The Wiley Book of Business Quotations, The

The Wiley Book of Business Quotations, The

by Henry Ehrlich

This unique collection of quotations vividly captures the realities of the contemporary business environment, featuring more than 5,000 insights, opinions, and witticism about doing business today.  See more details below


This unique collection of quotations vividly captures the realities of the contemporary business environment, featuring more than 5,000 insights, opinions, and witticism about doing business today.

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Half my advertising is wasted, and the trouble is I don't know which half.

LORD LEVERHULME, founder of the pharmaceutical firm Unilever, quoted in David Ogilvy, Confessions of an Advertising Man (Atheneum, 1963)

The question is not whether advertising works but how much it works. It is not whether advertising will achieve a sales blip, but whether it will achieve a sufficiently big blip to pay for itself and more.

WINSTON FLETCHER, chairman of the British advertising agency Delaney Fletcher Bozell, quoted in the Financial Times, May 5, 1997

We [the advertising industry] do things in much the same way as we did 50, 60, or even 70 years ago. The answers may not be wrong, but we haven't experimented to see whether they are or not.

MARTIN SORRELL, CEO of the advertising and public relations conglomerate WPP, quoted in the Financial Times, March 14, 1997

The advertising business used to be almost entirely a business of middle-aged white guys from the suburbs. Today, it's almost entirely a business of young white guys who live in both the city and the suburbs.

MARK ROBINSON, head of Spike/ DDB, movie director Spike Lee's partnership with DDB Needham, quoted in Fortune, April 14, 1997

When business is good, it pays to advertise; when business is bad, you've got to advertise.


If I were starting life over again, I am inclined to think that I would go into the advertising business in preference to almost any other. . . . The general raising of the standards of modern civilization among all groups of people during the past half century would have been impossible without the spreading of the knowledge of higher standards by means of advertising.

U. S. PRESIDENT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT, quoted in David Ogilvy, Confessions of an Advertising Man (Atheneum, 1963)

Advertising nourishes the consuming power of men. It sets up before a man the goal of a better home, better clothing, better food for himself and his family. It spurs individual exertion and greater production.

WINSTON CHURCHILL, quoted in David Ogilvy, Con-fessions of an Advertising Man (Atheneum, 1963)

Much advertising -- indeed all of the most conspicuous and costly advertising-- is neither informative nor persuasive.

JOHN KEY, director of the School of Management Studies, Oxford, quoted in the Financial Times, March 14, 1997

Nothing reflects a country and its age better than its advertising.

JEAN-MARIE DRU, chairman of the French agency BDDP, quoted in the New Yorker, April 28 and May 5, 1997

There's no way I can sell the product without selling sex. [The company's ad theme in 1985 was "A hard man is good to find."]

JERRY WILSON, founder of the exercise equipment company Soloflex, quoted in Time, October 21, 1985

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife. DAVID OGILVY, Confessions of an Advertising Man (Atheneum, 1963)

Unless your campaign has a big idea, it will pass like a ship in the night.

DAVID OGILVY, Confessions of an Advertising Man (Atheneum, 1963)

Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks.

SCOTT ADAMS, The Dilbert Principle (HarperBusiness, 1996)

All detergents clean clothes, so you have to go a little bit deeper.

JANE FITZGIBBON of the advertising agency Ogilvy & Mather, on the use of psychology to distinguish brands, quoted in Newsweek, February 13, 1989

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. NORMAN DOUGLAS (1868- 1952), British novelist and essayist

The most successful advertisements are usually outside your comfort zone.

JAMES LOWTHER of the advertising agency M& C Saatchi, quoted in Forbes, January 13, 1997

I have never met anyone so idiotic as an American ad-man. Or so smart. Or both. There is more hope and vision in American advertising than in European. In Europe we are more narrow-minded, more local, more national. I'm really inspired by America.

OLIVIERO TOSCANI of the clothing firm Benetton, quoted in the New York Times Magazine, June 8, 1997

Everything in American advertising is pretty good. It looks the same. It looks American-- overfed, oversexed, overpaid.

OLIVIERO TOSCANI of the clothing firm Benetton, quoted in the New York Times Magazine, June 8, 1997

If you have to scream louder or whatever, then so what? No one's really worrying about what it's teaching impressionable youth. Hey, I'm in the business of convincing people to buy things they don't need.

WILLIAM OBERLANDER of the advertising agency Kirshenbaum Bond & Partners, quoted in Business Week, August 11, 1997

We'll all be jockeying for position in Playboy and Pent-house.

R. J. Reynolds employee, on the new restrictions on where tobacco can be advertised, quoted in Time, June 30, 1997

It's like reaching through someone's TV screen when they're hungry and giving them popcorn.

NANCY FRIEDMAN of the clothing company Levi Strauss & Co., on advertising directly to business desktops through PointCast, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, December 13, 1996

Advertising is a craft, and it has to be learned. It's not something that consumers can do successfully.

ELLIS VERDI, president of the advertising agency DeVito/ Verdi, New York agency, on using unsolicited ideas, quoted in the New York Times, October 16, 1997

The greatest risk of all is the risk of going unnoticed. Created by the late BILL BERNBACH, cofounder of DDB, and used as screensaver at DDB Needham worldwide, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, March 11, 1996

Properly practiced creativity can make one ad do the work of 10.

Created by the late BILL BERNBACH, cofounder of DDB, and used as screensaver at DDB Needham worldwide, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, March 11, 1996

Prohibiting antipathetic advertising [for products like tobacco and alcohol] is a nice, easy, and seemingly cheap way for well-meaning politicians to earn brownie points. But the costs to society-- though they may be hidden-- are exceptionally high, and the effectiveness of such bans . . . is highly questionable.

WINSTON FLETCHER, chairman of the British advertising agency Delaney Fletcher Bozell, quoted in the Financial Times, May 26, 1997

At cocktail parties, people in the advertising business wince when asked what they do for a living.

STEPHEN FOX, The Mirror Makers: A History of American Advertising and Its Creators (William Morrow, 1984)

1.1.1 Product Placement
If you're noticing the products on the screen, you're probably not grabbed by the story. I doubt that a can of Coke ever sold because it appeared in a movie.

HAROLD VOGEL of the investment firm Merrill Lynch, quoted in New York, November 29, 1993

This is just the tip of the iceberg-- it's a fraction of the whole but it's very visible. It makes our whole staff feel good.

DAVID MURREL of the accounting and consulting firm KPMG, on the fact that the firm's logo would be appearing in movies, a form of placement common for tobacco and candy companies, quoted in the Financial Times, September 22, 1997

1.1.2 The Super Bowl
You get to talk to more people on that program than on any other program you can buy on any other day of the year.

