S/M Clubs
Organizations and Private Clubs
Seeing a Professional Dominatrix

Chapter 11: Sex Games
Ten Erotic Escapades
Messy Fun
Aphrodisiac Seductions
So, You Want to Be in Pictures?

Chapter 12: Safer Sex
The Gear
Safer Sex Chart

Chapter 13: Resources
Resources for Sex Toys, Books, and Videos: U.S., Canada, International

Chapter 14: References

About the Author

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