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Tickled Pink: A Comic Novel [NOOK Book]

Overview

Mindy Solomon absolutely has to leave Miami. Florida is bad for her head and her hair. She dreams of a dancing career on Broadway and moves to New York, but after a string of failures and mishaps, she realizes that she needs to rethink her grand plan. Finding herself spending way too much time in the comedy club where her future ex-boyfriend works, she nervously goes up onstage one night. People laugh. Not in the places where Mindy thought they'd laugh, but hey, it's a start.
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Tickled Pink: A Comic Novel

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Overview

Mindy Solomon absolutely has to leave Miami. Florida is bad for her head and her hair. She dreams of a dancing career on Broadway and moves to New York, but after a string of failures and mishaps, she realizes that she needs to rethink her grand plan. Finding herself spending way too much time in the comedy club where her future ex-boyfriend works, she nervously goes up onstage one night. People laugh. Not in the places where Mindy thought they'd laugh, but hey, it's a start.
Mindy and her friend Ursula Duran, a man-magnet model-slash-actress-slash-deeply troubled woman, soon embark on a wild ride that ricochets from New York's East Side Hotel for Women to the comedy circuit, auditions, photo shoots, film premieres, cable TV specials, Hollywood studios, late-night TV talk shows, and beyond. Surrounded by sleazy agents, sleazier lovers, and Ursula's even sleazier mother, the two find that life writes a few punch lines they weren't expecting...but through it all, they somehow manage to have the last laugh.
Rita Rudner has crafted a debut novel that is not just funny, but moving and insightful. With its insider's viewpoint of the world of stand-up comedy, Tickled Pink is also, at its core, a touching tale of love, loss, female friendship, and forgiveness.
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
In her first novel, what could be a thinly veiled autobiographical look at Rudner's discovery of her own comedic outlook is embodied in the friendship between dancer-turned-stand-up comedian Mindy Solomon and model-turned-actress Ursula Duran. It takes the author a while to find the right level of character development versus the delivery of clever lines, but the story gets stronger as the friendship is tested by career moves and male companions; the two main figures are well supported by memorable minor roles and an insider's view of the stepladder system in comedy clubs. The book as read by Rudner herself resonates with her specific comedic style and pacing, often to a listener's detriment as the recording goes from near whisper to shouting, depending on the punchline. A nice diversion for primarily female audiences.-Joyce Kessel, Villa Maria Coll., Buffalo, NY Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
Can a brunette comedian forgive her blond best friend for stealing the show? Eventually. Heading for New York from Miami after her mother's death from cancer, teenaged Mindy Solomon hopes to make it big on Broadway-but changes plans after two men who were supposed to catch her during a dance routine . . . didn't. The injuries force her to hang up her tap shoes and turn to comedy, delighted to find that she has a gift for making people laugh. Meanwhile, beautiful Ursula Duran, illegitimate daughter of a self-absorbed shrew who neglected her, struggles to find work as a model and suddenly skyrockets to fame when her heretofore-indifferent mother, Eva, wakes up, smells the money-and appoints herself manager. She arrives on the scene just in time to rescue Ursula from the amorous designs of Brandon Holmes, former advertising exec turned TV honcho. Yes, he's Ursula's long-lost father . . . just one of many unpleasant surprises life has in store for both women. Mindy's road to success is equally bumpy, but guest appearances on David Letterman and other shows get her noticed, and soon she's tapped for the lead in a new sitcom. Unfortunately, loathsome studio head Leonard Felk thinks that blonds are better-and Ursula's mother Eva has been hanging around with him, displaying her enormous, brand-new boobs and other expensive plastic surgery. Mindy is aghast to discover that she's been demoted to writer and that Ursula will star. She knows her friend can't act-but she can't help being wildly jealous. Mindy ends up in bed with Ursula's ex-husband, a comedian-and gets pregnant. Understandably, she can't bring herself to tell Ursula-and then a car accident puts her former friend into a coma. Strickenwith guilt, Mindy makes a bedside confession, and . . . Ursula wakes up. A witty, droll foray into fiction for Rudner (Naked Beneath My Clothes, 1992). Author tour
From the Publisher
Steve Martin On stage Rita Rudner is funny, sharp, and clever. On the page, she is funny, sharp, clever...and poignant.

Emma Thompson A wonderful, funny book containing a great story and everything that's ever needed to be said about show business. I had a ball from beginning to end. It's terrific.