WILLIAM D. FAUDE of the advertising agency Cramer-Krasselt, quoted in the New York Times, January 6, 1991

The game is not a typical football event that caters to male viewers. It really is the convening of American men, women, and children, who gather around the sets to participate in an American ritual.

THOMAS R. ELROD of Walt Disney Attractions, which operates Walt Disney Company's theme parks, quoted in the New York Times, January 6, 1991

A typical 30-second spot on the January 25 football game will cost a record $1.3 million, up from about $1.2 mil-lion last year and more than four times the average price of a non- Super Bowl commercial, ad-industry executives say.

Wall Street Journal, January 5, 1998 1.2 CHANGING DEMOGRAPHICS

When the death rate starts increasing, we don't have to do anything but be a recipient of the windfall.

ROBERT WALTRIP, CEO of the funeral directors Service Corporation International, November 16, 1996

Identity is absolutely worth spending money on. If I were a start-up company, I'd put everything in my business card, even if it was all I had.

DAVID HERTZ, founder and CEO of Syndesis, which makes Syndecrete, a lightweight concrete used as a decorative surface (his first business card was made out of it), quoted in Inc., January 1993

Watching the television coverage of the Los Angeles riots, Carl Jones and T. J. Walker were struck by how many of the rioters and cleanup volunteers wore red, green, black, and gold sportswear made by their apparel company Cross Colours Inc. . . . Cross Colours makes shirts, jeans, hats, and jackets emblazoned with slogans like "Stop the Violence," "Love Sees No Color," and "Education Is the Key."

VICKI CONSTAVESPI, Forbes, July 20, 1996

Lucent! You're joking! What the heck is that? What does it mean? That name is going to be used for a lot of jokes around the world.

BO HEDFUS of the Swedish telecommunications equipment manufacturer L. M. Ericsson, responding to the name given to the AT& T equipment spinoff, quoted in Fortune, April 29, 1996

When we handled the switch from General Electric to GE, we thought we'd get rid of "the meatball"-- the GE logo. But it became clear that people all over the world recognized it.

HAYES ROTH of the corporate identity firm Landor Associates, quoted in Strategy & Business, published by Booz Allen & Hamilton, 1997

Diageo [new name for the conglomerate formed from Guinness and Grand Metropolitan, which owns Burger King, Guinness, Johnny Walker scotch, and Pillsbury, among other brands]. Based on the Latin word for "day" and the Greek word for "world," Diageo captures what this business is all about-- bringing pleasure to consumers every day, around the world. The vitality of the name echoes the enjoyment which our brands give to consumers wherever they are.

Rationale for new name offered by the company, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 30, 1997

Every time I reduce the charge for our car by one dollar, I get a thousand new buyers.


There is a commodity in human experience. If it's happened to one person, it has happened to thousands of others.

Talk show host OPRAH WINFREY, quoted in Time, August 8, 1988

Commercial society regards people as bundles of appetites, a conception that turns human beings inside out, leaving nothing to be regarded as inherently private. GEORGE F. WILL, The Pursuit of Happiness and Other Sobering Thoughts (Harper & Row, 1978)

Good packaging creates companies.

ELINOR SELANE, principal of BrandEquity International, quoted in Worth, May 1995

Our research showed that almost everyone has a can or two of Campbell's soup in the cupboard. The problem was to get them to eat the soup.

DEL MACAULAY, former package design chief of Campbell's, quoted in Worth, May 1995

We overestimated how often people shave.

STEW LEONARD JR., son of legendary Connecticut supermarket owner (and convicted tax evader) on a 1985 purchase of 80,000 cans of shaving cream offered at $1.29 when they cost $2 elsewhere, quoted in New York, October 25, 1993

You can't sell successfully to the black consumer with-out me.

JOHN H. JOHNSON, publisher of Ebony, quoted in Robert Sobel and David B. Sicilia, The Entrepreneurs-- An American Adventure (Houghton Mifflin, 1986)

Tide tests as Sylvester Stallone. It doesn't beg the question. It gets your clothes clean.

Psychological researcher, quoted in Worth, May 1995

The things that people take home from the store be-come a part of their identities.

DAVID MASTEN of the market research firm Cheskin-Masten, quoted in Worth, May 1995

It's hard to get people to relate potato chips to any positive nutritional thought.

LINDA MCCASHION of the National Potato Promotion Board, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, September 5, 1996

People do not need snack foods. Our jobs as marketers is to entertain and bring happiness to people.

DAVID J. GUSTON of the snack-food firm Frito-Lay, quoted in Fortune, May 19, 1991

We sell sex. It is never going to go out of style.

BOB GUCCIONE, publisher, Penthouse, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, March 22, 1996

The last thing we wanted to do was tell the customer these are better but you'll have to pay more.

KIRSTEN HEGBERG-PURCEL of the fast-food chain Jack in the Box, on decision to swallow the extra costs of potato starch coating for extra crispness of french fries, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Octo-ber 24, 1996.

The essence of a megabrand [The Gap] is leveraging your brand into other product categories.

ADELLE B. KIRK of the consulting firm Kurt Salmon Associates, quoted in Business Week, January 27, 1997

I'm not as concerned about communicating a squeaky-clean image for milk as making milk cool and contemporary.

KURT GRAETZER of the National Fluid Milk Processor Promotion Board, on 1990 ad campaign featuring milk mustaches on celebrities

We found out that not having milk or rice in Hispanic households is not funny; running out of milk means you failed your family.

JEFF MANNING of the California Milk Processor Board (their "Got Milk?" campaign failed in the His-panic market because the slogan roughly translates as "Are You Lactating?"), quoted in the Wall Street Journal, March 6, 1996

I look in my closet, and if I need it, I design it. If it works for me, it works for the customer.

DONNA KARAN, fashion designer, quoted in Fortune, Autumn/ Winter 1993 special issue

There are kinds of things that just don't have any good explanation. I suppose you could say that if it had been a really nice animal, something sympathetic, then may-be nothing would have happened. Suppose I had picked a rooster. Well, that's French, but it doesn't have the same impact.

REN+ LACOSTE, in 1973 interview, on choice of alligator as trademark for his shirts, quoted in his obituary, the New York Times, October 14, 1996

This Week's Sign That the Apocalypse Is Upon Us. Arby's Beef-of-the-Game advertising spot on Pittsburgh Penguins telecasts features a replay of the most action-packed fight during that evening's game.

Sports Illustrated, October 28, 1996

I'm training kids to fool their friends and neighbors. Money is made from customer inattention, not indifference.

