This Is Not My Beautiful Life: A Memoir

by Victoria Fedden Narrated by Jorjeana Marie

Overview

When a squad of federal agents burst through her parents' front door, Victoria Fedden felt ill-prepared to meet them: She was weeks away from her due date, and her T-shirt wasn't long enough to hide her maternity undies. As for the question of how to raise a child when you've just discovered that your mother and stepfather have allegedly masterminded a pump-and-dump scheme? She was pretty sure that wasn't covered in What to Expect When You're Expecting-and she really hoped that Bradford Cohen, the noted criminal defense attorney who famously waived his exemption on The Apprentice, would prove them innocent.



This Is Not My Beautiful Life is the story of how Victoria lost her parents to prison and nearly lost her mind. No one ever said motherhood would be easy, but as she struggles to change diapers, install car seats, and find the right drop-off line at preschool-no easy task when each one is named for a stage in the life cycle of a butterfly-she's also forced to ask herself whether a jumpsuit might actually complement her mom's platinum-blonde extensions and fend off the cast of shady, stranger-than-fiction characters who populated her parents' world.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

A scandalously funny memoir about starting a new family while taking care of the felonious one you’ve already got.”—O, The Oprah Magazine

"Hilarious...Honest, unexpected, and gut-wrenchingly funny, Fedden's memoir of family and fraud is a must-read."—Harper's Bazaar (#TheList)

"A memoir with a premise so out of this world it’s hard to believe it’s not fiction."—Hello Giggles (New Books You Need to Read This Summer)

"In Fedden's hilarious new memoir, This Is Not My Beautiful Life, we get a clear picture of what it's like to grow up in a dysfunctional family living at the edge of the law. It would all make for a really great T.V. sitcom...if It weren't real...This quirky memoir is definitely one to add to your reading list."—Parents magazine

"This book is the very definition of summer reading."—The Rumpus

"This Is Not My Beautiful Life by Victoria Fedden is a roller-coaster of a story that proves that sometimes the truth IS stranger than fiction. Cancel all your plans today, because you will get nothing else accomplished once you start this book. Is 'unputdownable' a word? Well, it is now. This book is unputdownable!"—Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges

"It may not be beautiful, but Victoria Fedden's life is never dull. Her hugely entertaining memoir of growing up with big-hearted criminals for parents is a compelling, fun, illuminating look into how family ties can strangle us just a little."—Celia Rivenbark, New York Times bestselling author and syndicated humor columnist

"A scandalously funny memoir about starting a new family while taking care of the felonious one you’ve already got."—The Huffington Post

"What’s a new mom to do when her family is in barely functioning order and she’s got a new human on her hands? Work her way through it — and this laugh-out-loud memoir tells us how she did it."—Refinery29 (Perfect Books for your Summer Vacay)

"Fans of Arrested Development will enjoy Victoria Fedden's This Is Not My Beautiful Life...Fedden brings humor to her writing, making a miserable time a highly readable memoir."—Bustle (Must-Read Nonfiction Books)

"Fedden's book charts a refreshing path through family dysfunction and personal redemption. Entertaining and unexpectedly wise."—Kirkus Reviews

"This is a family which, as do many popular reality-television show clans, excels at outrageous behavior...Fedden's true story of crime, comeuppance, and toughing it out will appeal to all devotees of scandalous endeavors."—Booklist

“Fedden, whose places a high priority on caring for her troubled family, details with unfailing honesty and humor [their] joys and meltdowns...[Her mother and stepfather] are straight out of a Carl Hiaasen novel: AARP-age criminals who take pride in having a couch that was used in a porn film, shop at Costco, and are friends with gigolos, Russian mobsters, and singer Michael Bolton, among others."—Publishers Weekly

"This Is Not My Beautiful Life is as absurd as it is grounded. Filled with characters so over the top you'll suspect it's fiction, you will end up convinced no one could make this stuff up. Victoria Fedden has managed to bring startling reality and touching humanity to a story that feels larger than life."—Taylor Jenkins Reid, author of Maybe In Another Life

"Victoria Fedden's memoir is a hilarious mash-up of Married to the Mob, Parenthood, and Co-dependent No More. Any writer who can deadpan a sentence like 'Mom was out on bond by the time I got home' gets my vote. This is a big-hearted book for screw-ups, late-bloomers, and second-chancers."—Betsy Lerner, author of The Bridge Ladies

From the Publisher - AUDIO COMMENTARY

"Fedden's true story of crime, comeuppance, and toughing it out will appeal to all devotees of scandalous endeavors and tabloid tales." —Booklist

Kirkus Reviews

2016-03-27
A blogger and nonfiction writer's account of how she survived both new motherhood and her eccentric parents' federal imprisonment for fraud. Fedden was 36 years old and nine months pregnant when she had her first encounter with the federal agents who raided her parents' luxurious South Florida home. She already knew that her wisecracking mother, Cecily, had once dabbled in drug dealing. Alongside her husband, Joel, a man who produced softcore pornography for cable TV, Cecily made "deals" that the pair never discussed. Despite the questionable nature of their business, arrest—and eventually, incarceration—was not what Fedden expected would happen to the parents whose friends included John Gotti's nephew and the "hooker who claimed to have screwed Mohammed Atta the week before 9/11." The author and her husband tried to build a quiet, relatively conventional life together, but inevitably, they became unwitting witnesses to the chaos that enveloped their parents' lives. Cecily emptied out checking accounts to "stick it straight up [the] asses" of government officials bent on destroying her life. Not to be outdone, Joel cheated on her with women who were either younger or crazier than she was. Meanwhile, Fedden struggled through the rigors of early motherhood. Feeling "defective as a woman" and generally incompetent in comparison to her apparently "perfect" sister, she explored yoga and New Age teachings, which she ridiculed at first but grew to love. As her parents' glittering world began to crumble, Fedden muddled her way to understanding that a "beautiful life" was less about finding perfection and more about accepting, and loving, flaws, especially in family members. At once disturbing and appealing, Fedden's book charts a refreshing path through family dysfunction and personal redemption. Entertaining and unexpectedly wise.

Product Details

BN ID:	2940170953332
Publisher:	Tantor Audio
Publication date:	09/27/2016
Edition description:	Unabridged

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