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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM and More

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Have Incredible Sex with Role Play, Sex Games, Erotic Massage, BDSM and More

by Violet Blue, Carol Queen (Foreword by)

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Join the legions of couples and singles who are making their hottest sexual fantasies come true. Whether you're looking for an endless supply of fantasy ideas or expert advice for a playful, imaginative sex life that turns you both on, this information-packed book has everything you need to know. The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy helps readers learn their


Join the legions of couples and singles who are making their hottest sexual fantasies come true. Whether you're looking for an endless supply of fantasy ideas or expert advice for a playful, imaginative sex life that turns you both on, this information-packed book has everything you need to know. The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy helps readers learn their lover's secret fantasies; engage in hot, dramatic role-play without feeling silly; have a threesome-without jealousy; explore sex parties and swinging; have sex in public; create thrilling S&M scenarios; make their own porn and erotic photos; and strip, give lap dances, and talk dirty. Also included are comprehensive lists of the most popular fantasies and fetishes complete with suggestions for props, toys, and costumes (and where to buy them), racy sex games for lovers, expert help for deciding just how far to take your fantasies, and hot new stories by best-selling erotica author Alison Tyler.

• Learn your lover's secret fantasies
• Role-play: hot, dramatic sex without feeling silly
• Comprehensive lists of the most popular fantasies and fetishes-complete with suggestions for props, toys, and costumes (and where to buy them)
• Expert help for deciding just how far to take your fantasies

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Violet Blue’s The Ultimate Guide To Sexual Fantasy is an encyclopedia of sexual fantasies—both common and obscure. Use it to prime your erotic imagination or to discover fantasies you never knew you had!"
—Pleasure Mechanics

"FINALLY we are given permission and allowed to explore our sexual selves through fantasy in a way that makes us comfortable enough to include our partners and open up the lines of communication. And that is why I love this book."
—Rose Caraway, editor of The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy is your ticket to a host of new and rejuvenated sexual rides. From spiritless spouses, to salacious singles, Violet Blue’s book has a fantasy for everyone. Why not treat yourself, and others?"
—Three Letter Blog

"Violet Blue speaks "how-to" like no one else in the business. She has a way of engaging readers from the very first sentence. Her calm words soothe any worries you may have. She writes without judgment, with compassion, with wit. You find yourself breathlessly devouring every passage."
—Alison Tyler, author of Never Say Never and Never Have the Same Sex Twice

"I recommend this book to anyone looking to bring up some fantasies with their partner, anyone trying to wrap their head around fantasies their partner has already brought up, anyone looking to spice things up a bit (or a lot). Even if your sex life is completely satisfying, this is a fantastic book. You never know what else you might throw in your already-gratifying sex life. Pick this book up. Trust me."
—Live and Let Love

"After reading The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy, I’m confident that you’ll feel like the world is your sexual oyster, ripe and ready for you to devour it! I recommend it to anyone who wants to strengthen their sex life–Violet Blue makes learning about all of the possibilities for fantasy fueled sex accessible and exciting."
—Penny's Dirty Thoughts

"Violet is a charming and very well-informed force to be reckoned with when it comes to all things sex."

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy is the most expansive guide I’ve ever read. More than a book with tips and ideas to explore in the bedroom, this book is a road map to all sorts of sexual pleasures. Violet Blue draws from her vast knowledge of all things erotic and kinky to bring together this all inclusive guide."
—Kink Etc.

"When you pick up and love The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy, you're going to get great suggestions and advice, sexy stories and amazing resources!"
—Sex in Words

"It is fantastic to see a diverse spectrum of options depicted as sexy possibilities, suitable for anyone with the inclination to pursue them. Violet Blue makes everything from phone sex to visiting a pro domme to a wet and messy fetish feel approachable."
—Naked All the Time

"Whether you'd call your sex life vanilla or if you already have some kinky tricks up your sleeve, Violet Blue has tips and advice on how to make your fantastical sex the absolute best that it can be."
—Bitches n Prose

"As an educator, I wish more books like this were available. It gives readers the chance to really feel empowered to take hold of their sexuality and explore all of it’s possibilities without judgement or fear—and to be able to do so gracefully, consciously, and safely."
—Secret Pleasures

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy lays it all out on the table, from getting started to helping you figure out how to communicate your fantasies to a partner to carrying out elaborate fantastic scenes."
—Peep's Scoop

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue is one of the best books out there for those who are looking to learn and explore more about sexual fantasies."
—Nymphomaniac Ness

