To Have and To Hurt: Recognizing and Changing, or Escaping, Patterns of Abuse in Intimate Relationships

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Overview

Every year, nearly 2 million injuries and some 1,300 deaths result from so-called intimate partner violence. In this work, psychotherapist Browne-Miller uses vignettes, as well as standing and emerging research, to detail both healthy and hurtful relationships and to show partners how to recognize and change relationships on, or headed toward, the path to abuse. She also explains when to leave a relationship, as well as how to do that so as to disentangle without further harm. This is a book that will interest not only those involved in, or who know of someone who is or might be involved in, an abusive relationship, but also students and scholars of psychology, counseling, social work, women's studies, and men's studies.

When Cathy and John married 20 years ago, the relationship seemed almost charmed. But over the years as John's career became more established and Cathy raised the family of three children, things changed. First angry fights developed, followed by verbal and gestured threats of violence, and later, actual physical attacks and injuries. Several times Cathy called police, but when they arrived, fearing the social stigma as well as John's retribution, she would explain her injuries as dealt out by a prowler. When friends or family asked, she would claim the cuts or bruises were due to a fall or some other accident. But eventually, when her arm had been broken, a tooth knocked out, and her face bruised so badly she could not cover it up with makeup, she finally left the house and her husband—only to be stalked. Cathy and John are one couple that Angela Browne-Miller introduces us to in this book that looks at the increasingly publicized incidence of intimate partner violence, abuse that takes place behind closed doors, inside marriages and other loving relationships. Only a fraction of this abuse is ever reported, so just a fragment of the problem is reflected in national statistics that show nearly 2 million injuries and some 1,300 deaths annually caused by this so-called intimate partner violence. In this work, Browne-Miller uses vignettes, as well as standing and emerging research, to help us recognize the difference between a relationship being effected by normal stressors, and one that is abusive, or perhaps even deadly.

Psychotherapist Browne-Miller details both healthy and hurtful relationships and shows partners how to recognize and change relationships on, or headed down, the path to abuse. And she also explains when we should leave a relationship, as well as how to do that to disentangle without further harm. This is a book that will interest not only lay readers who are involved in, or know of someone who is or might be involved in, an abusive relationship, but also students and scholars of psychology, counseling, social work, women's studies, and men's studies.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"Alongside the various intimite relationship theories, Browne-Miller's book offers many helpful illustrations and charts comparing models of healthy and unhealthy relationship progression. As well, practical lists of early warning signs of abuse and illuminating stories of concrete intimate partner situations helpt to illustrate where relationships succeed and fail….This book is an excellent read for a general educated audience, building the reader's subtle awareness of the intricacies of partner abuse."

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Metapsychology Online Reviews

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780275997205
  • Publisher: Greenwood Publishing Group, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 8/30/2007
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 256
  • Product dimensions: 6.40 (w) x 9.30 (h) x 1.20 (d)

Meet the Author

ANGELA BROWNE-MILLER is a Psychotherapist and Director of the Metaxis Institute based in Tiburon, California. She earned her two doctorates and two master's degrees at the University of California at Berkeley, where she lectured later in three departments for more than a decade. Browne-Miller has served as a Postdoctoral Fellow for the National Institute of Mental Health, a Fellow of the U.S. Administration on Children, Youth and Families, and a Fellow at the U.S. Department of Public Health. She has taught, researched and designed and worked in fields including: behanivoral and substance addiction, domestic, sexual and family violence; adult, teen and child development; and mental health.

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