The Washingtonienne: A Novel

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Overview

The blog that scandalized Washington, D.C., is not a sharp steamy, utterly unrepentant novel set against the backdrop of the nations' capital....

"Just between us girls, Washington is an easy place to get laid. It's a simple matter of economics: supply and demand. Washington lacks those industries that attract the Beautiful People, such as entertainment and fashion. Instead it has the government, also know as 'Hollywood for the Ugly.' Without the model-actress population to compete with, my stock shot up when I moved to DC."

When Jacqueline Turner's fiancée gives her two days to move out of his apartment, she has no choice but to leave New York City and ...

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Overview

The blog that scandalized Washington, D.C., is not a sharp steamy, utterly unrepentant novel set against the backdrop of the nations' capital....

"Just between us girls, Washington is an easy place to get laid. It's a simple matter of economics: supply and demand. Washington lacks those industries that attract the Beautiful People, such as entertainment and fashion. Instead it has the government, also know as 'Hollywood for the Ugly.' Without the model-actress population to compete with, my stock shot up when I moved to DC."

When Jacqueline Turner's fiancée gives her two days to move out of his apartment, she has no choice but to leave New York City and crash with her best friend in Washington, DC. (She can't be expected to keep herself in cute clothes while paying New York City rent, after all.) She needs a new, exciting life-not to mention real employment. Where better to get a fresh start than the nation's capital?

Alas, DC turns out to be a lot more buttoned-up and toned down than she'd hoped. It's a town where a girl has to make her own excitement-and Jacqueline Turner is just the woman for the job. From the married presidential appointee who gives her cash after each tryst, to the lascivious Georgetown lawyer who parades her around like something out of Pretty Woman, Jackie's roster of paramours grows so complicated her friends ask her to start a blog so they can keep up. But in a small town like Washington, the line between private and public blurs very easily. Just as one of her beaux takes a lead in the race for her heart, Jackie realizes this blog idea may be more than she bargained for....

Deliciously gossipy and impossible to put down, The Washingtonienne is every bit as outrageously scandalous as the real-life exploits that inspired it.

In May, 2004, 26-year-old Jessica Cutler was thrust into the public eye when the on-line diary she kept for her friends exploded into Washington's scandale du jour. Immediately fired from her job as mail girl in the office of Senator Mike DeWine (for "unacceptable use of Senate computers"), Jessica remains unemployed in Washington, D.C.

Editorial Reviews

Alexandra Jacobs
It's amusing to see Washington fixed by such a vodka-gimlet eye; we can all recognize the type of government geek who refuses to remove his security badge -- ''how canine,'' sniffs Jackie -- or posts photos of himself taken with famous politicians on a ''Me Wall.'' Since the days of Dawn Powell, airy novels by women about women seeking men, slopping cocktails, shopping, and slogging through dull jobs have been set mostly in Manhattan. The chicks that flock to the seat of the federal government are generally in search of career advancement, not Christian Louboutin-clad fun. So perhaps the Beltway bunch should be grateful for this lewd, unpretentious valentine to their city.
— The New York Times
From The Critics
"Lively, funny and agreeably in-your-face . . . [Cutler] sticks pins in a lot of deserving targets."
The Washington Post

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781401302009
  • Publisher: Hyperion
  • Publication date: 6/1/2005
  • Pages: 304

Read an Excerpt

"Jacqueline." He looked serious. "We can't go out to lunch."

I waited for further explanation.

"We have to be very discreet. I can't risk being seen with somebody like you."

I could not believe this shit: What is he afraid of? Doesn't every respectable married man keep a mistress?

"Since I can't take you out anywhere or offer you any kind of future, I would feel guilty if I didn't compensate you in some way."

Compensate? "You mean, like, money?" I asked.

"I'll give you financial assistance. I know you're an intern and you could use the money. It's only fair."

I wanted to know how much, but felt it would be tacky to ask. "That makes sense," I said instead.

He put his arms around me, but his affections felt false. He finished quickly the second time. I wondered how much five minutes of missionary was worth.

He started talking, complaining mostly. I really wanted to take a nap, but I stayed awake and feigned interest for his benefit. He went on and on about his job, his marriage, how he loathed Washington. (He's from Boston.)

"So why did you come to D.C. if you hate it so much here?" I asked him in an effort to participate in the "conversation," which was more like an hour-long monologue.