Movie theater manager, on practice of offering extra toppings to popcorn buyers without telling them that each topping costs more, quoted by Ellen Cohen, Premiere, cited in Forbes, June 22, 1992

Huge numbers of baby boomers have sophisticated tastes. They want less of the cheap fattening foods at places like McDonald's. As soon as their kids are old enough, they go elsewhere.

CHERYL RUSSELL, demographer and editor of the newsletter Boomer Report, quoted in Fortune, Novem-ber 4, 1996

The Arch Deluxe burger tastes like (ouch!) a Burger King Whopper only with more "glop."

Consensus of informal marketing survey taken by Fortune, November 4, 1996

No one makes bad cars anymore, so you must sell cars on the emotions and the lifestyles they represent.

Marketing director of the automobile company Volkswagen, on sponsoring a European tour of the rock group Genesis, quoted in the Economist, October 17, 1992

We don't know how to sell products based on performance. Everything we sell, we sell on image.

The late ROBERTO GOIZUETA, CEO of the beverage firm Coca-Cola, on the failure of New Coke, which had been developed after blind taste tests showed that most people liked Pepsi better than Coke, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, February 3, 1997

A sweet, brown, fizzy beverage that at once represents the best and worst of American business enterprise . . . Coca-Cola is one of the world's truly nonessential products brilliantly marketed.

Anonymous commentator, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, February 3, 1997

I'm sorry, we're not in the rainbow colors.

Regional dealer for Coke, after being asked by Ray Kroc to sell him orange soda and root beer as well as Coke, quoted in David Halberstam, The Fifties (Villard, 1993)

The world is first a cola world, then an orange world, then a lemon-lime world.

The late ROBERTO GOIZUETA, CEO of Coca-Cola, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, February 3, 1997

Ego is a treacherous and debilitating force. Nowhere is that more true than in marketing and product design.

ARNOLD HIATT, then-chairman of the shoe company Stride-Rite, interviewed in Harvard Business Review, March-April 1992

In the past, if we were trying to sell sushi, we would market it as cold, dead fish.

BOJANA FAZARINC of the computer firm Hewlett-Packard, quoted in Fortune, March 4, 1996

Will the introduction by Carolina Herrera of 212, a fragrance named for Manhattan's [telephone] area code, inspire other perfume makers to bring out brands like 516, evocative of the scent of new money wafting through the Hamptons, in Long Island, or Brooklyn's 718, blended with essences of Lundy's chowder, Vassilaros coffee, Junior's cheesecake, Old London Melba toast, and Nathan's frankfurters?

STUART ELLIOTT, New York Times, September 2, 1997

For all the money we spend on marketing, we know very little about our customers.

ROBERT THOMAS, president of the automobile firm Nissan Motor Corporation USA, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, December 9, 1996

I watch where the cosmetics industry is going and then walk in the opposite direction.

ANITA RODDICK, founder of the cosmetic firm The Body Shop, quoted in Harvard Business Review, July-August 1996

Black people know more about white consumers than white people understand about black consumers.

THOMAS BURRELL, CEO of the black-owned advertising agency Burrell Communications, quoted in Fortune, April 14, 1997

1.4.1 Alcohol
The object [of a nineteenth-century marketing campaign] is to make the whole population use cold drinks instead of warm or tepid, and it will be effected in the course of three years. A single conspicuous barkeeper . . . selling steadily his liquors all cold without an increase in price [would] render it absolutely necessary that the others come into it or lose their customers-- they are compelled to do what they could in no other way be induced to undertake.

RICHARD O. CUMMINGS, The American Ice Harvests: A Historical Study in Technology, 1800- 1849 (Berkeley, 1949)

The brandies are looking at A & E Networks, Crown Royal, and the mass brown goods are looking at ESPN, all the scotches are looking at golf on broadcast and cable. And premium white spirits, gins and vodkas, will look at tennis and the Academy Awards.

Media executive at agency with a good deal of liquor business, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, June 12, 1996

We've come to the conclusion that people drink to get buzzed.

A brewer's director of brand management, on mediocre sales of nonalcoholic beer, cited in Philip Van Munching, Beer Blast: The Inside Story of the Brewing Industry's Bizarre Battles for Your Money (Times Books, 1997)

Beer has been the beverage of male bonding for thousands of years.

STEVE BROWN of the advertising agency J. Walter Thompson, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Febru-ary 11, 1985

Number of members in the Frank Bartles and Ed Jaymes fan club in 1987 (Bartles and Jaymes were fictional TV characters created to promote a new brand of wine coolers), cited in Business Week, January 12, 1987

For over 70 years, Soviet policies included no advertising or limited availability of alcohol [while managing to maintain one of the highest rates of alcoholism in the world].

WARREN DUNN, CEO of Miller Brewing, in a speech July 15, 1993

We are the tenth largest brewer in the United States. Do you know what that means? We have one two-hundredth of the beer market. That's minuscule. Twelve years of busting my ass, and we've gone from nothing to infinitesimal. If I'm lucky, I'll go another 12 years and get to be small.

JIM KOCH, founder and CEO of the Boston Beer Company, maker of Samuel Adams beer, in a speech quoted in Inc., September 1996

There's a strong index of beer drinkers with hunters and people that fish and enjoy the great outdoors.

AUGUST BUSCH IV of the beer company Anheuser Busch, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Novem-ber 19, 1996

The only thing better than cold beer is cheap beer.

DAVID BATULA, 29-year-old landscaper who bought a case of Miller Lite in Texas during price war with Bud, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, December 5, 1996

The perfect toast to the beginning of a new chapter in Hong Kong history.

Slogan for Red Dawn Beer, which was colored red, brewed in Hong Kong by a subsidiary of American Craft Brewing International, and sold all 10,000 cases in spite of apprehension about China's takeover, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, April 30, 1997

You know you're a redneck if: You think a cow says moo, a sheep says baa, and a frog says Bud.

Plaque for sale at Houston gift shop, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, December 5, 1997

The students aren't upset about the suites themselves, but they resent the fact that they'll be the only places in the new building where alcohol will be permitted.

KAREN KERSTING of the student paper The Daily Cardinal, on the inclusion of 36 luxury suites, to be leased for $35,000 per year, in the University of Wisconsin's new basketball and hockey arena, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, August 22, 1997

Gallo was slow to get into premium wine, but that's their style. They watch, they wait, then they jump in and take over. They have no stockholders and they put everything back in the business. They take advantage of their massive economies of scale, and they are very, very aggressive.

