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The Zombie Rule Book
A Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
By Tony Newton
John Hunt Publishing Ltd.Copyright © 2013 Tony Newton
All rights reserved.
Rule # 1 Always be prepared to bug out day or night.
Remember this rule. Get your bug-out routine down to a fine art, practice bugging out both during the day and at night, even half way through a shower or dinner. You'll be faster each time. Try to beat your own record.
Rule # 2 Never wear headphones.
When you can't hear what's going on around you, you leave yourself open to attack. Don't find yourself on the street, jiving along to your favourite tune, only to find you've walked straight into a horde of zombies.
Rule # 3 Keep down. Keep out of sight and keep on moving.
Remember these rules when traveling at all times.
Rule # 4 Fill a bathtub with water.
As soon as pandemonium strikes, fill your bathtub with water and fill any bottles or saucepans.
Rule # 5 Destroy the staircase
If you have to, gather all your supplies upstairs and then destroy the staircase. Make sure you have rope or a rope ladder for when you want to get down. Only do this in an emergency, no other escape plan, situation. Always secure all the downstairs windows and doors. Add wood and any other barricade materials to the windows and doors. You can also set up traps or place nailed boards under windows. They will get a nasty shock when they come in, slowing them down enough for you to be able to move fast if you have to.
Rule # 6 Don't go back for anything
Keep moving forward. Don't be tempted to dash back to retrieve that precious keepsake. This is when accidents happen.
Rule # 7 Keep fit!
Keep fit and active. Keeping fit is essential to surviving the zombie apocalypse as you will need to outrun the walking (or in some cases speed-walking) dead; let's just hope it's not a rage virus with super-fast zombies. You may need to outrun a whole horde of zombies, you may need to run to get your weapon/supplies, rescue a friend/relative or from other survivors. You need to increase both the fitness levels and stamina of your body. Start a daily fitness routine and stick to it, your life may depend on it. Whatever your current state of fitness, start keeping fit, it is essential to your survival. Don't underestimate this one. It will be dog eat dog out there. Start implementing a daily fitness routine lasting at least thirty-five minutes a day. Remember this rule, you will find ways of keeping fit throughout this book. Don't put yourself at risk of getting bitten by a zombie or being an easy target for other survivors. KEEP SAFE-KEEP FIT.
Rule # 8 Mental preparation
Being mentally prepared is essential. When the zombie apocalypse arrives be prepared to kill both the dead and the undead. You may need to kill survivors if your life is in danger and if the shit hits the fan, be prepared to kill friends or family in the event that they have turned into the walking dead. Try not to get emotionally involved with new members of the group; you may need to dispose of them if they turn. Get yourself ready for anything, expect the unexpected. It's time to get yourself ready to tackle any obstacle that may come your way.
Rule # 9 Have an attitude for survival
You have no option but to survive, you owe it to yourself and your family. Keep an attitude of survival. You will be forced to do things that the former you would have never dreamed of doing, but remember, you are living an entirely different life now and you will do anything you can to help your chances of survival. Release the inner marine in you, you are strong, you were born to be a survivor.
Rule # 10 Trust no one
This may sound strange, and of course I don't mean your husband/wife, but when meeting fellow survivors it can be risky. Don't let your guard down and keep your wits about you. Although a larger group can mean a greater chance of survival, be wary until they have earned their place in the group. They may try to steal everything you have and even kill you. Trust no one; after all, you are a survivor.
Rule # 11 Destroy the Brain
You have to destroy the brain of the zombie in order for it to be properly dead. Be prepared to do this as you really won't have a choice when it comes to protecting yourself and your loved ones.
Rule # 12 You are never truly safe
Even when you think that you're safe, you are not. Never let your guard down. Don't get too relaxed, you will never be truly safe.
Rule # 13 You will have to fight
You will have to fight, there's no getting away from this. You will need to fight zombies and possibly even wild animals. You will fight people bigger and stronger than yourself. You will need to use what you can to your advantage; weapons, surroundings and of course your brain.
Rule # 14 Always carry a weapon
Use weapons at your disposal, these may be guns, machetes, crowbars, knives, shovels or fire extinguishers. Whatever weapon you have, carry it with you at all times. This will save your life and help you survive the zombie apocalypse. See your weapon as an extension of your new self.
Rule # 15 Safety in numbers
If you are in a safe group of people that you know and can trust, don't leave them, even if the majority of the group wants to go one way and you the other. You have will have a greater chance of survival in a group than on your own, remember this.
Rule # 16 Always have an alternative escape route
This is a must! You may have to go in search of supplies into your nearest town or even an unknown town; you may get cornered unless you have an alternative escape plan. Think smart.