"The ultimate guide to getting your sexy on."
—The Vodka Press

"If you’re curious about exploring more of your fantasies, or if you’ve been wondering how to experience a particularly hot fantasy you’ve been longing to try, you might want to take a look at Violet Blue’s The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy."
—The Ladygarden Project

"I was blown away by all the ideas in this book."
—Hedo Vibes

"In this new volume we learn how to make sexual fantasies come true—ideas for an imaginative sex life."
—Reviews by Amos Lassen

Product Details

Cleis Press
Publication date:
Edition description:
Second Edition
Sales rank:
Product dimensions:
6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

Read an Excerpt

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to a sex party? Thought about a threesome? Imagined tying up your lover for an evening of erotic power—or submission? Perhaps you’ve always wanted to pretend you were schoolgirl, or a doctor. Or in your own private moments, perhaps you dream of being seduced by a rock star. Or your partner has confessed to a fantasy of being a sexy firefighter saving pretty girls from danger. Have you ever thought about doing the most forbidden sex act you could think of with that new secretary, in the office, after hours?

Think of sexual fantasy as the cornerstone of your individual sexual expression. An erotic fantasy is any thought, idea, image, or scenario that interests you sexually. It doesn’t necessarily have to turn you on, or by contrast it can be the one thing that gets your blood boiling.

If you think you don’t fantasize, think again. Fantasies emerge from your erotic imagination in countless different forms, from fragmented sexual snippets to incredibly detailed narratives. Imagining romance, dreaming of someone you find attractive, masturbating to stories of taboo or even impossible sex, and vividly conjuring scenarios or sexual couplings you hope to make real in the near future are all ways we experience sexual fantasy.

Why do people like to fantasize about sex so much? Ever tried an aphrodisiac that worked? Not many people have. Even the legendary “Spanish Fly” is a myth—but sexual fantasies truly are Mother Nature’s 100 percent natural, guaranteed aphrodisiac.

Fantasy can make masturbation intense and focused. You can set aside an hour just for your own pleasure, and include lubricant, a reliable toy such as a vibrator, and a fantasy—conjured by your own imagination, or taken from pictures in a book or magazine, or an adult movie.

Fantasy helps us to feel sexually self-reliant. Masturbating to a reliable fantasy and enjoying how good you can make yourself feel is one of the most empowering things you can do.

Try casting yourself in the starring role of your favorite X-rated film, whether in your head while masturbating, while watching the action onscreen, or in real life, with a lover.

Or get out of a sexual rut, no matter if you’re single or in a couple, by finding new fantasies to explore. For ideas, read erotica and sex-tip books such as this one, explore the wide world of porn or romance movies, or visit Internet chat rooms as a voyeur.

You can “try on” sexual activities in fantasy. Think of it as an imaginary dress rehearsal. What would it be like to fellate your well-endowed new boyfriend or spank your new girlfriend’s ample bottom?

You can go to extremes without real-life risks; in fact, you can vividly imagine any far-out sexual scenario that turns you on, without risking a thing. You can role-play scenarios that would be dangerous or taboo in real life, such as sex with a stranger, with many strangers, kidnapping, age play, forced sex, and more.

Spice up your shared sex life and reach deeper levels of intimacy with your partner by sharing tried-and-true fantasies and discovering new ones. You can build up to trying out your favorite fantasies in real life.

With fantasy, you can enjoy sexual activities and scenarios you’re not experiencing on your own or in your relationship. Sometimes we want something our partners don’t. Fantasy portrayals, watching what you want in porn, and well-planned masturbation sessions can get you what you want without upsetting your relationship.

Sometimes when we tell others what we like to fantasize about, our scenarios become others’ fantasies as well. And when we brag to friends about real-life exploits, we never know which stories, innocently told over morning coffee, will become that evening’s erotic fodder—or the script for your best friend’s weekend tryst. We can make our fantasies real, if we choose—or in some cases, if we dare. You’ll read more on this topic throughout the book.

Fantasies are your own private, personal sex toys. They send a direct current buzzing from your brain down to your groin. The right sexual fantasy, running in your head like your own private movie, can turn you on like a switch. When you know what works for you, your own vivid imagination can bring you to dizzying heights of arousal—and take you over the orgasmic edge.

Meet the Author

Violet Blue is the bestselling author of numerous sex guides and a wildly popular erotica editor. She has appeared in dozens of publications and on many radio and TV programs, including Forbes, O: The Oprah Magazine, and The Wall Street Journal. A trained sex educator who lectures students at San Francisco State University and U.C. Berkeley, she lives in San Francisco.

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