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The Way of All Fish [NOOK Book]

Overview

An “absurdly amusing” (The New York Times Book Review) sequel to Martha Grimes’s bestselling novel, Foul Matter, this wicked satire of the publishing industry is “comic, caustic, and relentlessly readable” (Booklist).

Writer Cindy Sella is having trouble with her new novel. Aside from her paralyzing writer’s block, she’s faced with a lawsuit from her ex-agent, L. Bass Hess. ...
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The Way of All Fish

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Overview

An “absurdly amusing” (The New York Times Book Review) sequel to Martha Grimes’s bestselling novel, Foul Matter, this wicked satire of the publishing industry is “comic, caustic, and relentlessly readable” (Booklist).

Writer Cindy Sella is having trouble with her new novel. Aside from her paralyzing writer’s block, she’s faced with a lawsuit from her ex-agent, L. Bass Hess. Hess will stop at nothing to collect a commission from Cindy on her previous novel, which he did not represent since she had fired him long before it was published.

Hitmen Candy and Karl—first introduced in Foul Matter—are asked to “get rid” of L. Bass Hess. They join forces with a publishing mogul, a bestselling author, an out-of-work Vegas magician, an alligator wrangler, a glamorous Malaysian con lady, and Hess’s aunt in the Everglades who has undergone a wildly successful sex change, and concoct a plan to save Cindy Sella from the odious machinations of Hess by driving him (slowly, hilariously) crazy.

Grimes’s fans will delight in the return of several colorful characters from Foul Matter, including Senior Editor Clive Esterhaus, unprincipled publisher Bobby Mackenzie, and ex-mobster and author Danny Zito, currently under the witness protection program. New readers will find that these characters and their escapades shed an amusing light on the New York publishing scene. Informed and influenced by the author’s own publishing adventures, “The Way of All Fish is a goofily offbeat delight” (The Washington Post).
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Editorial Reviews

The New York Times Book Review - Marilyn Stasio
Martha Grimes has a dangerous sense of humor…The tone may be light…but Grimes's notion of farce is positively lethal.
Publishers Weekly
★ 11/18/2013
This addictive, whimsical follow-up to 2003’s Foul Matter from MWA Grand Master Grimes dives into the cesspool that is the New York publishing world. L. Bass Hess, a despicable literary agent, likes to sue his former clients, claiming, after they fire him, that they owed him a commission. Some authors have settled rather than fought, but not Cindy Sella, a kind woman with an interest in tropical fish who’s suffering from writer’s block. Meanwhile, members of a group led by “mega-bestselling author” Paul Giverney and including two hit men with their own idea of who is worth killing, a publisher, an editor, and a mysterious Malaysian woman named Lena bint Musah, decide to take Hess down. This requires a séance, an alligator, a number of tropical fish, and other esoteric items. The coup de grace alone is worth the price of admission. (Jan.)
Nelson DeMille
Martha Grimes is a very funny writer and TheWay of All Fish is a hilarious and worthy sequel to her bestselling FoulMatter. Like all great satirists, Ms. Grimes sees the world from the other side of the looking glass andinvites us to come along for a wild and wacky ride. A very entertainingand fun read.
bestselling author of Death Angel - Linda Fairstein
"Martha Grimes is back with a deliciously hilarious send-up of the book business. The Way of All Fish nails all the foul matter of publishing dead on, and is a smashingly great read as well."
Michael Korda
Few people have ever succeeded in making book publishing of all things seem funny and suspenseful, but Martha Grimes does so brilliantly in The Way of All Fish.
New York Times Book Review
Absurdly amusing.”
Booklist
This sequel to Foul Matter is a caper that casts an eye on publishing that is comic, caustic, and relentlessly readable.Yes, it's Grimes lite and probably as much fun for the author as it is for herreaders.”
BookPage
“This novel is a madcap mystery with delight.”
Library Journal
Famed for her 22 Richard Jury mysteries, 2012 Mystery Writers of America Grandmaster goes entertainingly wonky with this sequel to her best-selling Foul Matter. Hit men Candy and Karl have been asked to take out literary agent L. Bass Hess but are reluctant to do so until they learn that he is suing author Cindy Sella for a commission on her previous novel, though she'd fired him before it was published. Insider publishing stuff delivered with acidulous wit.
Kirkus Reviews
2013-12-18
Unlikely alliances form in a plot to neutralize an author's greedy former agent. After two armed thugs enter and shoot the fish aquarium in Manhattan's Clownfish Café, writer Cindy Sella, a Manhattanite from a small town in Kansas, and hit man Karl leave with souvenir clownfish they helped rescue. While Karl and his colleague Candy consider a contract to off the literary agent L. Bass Hess, Candy leafs through Publishers Weekly and Kirkus Reviews, and Karl sets up his clownfish in the converted warehouse he shares with Candy. Although Karl kills people for a living, he's happy to redecorate the apartment to provide a more appropriate environment for his fish--and to join Candy in helping Cindy extricate herself from a baseless lawsuit that Hess, her former agent, has brought against her. Mega-selling author Paul Giverney has his own reasons to rid Manhattan of Hess. To further his elaborate schemes, he calls on, among others, an abbot with a dubious religious vocation, an amiable stoner, the legendary Skunk Ape, Bass' uncle-turned-aunt, Candy, Karl and Karl's fish. As one caper follows another, from Manhattan to Sewickley, Pa., to the Everglades, Cindy loses her importance to the conspirators. Grimes (Fadeaway Girl, 2011, etc.) brings a crazy-quilt sensibility to a romp that ultimately sags a bit under the weight of its own cleverness. Despite its pallid heroine, however, this sendup of the book world, in which hit men apparently have more integrity than publishers, is great fun.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781476724003
  • Publisher: Scribner
  • Publication date: 1/7/2014
  • Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 352
  • Sales rank: 48,858
  • File size: 7 MB