"When the president offers you a job, you don't say no," he said.

Well.

"You know the president?" I didn't know if I was more impressed with him or with myself: I'm one degree away from POTUS!

"That's how I got such a cushy job," he explained. "Not everybody gets to take these long lunches whenever they want." Fred put his suit back on, reached into his jacket, and pulled out a sealed envelope. "This is for you."

The money.

I thanked him as I tucked the envelope away in my handbag. The sight of it made me very uncomfortable. But as soon as he left, I tore it open and counted the cash. Four hundred dollars. For an hour of my time. What a country.

Customer Reviews
Average Rating 3.5
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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 6, 2006

    Genuine Stimulation

    Quick and enjoyable read ! A window further openned at the true activities of office - regardless of country. Some are discreet, and some are just plain not ! The new introduction of stimulations in ones life is of necessity - some are simple, some are dangerous. The Washingtonienne, is a wild example, Very Genuine,and very true to herself. A new age Icon for strenght and perseverence. S.P.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2006

    LOVE THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!

    This is the perfect 'airplane' book----I read it on a recent flight. I absolutely LOVE this book, and can't wait to reread it! She writes so real and raw, I love her style....I got so caught up in the story. I hope Jessica writes another one really soon, and I would also love to write to Jessica...anyone know of an address? But this book is fabulous, I couldn't put it down and wished it was longer. Bravo, Jessica!!!!!! Can't wait for another one from you :) Dana in Minnesota

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 23, 2005

    Deeper than you think

    While many are quick to dismiss this book as another tale of someone trying to cash in on a scandal, there is more to this book than tales of drug use, casual sex and social climbing. Cutler illuminates the darker side of the skewed views and priorities of America's recent post-grad twenty-somethings have been pushed into valuing in order to make it to the top. The book is a quick and easy read that you'll fly through. Take it for what it's worth and enjoy it!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 25, 2005

    fun and fast read

    As trashy and smutty as it was, I really enjoyed this book, almost as much as a Jackie Collins book ie. 'Lucky' or 'Chances'. C'mon, to have lived this life and not be too ashamed to write about it? Pretty gutsy, I think. I read it in two days...

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2005

    Might have been better as a magazine article

    I finished this book in three days. I did so out of pure spite to just finish it, finding it trashy and merely midly entertaining (if at all). I'm just glad that it wasn't my own copy.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 19, 2005

    Scandalous and Shallow

    Despite all the dirty dish of details (one government playboy wants to put M&Ms up his lover's butt and then eat them), this book is nothing more than an autobiographical novel masquerading as ficiton. Jessica, oops! I mean Jacqueline, is a self-proclaimed 'D.C. intern slut' who freely and happily engages in multiple affairs with powerful, rich men in exchange for wads of money, all while tripping on Ecstasy and vodka. Although she attempts to use 'Sex and the City-esque' details in describing her escapades, the writing is trite and unpolished; truly indicative of a first novel. The ending is especially unsatisfying and leaves the reader wondering why they bothered to suffer through endless pages of Gucci, Veuve Clicquot, and Vicodin. A fluffy beach book, but nothing more.

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  • Posted December 9, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    A fun read

    Wall St. Mike via Queens informs his fiancée Jacqueline Turner that she is to move out of his Manhattan apartment in two days having learned she lied to him to spend time with Kevin. Stunned as she thought he would keep her in designer clothing forever, Jacqueline knows her over paying Internet copywriting position would not pay the New York rent. ................... Jacqueline figures DC should be cheaper as will crashing in April¿s apartment. April also should help her take the Hill. However, Jacqueline quickly learns that DC is filled with media phobic types so if a girl wants fun she needs to start it herself. Soon she has a minion of power brokers begging her for her time. Her friends suggest she start a blog so they can follow her exploits amongst the rich and powerful who beg her for favors.................... The fun of this novelization by former Congressional staffer Jessica Cutler¿s real blog is guessing who¿s who. However, that inane gimmick is unable to make a strong biographical fictional plot yet somehow is enough to keep the voyeurs like this reviewer to keep reading. Fans of titillating exposés will enjoy THE WASHINGTONIENNE that will remind the audience of the original blog that raised family values inside the Beltway to new hypocritical heights.................. Harriet Klausner

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