Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know: Eleven Courageous Canines Tell All

Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know: Eleven Courageous Canines Tell All

4.4 9
by Hy Conrad
     
 

Dear Human:

Your dog probably puzzles you. Most of us do that. And most of us would like to keep things as they are: humans in the dark, dogs with the upper hand.

But we dogs are about to let you in a little secret. Okay, a lot of secrets.

  • We graduated first in our obedience class three times. This should tell you something.<

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Overview

Dear Human:

Your dog probably puzzles you. Most of us do that. And most of us would like to keep things as they are: humans in the dark, dogs with the upper hand.

But we dogs are about to let you in a little secret. Okay, a lot of secrets.

  • We graduated first in our obedience class three times. This should tell you something.
  • Puppies know that they're being cute. They're using you.
  • We don't sound anything like those silly voices you use to imitate us.
  • We hate those ridiculous names you give some of us. Moonbeam is not a dignified name for a mutt.
  • You might want to check your herb garden for fertilizer.
  • We are only wearing this stupid birthday hat so we can get some cake. No self-respecting dog cares about his birthday.
  • We are not spoiled, certainly not in comparison to teenage girls.
  • We are in charge of the house. We let you pretend that you are.
  • We'd be lost without you. We love you.

It's all in our new book, Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You To Know, as told to humans Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson. Even Steve Martin (yes, THAT Steve Martin) raves about us! Inside you'll find revelations such as the reason we at the sofa (leather tastes very similar to rawhide), and what we really think of the costumes you dress us up in.

I'm not alone. Ten other courageous canines have stepped forward to tell you what your dog won't – every last dirty, hairy bit of it. If you have dogs, love dogs, or have ever been baffled by a dog, this book is a must-have.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Dog lovers Conrad, writer/producer of television’s Monk and White Collar; Johnson, a former adman turned writer; and Stefanides, a designer, provide a delightful and amusing collection of comical canine “truths” such as the closely guarded secret that dogs dream about Broadway musicals. Each admission is made by one of 11 endearing dogs of various breeds, each with a distinctive personality and voice, from Gabby, the long-haired dachshund, and Orson, the bulldog, to Axelrod, the yellow Lab, and Bandana, the border collie. They reveal the secrets we humans have only guessed at for centuries such as the science behind begging, why dogs chew furniture, and why they eat grass. Each confession is accompanied by a full-color photo of the confessor. The book’s design also uses different handwriting typefaces for each dog that lends itself to a diarylike feel. Topics covered run the gamut from Gabby’s in-heat “dating” philosophy to Axelrod’s interpretation of human words that pretty much all translate to mean food. A whimsical delight for dog lovers everywhere, this book will charm and remind readers why they fell in love with Rover to begin with. (Apr.)
Publiishers Weekly
STARRED REVIEW- A delightful and amusing collection of comical canine "truths"...A whimsical delight for dog lovers everywhere, this book will charm and remind readers why they fell in love with Rover to begin with.
From the Publisher
I laughed, my dog howled.

This is the perfect book for anyone who owns a dog, has ever owned one, or knows what a dog is. These guys made me laugh out loud — and captured my heart at the same time. The book is simply irresistible.

If everyone owned a dog, we would have world peace. If everyone reads this book, they will go and get a dog and we will have taken a big step in the right direction. So this book can save the world. It will definitely change your life.

Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson must have been dogs in another life. Their wry and witty insights into the minds of dogs are downright uncanny. Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know is hilarious and sensational.

STARRED REVIEW-"A delightful and amusing collection of comical canine "truths"...A whimsical delight for dog lovers everywhere, this book will charm and remind readers why they fell in love with Rover to begin with.

These entertaining authors know and love dogs and give them appealing voices...it's all about the stories.

At times poignant, at times hilarious,this canine tell-all will let even the most experienced dog owners in on the secret world of our best friends.

I read it with my whole family and everyone couldn't stop laughing.

The authors were able to really capture the goodness and innocence of dogs. You can't be mad at them when you see the special way they see the world and their own actions. All they want to do is please their owners... but sometimes their naive actions don't get the exact outcome they expected. And they can't wrap their heads around it. Just like us. LOL.

So, if you love dogs and enjoy humor, you'll love Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know. I did.

Hysterically on point and sweet. I can see many of these things being thought by my own 4 legged family members. A great gift for the dog lover in your life.

The book is written from the point of view of the dogs, which makes it all the more funny. You get a rather comical look at what might go on in their brains.

What a charming and funny book this was. A very entertaining and light read. As a dog lover I found myself chuckling and nodding in agreement at some of the antics and views of the dogs

This is a cute book in how the author makes you think the dogs are talking to you and telling your their quips about life.

If you've ever wondered what your dog thinks about sharing his life with you and, if you're like me and have created your own "voice" for your dog already, you'll find this book is belly-laughing funny. I read it while stuck between flights at an airport and got a number of concerned looks from passengers hoping they wouldn't be sitting next to this crazy woman laughing hysterically while reading about dogs.

"This is the perfect book for dog lovers of all ages...Each dog has a distinct personality and you will find yourself wondering what your dog is thinking about. A+ for a fun, beautifully crafted book. " - Maria's Space

I think this is a very cute book and if you're the the type of person who would buy a book like this in the first place, then you'll probably like it a lot.

It was a funny, easy-to-read, laugh-out-loud book that dog owners will enjoy, yet dogs may have a cause of concern as now their secrets are out to us humans.

Not only was it funny, but you could pick and choose which little story you wanted to read, unlike a regular book where you have to go from beginning to end. I've picked it up countless times and read it over and over again, laughing each time. It would make a great gift for dog lovers too!

Mother's day gifts for pet mamas

If you have friends, sisters, grandmothers, friends or loved ones who are doggie mamas, then here are some gift ideas for Mother's day, May 13...

1. Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You To Know

This book is a MUST Read. It is written by 11 tell all dogs, told to Jeff Johnson, Hy Conrad (Monk) and Steve Martin...

For dog lovers, this book will have you laughing, crying, and cuddling with your favorite four-legged friend.

I love the fact that this book is both laugh-out-loud entertaining and includes so much valuable information about dogs I have not read in any other book.

It's part trivia, part informative, part humor, and all pretty dang cute.

Library Journal
TV writer Conrad (Monk) and Johnson (coauthor, The Hourglass Solution: A Boomer's Guide to the Rest of Your Life) distill common breed stereotypes from the hardworking German Shepherd to the spoiled Chihuahua to create 11 lovable characters representing males and females in a range of sizes and ages. Each two-page illustrated essay shares a dog's point of view on topics from what dogs do all day to why they are always hungry to how to raise puppies and children. These entertaining authors know and love dogs and give them appealing voices. No topic is off-limits: sex, social networking, and drugs are chronicled along with more poignant subjects. Don't believe everything the dogs say—Orson the bulldog minimizes the risks of chocolate, grapes, and chicken bones. VERDICT This book resonates as animal humor/fiction more than as a guide to understanding dogs. Readers may enjoy some canine characters and companions more than others—it's all about the stories. Pet lovers looking for amusement and practical information might consider Justine A. Lee's It's a Dog's Life…but It's Your Carpet.—Kristine Alpi, North Carolina State Univ. Libs., Raleigh

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781402263286
Publisher:
Sourcebooks
Publication date:
04/01/2012
Pages:
240
Sales rank:
471,452
Product dimensions:
6.00(w) x 7.70(h) x 0.70(d)

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