JON FREDRICKSEN of the wine consulting firm Gomberg Fredriksen, quoted in the New York Times, September 4, 1997

The gay affinity [for Black Sheep beer, brewed by a gay-owned company] will make a difference only if people like the product and think it's equal to what they've been drinking. They won't support a product just be-cause the company that makes it is gay-owned.

BILL SWETZ of Fritz, a Boston gay bar, quoted in Inc., March 1996

1.4.2 Automobiles
[I] f you really want to understand our customers, you have to understand the phrase, "If I were going to be a car, I'd be a Porsche."

PETER SCHUTZ, chief executive of Porsche AG, quoted in Harvard Business Review, March- April, 1986

This is an emotional business. If you're not emotional there's something wrong with you.

LEW VERALDI, "Father of the Ford Taurus," quoted in Mary Walton, Car (Norton, 1997)

Automobiles are not a mass market in the traditional sense. We have to sell millions of vehicles one at a time.

PHILIP GUARESCO of General Motors, quoted in For-tune, April 4, 1994

The sports utility vehicle is at one end of the spectrum. It comes across as a rugged, tough vehicle that gives you freedom. The mini-van is at the other end of the spectrum, which would be imprisonment-- with kids and family and responsibility.

CHRISTOPHER W. CEDERGREN of the research group Nextrend, quoted in the New York Times, May 12, 1997

Every American thinks he's alone on the continent.

PHILIP SLATER, The Pursuit of Loneliness: American Culture at the Breaking Point (Beacon Press, 1976)

The Ford Edsel, that legendary 1950s flop, was based on accurate analysis of changing consumer tastes. It was just a crummy car.

PETER MARTIN, Financial Times, May 15, 1997

1.4.3 Brands
[C] onsumers are right to believe that branded products are of good quality, not because the manufacturer says they are-- mostly they do not-- but because there is little point in branding products that are not.

JOHN KEY, British director of the School of Management Studies, Oxford, quoted in the Financial Times, March 14, 1997

I'm a brand.
MARTHA STEWART, quoted in People, October 1995

The third part is the irreplaceable part. If I get hit by a truck, we just won't have that. We get business that we wouldn't get if I were an inanimate object. Mr. Reuters is dead. Mr. Dow is dead. We don't have 'em anymore.

MICHAEL BLOOMBERG, CEO of the financial news firm Bloomberg, referring to the third of what he considers to be his three jobs-- CEO, risk taker, and living brand, quoted in the Financial Times Weekend, May 24- 25, 1997

Simon [Fuller, manager of the Spice Girls] is very aware the Spice Girls are a brand.

JAMES FREEDMAN of the entertainment firm Zone, quoted in Forbes, September 22, 1997

The brand is the engine that will drive the business. If we cannot use the brand, we won't be in the business.

GEORGE FARR of the financial services firm American Express, quoted in Fortune, October 30, 1995

To make a brand pervasive in the consumer's mind, you need to use all channels of communication, not just TV.

KEN ROBBINS, head of the advertising agency Lintas, quoted in the Economist, February 1, 1992

Anybody who said that brands were irrelevant in the 1980s will be singing the blues in the next millennium.

MICHAEL OVITZ, former head of the talent agency CAA and briefly president of Disney, quoted in For-tune, March 4, 1996

It continually amazes me, but when we go into a new community or a new country, when we open the first day, we time and again set new sales records, new customer records. We open up with the Golden Arches: the sales team looks great in their uniforms. It is a huge event. It is a happening.

MICHAEL QUINLAN, CEO of the fast-food chain McDonald's, quoted in Fortune, March 4, 1996

There is a limit to how many times you can zig and zag without really doing damage to the brand. We don't think it's reached that point.

KEITH REINHARD, CEO of the advertising agency DDB Needham, after recapturing the McDonald's account, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, July 30, 1997

The central element of brand stewardship . . . is recognizing that the brand is a relationship.

CATHLEEN BLACK, president of Hearst Magazines, in a speech, March 4, 1997

Sometimes a bad brand name is better than no brand name at all.

BRIAN KLENE of the computer firm Micron Electronics, quoted in Fortune, June 9, 1997

A successful brand has a personality and a conversation with consumers. But if you keep changing the voice of the person talking, it's very hard for consumers to trust a brand.

STEVE GOLDSTEIN of the clothing company Levi Strauss, quoted in Time, June 16, 1997

Brands will be the shortcut . . . with a trusted brand, the consumer can cut through the clutter.

CARL F. PASCARELLA, CEO of the credit-card firm Visa U. S. A., quoted in the New York Times, Octo-ber 21, 1997

This is a violation of the brand, and we're not doing it.

LOUIS V. GERSTNER, then head of American Express's card business, on gimmicks such as discounting, cited by Shelley Lazarus, CEO of the advertising firm Ogilvy & Mather, quoted in Fortune, April 14, 1997

Once upon a time, it was okay to make good shows and put them on the air. You can't do that anymore. You have to have a strategy of who you want to be as a network.

WARREN LITTLEFIELD, president of the TV network division NBC Entertainment, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, April 2, 1997

You could sell Pepsi or Coke out of an old tub inside a dusty garage, but consumers will think your private brand cola is horrible if it's sold in a crummy store.

PROFESSOR ARUN JAIN of the University of Buffalo, quoted in Business Week, October 16, 1996

No matter how powerful a brand is, if you stop advertising, there will be a decay in equity.

BOB LEPRE of the New England Consulting Group, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, January 5, 1998

1.4.4 To Children
The toys that sell are those of traditional sexual values; the macho big toy or tank for boys and the cuddly warm stuff for girls.

Senior toy buyer for a big national chain, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, February 7, 1985

It's a copycat industry.
ELENA DIAZ, senior toy buyer for the retail chain Marshall Field, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, February 7, 1985

We have to be able to stop on a dime if we think there's trouble. Once you have brought the product to market, all emotion should go away. You have to face reality as quickly as possible.

ALAN HASSENFELD, president of the toy firm Hasbro, quoted in Forbes, August 24, 1987

Being a manager in the toy business is to be a poker player forever attempting to draw to an inside straight. Grown men and women wager millions in the hope that they have figured out what eight-year-olds will kill for two years down the road.

BILL SAPORIA, Fortune, October 8, 1990

Radio is a drive-time phenomenon. Mommy spends more and more time in the car. If you give kids something to listen to and they shut up, it can work.

BISHOP CHEEN of the investment firm Paul Kagan & Associates, quoted in the New York Times, May 20, 1990

There is nothing subtle about American mall retailing. JOHN LEE of Early Learning Center, quoted in the New York Times, January 5, 1992

We grew up on Sesame Street; you know "habla espa±ol" and racial harmony on the playground.