Meet the Author

Martha  Grimes
Bestselling author Martha Grimes is the author of more than thirty books, including twenty-two Richard Jury mysteries. She is also the author of Double Double, a dual memoir of alcoholism written with her son. The winner of the 2012 Mystery Writers of America Grandmaster Award, Grimes lives in Bethesda, Maryland.

Biography

"No, I'm not English, but nothing quickens my imagination more than a fog-bound moor, windy heath, river mist in an old fishing village, and the names of British pubs like The Stargazey," Martha Grimes has written, and it's this quirk of hers that has made her one of the best loved modern practitioners of the venerable whodunit.

All of the titles in Grimes's bestselling Richard Jury series are taken from actual pubs, and all of them feature said pub in some fashion. "I can imagine the end of British hope and glory, but not the end of the British pub," she explains. So, too, it is hard to imagine the end of these deft, witty mysteries, begun in 1981 with The Man with a Load of Mischief, featuring a lugubrious Scotland Yard superintendent (Jury) and his art-collecting sidekick (Melrose Plant).

Grimes has a particular talent for combining heavy gloom with an unmistakable humor that's as subtle and dry as a soda cracker – a good thing, since the Jury casebook tends to be dark, twisted, and rather gruesome. But she always infuses her characters with human motivations and is careful to set up a chain of clues that ultimately discloses them. In addition, she's been known to thread in an unlikely theme here and there – NFL football, poetry references, animal rights, even hormone replacement therapy.

It's clear that Grimes likes to stretch her legs a bit, bringing Jury and his eccentric friends Stateside for a few cases and occasionally foraying beyond the series with novellas, standalones, and some interconnected literary fiction featuring teenage heroines. No doubt these changes of pace help keep the author's skills sharp and honed and ensure for her a wider and more growing readership.

Good To Know

Unlike many mystery writers, Grimes does not outline her plots ahead of time or even profess to know where they are headed when she begins writing. "I am not overly concerned with plot as such," she explains on her web site. "Obviously, if you start with a chapter such as the one above and intend the story to proceed from it, you could write yourself into a corner. I always do. In The Case Has Altered, I didn't know until I was nearly finished with it who had killed these women or why."

Grimes's father was city solicitor of Pittsburgh, and her mother owned a hotel in western Maryland. As a girl, she spent half her time in Pittsburgh and the other half at her mother's hotel in a little town called Mountain Lake Park.

Although her western Maryland-set series that began with The End of the Pier has earned its own fans, there's no denying that for most Grimes readers, it's all about Jury. If she needed a reminder of this, she got one in the loads of hate mail she received for abandoning Richard Jury to write Pier.

