To Have and to Hold: A Personal Handbook for Building a Strong Marriage and Preventing Affairs

Overview

From the author of The Monogamy Myth, an essential guide written specifically for married couples to strengthen their relationship and prevent affairs.

Based on Peggy Vaughan's 30 years of work with married couples and the issue of affairs, this new handbook challenges the assumption that monogamy can be taken for granted, and provides the tools for building a strong marriage and preventing affairs.

Explaining the need to focus on preventing ...

See more details below
Paperback
$13.22
BN.com price
(Save 11%)$14.95 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (40) from $1.99   
  • New (12) from $3.75   
  • Used (28) from $1.99   
To Have and To Hold: A Personal Handbook for Building a Strong Marriage and Preventing Affairs

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$7.99
BN.com price

Overview

From the author of The Monogamy Myth, an essential guide written specifically for married couples to strengthen their relationship and prevent affairs.

Based on Peggy Vaughan's 30 years of work with married couples and the issue of affairs, this new handbook challenges the assumption that monogamy can be taken for granted, and provides the tools for building a strong marriage and preventing affairs.

Explaining the need to focus on preventing affairs before there is any threat to a marriage, she draws on her survey of 755 people regarding their beliefs to present "What Won't Work" and "What Will Work" to prevent affairs.

Throughout To Have and to Hold, Vaughan details specific strategies and techniques, emphasizing that:

  • Relying on attitudes and beliefs is not sufficient to maintain a monogamous relationship over a lifetime.
  • Focusing on actions and behaviors is far more significant to strengthen a relationship.
  • Responsible honesty is the single most important factor in preventing affairs.
  • Everybody (society as a whole) plays a role in supporting couples' efforts to maintain monogamy.
  • Parents have a special responsibility to break the pattern for future generations.

Four appendices present Vaughan's survey questionnaire along with detailed breakdowns of responses.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"This book is terrific. It should be required reading for all engaged couples, in all marriage education groups, and for all marriage therapists."&#8212Susan Heitler, Ph.D., author of The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781557048516
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 5/25/2010
  • Pages: 208
  • Product dimensions: 5.40 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 0.40 (d)

Meet the Author

Peggy Vaughan is an internationally recognized expert in the area of extramarital affairs. Drawing on her first-hand experience with her husband's affairs three decades ago, thousands of letters, her survey research projects, and her work with BAN (Beyond Affairs Network), an organization of local support groups that she founded and coordinates through www.dearpeggy.com, Peggy Vaughan has built a reputation as the authority on recovering from affairs. She lives in La Jolla, California, with her husband.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Personal Note from the Author v

Introduction 1

Part I What Won't Work (Relying on Attitudes and Beliefs) 9

1 Being in love with your partner 11

2 Having similar backgrounds and values 18

3 Having mutual trust 25

4 Having high moral principles and/or religious convictions 33

5 Taking the marriage vows seriously/intending to be faithful 37

6 Having children together-being a devoted mother/father 44

7 Concerns about consequences: hurting others/getting caught 49

8 Having no opportunity-no free time, never travel, etc. 55

Part II What Will Work (Focusing on Actions and Behaviors) 59

9 Having ongoing honest communication about marital issues 60

10 Acknowledging and discussing attractions to others 67

11 Trying to meet your partner's needs 72

12 Having a satisfying marital sex life 77

13 Maintaining professional boundaries with co-workers 84

14 Avoiding personal relationships on the Internet 94

15 The bottom line 101

Epilogue: The Special Roles of Society and of Parents 106

Role of society (all of us) in preventing affairs 106

Role of parents in prevention for future generations 110

Appendix I Questionnaire and Overview of Responses 118

Copy of Entire Survey Questionnaire 118

Overview of Responses (broken down by subcategories) 119

Appendix II Rankings of Responses to Questionnaire 126

Rankings by Totals, Gender, Marital Status, Experience 128

Bibliography 133

Acknowledgments 135

About the Author 136

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 9, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)