Duke University student, quoted originally in the Washington Post and cited in the Economist, January 18, 1992

It is not about attracting kids, it is about making Las Vegas not unattractive to people with kids.

Casino executive, on family friendly casino development, quoted in the Economist, December 26, 1992

[T] he reborn Captain America could end up as a financial hero if his new fight against self-doubt and neo-Nazis grabs the attention of the preteen to twenty-something audience.

DEBORAH SHAPELY on comic books, quoted in the New York Times, September 30, 1996

The insert cards are what everyone's after. When you buy a $3 pack, you are looking for the value that's hid-den inside the pack. You might get nothing or you might get a $125 card. [Children sit outside stores tearing packs open looking for them.]

KEVIN HAAKE, 16 years old, of Overland Park, Kansas, on the gimmick of putting limited-run cards inside trading-card packs, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 25, 1996

Comic strips pay the bills for syndication companies, because comic strips can be developed into other properties. Nobody ever bought a lunch box with a Bill Buckley column on it.

LEE SALEM of Universal Press Syndicate, distributor for the comic strips Doonesbury and Garfield, quoted in the New York Times, October 28, 1996

The three R's don't include retailing.
MELINDA ANDERSON of the National Education Association, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Octo-ber 28, 1996

I have more stuff than anybody.
Eight-year-old TOM BUZBEE who usually spends his $3 weekly allowance on books in the Goosebumps series by R. L. Stine, quoted in Business Week, November 4, 1996. (He also has the full line of Goose-bumps accessories such as sheets and pillowcases, a backpack, a flashlight, and T-shirts.)

It's easy to make fun of playing the cello. The message is, if I play the cello I'm not going to have any fun. If I eat a Whopper, then of course I'm going to see the light.

LAWRENCE HURST, chairman of Indiana University's string department, on Burger King commercial in which a nerd-cellist is transformed into cool electric- guitar wizard after eating a burger, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, December 16, 1996

R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. believes firmly in its long-held position that "Kids should not smoke." We stand behind our position by offering programs that supplement other youth nonsmoking efforts in schools, at retail [outlets] and in the home. These programs . . . reflect the many studies that show the key factors affecting youth smoking to be the influences of peers and family.

R. J. Reynolds company statement in November 1995, quoted in Governing, December 1, 1995

Are you kidding? We reserve that right for the poor, the young, the black, and the stupid.

One of a group of R. J. Reynolds executives in answer to model David Goerlitz's question, "Do any of you smoke?" at a Winston ad photo shoot, quoted by Bob Herbert, the New York Times, October 21, 1996

We sell an enormous amount into the market knowing full well what we are doing-- it's real negative PR, but it's a fact of this business, and if we didn't do it someone else would.

MARTY HYMAN of the tobacco distributor Bonanza Trading Associates on the industry's knowledge of "blunting" (removing tobacco from the cigars and stuffing them full of marijuana), quoted in the Wall Street Journal, April 8, 1996

We think girls are interested in music and sports and computers and careers and family relationships and friendships. You don't have to exploit them with, "If I had my hair this way or I shaved my legs this way, life would be better."

ALISON AMOROSO, editor of Teen Voices, quoted in the New York Times, November 4, 1996

For the past 10 years, we've made football look too dangerous and complicated. We've forgotten that all the flag [football] game needs is four boys or girls with a football and a couple of T-shirts.

PAUL KAYAIAN, director of the National Football League European sales, on the challenge of increasing sales of NFL clothes and other products in Europe, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, November 29, 1996

Kids' No. 1 desire is to be up on new stuff all the time and know things that their parents don't.

EDWARD VOLKWEIN of the electronic game firm Sega of America, quoted in Fortune, Autumn/ Winter 1993 special issue

Videogames will never again be a child-only business because we've finally crossed the threshold where kids who played Pong are now the parents of kids who play Sonic.

TOM KALINSKI, CEO of the electronic game firm Sega of America, quoted in Fortune, Autumn/ Winter, 1993 special issue

Kids can't buy guns, you say? Well, yes and no. . . . Schools can be a huge asset. They collect, in one place, a large number of minds and bodies that are important to your well-being. What can you do to take advantage of this opportunity? Get to know the principals and coaches at schools in your area. Get them on your side. Impress on them that you'd like to help with the education of children and teachers in the outdoor fields.

GRITS GRESHAM, shooting editor of Sports Afield, on techniques to create a new generation of shooting enthusiasts, originally published in September-October 1995 issue of SHOT Business, and cited in Harper's in 1995

We know our biggest challenge is to win over mom and dad.

ERIC ROLLMAN, executive producer of the new version of the children's TV program Captain Kangaroo, on the challenge of finding someone to re-place Bob Keeshan, the original Captain Kangaroo, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, March 5, 1997

In 1991, the Motion Picture Association of America rated only 16 percent of American movies as fit for kids under thirteen. Yet a PG film is more than three times as likely as an R-rated film to gross over a hundred mil-lion dollars at the domestic box office.

KEN AULETTA, "What Won't You Do?" New Yorker, May 17, 1993

We would never do violence such as you see in a Nintendo game. When I see kids playing Nintendo, and they're able to actually get their character on the screen to bite his opponent in the face, that's pretty sick violence.

RUPERT MURDOCH, chairman of the media conglomerate News Corporation, which owns Fox movie and television companies, in response to the question, What won't you do? quoted in Ken Auletta, "What Won't You Do?" New Yorker, May 17, 1993

Their shows [Fox Kids Network] teach kids it's okay to be violent if you're the good guy. They are corrupting American youth.

BOB KEESHAN, television's original Captain Kangaroo, who declined to be on Fox Kids' The All New Captain Kangaroo, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 1, 1997

We're not into the fluffy-bunny shows. Fluffy bunny, no.
HAIM SABAN, 50 percent shareholder with News Corporation of Fox Kids Network, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 1, 1997

Now we're watching kids, whereas we used to watch designers.

RUTH A. DAVIS of the sports clothing firm Reebok International, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, July 11, 1996

You go into a shoe store. The kid picks up the shoe and says, "Ah, man, this is nice." He turns the shoe around and around. He looks at it underneath. He looks at the side and he goes, "Ah, this is Reebok," and says, "I ain't buying this," and puts the shoe down and walks out.

E. SCOTT MORRIS of the sports clothing firm Reebok, quoted in the New Yorker, March 17, 1997

Many of these kids would rather have a Rolex than a home.