Dennis Miller I laughed, I cried, I cried some more, I read Tickled Pink and I laughed.

Hugh Laurie Tickled Pink is really two books in one. The first is the one you laugh at, and the second is the one you laugh at all over again, only crying this time because it's even funnier the second time around.

Whoopi Goldberg Once again, Rita Rudner proves there is intelligent life in entertainment, thank goodness!!!

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780743451352
  • Publisher: Atria Books
  • Publication date: 11/17/2001
  • Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 955,672
  • File size: 350 KB

Meet the Author

Rita Rudner is well known for her prowess as a comedian. Less well known are her accomplishments as an author and screenwriter. Coauthor of the screenplays for the award-winning films Peter's Friends, which starred Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh, and A Weekend in the Country, which starred Jack Lemmon, Rudner is also the bestselling author of two previous books: Naked Beneath My Clothes and Rita Rudner's Guide to Men. She has starred in two of her own HBO specials, Born to Be Mild and Married Without Children, and presently performs exclusively in Las Vegas. Visit her Web site at www.ritafunny.com.
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Read an Excerpt

From Tickled Pink: North by Northeast

Mindy Solomon harbored a trust issue from an early age.

"You always have to give people the benefit of the doubt," Mindy's mother used to advise.

"Why?" Mindy would ask. "Isn't it safer to assume people are going to let you down?"

This was a complicated question for a child to ask, but Mindy had always been full of complicated questions: How do families who live in mobile homes get their mail? Where did moths gather before the lightbulb was invented? Why do you never see a baby pigeon? And, most important, how could someone as nice as her mother, who never had a bad word to say about anybody and whom everybody loved, be stricken with a terrible disease? That was a question that defied any answer. Fish banana. That's what Mindy's mother would say when things happened that made no sense.

Before her mother's illness, Mindy's biggest concern had been how she would get to ballet class seven times a week. Mindy adored ballet lessons. She reveled in the discipline and the fact that there was always something definite to strive for. One pirouette was achieved, then two. The methodical progression of physical achievement was both satisfying and tangible to her.

Her mother first brought her to a Russian émigré who had trained with the Kirov. His studio was located above a fish restaurant in Coral Gables. alexander mischinoff's school of classical dance and the friendly lobster were both featured on the same sign. Once, an unattended batch of live lobsters made its way up the stairs to the ballet school. Little girls can scream, but they scream louder than anyone can imagine when confronted with live lobsters. Mindy liked to remember the lobsters voluntarily returning to the restaurant, their claws clamped tightly over where their ears should have been.

"You must tuck your tush under so no one will know it's there," Mr. Mischinoff would say to Mindy while tapping her derrière with his stick, thereby creating a fixation that would remain with her for the rest of her life.

One muggy Miami day in September, Mindy sat calmly in the living room on the sofa and listened for her father's car in the driveway. Before he had even opened the garage door, Mindy ran out of the house and said in a voice containing none of the emotion a television movie about the subject would demand, "Dad, mom died."

"Okay," her father replied.

They opened the door that had remained closed so much of the last year, as if to keep the cancer from metastasizing to other parts of the house, and entered the bedroom. Neither Mindy nor her father wept. They stood there quietly for a few minutes, saying final, silent good-byes, then made their way into the kitchen. Her father picked up the red phone receiver that had never quite matched the café curtains in the way his wife had intended. He opened the address book and began the task that had to be performed.

"Harriet, Rose passed away."

"Miriam, Rose passed away."

Mindy watched in silent witness as her remaining parent methodically notified all the people who would be angry if they failed to hear the news directly from him. Mindy realized the term passed away was much easier on the people left behind. The word died, with its book-ending consonants, was too final. Passed away somehow implied the person now lived in another universe. Mindy, however, was unable to even get to passed away. She invented her own personal euphemism: floated up. Mindy preferred to think her mother was hovering above her, perched on a Posturepedic cloud, watching the show.

Mindy was thirteen when her mother floated up. She had never been a gregarious child, and her maternal predicament had made sustaining friendships even harder. So much of a child's social calendar is created by reciprocal invitation, and Mindy's mother's long illness had made hosting play days, birthday parties, and sleepovers impossible. Her mother's death further ostracized Mindy. Fellow students were sympathetic to her plight — "There goes poor Mindy" was a refrain she often heard whispered behind her in the school corridors. However, nobody actively attempted to engage the glum, sallow teenager in a meaningful relationship. For her part, Mindy felt neither able to experience nor to understand the carefree hysteria enjoyed by her contemporaries.