Grimes has taught creative writing at various colleges, including the small Maryland community school Montgomery College and the more prestigious Johns Hopkins University. Comparing the two in a Washington Post interview, the mordant Grimes noted of JHU, "Not one pompous ass in the whole program ... The pompous asses are at Montgomery College."

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    1. Hometown:
      Washington, DC and Santa Fe, NM
    1. Date of Birth:
      May 2, 1931
    2. Place of Birth:
      Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
    1. Education:
      B.A., M.A., University of Maryland
    2. Website:

Read an Excerpt

The Way of All Fish


  • They came in, hidden in coats, hats pulled over their eyes, two stubby hoods like refugees from a George Raft film, icy-eyed and tight-lipped. From under their overcoats, they swung up Uzis hanging from shoulder holsters and sprayed the room back and forth in watery arcs. There were twenty or so customers—several couples, two businessmen in pinstripes, a few solo diners who had been sitting, some now standing, some screaming, some crawling crablike beneath their tables.

Oddly, given all that cordite misting the air like cheap champagne, the customers didn’t get shot; it was the owner’s aquarium, situated between the bar and the dining area, that exploded. Big glass panels slid and slipped more like icebergs calving than glass breaking, the thirty- or forty-odd fish within pouring forth on their little tsunami of water and flopping around in the puddles on the floor. A third of them were clown fish.

All of that took four seconds.

In the next four seconds, Candy and Karl had their weapons drawn—Karl from his shoulder holster, Candy from his belt—Candy down on one knee, Karl standing. Gunfire was exchanged before the two George Rafts backed toward the door and, still firing, turned and hoofed it fast through the dark.

Candy and Karl stared at each other. “Fuck was that?” exclaimed Candy, rising from his kneeling position.

They holstered their weapons as efficiently as they’d drawn them, like the cops they were not. They checked out the customers with their usual mercurial shrewdness, labeling them for future reference (if need be): a far table, the two suits with cells now clamped to their busy ears, calling 911 or their stockbrokers; an elderly couple, she weeping, he patting her; two tables shoved together that had been surrounded by a party of nuts probably from Brooklyn or Jersey, hyenalike in their braying laughter, all still under the table; a couple of other business types with Bluetooth devices stationed over their ears, talking to each other or their Tokyo counterparts; a blond woman, or girl, sitting alone eating spaghetti and reading something, book or magazine; a dark-haired woman with a LeSportsac bag slung over the back of her chair, who’d been talking on her Droid all the while she ate; and a party of four, girls’ night out, though they’d never see girlhood again. Twenty tables, all in all, a few empty.

All of that ruin in under a minute.

The Clownfish Café was nothing special, a dark little place in a narrow street off Lexington, its cavelike look the effect of bad lighting. A few wall sconces were set in the stone walls, apparently meant to simulate a coral reef; candles, squat and fat, seeming to begrudge the room their light, were set in little iron cages with wire mesh over their tops, their flames hardly flickering, as if light were treasure they refused to give up. They might as well have been at the bottom of the sea.

Now the brightly colored fish, clown fish, tangs, angelfish of neon blue and sun-bright yellow, were drawing last breaths until the blonde who had been eating spaghetti tossed the remnants of red wine from her glass and scooped up some water and added one of the fish to the wineglass.

Seeing this, Candy grabbed up a water pitcher, dipped up what he could of water, and bullied a clown fish into the pitcher. The other customers watched, liked it, and with that camaraderie you see only in the face of life-threatening danger, were taking up their water glasses or flinging their wineglasses free of the cheap house plonk and refilling them from water pitchers sitting at the waiters’ stations. The waiters themselves ran about unhelpfully; the bartender, though, catapulted over the bar with his bar hose to slosh water around the fish. Wading through glass shards at a lot of risk to their own skin, customers and staff collected the pulsing fish and dropped them in glasses and pitchers.

It was some sight when they finished.

On every table was an array of pitchers and glasses, one or two or three, tall or short, thin or thick, and in every glass swam a fish, its color brightened from beneath by a stubby candle that seemed at last to have found a purpose in life.

Even Frankie, the owner, was transfixed. Then he announced he had called the emergency aquarium people and that they were coming with a tank.

“So who the fuck you think they were?” Karl said as he and Candy made their way along the dark pavement of Lexington Avenue.