Fashion designer TOMMY HILFIGER on his customers, quoted in Forbes, April 21, 1997

Leave It to Beaver. Bucky O'Hare [rabbit in space]. The Jetsons. The Flintstones. GI Joe. Superboy. Super Mario Bros. Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (nutrition and physical fitness).

TV programs that various stations claimed were educational for compliance with 1990 Children's Television Act, cited in William Lutz, The New Doublespeak (HarperCollins, 1996)

What kind of cultural void has given rise to our society's readiness to view our children as "the most pure consumers you could have"? If 200 years of a free-market economy has led to this, I'm ready to consider socialism.

HELEN VAN RYZIN, letter to the editor in response to a recent cover article, Business Week, July 21, 1997

A toy company's stock rose 20 percent when it won the license to distribute Spice Girl action figures. A clothing store's stock fell 40 percent when it underestimated the demand for Spice Girl-style outfits.

DAVID PLOTZ, Slate, November 15, 1997

Young people want to alter their moods in a safe and acceptable way, and caffeine has covertly been recognized as a safe stimulant. With the effect of sugar, some of these drinks are hand-made for the young teen audience.

TOM PIRKO, president of the consulting firm Bevmark, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Decem-ber 17, 1996

[C] affeine is the new-millennium drug of choice.
GERALD CELENTE, publisher, Trends Journal, on the boom in soft drinks targeting children and teenagers and charged with megadoses of caffeine and "natural stimulants," quoted in the New York Times, August 22, 1997 (Some have names like XTC and Krank20, suggesting the names of illegal drugs "ecstasy" and "crank.")

Teens are looking for a turn-on that doesn't put them in jail.

TOM PIRKO, president of Bevmark LLC, a beverage consultant, quoted in the New York Times, August 22, 1997

The Spice Girls seem to be the very first group ever that have got four-, five-, and six-year-old girls and boys to own music.

ROY COOPER of Virgin Records, quoted in Forbes, September 22, 1997

Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a man. I want to drive fast cars and smoke cigarettes.

Dr. Paul Fischer's two-year-old son, whose remark prompted Fischer to study children's familiarity with Joe Camel, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Febru-ary 21, 1997

Parents give teens what teens think of as necessities-- a car, computer, video games--that we could call luxuries.

LESTER ROND, president of Rond Youth Poll, quoted in Business Week, April 11, 1994

A preschooler in Mongolia, or one in Los Angeles, or one in Sydney or wherever, all have basically the same concerns about life, about learning to behave and all that sort of stuff.

MARK BERNARD of the TV show Bananas in Pajamas, which started in Australia in 1991 and has spread to 36 countries, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, March 4, 1996

The key for any toy is the play value. If kids don't enjoy playing it, it just won't sell well.

MICHAEL GOLDSTEIN, CEO of Toys "R" Us, quoted in the New York Times, December 7, 1997

1.4.5 Clothing
Women want women's clothing, and men want women who want women's clothes.

RICHARD M. LYONS, president of the clothing chain The Gap, on decision to add more high-margin fashions and fewer jeans and T-shirts, quoted in Business Week, March 21, 1994

It's a hormone-driven business.
ALAN MILLSTEIN, retail consultant, quoted in Busi-ness Week, September 5, 1994

Today's brands are built emotionally. You have to get a message across and show what the brand ideology means to her life.

STACY LASTRINA of the shoe firm Nine West, quoted in the New York Times, October 9, 1997

Translation: You too may have three gorgeous men gaze lovingly at your sandal-clad ankles while you hang loose in a really hip North African- themed bar, if only you shop at Nine West.

JENNIFER STEINHAUER, journalist responding to Lastrina's statement (above), the New York Times, Octo-ber 9, 1997

1.4.6 Food
[Market research is a] waste of time.
JOSEPH A. UNANUE, CEO of the privately held Goya Foods, quoted in the New York Times, February 24, 1991

Crunchy foods may provide stress-relief, like hitting a racquetball after a hectic day at the office. There are theories that people who tend to be aggressive enjoy foods that require more aggression to destroy.

GAIL VANCE CIVILLE, president of the food flavor and texture firm Sensory Spectrum, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, April 2, 1997

During the early 1990s, Frito-Lay researchers found that most people preferred a chip that broke under about four pounds of pressure per square inch. And consumers demand consistency: They would complain . . . if chips were just eight one-thousandths of an inch too thick or thin.

MICHAEL J. MCCARTHY, the Wall Street Journal, April 2, 1997

1.4.7 To Generation X
Please let this come between us.
Cocktail napkin with picture of condom, to be given with drinks to couples on dates, cited in Fortune, November 16, 1992

If you doubt that coffee means business, consider: A latte and scone per day is a $1,400-a-year habit.

JENNIFER REESE, "Starbucks: Inside the Coffee Cult," Fortune, December 9, 1996

We specifically target cafTs in low-income areas. We're trying to get the have-nots on computer.

WAYNE GREGORI, founder of SF Net, which installs computers and Internet connections in cafTs, quoted in Fortune, October 18, 1993

Gen X is committed. Gen X is connected. Gen X craves success American style.

J. WALKER SMITH of the polling firm Yankelovich Partners, quoted in Time, June 9, 1997

The soul of Gen X is amorphous, intangible, exclusive. That's why I like the term X: fill in the blanks.

RICHARD THAU, 32, head of the civic group Third Millennium, quoted in Time, June 9, 1997

If you go out with the idea that you're not going to of-fend anybody, you probably won't make much of an impression.

JAMIE BARRETT of the advertising agency Wieden & Kennedy, quoted in Business Week, August 11, 1997

It's time to shut up and drink some beer. Tag line for Miller Genuine Draft, created by Wieden & Kennedy, quoted in Business Week, August 11, 1997

1.4.8 Health Care
I felt we could brand health care in 50 states, and no matter what city you were in, you could have consistent treatment.

RICHARD SCRUSHY, chairman of the health care firm Healthsource, which uses athletes such as Michael Jordan, Emmitt Smith, and Kristi Yamaguchi to at-tract the attention of consumers, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, December 4, 1996

We hope to be right up there with the Cokes and Nikes. VINCE THOMPSON, of the health care firm Health-source, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Decem-ber 4, 1996

There are wars all over the world, bombs all over the world.

JOHN HUTCHINS of Johns Hopkins Medical Center, which was cultivating foreign governments for limb replacement on wounded soldiers at $35,000 per, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 7, 1996

We are a business, and hospitals are like Switzerland-- neutral territory.