She was still happiest in ballet school, lost in the individual complexities of new moves that her growing body struggled to master. It was here Mindy developed her plan: Too young to either consider or fear failure, she would graduate from high school, move to New York City, and become a professional dancer. She had no doubt she would land a job in a Broadway show. Other possibilities never occurred to her, like ending up a murder victim, a drug addict, or, even worse, one of those people who bounce around on street corners, wearing a giant hand pointing to the new condominiums.

And so it was, a few years further on, that seventeen-year-old Mindy stood in the foyer of her Florida home, framed by the midpriced luggage she had requested as her high school graduation present, waiting for a dented taxi with questionable suspension to shake her to the airport.

It was the summer of 1980: Ronald Reagan was running for president, Elizabeth Taylor was in rehab, and Sting had hair. Nobody was on the Internet, the ozone layer was thicker, and the Spice Girls were not yet potty-trained. It was not an innocent time, but, as with any year, it was more innocent than the times that would follow.

"Why are you going to New York? What have I done? Is it Smila?" her father asked, as beads of sweat serpentined guiltily down his forehead.

"Dad, it's not you, and it's not even Smila."

Actually, it was partly Smila. A mere year after Mindy's mother had died, her father had married a Swedish masseuse. Hal Solomon, possessing no psychological means by which to deal with his wife's tragic passing, had thought the best course of action for both his motherless child and himself was quite simply to replace one wife with another as swiftly as possible. Smila had not been difficult to find, Mindy had noticed bitterly, because Jewish widowers in Florida get snapped up faster than free samples of mouthwash at a garlic convention.

Smila possessed cheekbones that could slice salami and toes the length of fingers. Mindy marveled how, at six feet two inches, Smila could dust the tops of things that average-size women didn't even know were dusty. Mindy did not begrudge her father whatever happiness he could find. She realized how much he deserved a new life. However, his plan had backfired. Rather than providing Mindy with a replacement mother, his marriage caused Mindy to feel even more disconnected. When Mindy was sixteen her father and Smila unexpectedly produced a baby daughter who had a name that no one could pronounce, and now the three of them were a new family unit. Mindy felt it was time for her, part of her father's old life that had ended badly, to vacate the building.

"I have to go. There's nothing for me to do here," explained Mindy.

"You could go to college. That's why Grandpa left you that money."

"That's not what he said to me before he died."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me if he was in Canada."

"He was senile. I know he wanted you to go to college. He wanted you to get a teaching degree so you'd have something to fall back on."

"Well, all he said to me was that he felt there was a possibility he might be in Canada. I took it to mean 'Go to New York, be a dancer, and once in a while, face north.'"

It was a family trait to be glib in serious situations. Mindy remembered her mother, bald from chemotherapy, referring to her wig as a fur coat for her head. And in those final weeks, when Rose was too weak to watch television or to read, she had still managed to teach the family parrot, Rover, to moo. Years later, when asked to supply her religious upbringing, Mindy often told people she was "Glibbish."

The cabdriver honked outside. Mindy hugged her dad tightly and her stepmother loosely. The baby, Vendetta or whatever it was called, cried in the background.

Mindy took one last look at the living room. There was the expensive covered candy dish she had knocked over when she was three that became an ashtray in a house where nobody smoked. Nearby was the beige armchair with the cushion that must never be turned over because of the "barbecue sauce incident." And there on the wall was the too-perfectly-skin-toned family portrait of the happy three of them, precancer. The old furniture her mother had chosen was grouped into one corner of the room to make way for Smila's new modern sectional pieces. Mindy expected the old stuff would soon make its way to the garage, after which the Swedish masseuse would probably set fire to it.

Picking up her suitcase, containing mostly leotards and tights, and her shoulder bag, containing her grandfather's five thousand dollars and a tiny pink rose her mother had once made for her out of satin ribbon, Mindy made her way toward the front door. Her father followed closely.

"You can come home whenever you want to — you can change your mind — please be careful — call me when you get to the hotel."

He ran his sentences together to make sure he got everything in before Mindy closed the brutalized taxi door. As the vehicle pulled away, Mindy lowered her head, hoping the driver was unable to see her crying in the backseat.

Copyright © 2001 by Rita Rudner

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