Rule # 17 Wear protective headgear
It's advisable wherever possible to wear protective headgear. Anything which can prevent a bite to the face or head is ideal, but don't choose anything which may obstruct your vision or impair hearing. Headgear is ideal if you are entering a high-risk situation.
Rule # 18 Always wear tight clothing
You don't have to wear a leotard but wear tight clothing, no baggy jeans with your pants showing. Fashion, I'm afraid, will be long gone in the event of a zombie apocalypse and practicality will take over. Safety first here, loose clothing is easily caught, which can prevent you escaping from a situation where you don't have time to spare to unhook caught-up clothing, it can literally mean the difference between life and death.
Rule # 19 Collect weapons
Your new hobby is to collect weapons. You can't go online and buy weapons but on your travels you can add to your weapons. When you're walking carry more than one weapon on you. Don't rely on just one weapon as it might fail just when you need it most. When walking try to have at least 3 weapons at the ready at all times, remember to learn how to use your weapons safely.
Rule # 20 Protective clothing
Think protective clothing. Layer up wherever possible, making it difficult for zombies to take a chunk out of you. If you can obtain a bullet proof vest this may save you when under attack from other survivors. Waterproof and warm clothing are a must, you can't afford to catch a cold or flu, making you weaker and unable to protect yourself.
Rule # 21 Water is the most precious commodity
In a survival situation water will quickly become one of the most precious commodities, so store water as much as you can. Be sure to keep hydrated, by this I don't mean guzzle all of your remaining water. Use your water wisely, spread it out, but you must keep hydrated especially if you are out in the sun a lot. Always be on the lookout for more water supplies. Not getting enough water will cause your body to dehydrate leading to energy loss, dizziness, fatigue, constipation and even cystitis. Use this tip when you need to hydrate quickly. To a litre bottle of water add half a teaspoon of salt and one teaspoon of sugar then give it a shake; this will aid rehydration when you need it most. Always carry water with you and always be thinking of sourcing more water.
Rule # 22 Learn to make Molotov cocktails
The Molotov cocktail is an important part of your survival; it is versatile and very effective. A beer bottle full of flammable liquid with a handkerchief soaked in paraffin as a lighting device is ideal. You can use this against many zombies at a time.
Rule # 23 Do not eat the zombies
This may come as a no brainer but there will be times when you are ravenous yourself and could literally eat anything and even the walking dead may look like a walking cheeseburger, but don't attempt to eat their flesh either uncooked or cooked.
Rule # 24 Eat sensibly
By this I don't mean your five a day packed with fruit and veggies, but ration your food and make sure if you are walking for long periods of time that you refuel your body and at regular intervals.
Rule # 25 Never Keep Zombies as Pets
It's not only inhumane but they may attack you or other people and attract other survivors or zombies. These are vile, disease-carrying, germ-ridden beings that you certainly don't want near you, so think on.
Rule # 26 Learn to drive
There is no better time to perfect your driving skills than in the event of a zombie apocalypse, not being able to drive in this kind of situation is out of the question. Should you be unable to drive when the apocalypse strikes you will have to learn the hard way (better to be prepared). There will be times when you will need to be able to drive. If you are in a group of people and one of you can drive, teach the others. You can't rely on one person, they may be eaten alive by zombies and then there's no driver. If you are on your own, practice carefully whenever possible, it could save your life.
Rule # 27 Make your own weapons
With the right tools you can make a weapon from most things. You may be stuck indoors but one of the first things you should do is equip yourself with as many weapons as you can find. Knives, screwdrivers and other household tools are fantastic. Even old bricks can be used as weapons to throw at zombies. Broken glass, broken furniture legs and power tools are all great weapons. Tying knives and other weapons to broom handles is also ideal.
Rule # 28 Start making plans for your future
In the event that an apocalypse-type situation takes place, you will need to be planning ahead for your future. Ok, so things will be different now. You won't be able to put money by for Friday-night pizza and movie nights but plan your food and drink rations as best you can. Choose a destination, maybe you want to get to an island, a pier or even a large boat. Start planning now. If you wander endlessly without a goal you will eventually succumb to the zombies.
Rule # 29 Don't keep rotting bodies near your base
This one's important. Don't keep rotting dead bodies in your base even if you have personal attachments to the deceased, you cannot do a Norman Bates here. Burying the dead is ideal but only if you are in a place where smoke and fire will not attract more zombies. If you cannot burn the bodies at least move them far away from where you are or bury them.