“I’m betting Joey G-C hired those guys because he didn’t like the way we were taking our time.”

“As we made clear as angel’s piss to him, that’s the way we work. So those two spot Hess in there, or they get the tip-off he’s there and go in with fucking assault weapons thinkin’ he’s at that table the other side of the fish tank, and that’s the reason they shoot up the tank?”

“Call him,” said Candy, holding tight to his small water pitcher.

Karl pulled out his cell, tapped a number from his list of contacts, and was immediately answered, as if Joey G-C had expected a call. “Fuck’s wrong with you, Joey? You hire us, and then you send your two goons to pull off a job in the middle of a crowded restaurant? No class, no style, these guys got. Walked in with Uzis and shot the place up. And did they get the mark? No, they did not; they just messed the place up, including a big aquarium the least you can do is pay for. Yeah . . .”

Candy was elbowing him in the ribs, saying, “Tell him all the fish suffocated and died.”

“And there was all these endangered fish flopping on the floor, some of them you could say were nearly extinct, like you will be, Joey, you pull this shit on us again. Yeah. The job’ll get done when the job gets done. Good-bye.”

“We saw Hess leave through the side door. You’d think he knew they were coming.”

“Jesus, I’m tellin’ you, C., the book business is like rolling around fuckin’ Afghanistan on skateboards. You could get killed.”

“You got that right.”

They walked on, Karl clapping Candy on the shoulder, jostling the water pitcher as they walked along Lexington. “Good thinking, C. I got to hand it to you, you got everyone in the place rushing to save the fishes.”

The water was sliding down Candy’s Boss-jacketed arm. “Don’t give me the credit; it was that blond dame that did that. She was the first to ditch her wine. You see her?”

“The blonde? I guess. What’d she look like?”

Candy shrugged; a little wave of water spilled onto Lexington. “I couldn’t see her face good. She had a barrette in her hair. Funny.”

“You didn’t see her face, but you saw a hair barrette?” Karl laughed. “Crazy, man.”

They walked on.

There are those girls with golden hair whom you half notice in a crowd. You see one on the outer edges of vision, in the people flooding toward you along Lex or Park or Seventh Avenue, blond head uncovered, weaving through the dark ones, the caps and hats, your eye catching the blondness, but registering nothing else. Then you find, when she’s passed, it’s too late.

A girl you wish you’d paid attention to.

A girl you knew you should have seen head-on, not disappearing around a corner.

Such a girl was Cindy Sella.

Some of them would talk about it later and for a long time. The businessmen climbing into a cab, the girl with the LeSportsac bag, her Droid lost inside.

As if there’d been an eclipse of Apple, a sundering of Microsoft, a sirocco of swirling iPhones, BlackBerrys, Thunderbolts, Gravities, Galaxies, and all the other smartphones into the sweet hereafter; yes, as if all that had never been; nobody, nobody reached for his cell once the fish were saved and swimming. They were too taken up with watching the fish swimming, dizzy-like, in the wineglasses.

Nobody had e-mailed or texted.

Nobody had sent a tweet to Twitter.

Nobody had posted on Facebook.

Nobody had taken a picture.

They were shipwrecked on the shores of their own poor powers of description, a few of them actually getting out old diaries and writing the incident down.

Yes, they talked about that incident in the Clownfish Café the night they hadn’t gotten shot, told their friends, coworkers, pastors, waiters at their clubs, their partners, wives, husbands, and kids.

Their kids.

—Way cool. So where’re the photos?

—Remarkably, nobody took one.

—Wow. Neanderthal.

—But see, there were these neon-bright blue and orange and green and yellow fish, see, that we all scooped up and dropped in water glasses, and just imagine, imagine those colors, the water, the candlelight. Look, you can see it . . .

But the seer, seeing nothing, walked away.

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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 26, 2014

    Foul matter and this sequel are adult funny fantasy

    With the most loveable hit men in publishing and hated editors get theirs everyone is trying to get published which makes very strange fellow travelers and critics. Nice feeling as hitmen return fee to the hirer and then zap him. Told you it was a fun fantasy buska

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 3, 2014

    Realky laughed at this sequel to foul matters

    You must read both for full affect best literary hit men in n y

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2014

    Hjh

    Hhh
    Cd

    0 out of 11 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 27, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 7, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

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