MAUREEN RYAN, who opened Johns Hopkins Medical Center's marketing office on Embassy Row in Washington, D. C., quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Octo-ber 7, 1996

They come to us with money in a suitcase.
JOSE NU-EZ of Methodist Hospital in Houston, Texas, on the hospital's marketing efforts, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 7, 1996

We call this health tourism.
BOB JIMENEZ of a travel agency in Orlando, Florida, that packages physical examinations for parents with trips to Disney World for the kids, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 7, 1996

1.4.9 Interactive TV
I spent 20 years marketing products the traditional way with big advertising bucks. The amount you need is staggering. This is a very clean way of doing business.

FRANK MONTEMURRO, manufacturers' agent on the advantages of launching products through the TV shopping network QVC, quoted in Inc., June 1994

It was the ultimate Nielsen rating. The phones light up. You don't wait till you come into the office tomorrow to find out how you did.

BRIAN ROBERTS, president of the cable TV company Comcast, quoted in Ken Auletta, "Diller Peeks into the Future," New Yorker, February 22, 1993

1.4.10 Late Celebrities (Elvis and Princess Diana)
How is a fading star transformed into a perpetual money machine? A few hints:

¦ Premature death. Essential. Aging icons don't sell (see Marlon Brando) but youngish dead ones do (see Marilyn Monroe and James Dean).
¦ Control the brand. "Elvis" and "Elvis Presley" are registered trademarks, which Elvis Presley Enterprises protects with a ferocity Disney would appreciate. . . .
¦ Tackiness sells. . . .
¦ Keep the music coming.

The Economist, August 16, 1997

[W] e went into full memorial mode.
HOWARD CHUA-EOAN, senior editor at Time, which assembled 21 pages of articles and pictures about Princess Diana's life and death in about 12 hours, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, September 1, 1997

You see yourself as a good product that sits on a shelf and sells well, and people make a lot of money out of you.

PRINCESS DIANA, answering a question about her celebrity, in a 1995 interview with the BBC, which was licensed to broadcasters in 30 countries, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, September 1, 1997

Diana souvenirs make up 80 percent of my sales.
GAUTAM PATEL, souvenir shop cashier on Buckingham Palace Road, which had its busiest day in six years the day of Diana's death, with ú1,000 ($ 1,619) in sales of items, mostly embossed with Princess Diana's image, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Sep-tember 1, 1997

Graceland effect.
Name given by DOUGLAS MCWILLIAMS, chief executive of London's Centre for Economics and Business Research, to a projected rise in economic activity from Princess Diana-- related business, cited in the Financial Times, September 8, 1997 (Graceland is the name of Elvis Presley's home in Memphis, Tennessee.)

I do believe it [Princess Diana's death] did have an effect on the business. This [September 1997] is one of the weaker months that we've seen in quite a while.

PETER SCHAEFFER of the investment firm SBC Warburg Dillon Read, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 10, 1997

First of all, I'm still devastated by Diana's death. I was one of her confidantes, along with Lucia Flecha de Lima [wife of Britain's ambassador in Washington]. Lucia and I were her two best friends in the U. S. If you look at some of the last pictures of Diana with Dodi, you'll notice the bags and belts I designed for her . . . It's my way of trying to do what I can to help, and to deal with my own sense of loss. The Princess's projects were very important to me.

LANA MARKS, who was selling "The Princess Diana Handbag," as yet unlicensed by the estate, for $6,000 at her Madison Avenue store less than three weeks after Princess Diana's death, quoted in the New York Post, September 19, 1997

1.4.11 Old Age
The elderly are still an untapped market in housing, clothing, tours, and investment advice.

ERIC PFEIFFER, director of the Suncoast Gerontology Center at the University of South Florida, quoted in Business Week, September 12, 1994

People over 60 shouldn't be allowed to design cars.
Former Chrysler executive on Lee Iacocca's intrusion into styling decisions for Chrysler cars, quoted in Fortune, November 16, 1996

When baby boomers are 70, they'll still eat pizza and listen to the [Rolling] Stones. The popular view that the old are behaving younger is really misplaced. It's rather that the young are becoming older, and those habits are sticking with them.

BILL WHITEHEAD, CEO of the advertising agency Bates North America, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, August 13, 1996

One baby boomer turns 50 every 7.6 seconds.
J. KEITH GREEN, founder of the (failed) health information video company Time Life Medical, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, February 13, 1997

I sometimes wonder whether a 30-year-old account manager really has an understanding of what boomers have gone through.

JANE GWILLIAN, author of Connecting with Baby Boomers, quoted in the Financial Times, May 26, 1997 (Apparently, baby boomer consumers are less wedded to brands, among other things, than are younger people.)

1.4.12 Sports and Athletic Equipment
How can it be the great American game if blacks can't play? Hell, we sell beer to everyone.

GUSSIE BUSCH, new owner of the St. Louis Cardinals baseball team in the early 1950s, when he learned that the team had no black players, quoted in David Halberstam, October 1964 (Villard, 1994)

We're sold on sports because sports sells beer.
STEVEN SHAFER of the beer firm Adolph Coors Company, quoted in U. S. News & World Report, August 13, 1984

Hertz had a huge investment in O. J. [Simpson] and now all that equity is gone.

JED PEARSALL, president of the market research firm Performance Research, on pitfalls of celebrity endorsement, quoted in Worth, May 1995

There was nothing to prevent Shaq[uille O'Neal, basketball player] from pulling out a Pepsi in the locker room during an on-camera interview.

Spokesperson for Coca-Cola, which withdrew as a sponsor of the Los Angeles Lakers after O'Neal signed with the team because he had a separate contract with Pepsi, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, September 4, 1997

We took our money and put it into soccer.
CHRIS BEVILACQUA of Nike after Major League baseball owners turned down combined offers of $325 million over 10 years from Nike and Reebok, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, November 15, 1996

The product baseball players wear [compared to basket-ball players] is very narrow. There is no street appeal at all.

JOHN MORGAN of the sports apparel firm Reebok, quoted in the New York Times, April 4, 1993

You have to be very naive to see all those soccer fields and not think that's a lot of shoes.

ROB PRAZMARK of the sports marketing firm International Management Group, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, October 22, 1997

Figure skating sponsorship dollars are coming out of sports like tennis and golf, which are now more vulnerable to losing backers than football, basketball, and baseball, which have a more locked-in audience.

STEPHEN DISSON, president of D& F Consulting, quoted in New York, December 13, 1993

Figure skating is athletic and suggests a wellness-- which dovetails with our product and philosophy. Suda-fed is a daytime nondrowsy cold medicine that lets you get on with life even when you've got a cold.