Rule # 30 Learn martial arts
In the event of an apocalypse, being equipped with the knowledge of protecting yourself is the greatest weapon. You don't have to be like Bruce Lee or get a black belt in karate but it is important to learn martial arts skills. Practice punching and kicking. A rolled-up mattress taped together makes for a great makeshift punch bag. Practicing in pairs allows you to be on the attack and the defense.
Rule # 31 Stock up on food and drink
This one's obvious but you would be surprised at how many people forget to ration their food. In the event of an apocalypse food will keep you strong. You need to know where your next meal is coming from or just how long your rations will last. Prepare, keep the cupboard stocked with things to bulk up on, such as rice and pasta which will fill you up and is cheap and convenient to stock up on and keep just in case you should ever need it. Food and drink will become the new currency and if you have prepared and have plenty of stored food not only will you be able to stay alive but you will be able to trade food for other things you may need. Keep a checklist so you are aware of exactly what you have and try to store tinned foods as they have a long shelf life and will be able to keep you going for a long time. Use a special cupboard in your kitchen for these foods and don't allow yourself to dip into them unless the apocalypse has begun. The end of the world won't wait if it ends on your weekly shopping day and you have nothing in.
Rule # 32 Board up all doors and windows
Securing your home is very important, do this well and as long as you are stocked up on food you will be able to stay in the confines of your home for as long as possible. This will be the safest place to be. Use any available wood, breaking up tables, doors, wooden furniture and nailing them to windows and doors. If you are well-prepared you may not have to leave your house for some time, and if no zombies can get in you will have a greater chance of survival.
Rule # 33 Use your loft
If you have one use it. If you have a loft, keep some of your supplies there. If you have everything you need in there you can cut yourself off from the rest of the world, closing the loft hatch behind you. To be on the safe side make sure you have a window or a way out if the shit hits the fan. Best to take a rope ladder with you in case you have to climb down from the building.
Rule # 34 Only shoot if you have to.
By this I mean the gunshot will alert other survivors and possibly hordes of flesh-eating zombies. If you can safely get out of the situation using another weapon then do so.
Rule # 35 Sleep upstairs
If the house is secure chances are you'll be safe. However, should zombies or other survivors get into your home whilst you're sleeping upstairs, you will have more chance of being woken before anyone gets to you. If you have locks on the doors in your home, keep the bedroom locked at night as an extra preventative. A great tip is to remove the stairs/partially remove the stairs (where applicable) using a ladder instead. This way you can haul the ladder up when you are upstairs, preventing anyone or anything else coming up.
Rule # 36 Medical supplies
Stock up on medical supplies. Things like aspirin and paracetamol, even down to medical supplies like hay-fever tablets nasal sprays and eye baths could be needed and if you stock up on these bartering is always an option. If you are on long-term prescription medication try to put in a repeat prescription slightly early each time so that you have some spare should you need them, the pharmacy may only be round the corner but if the world ends this will be the first stop for lots of survivors and you may run the risk of having to go without.
Rule # 37 Keep lights off
When it's dark keep lights off so as not to alert anyone to your location. A dark house will look unoccupied but a light on will send out a signal to both infected and survivors to come in. Use dull lighting in rooms of your home where the windows and doors are well boarded. You can also nail sheets up over the boards to stop any light escaping. You will obviously need light when you are preparing food and such, but keep it to a small candle and keep in the dark as much as possible.
Rule # 38 Always sleep with your weapons close by
This may sound obvious but it is important to always sleep next to your weapon or weapons. When you wake up with a jump (when someone calls in the middle of the night) you can be disorientated and unable to find your weapon. If it's right there next to you, you will have a chance to defend yourself before being attacked.
Rule # 39 Always aim for the head
As we know from numerous zombie movies, body shots are a waste of time and ammunition. Whether you are shooting or hitting with a hammer always go for the head or you will be just wasting time and energy.
Rule # 40 Cover all wounds
It's important to cover any wounds or open cuts that you have on your body or that people you are traveling/staying with have on them. The smell of fresh blood is very attractive to the undead. Think safety, keeping your wounds covered will be more hygienic and lessen the chances of you getting infected.
Rule # 41 Don't run with your knife
This rule may save your life, remember your mum always saying don't run with scissors or knives? Well there's a lot of common sense there, if you are running and carrying a knife at the same time always face the blade downwards or away from you. You would be surprised at how many people make this mistake and in this situation it could cost you your life.
Excerpted from The Zombie Rule Book by Tony Newton. Copyright © 2013 Tony Newton. Excerpted by permission of John Hunt Publishing Ltd..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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