RICK GLEBER, of Sudafed, which sponsors Sudafed Skate America, quoted in New York, December 13, 1993

We play for more prize money in a month now on the Senior PGA tour than we played for in a year 25 years ago on the PGA tour.

Golfer GARY PLAYER, quoted in Business Week, Feb-ruary 7, 1994

Marketers who support events like these are rewarded with an immense sense of loyalty from the gay and lesbian community. I think we've laid to rest the myth of backlash.

HAROLD LEVINE of the Gay Games in New York City, whose sponsors included AT& T and Miller Brewing Company, quoted in Business Week, July 4, 1994

Companies aren't hiring these players to win games but to sell products.

DAVID FALK, agent for Michael Jordan, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, February 9, 1996

With players having endorsements before they even put on a [pro] jersey, they have to grow up extremely fast. Some go great. And some fall on their face.

ANDREA KIRBY, media coach to professional athletes, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, February 9, 1996

When Michael [Jordan] was a rookie, I would approach companies and they would say, "David, what on earth are we going to do with a black basketball player?" And I said, "Don't black people use your product?"

DAVID FALK, sports agent, quoted in the New York Times, November 17, 1996

[Estimated financial impact of Tiger Woods on golf industry-- in millions] $ 4.1 Winnings and appearance money for Woods 150.0 1 percent increase in course fees and merchandise sales 1.1 Rise in tour ticket, concession, and souvenir sales 60.0 10 percent rise in sales of Nike golf footwear and apparel 95.2 Value of Woods's endorsement deals 343.0 100 percent increase in value of TV deals for golf $653.4 million

Sports Illustrated, September 8, 1997

The difference is you don't serve as well as Arthur.
DONALD DELL, founder of the sports management firm ProServ, to an executive of AMF Head who balked at renewing Arthur Ashe's $400,000-a-year racquet endorsement because it was more than his salary, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, September 5, 1997

The real challenge for these teams is not how to expand their fan base, but how to reach them as customers . . . These aren't sports clubs. They're leisure businesses.

MAX ALEXANDER of the London sports advisory firm Oliver & Ohlbaum, quoted in the New York Times, September 10, 1997

Retailers estimate that the Nike Inc. line of shoes with Michael Jordan's name rings up more than $100 million per year.

Wall Street Journal, September 23, 1997

The Olympics are one of the marquee properties that have not only retained value but improved over the years. The American public is pretty much wedded to the concept of being glued to the Olympics.

NEAL PILSON, television industry consultant and former president of CBS Sports, quoted in the New York Times, July 28, 1997

My marketers tell me that bird-watching is the single biggest spectator sport in America.

RICHARD THALHEIMER, founder and chairman of the catalogue firm Sharper Image, quoted in the Wall Street Journal, September 30, 1996

By getting to know athletes in their early teens, I can tell if they are the types of people who would work well with Nike over the long term. Are they committed to the sport? Do they have a sense of humor? Do they have an attitude the public will embrace?

IAN HAMILTON of Nike, who started working with Andre Agassi when Agassi was 15 and grew his hair long on one side and shaved on the other, quoted in Harvard Business Review, July- August 1992

Being provocative is ultimately more important than being pleasant. But you have to know what you're doing when you walk into the room with broadswords.

DAN WIEDEN of the advertising agency Wieden & Kennedy, which created the "just do it" campaign for Nike, quoted in Harvard Business Review, July- August 1992

You can't create an emotional tie to a bad product be-cause it's not honest.

PHILIP KNIGHT, CEO of Nike, quoted in Harvard Business Review, July- August 1992

I'm not going to let them [Nike] take over the world. When competition is eliminated they can do anything they want. What's going to happen when they own everything? No more incentive to make the bread better and the milk pure.

SONNY VACCARO, formerly of Nike, now working for Adidas to do the same thing, quoted in the New York Times, July 6, 1997

140. Dollars charged by Nike for a pair of CWEBB sneakers, a price so high it was denounced by Washington

1.4.13 Unpleasant Products
It is a difficult marketing chore for a firm to convey to the public that it would like to serve their funeral needs.

JOHN MURROW JR. of the funeral directors Service Corporation International, quoted in Fortune, No-vember 16, 1992

This way the girlfriend can go through the drive-through and pay her respects in whatever way she chooses, while the wife is inside with the deceased. It happens all the time.

LAFAYETTE GATLING, whose Chicago funeral home has drive-through service during which bodies can be viewed on closed-circuit TV, quoted in Newsweek, March 6, 1989

It ain't the dead who give you trouble, it's the living.
Favorite saying among funeral directors, cited in Harper's, November 1997

You see, there is usually only one thought going through the mind of a bereaved family when they walk through the doors of a funeral home . . . get me out of here. Of course, every funeral director knows this. Which is why the most expensive merchandise is always brought to their attention first-- and why, for example, the less expensive caskets are always shown in the ugliest possible colors.

JIM ST. GEORGE, CEO of the coffin maker Consumer-Casket USA, quoted in Harper's, November 1997

It's becoming cooler to be a funeral director than it once was. . . . This is still a very clip-on-tie-and-polyester crowd, though.

Young funeral director at a funeral directors convention, quoted in Harper's, November 1997

We're Number 1 in the Number 2 business.
Slogan of Blow Brothers, a New Hampshire and Maine portable toilet company, on a New Hampshire billboard

We're turning the hold button into the sold button.
RON KIRKPATRICK, CEO of Accurate Communications, who says that 20 percent of those who hear on-hold commercials make a purchase or decision based on what they hear, quoted in the Financial Times, September 22, 1997

First, you have to tell me what kind of underwear you're wearing.

Shhh. Wait a minute. I'm here robbing the house. Whoa! I think the owners just got home. Can you hold?

You want to sell me insurance? I've been trying to get insurance for years, but nobody will sell me any!

To a phone company solicitor: That sounds GREAT! Wait, can you hold for a minute? (Leave the phone off the hook until he hangs up.)

Responses to annoying telemarketing calls, compiled by the Anti-Telemarketing Source, quoted in the New York Times, June 22, 1997

Telemarketing is sociopathic behavior.
ROBERT S. BULMASH, head of the consumer group Private Citizen, quoted in the New York Times, June 22, 1997

6-5-4-5 6-6-6; 5-5-5-; 6-6-6. 6-5-4-5 6-6-6-6 5-5-6-5- 44444444444444.

Numbers for playing "Mary Had a Little Lamb," one of the songs that can be played on a telephone to annoy unwanted callers, quoted in the New York Times, June 22, 1997

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Meet the Author

HENRY EHRLICH is a professional speechwriter whose clients include some of the world's foremost financial, manufacturing, and entertainment companies.

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